Flawed Heart
Page 6
I reach over, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She shivers, but doesn’t stop me. “You don’t have to be,” I say in a low, raspy voice.
She shrugs. “Y-y-y-yeah, maybe.”
I lean back again, but I keep my eyes on her face. “I could use another friend.”
Her brows go up. “I thought the entire school population were your friends?”
I stare out at the ocean. “You know, you’re the first person I’ve had a decent conversation with in such a long time. I forget the last one I had. I might be surrounded by people, Blue Belle, but none of them know me.”
She fully turns to me, her eyes wide and shocked. “I could never imagine how having that many people around could actually make you lonelier. I’d kill for so many people to talk to.”
“And yet those people don’t really want to talk to you; they just want to be seen with a status symbol.”
She nods, studying my face.
“Max?”
We both flinch and I turn to see Demi storming—well stumbling—across the beach. I stand, looking down at Belle. “I should go.”
She tears her eyes from Demi and looks up at me. “Okay.”
It comes out as a whisper. Fuck. I want nothing more than to stay with her, but I know Demi will just pitch a fit, and it’ll only make this amazing conversation shitty.
I turn and walk towards Demi, but stop after a few steps and look back over my shoulder. “Hey, Blue Belle?”
She looks up at me.
“Does this mean we’re friends?”
She smiles.
Fuck yeah.
CHAPTER FOUR
NOW – ANABELLE
I can’t stop thinking about Max.
It’s been two weeks since he came past, and in that time I’ve thought of nothing else. I keep repeating his words over and over in my head. The more I think of it, the more I wonder if I should just go and see him. How can I possibly judge if he’s fit to be in Immy’s life if I’ve not even gone to find out for myself? That’s selfish, and I can’t afford to be selfish with her.
What will she think of me if she grows up not knowing her father because I was too scared to introduce them?
So I’ve come to a decision. Tonight I’m going to the House Of Obsidian. I’m going to go and check things out behind the scenes. I don’t want to make a big deal of it; I don’t even know if I’ll talk to Max. I just want to see the kind of life he’s living. I need to judge with my own eyes, and so that’s what I’m going to do.
I am sick to my stomach at the very idea.
Seeing Max again isn’t something I’m overly sure I can handle, but I’ve made the choice and I’m not backing down. Tina will be over any minute to look after Immy and I’m standing in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection, wondering if I need to wipe my make up off, or if I need to apply more. Why should it even matter? He’s not going to see me. I’m just going to check things out.
Right?
“There you are!”
I jump with a squeal and see Pippa standing in the doorway to my bedroom. She’s got the cutest pair of grey cotton shorts on, and her top has a giant, pink kitty on it. Only Pippa could make those kinds of things look amazing. Her blonde hair is thrown over one shoulder and she’s smiling at me, always smiling.
“Sorry.” She laughs. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I press a hand to my heart. “Sorry, I was off in my own little world.”
She studies me. “You look gorgeous. Where are you going?”
“I’m . . .” I hesitate. “Going to see Max.”
Her eyes get big. “You are?” she breathes. “Why?”
I tell her how I’ve been feeling, and she listens the entire time, nodding softly every now and then. “I understand,” she says when I stop talking. “And I think you’re doing a really brave thing.”
I let out a long, draining sigh. “I hope so, Pip, because it doesn’t feel like it right now.”
She walks in and hugs me. “You’re making the right choice,” she reassures me. “Trust me.”
“Hey ladies.”
We pull apart and look to see Tina standing in the doorway. She looks a good deal like me; only her hair is blond instead of strawberry blond like mine. We have the same build, the same curves and the same eyes. Mom always said we should have been twins, because we’re so scarily similar. Even our personalities can tend to be the same. Though Tina can be feistier than me when she wants.
“Hey Tina.” I smile, walking over and hugging her. “Thanks for doing this.”
She waves a hand. “Anything to get you out and about.”
Pippa and I give each other a quick look, and I hope she understands that I haven’t told Tina the truth. She isn’t Max’s biggest fan, and if it were up to her, she’d never want me to see him again. Not that I can blame her; hell, it was because of him I moved away and left everything behind. I shut down, switched off, and it took years for me to start bonding with my family again, even though they’d done nothing wrong.
“Well,” I say, breaking the silence, “I’m going to get going. Tina, give me a call if Immy needs anything.”
She waves a hand. “Nonsense, we’ll be fine. Enjoy.”
I give them a quick wave and then rush into the living area to grab my heels and purse. I double-check myself in the mirror on the way out, decide it’ll do, and then rush out the door. I take a cab, just for safety’s sake. I’ll probably have a drink, purely because I’m so nervous I want to vomit. He won’t see me. He won’t. I’m just going there to see what is going on in his life. That’s all. It’s that simple.
Yeah, right. Nothing’s that simple.
I have already ordered a cab, so I jump in when it arrives five minutes later. I fidget in my tight black dress, wondering if it’s too much. What if it’s just a casual club now? It’s been so long since I’ve seen it. Pippa told me that it’s quite a nice place, so I went with my gut and decided to dress as if I was going for a night on the town.
I pull out my phone and try to glance at my reflection on the screen, but I can’t see anything. I left my strawberry-blond hair down, but I’m starting to wonder if that was a bad idea. I already stand out in a crowd as it is. Max would never miss my hair.
He loved it.
Once.
The cab driver arrives twenty minutes later at a massive club. I stare out at it, confused. This . . . this isn’t what I remember. I glance up at the massive silver sign and it definitely says House Of Obsidian. I have vague memories of the club, and it was always nice but never this flash. Max’s dad struggled to keep the funds up to it, but this club is pristine, buzzing with people, and twice the size.
I pay the cab driver and get out of the car, moving into the crowd of people lining up at the door. It’ll be better if I’m in with them, because he’s less likely to see me. As I move towards the front of the line, I stare at the massive black deck to the left. It’s filled with people, chatting and laughing. This club is nothing like it was before. It’s so much better. Max has done an incredible job.
I flash my I.D. to the bouncer and he studies me curiously for a moment. My heart picks up a few beats because I still have Max’s last name, and I wonder if he notices. He shrugs and lets me through after a few seconds. The moment I step inside, I gasp. This is definitely not what I remember. What were once wooden floors, a chunky wooden bar and red booths are now sleek black bars, black and silver polished floors, gorgeous big booths and a massive open dance floor. Someone from behind me shoves me through and I stumble forward.
She shrugs. “Y-y-y-yeah, maybe.”
I lean back again, but I keep my eyes on her face. “I could use another friend.”
Her brows go up. “I thought the entire school population were your friends?”
I stare out at the ocean. “You know, you’re the first person I’ve had a decent conversation with in such a long time. I forget the last one I had. I might be surrounded by people, Blue Belle, but none of them know me.”
She fully turns to me, her eyes wide and shocked. “I could never imagine how having that many people around could actually make you lonelier. I’d kill for so many people to talk to.”
“And yet those people don’t really want to talk to you; they just want to be seen with a status symbol.”
She nods, studying my face.
“Max?”
We both flinch and I turn to see Demi storming—well stumbling—across the beach. I stand, looking down at Belle. “I should go.”
She tears her eyes from Demi and looks up at me. “Okay.”
It comes out as a whisper. Fuck. I want nothing more than to stay with her, but I know Demi will just pitch a fit, and it’ll only make this amazing conversation shitty.
I turn and walk towards Demi, but stop after a few steps and look back over my shoulder. “Hey, Blue Belle?”
She looks up at me.
“Does this mean we’re friends?”
She smiles.
Fuck yeah.
CHAPTER FOUR
NOW – ANABELLE
I can’t stop thinking about Max.
It’s been two weeks since he came past, and in that time I’ve thought of nothing else. I keep repeating his words over and over in my head. The more I think of it, the more I wonder if I should just go and see him. How can I possibly judge if he’s fit to be in Immy’s life if I’ve not even gone to find out for myself? That’s selfish, and I can’t afford to be selfish with her.
What will she think of me if she grows up not knowing her father because I was too scared to introduce them?
So I’ve come to a decision. Tonight I’m going to the House Of Obsidian. I’m going to go and check things out behind the scenes. I don’t want to make a big deal of it; I don’t even know if I’ll talk to Max. I just want to see the kind of life he’s living. I need to judge with my own eyes, and so that’s what I’m going to do.
I am sick to my stomach at the very idea.
Seeing Max again isn’t something I’m overly sure I can handle, but I’ve made the choice and I’m not backing down. Tina will be over any minute to look after Immy and I’m standing in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection, wondering if I need to wipe my make up off, or if I need to apply more. Why should it even matter? He’s not going to see me. I’m just going to check things out.
Right?
“There you are!”
I jump with a squeal and see Pippa standing in the doorway to my bedroom. She’s got the cutest pair of grey cotton shorts on, and her top has a giant, pink kitty on it. Only Pippa could make those kinds of things look amazing. Her blonde hair is thrown over one shoulder and she’s smiling at me, always smiling.
“Sorry.” She laughs. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I press a hand to my heart. “Sorry, I was off in my own little world.”
She studies me. “You look gorgeous. Where are you going?”
“I’m . . .” I hesitate. “Going to see Max.”
Her eyes get big. “You are?” she breathes. “Why?”
I tell her how I’ve been feeling, and she listens the entire time, nodding softly every now and then. “I understand,” she says when I stop talking. “And I think you’re doing a really brave thing.”
I let out a long, draining sigh. “I hope so, Pip, because it doesn’t feel like it right now.”
She walks in and hugs me. “You’re making the right choice,” she reassures me. “Trust me.”
“Hey ladies.”
We pull apart and look to see Tina standing in the doorway. She looks a good deal like me; only her hair is blond instead of strawberry blond like mine. We have the same build, the same curves and the same eyes. Mom always said we should have been twins, because we’re so scarily similar. Even our personalities can tend to be the same. Though Tina can be feistier than me when she wants.
“Hey Tina.” I smile, walking over and hugging her. “Thanks for doing this.”
She waves a hand. “Anything to get you out and about.”
Pippa and I give each other a quick look, and I hope she understands that I haven’t told Tina the truth. She isn’t Max’s biggest fan, and if it were up to her, she’d never want me to see him again. Not that I can blame her; hell, it was because of him I moved away and left everything behind. I shut down, switched off, and it took years for me to start bonding with my family again, even though they’d done nothing wrong.
“Well,” I say, breaking the silence, “I’m going to get going. Tina, give me a call if Immy needs anything.”
She waves a hand. “Nonsense, we’ll be fine. Enjoy.”
I give them a quick wave and then rush into the living area to grab my heels and purse. I double-check myself in the mirror on the way out, decide it’ll do, and then rush out the door. I take a cab, just for safety’s sake. I’ll probably have a drink, purely because I’m so nervous I want to vomit. He won’t see me. He won’t. I’m just going there to see what is going on in his life. That’s all. It’s that simple.
Yeah, right. Nothing’s that simple.
I have already ordered a cab, so I jump in when it arrives five minutes later. I fidget in my tight black dress, wondering if it’s too much. What if it’s just a casual club now? It’s been so long since I’ve seen it. Pippa told me that it’s quite a nice place, so I went with my gut and decided to dress as if I was going for a night on the town.
I pull out my phone and try to glance at my reflection on the screen, but I can’t see anything. I left my strawberry-blond hair down, but I’m starting to wonder if that was a bad idea. I already stand out in a crowd as it is. Max would never miss my hair.
He loved it.
Once.
The cab driver arrives twenty minutes later at a massive club. I stare out at it, confused. This . . . this isn’t what I remember. I glance up at the massive silver sign and it definitely says House Of Obsidian. I have vague memories of the club, and it was always nice but never this flash. Max’s dad struggled to keep the funds up to it, but this club is pristine, buzzing with people, and twice the size.
I pay the cab driver and get out of the car, moving into the crowd of people lining up at the door. It’ll be better if I’m in with them, because he’s less likely to see me. As I move towards the front of the line, I stare at the massive black deck to the left. It’s filled with people, chatting and laughing. This club is nothing like it was before. It’s so much better. Max has done an incredible job.
I flash my I.D. to the bouncer and he studies me curiously for a moment. My heart picks up a few beats because I still have Max’s last name, and I wonder if he notices. He shrugs and lets me through after a few seconds. The moment I step inside, I gasp. This is definitely not what I remember. What were once wooden floors, a chunky wooden bar and red booths are now sleek black bars, black and silver polished floors, gorgeous big booths and a massive open dance floor. Someone from behind me shoves me through and I stumble forward.
