Flutter
Page 17
“Maybe.” Abruptly he pulled on the tee shirt and stood up. “I should go after him.”
“What? Why?” I asked. “
“I don’t know!” He sounded exasperated and rubbed his temples. “It just doesn’t feel right! Sitting here, with you, while he’s out there.”
“I agree with your sentiments, except for that random dig at me,” I said.
“Oh, come on, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that I should be out there, with Ezra!”
“And not sitting around acting like me,” I finished for him.
“Being impossible doesn’t make me want to be around you more,” he said, casting me a look.
“Who says I want you to be around me?”
“Why are you here?” Peter asked honestly, looking at me.
“Um, well…” I stammered. “Ezra told us that you were in trouble, and um… I offered to go with.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you’re here,” he said, sitting back on the bed.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You can’t still care about me.”
“Of course I do. Not like before, but I still care,” I said. Then I floundered, feeling embarrassed. “I mean, don’t you? Like… a little bit?”
“I don’t know that we were ever truly bonded anyway,” Peter answered brusquely, ignoring my question entirely.
It was such a ridiculous statement, like saying that the sky was purple, I didn’t even know how to argue with it. There was no other way to describe what we had gone through together, and he knew it.
“Why did you come out here then?” I asked.
“I like Finland.”
“Yeah, right.” The blanket slipped off my shoulder, and I readjusted it. “You came out here to join a crazed pack of vampires cause you like Finland? That sounds a lot more like you were trying to get yourself killed.”
“Why would I wanna do that? Over you?” He stood up quickly, smirking down at me. “That’s what you think, right? That I couldn’t possibly live without you? That’s a little bit of an ego trip you’re on, isn’t it?”
“Well… no… that’s not what…” I stammered out some kind of response, then I straightened my shoulders. “After you lost Elise you almost-”
“Don’t talk to me about Elise!”
“Peter, I am just trying to help you! I don’t know why you’re so angry with me for that,” I said.
“This is you helping?” Peter laughed darkly.
“How do you want me to help? What do you want me to do?” I shouted at him, frustrated.
“I want you to-” He looked pained and surprisingly vulnerable, but he stopped and shook his head. His face fell, and he sat heavily back on the bed. “I don’t want anything from you. Not anymore.”
- 9 -
On the night stand, my phone started ringing. The tone was familiar to both of us, and Peter eyed up my phone with disgust. It was Jack calling, and since I didn’t really have anything helpful to tell him, I didn’t want to answer.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Peter asked.
“Not right now. I’m busy.”
“Doesn’t he have you on some kind of string?” he asked pointedly after the ringing stopped.
“You mean like you did?” I gave him a harsh look, but he stared back at me, unaffected.
“Yeah, I do,” he nodded. “If I had called you before, you would’ve answered no matter what you were doing. It just seems odd to me that if you’re bonded-”
“That I’m capable of still thinking for myself?” I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I still can. And I did with you too, otherwise I never would’ve been able to be with Jack.” His eyes flashed hard again. “But I thought you said we weren’t really bonded anyway.”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“Why did you come here?” I asked gently, attempting to really talk to him. “If it wasn’t because of what happened-”
“Of course it was because of what happened,” he sighed. “Of course it was because of you.” He looked back up at me, his eyes uncertain and exposed. “Is that what you want to hear?”
“I don’t want anything from you except the truth”
“Everything with you has always been so complicated.” Peter ran a hand through his dark hair, which looked amazingly silky after the shower.
He chewed his lip and stared off at my empty bed. He would’ve said more if my phone hadn’t started ringing again, and I had to do something about it. If Jack called repeatedly in a short time, that meant that he wants something. Or that something was wrong. Either way, I didn’t feel right about just letting it ring.
“I should get that.”
“Don’t let me stop you,” Peter said, but his expression had gone stony.
I had barely even hit the answer button when I heard Jack yelling anxiously, “What the hell have you been doing, Alice? Are you okay? What’s going on? I’ve been trying to reach you for days!”
“I’ve been busy, Jack.” I tried to sound irritated. My heart ached for him, but with Peter sitting on the bed behind me, I didn’t want to show it. “We’ve been looking for Peter. Remember?”
“Why can’t you call? Or answer a text message? Or let me know that you’re still alive?” Jack demanded.
“I’m sorry.” I swallowed back tears, and Peter got up off the bed. “Where are you going?”
“What? I’m not going anywhere?” Jack was bewildered on the phone.
“No, not you,” I told him and nodded at Peter. “What are you doing?”
“Going to the bathroom. Is that okay with you?” Peter tried to make a joke, but I could tell that he was distressed.
“Yeah. Just don’t leave the room, okay?” I didn’t really trust him not to sneak away.
“Whatever you say.” Peter saluted me, then went into the bathroom. A few seconds later, I heard the water running, drowning out the sound of me talking to Jack.
“Who is that?” Jack’s voice had gotten icy, so he knew exactly who it was.
“Peter.” I sat down on the bed, thankful for the bit of privacy.
“What? Why?” I asked. “
“I don’t know!” He sounded exasperated and rubbed his temples. “It just doesn’t feel right! Sitting here, with you, while he’s out there.”
“I agree with your sentiments, except for that random dig at me,” I said.
“Oh, come on, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that I should be out there, with Ezra!”
“And not sitting around acting like me,” I finished for him.
“Being impossible doesn’t make me want to be around you more,” he said, casting me a look.
“Who says I want you to be around me?”
“Why are you here?” Peter asked honestly, looking at me.
“Um, well…” I stammered. “Ezra told us that you were in trouble, and um… I offered to go with.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you’re here,” he said, sitting back on the bed.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You can’t still care about me.”
“Of course I do. Not like before, but I still care,” I said. Then I floundered, feeling embarrassed. “I mean, don’t you? Like… a little bit?”
“I don’t know that we were ever truly bonded anyway,” Peter answered brusquely, ignoring my question entirely.
It was such a ridiculous statement, like saying that the sky was purple, I didn’t even know how to argue with it. There was no other way to describe what we had gone through together, and he knew it.
“Why did you come out here then?” I asked.
“I like Finland.”
“Yeah, right.” The blanket slipped off my shoulder, and I readjusted it. “You came out here to join a crazed pack of vampires cause you like Finland? That sounds a lot more like you were trying to get yourself killed.”
“Why would I wanna do that? Over you?” He stood up quickly, smirking down at me. “That’s what you think, right? That I couldn’t possibly live without you? That’s a little bit of an ego trip you’re on, isn’t it?”
“Well… no… that’s not what…” I stammered out some kind of response, then I straightened my shoulders. “After you lost Elise you almost-”
“Don’t talk to me about Elise!”
“Peter, I am just trying to help you! I don’t know why you’re so angry with me for that,” I said.
“This is you helping?” Peter laughed darkly.
“How do you want me to help? What do you want me to do?” I shouted at him, frustrated.
“I want you to-” He looked pained and surprisingly vulnerable, but he stopped and shook his head. His face fell, and he sat heavily back on the bed. “I don’t want anything from you. Not anymore.”
- 9 -
On the night stand, my phone started ringing. The tone was familiar to both of us, and Peter eyed up my phone with disgust. It was Jack calling, and since I didn’t really have anything helpful to tell him, I didn’t want to answer.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Peter asked.
“Not right now. I’m busy.”
“Doesn’t he have you on some kind of string?” he asked pointedly after the ringing stopped.
“You mean like you did?” I gave him a harsh look, but he stared back at me, unaffected.
“Yeah, I do,” he nodded. “If I had called you before, you would’ve answered no matter what you were doing. It just seems odd to me that if you’re bonded-”
“That I’m capable of still thinking for myself?” I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I still can. And I did with you too, otherwise I never would’ve been able to be with Jack.” His eyes flashed hard again. “But I thought you said we weren’t really bonded anyway.”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“Why did you come here?” I asked gently, attempting to really talk to him. “If it wasn’t because of what happened-”
“Of course it was because of what happened,” he sighed. “Of course it was because of you.” He looked back up at me, his eyes uncertain and exposed. “Is that what you want to hear?”
“I don’t want anything from you except the truth”
“Everything with you has always been so complicated.” Peter ran a hand through his dark hair, which looked amazingly silky after the shower.
He chewed his lip and stared off at my empty bed. He would’ve said more if my phone hadn’t started ringing again, and I had to do something about it. If Jack called repeatedly in a short time, that meant that he wants something. Or that something was wrong. Either way, I didn’t feel right about just letting it ring.
“I should get that.”
“Don’t let me stop you,” Peter said, but his expression had gone stony.
I had barely even hit the answer button when I heard Jack yelling anxiously, “What the hell have you been doing, Alice? Are you okay? What’s going on? I’ve been trying to reach you for days!”
“I’ve been busy, Jack.” I tried to sound irritated. My heart ached for him, but with Peter sitting on the bed behind me, I didn’t want to show it. “We’ve been looking for Peter. Remember?”
“Why can’t you call? Or answer a text message? Or let me know that you’re still alive?” Jack demanded.
“I’m sorry.” I swallowed back tears, and Peter got up off the bed. “Where are you going?”
“What? I’m not going anywhere?” Jack was bewildered on the phone.
“No, not you,” I told him and nodded at Peter. “What are you doing?”
“Going to the bathroom. Is that okay with you?” Peter tried to make a joke, but I could tell that he was distressed.
“Yeah. Just don’t leave the room, okay?” I didn’t really trust him not to sneak away.
“Whatever you say.” Peter saluted me, then went into the bathroom. A few seconds later, I heard the water running, drowning out the sound of me talking to Jack.
“Who is that?” Jack’s voice had gotten icy, so he knew exactly who it was.
“Peter.” I sat down on the bed, thankful for the bit of privacy.
