Flutter
Page 33
“He’s sixteen! What does he know about love?” I don’t know why that was my go-to argument, and it was Bobby’s turn to think that I was hypocrite. “Okay, yeah, I get that I’m not much older than Milo, but…”
“You understand where we’re coming from,” Bobby said with a wry smile, and I shook my head, unwilling to admit defeat. “The situation is difficult, but the heart wants what it wants.”
“What a stupid thing to say,” I scoffed. “My stomach wants what it wants, too, but you don’t see me ripping out your throat to get it, Bobby.” He shrugged, unfazed by my veiled threat, and I wasn’t sure if it made me hate Bobby more or less. “What is that about?”
“What?”
“You’re like twenty-one, and people call you Bobby. Isn’t that a little boy name?” I wrinkled my nose, and he laughed.
“People called Robert Kennedy ‘Bobby’ his entire life.”
“And look at how well that turned out for him,” I countered, referring to his untimely assassination.
“Maybe. But my name actually is ‘Bobby,’ not ‘Robert’ or ‘Bob’ or anything,” he shrugged. “So it’s just what I go by, since it is legally my name.”
“Was your mother like a hippie or something?” I asked.
“Something like that.”
“Okay, so fine, you and my brother are crazy in love,” I said, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth just playing devil’s advocate. “Let’s say that I buy that. How did you two meet? And how did you come to know our particular lifestyle?”
Lifestyle wasn’t exactly the right word, because it implied that there was a choice in this. I had chosen to become a vampire, but I could never choose not to be one, not unless I died. Even then, I’d just be a dead vampire.
“Um… well…” Bobby fidgeted with the zipper on his hoodie. “I used to frequent the gay clubs, especially right after I turned 18. I wasn’t a slut, exactly, but I wasn’t… not a slut, either.
“One of the gentlemen pursuing me turned out to be a vampire. We ‘dated’ for awhile, but I’m using the term loosely. We’d just fool around, and he’d bite me. But it took some time before I figured out what was going on. I mean, even after I realized that he was physically biting me, it was still a hard concept to buy that he was a vampire.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said. The supernatural could be a very hard pill to swallow. Sometimes, I still found it hard to believe in vampires, and I was one.
“I was never a bloodwhore,” Bobby said quickly. “I did like the way it felt, being bitten.” He looked at me. “You’ve been bitten, right?”
“Only twice.”
“It’s pretty wonderful,” he smiled. “But it’s even better when you’re in love. All their feelings rush over you, and if the guy biting you is a douche bag, it can feel pretty dirty and terrible, even when it feels so good.”
That was exactly why Ezra had been in such horrible shape in Finland, but I wasn’t eager to think of that, so I nodded for Bobby to continue.
“Anyway, I started hanging out around V, looking for vampires, and then I met Milo.” Bobby looked at the ground. “It was like love at first sight. That sounds like a line, but it’s true.”
“So you just saw him, and that was it?” I asked.
“Pretty much. He just walked over to me and we started dancing, and kissing, and talking, and we’ve been together ever since.” Bobby smiled wider. “Milo’s a pretty great guy.”
He ran his hands through his hair, trying to smooth out his side bangs. His dark eyes had that weird wistful quality to them and his cheeks were reddening lightly, so I knew he was thinking about Milo. I didn’t doubt that he really did care about my brother, but I just couldn’t seem to like him.
Well, that wasn’t even it exactly. I actually did kinda like Bobby, or I was starting to at least. I studied him closely, trying to figure out what about him was really bothering me. Was it just that he was Milo’s boyfriend and I wouldn’t like anybody he dated?
That’s when it finally dawned on me. I didn’t like Bobby because I didn’t like him. My first reaction to him had been suspicion. That had just been because I was surprised he was human, and I was protective of Milo. Dislike was perfectly reasonable, but I shouldn’t have been able to feel that way. Not if Milo and Bobby were really supposed to be together, the way my blood had been meant for Peter.
The reason everything had gotten so complicated with Jack and Peter was because of how fluid the bond is. Jack, Peter, and Ezra, and now Milo and I, were held together by a similar blood bond.
Milo and I were especially bonded because we were siblings in real life as well as in vampires. That meant I should have a great affinity for whoever he was bonded with. It would be impossible for me to hate who he was meant for, and yet, I had instantly disliked Bobby.
I understood transference in all of this. I had broken my bond with Peter, and I knew that love could be stronger than blood. But that probably wasn’t the case with Bobby. He was just a nice guy that Milo would be into for awhile, but not forever.
I suddenly felt sorry for Bobby, because, Milo would break his heart. Not the other way around.
“And you don’t have to worry about us,” Bobby was saying, drawing me from my thoughts. He tired of trying to straighten out his hair and flipped up the hood of his sweater. I hadn’t really been listening to him, so I just stared, hoping he would elaborate. “I mean, Milo, I guess. He’s not like that guy Jane was with, and I’m not like her, either. That’s not our thing.”
“No, I get that,” I nodded. Maybe at first the idea had crossed my mind, but I didn’t think so anymore.
“I understand the appeal of her lifestyle. It’s something that you can fall into pretty easily.” Bobby twisted the drawstring to his hood around and looked at the ground.
I had a feeling that despite all his protests, it was a lifestyle that Bobby had come precariously close to getting into, and when things ended with Milo, there was an even greater chance that that’s how he would end up. Thanks to Milo, he’d be even more hooked on the feel of being bitten.
“So, you know what it’s like, probably better than anyone in the house.” I leaned across the island, looking at him more intently. “You get where Jane is coming from. If the situation were reversed, if you were a bloodwhore, what could somebody say to get you to stop?”
“You understand where we’re coming from,” Bobby said with a wry smile, and I shook my head, unwilling to admit defeat. “The situation is difficult, but the heart wants what it wants.”
“What a stupid thing to say,” I scoffed. “My stomach wants what it wants, too, but you don’t see me ripping out your throat to get it, Bobby.” He shrugged, unfazed by my veiled threat, and I wasn’t sure if it made me hate Bobby more or less. “What is that about?”
“What?”
“You’re like twenty-one, and people call you Bobby. Isn’t that a little boy name?” I wrinkled my nose, and he laughed.
“People called Robert Kennedy ‘Bobby’ his entire life.”
“And look at how well that turned out for him,” I countered, referring to his untimely assassination.
“Maybe. But my name actually is ‘Bobby,’ not ‘Robert’ or ‘Bob’ or anything,” he shrugged. “So it’s just what I go by, since it is legally my name.”
“Was your mother like a hippie or something?” I asked.
“Something like that.”
“Okay, so fine, you and my brother are crazy in love,” I said, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth just playing devil’s advocate. “Let’s say that I buy that. How did you two meet? And how did you come to know our particular lifestyle?”
Lifestyle wasn’t exactly the right word, because it implied that there was a choice in this. I had chosen to become a vampire, but I could never choose not to be one, not unless I died. Even then, I’d just be a dead vampire.
“Um… well…” Bobby fidgeted with the zipper on his hoodie. “I used to frequent the gay clubs, especially right after I turned 18. I wasn’t a slut, exactly, but I wasn’t… not a slut, either.
“One of the gentlemen pursuing me turned out to be a vampire. We ‘dated’ for awhile, but I’m using the term loosely. We’d just fool around, and he’d bite me. But it took some time before I figured out what was going on. I mean, even after I realized that he was physically biting me, it was still a hard concept to buy that he was a vampire.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said. The supernatural could be a very hard pill to swallow. Sometimes, I still found it hard to believe in vampires, and I was one.
“I was never a bloodwhore,” Bobby said quickly. “I did like the way it felt, being bitten.” He looked at me. “You’ve been bitten, right?”
“Only twice.”
“It’s pretty wonderful,” he smiled. “But it’s even better when you’re in love. All their feelings rush over you, and if the guy biting you is a douche bag, it can feel pretty dirty and terrible, even when it feels so good.”
That was exactly why Ezra had been in such horrible shape in Finland, but I wasn’t eager to think of that, so I nodded for Bobby to continue.
“Anyway, I started hanging out around V, looking for vampires, and then I met Milo.” Bobby looked at the ground. “It was like love at first sight. That sounds like a line, but it’s true.”
“So you just saw him, and that was it?” I asked.
“Pretty much. He just walked over to me and we started dancing, and kissing, and talking, and we’ve been together ever since.” Bobby smiled wider. “Milo’s a pretty great guy.”
He ran his hands through his hair, trying to smooth out his side bangs. His dark eyes had that weird wistful quality to them and his cheeks were reddening lightly, so I knew he was thinking about Milo. I didn’t doubt that he really did care about my brother, but I just couldn’t seem to like him.
Well, that wasn’t even it exactly. I actually did kinda like Bobby, or I was starting to at least. I studied him closely, trying to figure out what about him was really bothering me. Was it just that he was Milo’s boyfriend and I wouldn’t like anybody he dated?
That’s when it finally dawned on me. I didn’t like Bobby because I didn’t like him. My first reaction to him had been suspicion. That had just been because I was surprised he was human, and I was protective of Milo. Dislike was perfectly reasonable, but I shouldn’t have been able to feel that way. Not if Milo and Bobby were really supposed to be together, the way my blood had been meant for Peter.
The reason everything had gotten so complicated with Jack and Peter was because of how fluid the bond is. Jack, Peter, and Ezra, and now Milo and I, were held together by a similar blood bond.
Milo and I were especially bonded because we were siblings in real life as well as in vampires. That meant I should have a great affinity for whoever he was bonded with. It would be impossible for me to hate who he was meant for, and yet, I had instantly disliked Bobby.
I understood transference in all of this. I had broken my bond with Peter, and I knew that love could be stronger than blood. But that probably wasn’t the case with Bobby. He was just a nice guy that Milo would be into for awhile, but not forever.
I suddenly felt sorry for Bobby, because, Milo would break his heart. Not the other way around.
“And you don’t have to worry about us,” Bobby was saying, drawing me from my thoughts. He tired of trying to straighten out his hair and flipped up the hood of his sweater. I hadn’t really been listening to him, so I just stared, hoping he would elaborate. “I mean, Milo, I guess. He’s not like that guy Jane was with, and I’m not like her, either. That’s not our thing.”
“No, I get that,” I nodded. Maybe at first the idea had crossed my mind, but I didn’t think so anymore.
“I understand the appeal of her lifestyle. It’s something that you can fall into pretty easily.” Bobby twisted the drawstring to his hood around and looked at the ground.
I had a feeling that despite all his protests, it was a lifestyle that Bobby had come precariously close to getting into, and when things ended with Milo, there was an even greater chance that that’s how he would end up. Thanks to Milo, he’d be even more hooked on the feel of being bitten.
“So, you know what it’s like, probably better than anyone in the house.” I leaned across the island, looking at him more intently. “You get where Jane is coming from. If the situation were reversed, if you were a bloodwhore, what could somebody say to get you to stop?”
