Flutter
Page 39
“So then comfort her! Don’t yell at her!” I told him, still in shock over how icy he had been to her.
“No, it’s alright, Alice,” Mae said wearily and shook her head. “I knew what I was going to get from him. Ezra is many things, but he is predictable above all else.” Sighing, she got to her feet. She wiped the tears from her face and tried to smooth out her hair. When she had composed herself a bit, she turned to look at him. “I will do what I have to do.”
“I understand that, but you will not do it in my house,” he said.
“I know.” She nodded once, and then turned and walked back to her room.
For a moment after she left, I stood and tried to catch my breath. I had never seen the two of them fight about anything before, let alone something as intense as this.
I knew that Ezra was right, that turning a child into a vampire was an impossible idea, but I knew how desperate Mae was to do anything to protect her family.
Finally, Ezra started to move, picking up the pieces of broken glass of the floor, and I went over to join him.
“You were too cold with her,” I said, picking up a large chunk of glass.
My hair was still dripping cold water down my back, and I tucked it behind my ears. Part of me felt nervous at the thought of contradicting Ezra about something like this, but he had no reason to be that cruel.
“She wouldn’t have listened to anything else. She’s been pleading me with since she found out about the child being ill, and I decided that being forthright was the best avenue to take.” Ezra was incredibly tired, and I wasn’t sure if he was over what the lycan had done to him yet.
“Why is she pleading with you?” I asked. “I mean, if this is what she wants, then why doesn’t she just do it herself? Why does she need your permission?”
“She’s never turned anyone before, and she’s afraid to, especially with a child so young. She thinks she’ll do it wrong somehow, even though there is no real wrong way.”
He picked up most of the large pieces of glass, everything that we could get without a broom, so he stood up and tossed the broken bits into the fireplace. Since he had done it, I followed suit and threw what I had picked up into the fireplace.
“So is she going to do it if you don’t?” I asked.
“I honestly don’t know.” His normal booming voice sounded defeated. “She wasn’t really asking my permission, either. She knows my stand on it. If she turns the child, I will not be with her. I won’t go through that heartache. Neither of them would survive it, not for long. Child vampires never do.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
The youngest vampire I had met had been Violet, and she was fourteen. I couldn’t imagine what one would be like younger than that. Would they look older too, the way that Milo and Violet both looked about nineteen?
“They go insane, or they’re killed,” Ezra said simply. “They learn but can’t mature. They get old but can’t grow. They get impulses they can’t control. They’re volatile and strong and never really understand the consequences of their actions. Other vampires don’t like having them around, and they don’t like being alive.
“It never ends well.” He ran a hand through this blond hair and breathed in deeply. “And if Mae were to change her, to get even more attached to the child than she already was, she would either die trying to protect her, or kill herself after the child died. And I have no interest in being a part of that.”
“And Mae doesn’t see that?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. She was too blinded by her love for her family to see any rational thought. Her only concern was keeping the girl around for another day, at any cost.
“No.” He gave me a sad smile. “She mistakenly believes that I can do anything. But I can’t this time.” His expression was far away. “I cannot save the child. There is only one type of death versus another. The child will suffer and then die, either way. But Mae cannot accept that.”
“Are you going to go talk to her? Maybe you can help her accept this. I mean, she’s just going through the seven stages of grief, and it sounds like she’s at bargaining,” I said.
“Maybe, but unfortunately, she actually has something to bargain with. Most people have no other recourse, but Mae does. Would anyone really move past bargaining if God would actually talk to them and listen to their pleas?”
“Did you just compare yourself to God?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Accidentally,” he admitted, looking disgusted at his own choice of words. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to. But I don’t think I have anything to say that can help Mae through this.” He sighed heavily. “But… my clothes are in the room, and I should get dressed.”
“Are you two going to split up?” I was surprised how nervous I sounded, but really, they were the only stable couple I had ever met. And if they split up, what hope did the rest of us have?
“I will stay with her as long as she’ll have me, and as long as she doesn’t turn the child,” he said, but that was the kind of answer people gave when they weren’t ready to tell the kids they were breaking up.
I started to think that maybe it was only a matter of time before things ended between them, and that was terrifying. I loved them both, and I couldn’t imagine a life where they weren’t both in it.
Ezra went down to his room. For someone who was completely obsessed with the idea of family, I couldn’t believe how rigid he was being with Mae. He was right about not turning her granddaughter, I’m sure, but he was inflexible when talking to her. He had been willing to die to save Peter, but he wouldn’t allow the same irrational passion in her.
Maybe it was because this was his way of protecting the family. If she did this, it would certainly devastate everything around her, himself included. I don’t know what would happen to our family unit. If we would split up between them, like children of divorce, or… I don’t know.
It was strange, because even though I knew I was going to live a very long time, I somehow had expected that everything would stay the same forever. Ezra had once told me that everyone I know would die, and that I would outlast everything. But I had never believed that I would outlast this family.
- 19 -
When Milo and Jack finally came back from their blood run, I told them about the fight. Milo went to talk some sense into Mae, and we let him. Jack still invited Peter to watch a movie with us, but after all the drama, we decided to watch something lighter than an epic British mini-series. So we went with the opposite and put in Futurama.
“No, it’s alright, Alice,” Mae said wearily and shook her head. “I knew what I was going to get from him. Ezra is many things, but he is predictable above all else.” Sighing, she got to her feet. She wiped the tears from her face and tried to smooth out her hair. When she had composed herself a bit, she turned to look at him. “I will do what I have to do.”
“I understand that, but you will not do it in my house,” he said.
“I know.” She nodded once, and then turned and walked back to her room.
For a moment after she left, I stood and tried to catch my breath. I had never seen the two of them fight about anything before, let alone something as intense as this.
I knew that Ezra was right, that turning a child into a vampire was an impossible idea, but I knew how desperate Mae was to do anything to protect her family.
Finally, Ezra started to move, picking up the pieces of broken glass of the floor, and I went over to join him.
“You were too cold with her,” I said, picking up a large chunk of glass.
My hair was still dripping cold water down my back, and I tucked it behind my ears. Part of me felt nervous at the thought of contradicting Ezra about something like this, but he had no reason to be that cruel.
“She wouldn’t have listened to anything else. She’s been pleading me with since she found out about the child being ill, and I decided that being forthright was the best avenue to take.” Ezra was incredibly tired, and I wasn’t sure if he was over what the lycan had done to him yet.
“Why is she pleading with you?” I asked. “I mean, if this is what she wants, then why doesn’t she just do it herself? Why does she need your permission?”
“She’s never turned anyone before, and she’s afraid to, especially with a child so young. She thinks she’ll do it wrong somehow, even though there is no real wrong way.”
He picked up most of the large pieces of glass, everything that we could get without a broom, so he stood up and tossed the broken bits into the fireplace. Since he had done it, I followed suit and threw what I had picked up into the fireplace.
“So is she going to do it if you don’t?” I asked.
“I honestly don’t know.” His normal booming voice sounded defeated. “She wasn’t really asking my permission, either. She knows my stand on it. If she turns the child, I will not be with her. I won’t go through that heartache. Neither of them would survive it, not for long. Child vampires never do.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
The youngest vampire I had met had been Violet, and she was fourteen. I couldn’t imagine what one would be like younger than that. Would they look older too, the way that Milo and Violet both looked about nineteen?
“They go insane, or they’re killed,” Ezra said simply. “They learn but can’t mature. They get old but can’t grow. They get impulses they can’t control. They’re volatile and strong and never really understand the consequences of their actions. Other vampires don’t like having them around, and they don’t like being alive.
“It never ends well.” He ran a hand through this blond hair and breathed in deeply. “And if Mae were to change her, to get even more attached to the child than she already was, she would either die trying to protect her, or kill herself after the child died. And I have no interest in being a part of that.”
“And Mae doesn’t see that?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. She was too blinded by her love for her family to see any rational thought. Her only concern was keeping the girl around for another day, at any cost.
“No.” He gave me a sad smile. “She mistakenly believes that I can do anything. But I can’t this time.” His expression was far away. “I cannot save the child. There is only one type of death versus another. The child will suffer and then die, either way. But Mae cannot accept that.”
“Are you going to go talk to her? Maybe you can help her accept this. I mean, she’s just going through the seven stages of grief, and it sounds like she’s at bargaining,” I said.
“Maybe, but unfortunately, she actually has something to bargain with. Most people have no other recourse, but Mae does. Would anyone really move past bargaining if God would actually talk to them and listen to their pleas?”
“Did you just compare yourself to God?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Accidentally,” he admitted, looking disgusted at his own choice of words. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to. But I don’t think I have anything to say that can help Mae through this.” He sighed heavily. “But… my clothes are in the room, and I should get dressed.”
“Are you two going to split up?” I was surprised how nervous I sounded, but really, they were the only stable couple I had ever met. And if they split up, what hope did the rest of us have?
“I will stay with her as long as she’ll have me, and as long as she doesn’t turn the child,” he said, but that was the kind of answer people gave when they weren’t ready to tell the kids they were breaking up.
I started to think that maybe it was only a matter of time before things ended between them, and that was terrifying. I loved them both, and I couldn’t imagine a life where they weren’t both in it.
Ezra went down to his room. For someone who was completely obsessed with the idea of family, I couldn’t believe how rigid he was being with Mae. He was right about not turning her granddaughter, I’m sure, but he was inflexible when talking to her. He had been willing to die to save Peter, but he wouldn’t allow the same irrational passion in her.
Maybe it was because this was his way of protecting the family. If she did this, it would certainly devastate everything around her, himself included. I don’t know what would happen to our family unit. If we would split up between them, like children of divorce, or… I don’t know.
It was strange, because even though I knew I was going to live a very long time, I somehow had expected that everything would stay the same forever. Ezra had once told me that everyone I know would die, and that I would outlast everything. But I had never believed that I would outlast this family.
- 19 -
When Milo and Jack finally came back from their blood run, I told them about the fight. Milo went to talk some sense into Mae, and we let him. Jack still invited Peter to watch a movie with us, but after all the drama, we decided to watch something lighter than an epic British mini-series. So we went with the opposite and put in Futurama.
