For I Have Sinned
Page 7
I watched the smoke of his exit dissipate then turned to Charley. “He was there when you were born?”
“Yep. Long story.”
I chuckled. “The life you must have had. And you share Melody’s birthday.”
“I do, don’t I?”
“Is she talking to you?” my father asked Charley, clearly having heard her whispers. He looked amused.
Charley laughed. “Yes, she is. Just bursting with things to say.” She glanced up at him and smiled. He smiled back, moving closer to stare down at my child.
“Can you tell them something for me?” I asked.
Charley nodded and waited for me to speak.
“Can you tell them thank you for everything? Just...” I couldn’t seem to say anything else. My throat closed when I thought about all the things they’d done for me, all the sacrifices they’d made. I hadn’t actually committed suicide. Not really. I’d sacrificed myself for another. Relief flooded through me with that knowledge. And my parents had forgiven me, indulged me this one great desire I’d had in life and my need to fulfill it. Now they would be raising my child, showering her with just as much love as they had me. I couldn’t have asked for more.
But, how could I possibly put all of my gratitude in words? Did words as strong as the feelings swirling inside me even exist?
“Yes, thank you, ” I said. I’d made the right choice, and nothing else mattered. “Just thank you.”
“Jo asked me to give you a message should it come to this,” Charley said, her voice a little choked.
My mother gasped and stood beside my father, her eyes searching, craving for any word from me.
“She said, ‘Thank you.’”
Oh, I’d forgotten something. I leaned in and whispered.
Charley laughed. “Oh. And she wanted to make sure you enroll Melody in the finest art schools in the country.”
The smile that commandeered my mother’s face was brilliant. “That’s Jo,” she said, her eyes shimmering with unspent tears. “Always demanding the very best.”
Easing Melody out of Charley’s arms, she hugged Charley and my father at the same time. It made me realize something. “I think I’m ready now,” I said.
Charley turned. Leveling those gold eyes on me, she nodded and waited.
My parents were busy with Melody. It was time. But, I stepped forward and hugged Charley first.
She hugged me back, and it felt liked being wrapped in sunshine. Then, without another thought, I crossed.
The journey was fast. I saw memories and thoughts that were not my own. It took me a moment to realize they were Charley’s, and they were too vast for me to completely comprehend, but I managed to absorb a few. The memory of her mother’s death. What it was like for her in high school, a grim reaper among humans. How she secretly loved children but was convinced she’d never have any. The small and cunningly placed defense mechanisms she incorporated to keep those around her at arm’s length, all because she simply knew too much about betrayal and loss and death.
Also, I saw how she hoped with all her heart that Reyes loved her. Just a little. Just enough to keep her going day in and day out.
Suddenly I was in a place I’d never imagined existed, seeing colors we don’t have on Earth, so vivid they’re blinding. I was feeling warmth that had nothing to do with the weather, a warmth so fine and pure it saturated every molecule of my being. And there, in a place outside of time, I watched my sinfully powerful desire grow up. I watched Melody Jo Anne Montgomery grow up, all the while waiting for the day I’d get to meet her.
What a marvelous day that will be.
“Yep. Long story.”
I chuckled. “The life you must have had. And you share Melody’s birthday.”
“I do, don’t I?”
“Is she talking to you?” my father asked Charley, clearly having heard her whispers. He looked amused.
Charley laughed. “Yes, she is. Just bursting with things to say.” She glanced up at him and smiled. He smiled back, moving closer to stare down at my child.
“Can you tell them something for me?” I asked.
Charley nodded and waited for me to speak.
“Can you tell them thank you for everything? Just...” I couldn’t seem to say anything else. My throat closed when I thought about all the things they’d done for me, all the sacrifices they’d made. I hadn’t actually committed suicide. Not really. I’d sacrificed myself for another. Relief flooded through me with that knowledge. And my parents had forgiven me, indulged me this one great desire I’d had in life and my need to fulfill it. Now they would be raising my child, showering her with just as much love as they had me. I couldn’t have asked for more.
But, how could I possibly put all of my gratitude in words? Did words as strong as the feelings swirling inside me even exist?
“Yes, thank you, ” I said. I’d made the right choice, and nothing else mattered. “Just thank you.”
“Jo asked me to give you a message should it come to this,” Charley said, her voice a little choked.
My mother gasped and stood beside my father, her eyes searching, craving for any word from me.
“She said, ‘Thank you.’”
Oh, I’d forgotten something. I leaned in and whispered.
Charley laughed. “Oh. And she wanted to make sure you enroll Melody in the finest art schools in the country.”
The smile that commandeered my mother’s face was brilliant. “That’s Jo,” she said, her eyes shimmering with unspent tears. “Always demanding the very best.”
Easing Melody out of Charley’s arms, she hugged Charley and my father at the same time. It made me realize something. “I think I’m ready now,” I said.
Charley turned. Leveling those gold eyes on me, she nodded and waited.
My parents were busy with Melody. It was time. But, I stepped forward and hugged Charley first.
She hugged me back, and it felt liked being wrapped in sunshine. Then, without another thought, I crossed.
The journey was fast. I saw memories and thoughts that were not my own. It took me a moment to realize they were Charley’s, and they were too vast for me to completely comprehend, but I managed to absorb a few. The memory of her mother’s death. What it was like for her in high school, a grim reaper among humans. How she secretly loved children but was convinced she’d never have any. The small and cunningly placed defense mechanisms she incorporated to keep those around her at arm’s length, all because she simply knew too much about betrayal and loss and death.
Also, I saw how she hoped with all her heart that Reyes loved her. Just a little. Just enough to keep her going day in and day out.
Suddenly I was in a place I’d never imagined existed, seeing colors we don’t have on Earth, so vivid they’re blinding. I was feeling warmth that had nothing to do with the weather, a warmth so fine and pure it saturated every molecule of my being. And there, in a place outside of time, I watched my sinfully powerful desire grow up. I watched Melody Jo Anne Montgomery grow up, all the while waiting for the day I’d get to meet her.
What a marvelous day that will be.
