Force of Temptation
Page 12
“Nothing has the ability to crush Harley.” Life had thrown a lot at her, but she’d always stood strong in the face of it.
“Bracken’s family might not react well to her presence, considering they’re part of the pack that blamed her for Mia’s addiction. I’m not saying that it should influence any decision you make; I’m just saying you need to be ready for that. And there’s something else you need to think about. I know someone else who lost their true mate as a kid and then tried to imprint on another female. It didn’t work for him for the same reason that it might not work for you.”
“Why wouldn’t it work?”
“If what Bracken and Zander said is true, you walled up after your true mate died, which is only to be expected. But if you want to take Harley as your mate, you’re going to have to drop those protective walls. You need to be prepared to give her all of you or imprinting won’t fully happen. And you have to be sure you can do that before you make her promises and demand a commitment from her.”
“I wouldn’t ask anything of Harley that I wasn’t prepared to give in return.”
Nick rose from the swing. “That doesn’t mean you can do it, especially if you’ll feel guilty on some level about giving all that to her. And according to Bracken, you have a habit of torturing yourself with guilt.”
“That’s bullshit.” For some reason, Bracken had it in his head that Jesse blamed himself for Mia’s death, for not being able to find and save her. “I regret my sister’s death just as I would anyone in my family, and I avenged her death. But do I blame myself? No.” Did he miss having a drug addict hanging around, manipulating, lying to, and stealing from him and their parents—breaking their hearts on a regular basis? No. And if that made him a cold bastard, there wasn’t a lot he could do about it.
“Good,” said Nick. “Guilt has a way of eating people alive.”
As Jesse watched the Alpha walk away, he marveled at how right those words were. Guilt had devoured Mia, sending her on a dark path. He’d always thought it would be the drugs that killed her. Instead, she was kidnapped by extremists and taken to an illegal game preserve, where she was hunted like an animal and then killed. They hadn’t even had a body to bury.
He’d tried to find her and save her, but he’d failed. So he’d settled for getting vengeance by helping Bracken and Zander kill one of the bastards who ran the preserve—it had been an act of vengeance for them too, since they’d also lost family to the extremists. Nick had killed the other male who ran the preserve.
Jesse wished he could say he’d grieved for Mia as intensely as his parents had. Wished he could claim to be scarred by her death like any normal person would be by the loss of a sibling. But he’d lost his sister long before that. Lost her to drugs and alcohol and her chosen path of self-destruction.
When her drug addiction had strongly taken hold, she’d changed dramatically. Become someone he didn’t know or like. Someone selfish and abusive. In some ways, he’d felt sorry for her. After all, who actually wanted to be a junkie? Who actually wanted to be someone who would steal, lie, hurt, manipulate, and cheat as easily as they’d breathe? Surely, no one did.
He’d tried to think of her as a lost and weak-minded person who just needed help. He’d even tried to get her that help—over and over, for that matter. But he’d come to realize that Harley had been right in something she’d once said: you couldn’t help an addict unless they wanted that help. Mia hadn’t.
His soul may not be bleeding with grief, but her death had still deeply affected his life. If she hadn’t gone missing, he wouldn’t be a Mercury wolf right now. He, Bracken, and Zander had only chosen to leave the Sequoia Pack because they’d mistakenly suspected that the Alpha—an asshole of epic proportions—might have had some involvement in the kidnapping of the missing members of their families. Rather than return to their old pack, they had remained with Nick, an Alpha they could truly respect and follow.
None of that would have happened if Mia had just listened to Jesse. He had warned her that shifters were disappearing. He’d warned her to be careful, and if she had just listened to him, she might be alive. Harley would take this shit seriously, and he would ensure that the extremists didn’t take her from him. And if she didn’t like that he was suddenly all up in her business, demanding everything she had to give, too fucking bad.
CHAPTER FOUR
It was the smell of coffee that penetrated her delightfully deep sleep, but it was the sensation of a thumb breezing along her jaw that made Harley snap fully awake. And there was Jesse, staring down at her. His expression would have been as blank as always if it weren’t for the way his eyes glittered with a heat that made her breath catch.
“Morning,” he said simply.
She swallowed. “I take it that’s for me,” she said, referring to the cup he was holding. Then she caught sight of a very noticeable bulge in his jeans. Warmth flooded her cheeks as she realized her words could be taken to mean something else. One corner of his mouth tipped up in amusement.
“It is,” said Jesse.
She sat upright. “Thanks.” Taking the mug, she blew over the rim before taking a sip. He watched her, completely still. She felt awkward and vulnerable having him there while she wasn’t fully alert, especially considering the things he’d said the previous night.
“Sleep well?”
“Bracken’s family might not react well to her presence, considering they’re part of the pack that blamed her for Mia’s addiction. I’m not saying that it should influence any decision you make; I’m just saying you need to be ready for that. And there’s something else you need to think about. I know someone else who lost their true mate as a kid and then tried to imprint on another female. It didn’t work for him for the same reason that it might not work for you.”
“Why wouldn’t it work?”
“If what Bracken and Zander said is true, you walled up after your true mate died, which is only to be expected. But if you want to take Harley as your mate, you’re going to have to drop those protective walls. You need to be prepared to give her all of you or imprinting won’t fully happen. And you have to be sure you can do that before you make her promises and demand a commitment from her.”
“I wouldn’t ask anything of Harley that I wasn’t prepared to give in return.”
Nick rose from the swing. “That doesn’t mean you can do it, especially if you’ll feel guilty on some level about giving all that to her. And according to Bracken, you have a habit of torturing yourself with guilt.”
“That’s bullshit.” For some reason, Bracken had it in his head that Jesse blamed himself for Mia’s death, for not being able to find and save her. “I regret my sister’s death just as I would anyone in my family, and I avenged her death. But do I blame myself? No.” Did he miss having a drug addict hanging around, manipulating, lying to, and stealing from him and their parents—breaking their hearts on a regular basis? No. And if that made him a cold bastard, there wasn’t a lot he could do about it.
“Good,” said Nick. “Guilt has a way of eating people alive.”
As Jesse watched the Alpha walk away, he marveled at how right those words were. Guilt had devoured Mia, sending her on a dark path. He’d always thought it would be the drugs that killed her. Instead, she was kidnapped by extremists and taken to an illegal game preserve, where she was hunted like an animal and then killed. They hadn’t even had a body to bury.
He’d tried to find her and save her, but he’d failed. So he’d settled for getting vengeance by helping Bracken and Zander kill one of the bastards who ran the preserve—it had been an act of vengeance for them too, since they’d also lost family to the extremists. Nick had killed the other male who ran the preserve.
Jesse wished he could say he’d grieved for Mia as intensely as his parents had. Wished he could claim to be scarred by her death like any normal person would be by the loss of a sibling. But he’d lost his sister long before that. Lost her to drugs and alcohol and her chosen path of self-destruction.
When her drug addiction had strongly taken hold, she’d changed dramatically. Become someone he didn’t know or like. Someone selfish and abusive. In some ways, he’d felt sorry for her. After all, who actually wanted to be a junkie? Who actually wanted to be someone who would steal, lie, hurt, manipulate, and cheat as easily as they’d breathe? Surely, no one did.
He’d tried to think of her as a lost and weak-minded person who just needed help. He’d even tried to get her that help—over and over, for that matter. But he’d come to realize that Harley had been right in something she’d once said: you couldn’t help an addict unless they wanted that help. Mia hadn’t.
His soul may not be bleeding with grief, but her death had still deeply affected his life. If she hadn’t gone missing, he wouldn’t be a Mercury wolf right now. He, Bracken, and Zander had only chosen to leave the Sequoia Pack because they’d mistakenly suspected that the Alpha—an asshole of epic proportions—might have had some involvement in the kidnapping of the missing members of their families. Rather than return to their old pack, they had remained with Nick, an Alpha they could truly respect and follow.
None of that would have happened if Mia had just listened to Jesse. He had warned her that shifters were disappearing. He’d warned her to be careful, and if she had just listened to him, she might be alive. Harley would take this shit seriously, and he would ensure that the extremists didn’t take her from him. And if she didn’t like that he was suddenly all up in her business, demanding everything she had to give, too fucking bad.
CHAPTER FOUR
It was the smell of coffee that penetrated her delightfully deep sleep, but it was the sensation of a thumb breezing along her jaw that made Harley snap fully awake. And there was Jesse, staring down at her. His expression would have been as blank as always if it weren’t for the way his eyes glittered with a heat that made her breath catch.
“Morning,” he said simply.
She swallowed. “I take it that’s for me,” she said, referring to the cup he was holding. Then she caught sight of a very noticeable bulge in his jeans. Warmth flooded her cheeks as she realized her words could be taken to mean something else. One corner of his mouth tipped up in amusement.
“It is,” said Jesse.
She sat upright. “Thanks.” Taking the mug, she blew over the rim before taking a sip. He watched her, completely still. She felt awkward and vulnerable having him there while she wasn’t fully alert, especially considering the things he’d said the previous night.
“Sleep well?”
