Foreplay
Page 36
Oh God. Was this it? I’d lived my whole life afraid to make a move because it might be the wrong one, and now I would die in a fire before I even turned twenty?
I’d said good-bye to Reece and kicked him out of my life for what? To end this way? No. Hell no.
I moved, dragging myself over the floor, choking for breath. I clawed one hand after the other. The puppy was still, a warm little body inside my sweatshirt, and I wondered dimly if it was too late for him. Had this all been for nothing?
My entire body felt like lead as I struggled through the black smoke. My head throbbed as I wheezed, my lungs withering, dying for a taste of oxygen. I turned my face, searching, suddenly confused. Which way was the door?
Oh God. So sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not sure who the apology was for. Myself? Gram? My friends? Reece?
Reece.
Yes. I wished I could tell him I was sorry. Sorry about running. From us. From all he had offered me. That was my biggest sin, I realized. My greatest regret. Running from love. I’m the safest thing you’ll ever find. Suddenly I understood what he had been saying. He had cared about me. Maybe even loved me. He was the real thing. Better than any plan or fantasy I’d created in my head. And I’d pushed him away.
My arms gave out. I slumped to the carpet, collapsing on my side, still coughing, my chest tight and aching.
“Pepper!”
I flinched.
“Pepper!”
Cruel mind. Maybe this was my hell, to imagine Reece’s voice so close.
“Pepper!”
I forced my head up and peered through the haze. I made out the shape of someone through the smoke and flames. Just a glimpse and then he moved away. But I recognized that voice. Reece . . .
“Here!” My voice came out a pathetic croak.
Life surged inside me, desperate for one more chance. My body fought back up to its hands and knees.
I cried out again, “Here!” I was louder, but it still wasn’t enough. Panting, I pushed myself to keep going, praying I was headed in the right direction. I was making progress until I bumped into something hard. I peered through the fog, registering that it was the Campbells’ grandfather clock. Flames ate at the top portion of it. Suddenly it started to crumble. I tried to back away, but it came down, landing on me and pinning me across my hips. It was only a matter of moments before it was engulfed in fire. And me with it.
Something groaned and I heard a crash behind me. A glance back revealed that a section of the ceiling had collapsed. It wouldn’t be long before the rest of it caved in. I was going to burn to death. And Reece was in here somewhere searching for me.
He would burn, too.
Throwing back my head, I screamed with everything I had left. To save Reece. To save me. My voice ripped from my raw throat: “Here! I’m here!”
It was enough.
Reece emerged, charging through the smoke, his face sweaty and red where it wasn’t covered in soot. Squatting, he pulled me free and swept me into his arms. Cradling me to his chest, he didn’t bother to crawl. He ran. The fire roared all around us as he cut a straight line for the door.
We burst out into the night. The sudden cold was a shock on my scalded flesh. Reece carried me to where the girls waited. Once there, he dropped to his knees, still clutching me to him.
The girls surrounded us, crying and exclaiming. I still wheezed, starved for air. All of me hurt. My lungs, my eyes, my skin.
“Pepper.” Reece turned my face and examined me. “Are you all right?”
I nodded once and even that motion hurt. “Are you?” I tried to assess him in turn, to see if he was hurt, but my eyes continued to blur with tears.
“I’m fine.”
Something stirred against my chest and I remembered the puppy. I tugged at the hem of my sweatshirt, and the girls saw Jazz. They squealed and grabbed him.
Still unable to catch my breath, I fell back on the ground.
Reece’s face loomed over me. “Pepper? Pepper?”
He sounded so panicked. I wanted to tell him everything was going to be all right. That I was fine. I wanted to thank him for coming, for giving me the strength to keep going, to keep fighting.
I wanted to say all these things. All these things and more. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t catch my breath. My hand drifted to my chest, as though I could find some switch there to help open up my oxygen-starved lungs.
There was no switch.
I wheezed, terrible little sounds escaping my lips as I struggled for more air. Spots danced before my eyes, and I hated that most of all. The edges of my vision grayed. I could barely see Reece anymore. My gaze strained, as if struggling to memorize his face. Overheated and marred with soot, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
I could hear him, though, screaming my name again and again. Could feel him. His hands on my arms, my face.
My vision went dark, and just before that darkness rolled in on my mind, I got out two words. Just two words. But they were good ones. I hoped he heard them.
“Love. You.”
Chapter 26
Ouch. It was my first thought when I came to. Ouch and then: Dear God, that really hurts.
I moaned, and the simple action only made my throat hurt more. I quickly sealed my lips, stopping the effort.
“You’re awake!”
I opened my eyes to witness Reece lurching from a chair beside me. My gaze flicked around me—hospital bed?
“Where am I?” I asked in a voice as gravelly as sandpaper. I winced and he grabbed a cup of water and held it to my lips. I drank deeply, letting the water flow over my raw tongue and throat as he replied.
“In the emergency room.”
“The girls—”
“They’re fine. They’re with their parents. The house is gone. Some kind of faulty wiring in the kitchen. Old house. We’re lucky it didn’t happen when the Campbells were in bed. They might not have gotten out.”
My head felt like it weighed two tons, but I lifted it to glance down at myself. The movement made me aware of the tubes running into my nose. I reached up to touch them.
“It’s to give you oxygen. Don’t mess with it. They had a full oxygen mask on you earlier. They said you’ll need to keep the tubes in for a while to help your lungs recover.”
My hand fell away. I licked at my dry lips and fought to swallow against my raw throat. He reached for the cup again and handed it to me over the bed guard. I sipped and handed it back. “You came. H-how did you know?”
“I heard the alarm down the road. And then I saw the black smoke in the sky. I didn’t know you were there until I found the girls in the yard.” His jaw clenched. A muscle feathered in his cheek. His eyes blazed down at me. “You went back for a dog? What the f**k were you thinking? You could have died, Pepper! I watched the paramedics work on you and . . . I thought . . .” He stopped, his voice choking. I had never seen him like this. Not even when he told me about his mother. Not even when his father showed up and made a scene at Mulvaney’s.
I held silent, letting him yell at me. I deserved it. For tonight and more.
He ducked his head, leaning his forehead on the bed guard as though he needed a moment to compose himself and stop from strangling me. I reached out and ran my fingers over his hair.
He lifted his head. His eyes gleamed with moisture and his voice was quiet as he continued, “I thought you were gone, Pepper. It was bad enough to lose you the first time, but to lose you like that? I couldn’t have dealt with that.”
I choked on a sob. It tore through my ravaged throat, but I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried. Another hoarse sob followed. “You’re the reason I’m alive. I heard you and that made me fight. You were there, somewhere, and I knew that. I had to get to you.”
He reached for my face, and that’s when I noticed his bandaged hands.
“Reece!” I gently took them between my hands. My eyes flew to his face. “This is from saving me.”
“They’re just minor burns. From when I lifted the clock. I‘ll be fine.”
I blinked long and hard before opening my eyes to look at him. “God, we could have died tonight. It could have ended like that.” A sob welled up in the back of my throat. I swallowed it down and moistened my lips. “I understand what you meant now. Bad shit happens. I thought picking Hunter . . . I was being smart.” I shook my head. “My safe choices didn’t matter tonight though. Did they?”
A stillness came over him. “So what are you saying?” His question hung heavily on the air.
“I know you’re with Tatiana now, but—”
He shook his head, his expression bewildered. “I’m not.”
“What?”
“It was just a coffee. We’re old friends.”
“Oh.” I blinked.
“You’re with Hunter.” It was more of a question than a statement.
Tears welled up in my eyes. “But it hasn’t been right. It hasn’t been you. I can’t . . . I haven’t been able to—” I sucked in a deep breath. “I can’t be a real girlfriend to him when all I can do is think about you.”
“Ah, shit, Pepper.” Still holding my face, he lowered his forehead to mine. “I’m not going through this again with you just so you can run when you get scared that I’m not like some ideal you built up in your head. I love you. I’m f**king in love with you, but it’s all or nothing. I won’t do this again unless it’s going to be like that.”
Now I was crying, choking on my sobs. “I know. I want that. It took me so long to figure that out, but I know now. You are the safest thing I’ll ever find.” I deliberately repeated his words, holding his gaze and letting them sink in. “Because you love me. Because I love you.”
Then we were kissing. Both of us a mess. Oxygen tubing running up my nose. Neither one of us cared.
He pulled back and stared at me for a long moment before a slow grin broke across his face. “I heard you say it the first time, you know, but this time it’s even better.”
I blinked. “What first time?”
“Right before you passed out. Wasn’t sure if you meant it. Could have just been your oxygen-starved brain.”
“I remember saying it. I meant it. And I mean it now.”
He kissed me again. “I love you. Ever since you walked into Mulvaney’s looking like it was the last place you wanted to be.” A corner of his mouth lifted. “And ever since you explained so matter-of-factly that you were looking for lessons in foreplay.”
I rolled my head on the pillow with a groan. “Please. Don’t remind me of that.”
“C’mon.” He kissed my grimy cheek. “It’s good stuff. We can tell our grandkids about it someday.”
I lifted my head and looked into his eyes, warmth blossoming through me at his words. “I’d rather tell the one about how their grandfather carried their grandmother out of a burning building.”
He grinned, but there was such seriousness in his eyes, such depth that I felt like I was looking at forever. “That will be a good one, too.”
“I think we’re going to have a few to choose from.”
“Of course we will. We’ll never be boring.”
At that moment, my roommates arrived. They yanked back the curtain, a nurse fast on their heels. Their eyes widened when they saw Reece hovering over me, his hands framing my face.
“Hey,” I greeted them with an awkward wave.
“Are you okay?” Georgia rushed to my side, looking me over.
“I’m fine.”
“And what’s this?” Em nodded at Reece. He released my face but now held my hand, fingers laced with mine.
He looked at me, waiting for me to answer. “My boyfriend.”
“Thought you had one of those already,” Georgia murmured.
“Yeah. Who should be here any minute,” Emerson volunteered with a pointed look at our joined hands. “We called him on our way here.”
I’d said good-bye to Reece and kicked him out of my life for what? To end this way? No. Hell no.
I moved, dragging myself over the floor, choking for breath. I clawed one hand after the other. The puppy was still, a warm little body inside my sweatshirt, and I wondered dimly if it was too late for him. Had this all been for nothing?
My entire body felt like lead as I struggled through the black smoke. My head throbbed as I wheezed, my lungs withering, dying for a taste of oxygen. I turned my face, searching, suddenly confused. Which way was the door?
Oh God. So sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not sure who the apology was for. Myself? Gram? My friends? Reece?
Reece.
Yes. I wished I could tell him I was sorry. Sorry about running. From us. From all he had offered me. That was my biggest sin, I realized. My greatest regret. Running from love. I’m the safest thing you’ll ever find. Suddenly I understood what he had been saying. He had cared about me. Maybe even loved me. He was the real thing. Better than any plan or fantasy I’d created in my head. And I’d pushed him away.
My arms gave out. I slumped to the carpet, collapsing on my side, still coughing, my chest tight and aching.
“Pepper!”
I flinched.
“Pepper!”
Cruel mind. Maybe this was my hell, to imagine Reece’s voice so close.
“Pepper!”
I forced my head up and peered through the haze. I made out the shape of someone through the smoke and flames. Just a glimpse and then he moved away. But I recognized that voice. Reece . . .
“Here!” My voice came out a pathetic croak.
Life surged inside me, desperate for one more chance. My body fought back up to its hands and knees.
I cried out again, “Here!” I was louder, but it still wasn’t enough. Panting, I pushed myself to keep going, praying I was headed in the right direction. I was making progress until I bumped into something hard. I peered through the fog, registering that it was the Campbells’ grandfather clock. Flames ate at the top portion of it. Suddenly it started to crumble. I tried to back away, but it came down, landing on me and pinning me across my hips. It was only a matter of moments before it was engulfed in fire. And me with it.
Something groaned and I heard a crash behind me. A glance back revealed that a section of the ceiling had collapsed. It wouldn’t be long before the rest of it caved in. I was going to burn to death. And Reece was in here somewhere searching for me.
He would burn, too.
Throwing back my head, I screamed with everything I had left. To save Reece. To save me. My voice ripped from my raw throat: “Here! I’m here!”
It was enough.
Reece emerged, charging through the smoke, his face sweaty and red where it wasn’t covered in soot. Squatting, he pulled me free and swept me into his arms. Cradling me to his chest, he didn’t bother to crawl. He ran. The fire roared all around us as he cut a straight line for the door.
We burst out into the night. The sudden cold was a shock on my scalded flesh. Reece carried me to where the girls waited. Once there, he dropped to his knees, still clutching me to him.
The girls surrounded us, crying and exclaiming. I still wheezed, starved for air. All of me hurt. My lungs, my eyes, my skin.
“Pepper.” Reece turned my face and examined me. “Are you all right?”
I nodded once and even that motion hurt. “Are you?” I tried to assess him in turn, to see if he was hurt, but my eyes continued to blur with tears.
“I’m fine.”
Something stirred against my chest and I remembered the puppy. I tugged at the hem of my sweatshirt, and the girls saw Jazz. They squealed and grabbed him.
Still unable to catch my breath, I fell back on the ground.
Reece’s face loomed over me. “Pepper? Pepper?”
He sounded so panicked. I wanted to tell him everything was going to be all right. That I was fine. I wanted to thank him for coming, for giving me the strength to keep going, to keep fighting.
I wanted to say all these things. All these things and more. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t catch my breath. My hand drifted to my chest, as though I could find some switch there to help open up my oxygen-starved lungs.
There was no switch.
I wheezed, terrible little sounds escaping my lips as I struggled for more air. Spots danced before my eyes, and I hated that most of all. The edges of my vision grayed. I could barely see Reece anymore. My gaze strained, as if struggling to memorize his face. Overheated and marred with soot, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
I could hear him, though, screaming my name again and again. Could feel him. His hands on my arms, my face.
My vision went dark, and just before that darkness rolled in on my mind, I got out two words. Just two words. But they were good ones. I hoped he heard them.
“Love. You.”
Chapter 26
Ouch. It was my first thought when I came to. Ouch and then: Dear God, that really hurts.
I moaned, and the simple action only made my throat hurt more. I quickly sealed my lips, stopping the effort.
“You’re awake!”
I opened my eyes to witness Reece lurching from a chair beside me. My gaze flicked around me—hospital bed?
“Where am I?” I asked in a voice as gravelly as sandpaper. I winced and he grabbed a cup of water and held it to my lips. I drank deeply, letting the water flow over my raw tongue and throat as he replied.
“In the emergency room.”
“The girls—”
“They’re fine. They’re with their parents. The house is gone. Some kind of faulty wiring in the kitchen. Old house. We’re lucky it didn’t happen when the Campbells were in bed. They might not have gotten out.”
My head felt like it weighed two tons, but I lifted it to glance down at myself. The movement made me aware of the tubes running into my nose. I reached up to touch them.
“It’s to give you oxygen. Don’t mess with it. They had a full oxygen mask on you earlier. They said you’ll need to keep the tubes in for a while to help your lungs recover.”
My hand fell away. I licked at my dry lips and fought to swallow against my raw throat. He reached for the cup again and handed it to me over the bed guard. I sipped and handed it back. “You came. H-how did you know?”
“I heard the alarm down the road. And then I saw the black smoke in the sky. I didn’t know you were there until I found the girls in the yard.” His jaw clenched. A muscle feathered in his cheek. His eyes blazed down at me. “You went back for a dog? What the f**k were you thinking? You could have died, Pepper! I watched the paramedics work on you and . . . I thought . . .” He stopped, his voice choking. I had never seen him like this. Not even when he told me about his mother. Not even when his father showed up and made a scene at Mulvaney’s.
I held silent, letting him yell at me. I deserved it. For tonight and more.
He ducked his head, leaning his forehead on the bed guard as though he needed a moment to compose himself and stop from strangling me. I reached out and ran my fingers over his hair.
He lifted his head. His eyes gleamed with moisture and his voice was quiet as he continued, “I thought you were gone, Pepper. It was bad enough to lose you the first time, but to lose you like that? I couldn’t have dealt with that.”
I choked on a sob. It tore through my ravaged throat, but I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried. Another hoarse sob followed. “You’re the reason I’m alive. I heard you and that made me fight. You were there, somewhere, and I knew that. I had to get to you.”
He reached for my face, and that’s when I noticed his bandaged hands.
“Reece!” I gently took them between my hands. My eyes flew to his face. “This is from saving me.”
“They’re just minor burns. From when I lifted the clock. I‘ll be fine.”
I blinked long and hard before opening my eyes to look at him. “God, we could have died tonight. It could have ended like that.” A sob welled up in the back of my throat. I swallowed it down and moistened my lips. “I understand what you meant now. Bad shit happens. I thought picking Hunter . . . I was being smart.” I shook my head. “My safe choices didn’t matter tonight though. Did they?”
A stillness came over him. “So what are you saying?” His question hung heavily on the air.
“I know you’re with Tatiana now, but—”
He shook his head, his expression bewildered. “I’m not.”
“What?”
“It was just a coffee. We’re old friends.”
“Oh.” I blinked.
“You’re with Hunter.” It was more of a question than a statement.
Tears welled up in my eyes. “But it hasn’t been right. It hasn’t been you. I can’t . . . I haven’t been able to—” I sucked in a deep breath. “I can’t be a real girlfriend to him when all I can do is think about you.”
“Ah, shit, Pepper.” Still holding my face, he lowered his forehead to mine. “I’m not going through this again with you just so you can run when you get scared that I’m not like some ideal you built up in your head. I love you. I’m f**king in love with you, but it’s all or nothing. I won’t do this again unless it’s going to be like that.”
Now I was crying, choking on my sobs. “I know. I want that. It took me so long to figure that out, but I know now. You are the safest thing I’ll ever find.” I deliberately repeated his words, holding his gaze and letting them sink in. “Because you love me. Because I love you.”
Then we were kissing. Both of us a mess. Oxygen tubing running up my nose. Neither one of us cared.
He pulled back and stared at me for a long moment before a slow grin broke across his face. “I heard you say it the first time, you know, but this time it’s even better.”
I blinked. “What first time?”
“Right before you passed out. Wasn’t sure if you meant it. Could have just been your oxygen-starved brain.”
“I remember saying it. I meant it. And I mean it now.”
He kissed me again. “I love you. Ever since you walked into Mulvaney’s looking like it was the last place you wanted to be.” A corner of his mouth lifted. “And ever since you explained so matter-of-factly that you were looking for lessons in foreplay.”
I rolled my head on the pillow with a groan. “Please. Don’t remind me of that.”
“C’mon.” He kissed my grimy cheek. “It’s good stuff. We can tell our grandkids about it someday.”
I lifted my head and looked into his eyes, warmth blossoming through me at his words. “I’d rather tell the one about how their grandfather carried their grandmother out of a burning building.”
He grinned, but there was such seriousness in his eyes, such depth that I felt like I was looking at forever. “That will be a good one, too.”
“I think we’re going to have a few to choose from.”
“Of course we will. We’ll never be boring.”
At that moment, my roommates arrived. They yanked back the curtain, a nurse fast on their heels. Their eyes widened when they saw Reece hovering over me, his hands framing my face.
“Hey,” I greeted them with an awkward wave.
“Are you okay?” Georgia rushed to my side, looking me over.
“I’m fine.”
“And what’s this?” Em nodded at Reece. He released my face but now held my hand, fingers laced with mine.
He looked at me, waiting for me to answer. “My boyfriend.”
“Thought you had one of those already,” Georgia murmured.
“Yeah. Who should be here any minute,” Emerson volunteered with a pointed look at our joined hands. “We called him on our way here.”
