Forever with Me
Page 68
“Okay.” I pull my hand out of his and watch him quietly. “Since we agree on that, now I get to ask you why.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Why was I a douche?”
“You were an asshole, Jonathan. And I want to know why. What was it about me that was so unlovable? What gave you the right to make me feel less than, especially knowing my past with my parents.”
“Oh, Alecia, you are not unlovable. I’ll apologize first and foremost if I ever made you feel that way.”
My eyebrows lift in surprise.
“I was so in love with you I couldn’t see straight. You were beautiful and smart and so fucking talented.”
My jaw drops, and then I recover and simply scowl at him.
“If that’s how you treat someone you love, I really don’t want to know how you’d treat someone you can’t stand.”
“I was never good enough for you, Alecia. I knew that. I didn’t know why you were with me. And when you started your business and it became successful, I was worried.”
“Worried?”
“That you’d figure out that I wasn’t good enough for you. I dumbed it down, made it seem insignificant, because I was too much of a pussy to simply be proud of you. And the rest?” He shrugs and shakes his head. “I’ve been going through some therapy to figure it out. I knew I was hurting you, and I hated it, but I couldn’t stop.”
“What’s the verdict?”
“I’m a selfish jerk.”
“Pretty close,” I reply with a nod. “You do realize that being a complete asshole to someone that you’re afraid of losing is not the way to keep them.”
“Hey, no one said I was smart.”
His face sobers.
“Your parents didn’t deserve you, blondie. I sure as fuck didn’t deserve you either. But it didn’t have anything at all to do with you not being lovable.”
“It seems I’m the common denominator here, J.”
He shakes his head adamantly. “You had shitty luck when it came to the people who were in your life. And I’ve wanted to see you for a long time to say I’m sorry.”
“Well, this isn’t what I was expecting.”
“Were you going to rail at me, throw my coffee in my lap, and stomp off all self-righteously?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, before you do that, just know that I’m sorry for being a douche. You deserve someone who will love you and appreciate you in ways no one ever has before. I want that for you, blondie.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, and bite my lip to keep the tears at bay.
“You never came to get your piano or your other things. They’re still at the house. You can come get them whenever you want.”
“You didn’t sell the house?”
“No.”
“I don’t want the piano.” I sniff and shake my head, looking out the window to the waterfront.
“Seriously? But you’re so damn good at it.”
“I only ever played it for my parents. I won’t play it again.” I gaze over at my ex-husband and finally offer him a soft smile. “It was good to see you too, J.”
He reaches for my hand, and for just this moment, I let him.
It feels familiar, but it’s not the hand I want to hold mine. Not even close.
“I want you to shine, Alecia. And I want to tell you, right here in our place, I’m so fucking proud of you.”
I lean in and kiss his hand, then smile at him. “Thank you.”
And with that, I stand and walk away, not looking back.
Chapter Twenty One
~Dominic~
God, I’m so fucking tired. Being gone from my vineyard for ten days was too damn long. Celeste is fantastic, but I like things to be done a certain way, so I’ve done nothing for the past forty-eight hours but work and sleep, trying to shake this God-forsaken jet lag.
I hit send on an email, cementing a partnership with a new restaurant in the Portland area called Seduction, intrigued by the five owners, and make a mental note to take a trip down there soon to check it out.
I begin reading through an application for an event for this fall, and stumble when I see that it’s Alecia who is planning the affair.
I wish she’d talk to me. I’ve tried to call her several times over the past few weeks, but she’s not answered, and I refuse to beg her to answer the goddamn phone via text.
That’s just ridiculous.
I eye my phone and wonder just how ridiculous it really is, just as there’s a knock on my door, and am surprised to find Steven standing outside my office.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, as I stand and gesture for him to come inside. I close the door behind him.
“Oh, yes, I called earlier and Celeste said you were in today, so I thought I’d drop in and see how your trip went.”
“It was…necessary,” I reply and sit in my chair as he takes a seat before me. “But the issue seems to be resolved now.”
I secured a loan for Gianna, without telling her that I’m the one backing it, so she can get back on her feet. And I managed to have a heart-to-heart with Marco, right after I knocked him on his ass.
Both were immensely satisfying.
“I’m glad you’re home,” my father replies with a smile. He steeples his hands. “Did Alecia enjoy Italy?”
I lean back in my chair and shake my head. “She didn’t go.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Why was I a douche?”
“You were an asshole, Jonathan. And I want to know why. What was it about me that was so unlovable? What gave you the right to make me feel less than, especially knowing my past with my parents.”
“Oh, Alecia, you are not unlovable. I’ll apologize first and foremost if I ever made you feel that way.”
My eyebrows lift in surprise.
“I was so in love with you I couldn’t see straight. You were beautiful and smart and so fucking talented.”
My jaw drops, and then I recover and simply scowl at him.
“If that’s how you treat someone you love, I really don’t want to know how you’d treat someone you can’t stand.”
“I was never good enough for you, Alecia. I knew that. I didn’t know why you were with me. And when you started your business and it became successful, I was worried.”
“Worried?”
“That you’d figure out that I wasn’t good enough for you. I dumbed it down, made it seem insignificant, because I was too much of a pussy to simply be proud of you. And the rest?” He shrugs and shakes his head. “I’ve been going through some therapy to figure it out. I knew I was hurting you, and I hated it, but I couldn’t stop.”
“What’s the verdict?”
“I’m a selfish jerk.”
“Pretty close,” I reply with a nod. “You do realize that being a complete asshole to someone that you’re afraid of losing is not the way to keep them.”
“Hey, no one said I was smart.”
His face sobers.
“Your parents didn’t deserve you, blondie. I sure as fuck didn’t deserve you either. But it didn’t have anything at all to do with you not being lovable.”
“It seems I’m the common denominator here, J.”
He shakes his head adamantly. “You had shitty luck when it came to the people who were in your life. And I’ve wanted to see you for a long time to say I’m sorry.”
“Well, this isn’t what I was expecting.”
“Were you going to rail at me, throw my coffee in my lap, and stomp off all self-righteously?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, before you do that, just know that I’m sorry for being a douche. You deserve someone who will love you and appreciate you in ways no one ever has before. I want that for you, blondie.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, and bite my lip to keep the tears at bay.
“You never came to get your piano or your other things. They’re still at the house. You can come get them whenever you want.”
“You didn’t sell the house?”
“No.”
“I don’t want the piano.” I sniff and shake my head, looking out the window to the waterfront.
“Seriously? But you’re so damn good at it.”
“I only ever played it for my parents. I won’t play it again.” I gaze over at my ex-husband and finally offer him a soft smile. “It was good to see you too, J.”
He reaches for my hand, and for just this moment, I let him.
It feels familiar, but it’s not the hand I want to hold mine. Not even close.
“I want you to shine, Alecia. And I want to tell you, right here in our place, I’m so fucking proud of you.”
I lean in and kiss his hand, then smile at him. “Thank you.”
And with that, I stand and walk away, not looking back.
Chapter Twenty One
~Dominic~
God, I’m so fucking tired. Being gone from my vineyard for ten days was too damn long. Celeste is fantastic, but I like things to be done a certain way, so I’ve done nothing for the past forty-eight hours but work and sleep, trying to shake this God-forsaken jet lag.
I hit send on an email, cementing a partnership with a new restaurant in the Portland area called Seduction, intrigued by the five owners, and make a mental note to take a trip down there soon to check it out.
I begin reading through an application for an event for this fall, and stumble when I see that it’s Alecia who is planning the affair.
I wish she’d talk to me. I’ve tried to call her several times over the past few weeks, but she’s not answered, and I refuse to beg her to answer the goddamn phone via text.
That’s just ridiculous.
I eye my phone and wonder just how ridiculous it really is, just as there’s a knock on my door, and am surprised to find Steven standing outside my office.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, as I stand and gesture for him to come inside. I close the door behind him.
“Oh, yes, I called earlier and Celeste said you were in today, so I thought I’d drop in and see how your trip went.”
“It was…necessary,” I reply and sit in my chair as he takes a seat before me. “But the issue seems to be resolved now.”
I secured a loan for Gianna, without telling her that I’m the one backing it, so she can get back on her feet. And I managed to have a heart-to-heart with Marco, right after I knocked him on his ass.
Both were immensely satisfying.
“I’m glad you’re home,” my father replies with a smile. He steeples his hands. “Did Alecia enjoy Italy?”
I lean back in my chair and shake my head. “She didn’t go.”
