Forgive My Fins
Page 66
But maybe that’s a bad thing.
I think of Daddy, deftly handling the squabbling seaholders with authority and just enough regal force to make them rethink bringing their petty argument before the king. That’s what makes him a powerful leader. He is confident in his decisions and dares anyone to defy him.
I’m not like that.
At least, not with anyone but Quince.
That’s when it hits me. Peri is partly right. Quince brings out a fire in me that burns to take him on. With Brody—before I realized he was nothing more than imaginary perfection—I was afraid to do something wrong, something that would make him laugh at or ridicule me. With Quince, I’ve never had that fear.
With Quince, I don’t feel like a lesser being…I feel like an equal.
With Quince, I don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than exactly who I am. He makes me content to be me. That’s what makes him my perfect mermate. Well, that and the fact that I love him to pieces.
“Peri, I—”
“I know,” she says, giving me a gentle shove. “You have to go.”
“I’ll see you soon,” I insist.
“Promises, promises,” she says as I disappear out the front door.
I’m too busy worrying about what Daddy will say when I tell him I’m going back to Seaview. He will be so disappointed.
“I wondered how long it would take,” Daddy muses as he studies the calendar on his desk. “Bet Mangrove ten star bucks that you’d be gone within two days.”
“What?” I expected some kingly rage, a slammed fist or two. Maybe even a royal edict. I definitely hadn’t expected a wager.
“Lily,” he says, looking up at me with all the love he’s always shown, “I’m not blind. I can see how much you love the boy.”
“I—” At first I feel a little embarrassed to confess to my dad, but then I realize there’s no point in pretending. Especially since that’s why I’m here in his office in the first place. “I do, Daddy,” I admit. “I do love him.”
“That’s what you never realized about the bond,” he says. “It doesn’t force feelings that are not already there. It might uncover emotions you weren’t prepared to admit, but it can’t make someone fall in love. That you did all on your own.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I complain. “You could have saved me—saved us—a lot of time and heartache.”
“Would it have done any good?” he asks sagely. “You weren’t ready to hear the truth—from me or from Quince.” He smiles. “Besides, I wanted you to realize for yourself what you wanted. In love and in life.”
Life. Yeah, my life is definitely going to change. If I’m going back to be with Quince, then I’m facing a very different future from the one I’ve always imagined. With the bond immunity in place, he can never become mer. And it’s not like humans can apply for a day pass to Thalassinia. He can’t make his home in the sea.
Which means neither will I.
Which means I won’t be taking my place in Daddy’s court or preparing to succeed to the throne. Thalassinia can’t exactly have an absentee crown princess in her court.
Strangely, the thought doesn’t make me feel as sad as I would have thought. In fact, I feel a little…relieved.
“Daddy, I—I’m going back. To stay.”
“I know.” He shakes his head and smiles sadly. “I wish you had realized this before we conducted the separation.” Then he huffs out a little laugh. “Although I think I’ve always known that your dreams reach far beyond this palace. You’ve never fully belonged to the sea, have you?”
“Maybe not,” I say, even if it feels weird to say so. It’s strange to realize that the place you’ve always considered home might not be where you’re supposed to end up.
“You’ve always had more of your mother in you,” he says. “She tried to convince me to move to land. Said she didn’t think she’d ever feel entirely at home in a world where she might float away in the night.”
“Did you want to?” I ask. “Move, I mean.”
“Of course. I loved your mother more than anything in the world, until you came along.”
It’s such a sweet declaration that I swim over his desk and hug myself to his chest.
“But by the time we met, your grandfather had passed and I had already ascended to the throne.” He squeezes me closer. “Leaving the kingdom was not an option.”
His duty before his heart. And am I about to make the opposite decision?
“What about me?” I ask. “Thalassinia will lose its heir if I don’t bond by my birthday.”
And it’s not as if I could bond to someone else, knowing that I love Quince.
“First of all,” Daddy says, “I plan on living a good long time, so Thalassinia has plenty of time to find a new successor, if that’s your final decision. We might be able to find a loophole around the bonding-by-your-eighteenth-birthday law.”
I smile. I always had a hard time with the idea that I would take the crown when Daddy dies. It felt like I would be stealing it from him just when he was stolen from me. But I never allowed myself to think of what I would do if I weren’t the royal princess. Maybe I’m destined for something else.
“Secondly,” he continues, hopefully unaware of my sad thoughts, “neither your mother nor I would ever want you to put your royal duty before something as personal as love. We want more for you.”
I think of Daddy, deftly handling the squabbling seaholders with authority and just enough regal force to make them rethink bringing their petty argument before the king. That’s what makes him a powerful leader. He is confident in his decisions and dares anyone to defy him.
I’m not like that.
At least, not with anyone but Quince.
That’s when it hits me. Peri is partly right. Quince brings out a fire in me that burns to take him on. With Brody—before I realized he was nothing more than imaginary perfection—I was afraid to do something wrong, something that would make him laugh at or ridicule me. With Quince, I’ve never had that fear.
With Quince, I don’t feel like a lesser being…I feel like an equal.
With Quince, I don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than exactly who I am. He makes me content to be me. That’s what makes him my perfect mermate. Well, that and the fact that I love him to pieces.
“Peri, I—”
“I know,” she says, giving me a gentle shove. “You have to go.”
“I’ll see you soon,” I insist.
“Promises, promises,” she says as I disappear out the front door.
I’m too busy worrying about what Daddy will say when I tell him I’m going back to Seaview. He will be so disappointed.
“I wondered how long it would take,” Daddy muses as he studies the calendar on his desk. “Bet Mangrove ten star bucks that you’d be gone within two days.”
“What?” I expected some kingly rage, a slammed fist or two. Maybe even a royal edict. I definitely hadn’t expected a wager.
“Lily,” he says, looking up at me with all the love he’s always shown, “I’m not blind. I can see how much you love the boy.”
“I—” At first I feel a little embarrassed to confess to my dad, but then I realize there’s no point in pretending. Especially since that’s why I’m here in his office in the first place. “I do, Daddy,” I admit. “I do love him.”
“That’s what you never realized about the bond,” he says. “It doesn’t force feelings that are not already there. It might uncover emotions you weren’t prepared to admit, but it can’t make someone fall in love. That you did all on your own.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I complain. “You could have saved me—saved us—a lot of time and heartache.”
“Would it have done any good?” he asks sagely. “You weren’t ready to hear the truth—from me or from Quince.” He smiles. “Besides, I wanted you to realize for yourself what you wanted. In love and in life.”
Life. Yeah, my life is definitely going to change. If I’m going back to be with Quince, then I’m facing a very different future from the one I’ve always imagined. With the bond immunity in place, he can never become mer. And it’s not like humans can apply for a day pass to Thalassinia. He can’t make his home in the sea.
Which means neither will I.
Which means I won’t be taking my place in Daddy’s court or preparing to succeed to the throne. Thalassinia can’t exactly have an absentee crown princess in her court.
Strangely, the thought doesn’t make me feel as sad as I would have thought. In fact, I feel a little…relieved.
“Daddy, I—I’m going back. To stay.”
“I know.” He shakes his head and smiles sadly. “I wish you had realized this before we conducted the separation.” Then he huffs out a little laugh. “Although I think I’ve always known that your dreams reach far beyond this palace. You’ve never fully belonged to the sea, have you?”
“Maybe not,” I say, even if it feels weird to say so. It’s strange to realize that the place you’ve always considered home might not be where you’re supposed to end up.
“You’ve always had more of your mother in you,” he says. “She tried to convince me to move to land. Said she didn’t think she’d ever feel entirely at home in a world where she might float away in the night.”
“Did you want to?” I ask. “Move, I mean.”
“Of course. I loved your mother more than anything in the world, until you came along.”
It’s such a sweet declaration that I swim over his desk and hug myself to his chest.
“But by the time we met, your grandfather had passed and I had already ascended to the throne.” He squeezes me closer. “Leaving the kingdom was not an option.”
His duty before his heart. And am I about to make the opposite decision?
“What about me?” I ask. “Thalassinia will lose its heir if I don’t bond by my birthday.”
And it’s not as if I could bond to someone else, knowing that I love Quince.
“First of all,” Daddy says, “I plan on living a good long time, so Thalassinia has plenty of time to find a new successor, if that’s your final decision. We might be able to find a loophole around the bonding-by-your-eighteenth-birthday law.”
I smile. I always had a hard time with the idea that I would take the crown when Daddy dies. It felt like I would be stealing it from him just when he was stolen from me. But I never allowed myself to think of what I would do if I weren’t the royal princess. Maybe I’m destined for something else.
“Secondly,” he continues, hopefully unaware of my sad thoughts, “neither your mother nor I would ever want you to put your royal duty before something as personal as love. We want more for you.”
