Four Letter Word
Page 28
It hurt to do it.
I dropped my eyes to my glass, collecting sugar off the rim with my finger.
“Haven’t heard a peep,” I answered Shay, hearing irritated tongue clicks and a quietly muttered “asshole” I was certain came from Tori.
I lifted my head and looked around at the three of them.
“And I’ve decided I’m not reaching out to him. Ever. I don’t need to talk to Marcus for any reason besides what needs to be done to get this divorce final, and that hassle falls on him. This was his doing. He wanted this, so he can do all the work in getting that shit started if he hasn’t already. I’m not dealing with lawyers and spending my time getting paperwork together or paying costs if there are any. Let him eat it. Three weeks and he doesn’t even reach out once? No.” I shook my head, breathing heavily through my nose. “There is nothing I need to talk to him about anymore. Our finances have always been separate, so that’s not an issue. I took everything I wanted to take when I left so there’s nothing there I need to get from him, and whatever we bought together under the false pretense of sticking through thick and thin, for life, he can keep. I don’t want it. If it’s tied to a memory of him, I don’t want anything to do with it.”
Tori touched my hand. “Hon.”
“He lied to me,” I went on. “He said he’d love me forever, no matter what. He promised I’d never walk alone and then he walked away, and for whatever reason he had for doing this, one I still don’t know since he hasn’t reached out to me at all, I can’t for the life of me imagine that reason being big enough to treat someone who was in your life for seven years like a complete stranger. Like nothing. So no, I’m done. I’m not going to sit around and wait for Marcus to call me anymore. I’m going to live my life how I want to live it, and even though I’d already decided I was going to do this a week ago, I’ll say for effect that I’m doing this starting now. And you three are my witnesses.”
Tori squeezed my hand.
“Good for you,” Shay said, smiling favorably.
“Yeah, Sydney. I think that’s the right move,” Kali agreed. “Screw him. He doesn’t deserve you. You’re, like, the sweetest thing ever and he’s obviously a jerk. I’m sure you’ll find someone who deserves you when you’re ready.”
As if he knew how perfect his timing would be, my lap vibrated at that exact moment.
My hand curled around the device. I watched Tori get to her feet and snatch her glass off the table.
“I’m getting us all another round since my best girl just declared she’s living the life she wants to live now, and that’s worth celebrating, and also since our waitress sucks ass and decided she doesn’t want to serve four hot chicks who look better than she does on her best day.”
“Ouch.” Shay laughed.
Kali giggled and stood up, too, grabbing her almost empty glass.
“I’m joining.”
I watched the two of them walk away, then watched as Shay tugged out her own phone and started messing with it, giving me the go-ahead I was grateful for.
You get a cab?
Nope. I’m getting drink number 3!
How late you staying out?
Why? Miss talking to me?
Yeah.
I blinked and read that message twice. Then I read it again.
My belly warmed, flipped, then twisted.
God, that felt good.
I could slip outside and call you real quick.
Can’t talk now. Out with my boys.
Oh.
I didn’t hide my disappointment. I didn’t think it was fair since he didn’t hide wanting to talk to me.
Call when you get home. I’ll be up.
And just like that, my disappointment vanished.
He’d be up, waiting to talk to me. Wanting to talk to me. That felt better than two going on three lemon drops, and those felt good.
OK.
Get a cab.
We’re calling an Uber.
Good.
Glad you approve.
You being smart?
I’m being WILD.
I typed this smiling so big my cheeks hurt.
Right. Be Wild and call an Uber.
I giggled and looked up just as Tori was walking back over with Kali, both of them laughing about something while Tori carried a tray like I’d seen her do a million times at work, kept close and perched beside her shoulder and doing it with ease, this one covered in drinks ranging in size from the four lemon drop martinis to tiny shot glasses filled with different-colored liquids.
I was confused as to why she was carrying it. I was also confused as to why it was covered in shot glasses when I thought we were sticking with lemon drop martinis tonight.
She slid it onto the table and wasted no time explaining herself.
“That guy in the suit over there wanted to buy us drinks because apparently we look like a bunch of women who can’t buy our own drinks and needed his big manly wallet to come and save us,” she started, doing this while distributing a martini glass and a shot in front of everyone. “So I decided to buy us a shit load of drinks to show him none of us need a man to buy us anything, and I did this while also explaining to him that this is girls’ night and on girls’ night we buy our own drinks.”
She lifted her shot and turned her head.
The three of us followed, Shay even spinning around to look, and saw the guy in the suit staring at us with wide eyes like he’d just been told to go fuck himself.
I wouldn’t have put it past Tori to deliver that message.
“To girls’ night!” Tori cheered.
We all toasted to girls’ night before shooting it back, and we did it loud.
* * *
“Oh, my gosh. Where is this guy? My feet are killing me!”
Kali stopped walking on the sidewalk and held on to the lamppost, tugged off her heels with a groan, then continued the trek down York Street barefoot with her heels in one hand and her clutch in another.
We’d left the bar ten minutes ago after calling Uber twenty minutes before that, expecting to see our ride waiting by the curb since that’s where he said he’d be.
He wasn’t. Apparently the man who drives for a living got lost.
So now we were walking down the block a little ways in hopes of spotting him so we could all get home, which I was dying to do since I knew Brian would be waiting up for me and I couldn’t wait to talk to him more about anything and everything.
I loved our conversations. And now I knew he missed them when we weren’t having them.
The flip and twist was happening constantly as I thought about that.
“Maybe you should call him again,” Shay suggested beside me, giggling and dropping her head on my arm.
She was completely loaded. I was pretty certain we were all some level of drunk, but Shay was definitely leading the way with the most shots thrown back.
I felt great. Warm and a little numb all over. I wanted to lie on the sidewalk and gaze at the stars.
“He might be in front of one of these other bars and be waiting for us, like an idiot,” Kali pointed out, bringing us to a halt in front of a nameless bar I couldn’t focus on because the neon lights were too bright for me at the moment.
I dropped my eyes to my glass, collecting sugar off the rim with my finger.
“Haven’t heard a peep,” I answered Shay, hearing irritated tongue clicks and a quietly muttered “asshole” I was certain came from Tori.
I lifted my head and looked around at the three of them.
“And I’ve decided I’m not reaching out to him. Ever. I don’t need to talk to Marcus for any reason besides what needs to be done to get this divorce final, and that hassle falls on him. This was his doing. He wanted this, so he can do all the work in getting that shit started if he hasn’t already. I’m not dealing with lawyers and spending my time getting paperwork together or paying costs if there are any. Let him eat it. Three weeks and he doesn’t even reach out once? No.” I shook my head, breathing heavily through my nose. “There is nothing I need to talk to him about anymore. Our finances have always been separate, so that’s not an issue. I took everything I wanted to take when I left so there’s nothing there I need to get from him, and whatever we bought together under the false pretense of sticking through thick and thin, for life, he can keep. I don’t want it. If it’s tied to a memory of him, I don’t want anything to do with it.”
Tori touched my hand. “Hon.”
“He lied to me,” I went on. “He said he’d love me forever, no matter what. He promised I’d never walk alone and then he walked away, and for whatever reason he had for doing this, one I still don’t know since he hasn’t reached out to me at all, I can’t for the life of me imagine that reason being big enough to treat someone who was in your life for seven years like a complete stranger. Like nothing. So no, I’m done. I’m not going to sit around and wait for Marcus to call me anymore. I’m going to live my life how I want to live it, and even though I’d already decided I was going to do this a week ago, I’ll say for effect that I’m doing this starting now. And you three are my witnesses.”
Tori squeezed my hand.
“Good for you,” Shay said, smiling favorably.
“Yeah, Sydney. I think that’s the right move,” Kali agreed. “Screw him. He doesn’t deserve you. You’re, like, the sweetest thing ever and he’s obviously a jerk. I’m sure you’ll find someone who deserves you when you’re ready.”
As if he knew how perfect his timing would be, my lap vibrated at that exact moment.
My hand curled around the device. I watched Tori get to her feet and snatch her glass off the table.
“I’m getting us all another round since my best girl just declared she’s living the life she wants to live now, and that’s worth celebrating, and also since our waitress sucks ass and decided she doesn’t want to serve four hot chicks who look better than she does on her best day.”
“Ouch.” Shay laughed.
Kali giggled and stood up, too, grabbing her almost empty glass.
“I’m joining.”
I watched the two of them walk away, then watched as Shay tugged out her own phone and started messing with it, giving me the go-ahead I was grateful for.
You get a cab?
Nope. I’m getting drink number 3!
How late you staying out?
Why? Miss talking to me?
Yeah.
I blinked and read that message twice. Then I read it again.
My belly warmed, flipped, then twisted.
God, that felt good.
I could slip outside and call you real quick.
Can’t talk now. Out with my boys.
Oh.
I didn’t hide my disappointment. I didn’t think it was fair since he didn’t hide wanting to talk to me.
Call when you get home. I’ll be up.
And just like that, my disappointment vanished.
He’d be up, waiting to talk to me. Wanting to talk to me. That felt better than two going on three lemon drops, and those felt good.
OK.
Get a cab.
We’re calling an Uber.
Good.
Glad you approve.
You being smart?
I’m being WILD.
I typed this smiling so big my cheeks hurt.
Right. Be Wild and call an Uber.
I giggled and looked up just as Tori was walking back over with Kali, both of them laughing about something while Tori carried a tray like I’d seen her do a million times at work, kept close and perched beside her shoulder and doing it with ease, this one covered in drinks ranging in size from the four lemon drop martinis to tiny shot glasses filled with different-colored liquids.
I was confused as to why she was carrying it. I was also confused as to why it was covered in shot glasses when I thought we were sticking with lemon drop martinis tonight.
She slid it onto the table and wasted no time explaining herself.
“That guy in the suit over there wanted to buy us drinks because apparently we look like a bunch of women who can’t buy our own drinks and needed his big manly wallet to come and save us,” she started, doing this while distributing a martini glass and a shot in front of everyone. “So I decided to buy us a shit load of drinks to show him none of us need a man to buy us anything, and I did this while also explaining to him that this is girls’ night and on girls’ night we buy our own drinks.”
She lifted her shot and turned her head.
The three of us followed, Shay even spinning around to look, and saw the guy in the suit staring at us with wide eyes like he’d just been told to go fuck himself.
I wouldn’t have put it past Tori to deliver that message.
“To girls’ night!” Tori cheered.
We all toasted to girls’ night before shooting it back, and we did it loud.
* * *
“Oh, my gosh. Where is this guy? My feet are killing me!”
Kali stopped walking on the sidewalk and held on to the lamppost, tugged off her heels with a groan, then continued the trek down York Street barefoot with her heels in one hand and her clutch in another.
We’d left the bar ten minutes ago after calling Uber twenty minutes before that, expecting to see our ride waiting by the curb since that’s where he said he’d be.
He wasn’t. Apparently the man who drives for a living got lost.
So now we were walking down the block a little ways in hopes of spotting him so we could all get home, which I was dying to do since I knew Brian would be waiting up for me and I couldn’t wait to talk to him more about anything and everything.
I loved our conversations. And now I knew he missed them when we weren’t having them.
The flip and twist was happening constantly as I thought about that.
“Maybe you should call him again,” Shay suggested beside me, giggling and dropping her head on my arm.
She was completely loaded. I was pretty certain we were all some level of drunk, but Shay was definitely leading the way with the most shots thrown back.
I felt great. Warm and a little numb all over. I wanted to lie on the sidewalk and gaze at the stars.
“He might be in front of one of these other bars and be waiting for us, like an idiot,” Kali pointed out, bringing us to a halt in front of a nameless bar I couldn’t focus on because the neon lights were too bright for me at the moment.
