Fourth Debt
Page 59
My hands shot to the fastenings, fighting, tugging. I ripped hair and scratched the side of my neck, doing my best to get free. I broke a nail, scrambling at the padlock. Screams and moans and animal caterwauls continued to escape.
I couldn’t form words, but it didn’t stop me from vocalizing my terror.
Bonnie kicked me, laughing harder. “I think an hour or two in the Scold’s Bridle will do you a world of good. Now be a good girl, and endure your punishment.”
The tiny bell saved me.
My heart asphyxiated all over again, remembering the dense heat, the overwhelming panic of the bridle. I never wanted to relive that again. Ever.
You’re free. It’s over.
I didn’t think it was possible, but the bridle was worse than the chair. Even remembering it caused the walls to warp, squeezing me uncomfortably tight.
I had a new affliction: claustrophobia.
Unknown Number: I sense you’re not telling me something. Remember what I used to call you? My naughty nun? God, I was such an arse. I fell for you even then. I think I was in love with you even before I set eyes on you.
All residual fear and ailments from the past week vanished. Fear was a strong emotion, but it had nothing on love.
Fresh tears cascaded over my cheeks.
You have no idea how much I wish to return to such innocence.
To only suffer worries of fashion lines and unpaid custom orders or whether Vaughn had ordered enough taupe buttons. Such frivolous problems—such easily solved concerns.
Not like what I deal with now.
My heart broke all over again. The punishment of abuse slowly turned my mind and body into rubble, fit only for sleep or death.
Needle&Thread: I love you so much.
Unknown Number: I love you more. I love you with every breath I take and every heartbeat I live. I love you more every day.
Tingles shot from my scalp to my toes.
Needle&Thread: I wish you were here. I’d kiss you and touch you and fall asleep in your arms.
Unknown Number: If you fell asleep in my arms, I’d hold you all night and keep you safe. I’d trespass on your dreams and make sure you know you belong to me and give you a future you deserve.
Needle&Thread: What do I deserve? What sort of future do you envision?
Unknown Number: You deserve everything that I am and more. You deserve happiness on top of happiness. You deserve protection and adoration and the knowledge that we will never be apart. You deserve so fucking much, and I mean to give you all of it.
I sighed, feeling the warmest, softest blanket covering me. Jethro might not be here physically, but spiritually he was. His unwhispered words were hugs, and his concern the sweetest of kisses.
Needle&Thread: Just tell me we’ll get through this. Tell me that we’ll be together and grow old together and build a life that no one can take from us ever again.
His reply took a moment, but when my phone chimed, he somehow gave me everything his family had stripped from me. He deleted the appalling events and gave me hope.
Unknown Number: Not only do I plan on having you by my side forever, but I want you as my wife. I want you as the mother of my children. I want you as my lover and best friend. We’ll get through this. It will all be over soon. And when it is, things will change for the better. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, Nila, and proving that you took a coward and made him want to be a hero. Your hero.
My lips wobbled with happy tears. I whispered, “I love you, Kite.”
Staring at my phone, I read and reread his messages. As much as I wanted to print them off and sleep wrapped up in his words, I had to delete them.
I couldn’t run the risk of Cut finding them.
I had no choice.
Die or kill.
Fight or defeat.
It killed me to drag the entire conversation to the trash and remove it.
Come save me soon.
Come end this before it's too late.
My happiness suddenly squashed as the walls squeezed in on all sides. My mind ricocheted backward, probing old memories.
I couldn’t move from the floor in the alcove. I didn’t know which way was up. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t speak. All I could do was hold onto the slate tiles and ride wave after wave of vertigo and claustrophobia.
My racing heart deleted years off my lifespan with undiluted panic.
I passed out.
It was a blessing.
By the time Bonnie returned to undo the padlock, I was no longer coherent.
Shaking my head, I rubbed my face.
How many tortures had Elisa suffered before she’d been ‘purified’?
Unknown Number: Goddammit, Nila. I need you so much. I need to show you how much I love you. How much I miss you.
My heart was in pieces without him.
Needle&Thread: I need you, too. So much. Too much. When we’re together again, I’m going to—
A noise wrenched my head up.
No!
My eyes fell on the unprotected door.
Please no!
The one awful thing about being so sick was I’d had no strength to push aside the dresser to keep me safe.
The phone came alive in my hands, claiming my attention.
Incoming call from Unknown Number. Answer?
The device vibrated urgently, begging me to accept its challenge.
Jethro…
My soul wept. I wanted so, so, so much to answer.
But I can’t.
Locking the phone screen, I shoved it under my pillow.
You didn’t delete the last message.
The door swung open.
Too late.
Daniel appeared, gloating and cocky. “It’s time for another game, Nila. And we can’t be late.”
I couldn’t form words, but it didn’t stop me from vocalizing my terror.
Bonnie kicked me, laughing harder. “I think an hour or two in the Scold’s Bridle will do you a world of good. Now be a good girl, and endure your punishment.”
The tiny bell saved me.
My heart asphyxiated all over again, remembering the dense heat, the overwhelming panic of the bridle. I never wanted to relive that again. Ever.
You’re free. It’s over.
I didn’t think it was possible, but the bridle was worse than the chair. Even remembering it caused the walls to warp, squeezing me uncomfortably tight.
I had a new affliction: claustrophobia.
Unknown Number: I sense you’re not telling me something. Remember what I used to call you? My naughty nun? God, I was such an arse. I fell for you even then. I think I was in love with you even before I set eyes on you.
All residual fear and ailments from the past week vanished. Fear was a strong emotion, but it had nothing on love.
Fresh tears cascaded over my cheeks.
You have no idea how much I wish to return to such innocence.
To only suffer worries of fashion lines and unpaid custom orders or whether Vaughn had ordered enough taupe buttons. Such frivolous problems—such easily solved concerns.
Not like what I deal with now.
My heart broke all over again. The punishment of abuse slowly turned my mind and body into rubble, fit only for sleep or death.
Needle&Thread: I love you so much.
Unknown Number: I love you more. I love you with every breath I take and every heartbeat I live. I love you more every day.
Tingles shot from my scalp to my toes.
Needle&Thread: I wish you were here. I’d kiss you and touch you and fall asleep in your arms.
Unknown Number: If you fell asleep in my arms, I’d hold you all night and keep you safe. I’d trespass on your dreams and make sure you know you belong to me and give you a future you deserve.
Needle&Thread: What do I deserve? What sort of future do you envision?
Unknown Number: You deserve everything that I am and more. You deserve happiness on top of happiness. You deserve protection and adoration and the knowledge that we will never be apart. You deserve so fucking much, and I mean to give you all of it.
I sighed, feeling the warmest, softest blanket covering me. Jethro might not be here physically, but spiritually he was. His unwhispered words were hugs, and his concern the sweetest of kisses.
Needle&Thread: Just tell me we’ll get through this. Tell me that we’ll be together and grow old together and build a life that no one can take from us ever again.
His reply took a moment, but when my phone chimed, he somehow gave me everything his family had stripped from me. He deleted the appalling events and gave me hope.
Unknown Number: Not only do I plan on having you by my side forever, but I want you as my wife. I want you as the mother of my children. I want you as my lover and best friend. We’ll get through this. It will all be over soon. And when it is, things will change for the better. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, Nila, and proving that you took a coward and made him want to be a hero. Your hero.
My lips wobbled with happy tears. I whispered, “I love you, Kite.”
Staring at my phone, I read and reread his messages. As much as I wanted to print them off and sleep wrapped up in his words, I had to delete them.
I couldn’t run the risk of Cut finding them.
I had no choice.
Die or kill.
Fight or defeat.
It killed me to drag the entire conversation to the trash and remove it.
Come save me soon.
Come end this before it's too late.
My happiness suddenly squashed as the walls squeezed in on all sides. My mind ricocheted backward, probing old memories.
I couldn’t move from the floor in the alcove. I didn’t know which way was up. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t speak. All I could do was hold onto the slate tiles and ride wave after wave of vertigo and claustrophobia.
My racing heart deleted years off my lifespan with undiluted panic.
I passed out.
It was a blessing.
By the time Bonnie returned to undo the padlock, I was no longer coherent.
Shaking my head, I rubbed my face.
How many tortures had Elisa suffered before she’d been ‘purified’?
Unknown Number: Goddammit, Nila. I need you so much. I need to show you how much I love you. How much I miss you.
My heart was in pieces without him.
Needle&Thread: I need you, too. So much. Too much. When we’re together again, I’m going to—
A noise wrenched my head up.
No!
My eyes fell on the unprotected door.
Please no!
The one awful thing about being so sick was I’d had no strength to push aside the dresser to keep me safe.
The phone came alive in my hands, claiming my attention.
Incoming call from Unknown Number. Answer?
The device vibrated urgently, begging me to accept its challenge.
Jethro…
My soul wept. I wanted so, so, so much to answer.
But I can’t.
Locking the phone screen, I shoved it under my pillow.
You didn’t delete the last message.
The door swung open.
Too late.
Daniel appeared, gloating and cocky. “It’s time for another game, Nila. And we can’t be late.”
