Fourth Debt
Page 71
My eyes closed as the first snip turned me into a stranger.
Physically, I couldn’t feel pain, but spiritually, I howled in anguish. It hurt. It hurt so so much to have such a poignant piece of me stolen without fighting, without screaming, without protecting what made me me.
The second snip broke me.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
The third snip destroyed me.
Stop, stop, stop…
The fourth snip completely annihilated me.
I have nothing left.
“Can’t tell you how satisfying this is.” Daniel laughed, cutting with no finesse, hacking through the thick black strands.
I was alone in this.
Alone and shorn like some animal for slaughter.
All I could do was mourn silently.
Snip, snip, snip.
My curtain of ebony hair disappeared with every scissor-slice. Cascades of thick blackness puddled, devastated and dead, on the blood-red rug. I’d given up the last part of me—the final toll for my brother’s freedom.
I’m doing it for him, for love, for family, for hope.
I said goodbye.
To my youth.
To my childhood.
Snip, snip, snip…
This was the end.
Snip, snip, snip…
It was over.
I BECAME SOMEONE I never knew I was capable of.
A monster.
An avenger.
The hero I needed to be.
Nobody would touch her again.
Not me.
Not my family.
Not even pain itself.
I stepped onto Hawksridge land. My land. My legacy.
I’m here for you, Nila.
I’ll fix this.
I just hoped I wasn’t too late.
SLEEP.
It was the only peace I got these days.
Peace from my fracturing soul. Peace from breaking.
They’d won.
They’d finally broken me. Finally proven that no one had unlimited resources to remain strong. That we all break eventually.
I wasn’t proud of myself.
I hated that I’d lost.
But at least Vaughn was safe. At least I’d done right by him.
I had no weapons to defend myself. No energy to push aside the dresser and protect myself. My belief that I could ruin them disappeared into dust.
Nothing mattered anymore.
I was theirs to do with what they wanted. And my heart was officially empty.
My reflection in the bathroom mirror showed a terrifying transformation. Hollows existed in my cheeks, shadows ringed my eyes, and the blood on my chest glowed with crimson fire.
But it was my missing hair that hurt the most.
Ragged and shorn, my glossy black strands were now in tatters. They hung over my ears, all different lengths, hacked into dysfunction by Daniel’s sheers. I no longer looked like Nila Weaver, daughter of Tex, sister to Vaughn, empress to a company worth millions. I looked like a runaway, a slave, a girl who’d seen death and no longer existed with the living.
I look ready to pay the Final Debt.
I feel ready to pay the final price.
There was no power left inside me.
Staring into my black eyes, I shivered at my listlessness.
They didn’t even let me say goodbye.
The moment the last strand hit the floor, Marquise had marched Vaughn from the room without a backward glance. I’d never seen V so wild or so helpless.
In two seconds, he’d disappeared.
I’d wanted to cry, to sob, to snap.
But I’d just stood there until Cut gave me permission to leave.
I was in a billion pieces.
How can I ever find my way back when I have no more glue to fix myself?
Bowing my head, I hated the unfamiliarity, the frigid breeze whistling around the back of my neck. My head was light as air and heavy with thunderclouds.
I’d lost everything. My backbone. My faith. They’d stolen more from me than just vanity—they’d stolen my right to myself.
I didn’t look away as I washed and tended. I couldn’t stop staring at my new face.
I didn’t have kind words to bolster my courage. I didn’t have hope to patch up my weeping heart. All I had was emptiness and the bone-deep desire to go to sleep and forget.
Using a torn piece of calico, I washed my wound as best as I could. Water whisked away the blood, but nothing could wash away the filth existing inside me.
I’d given up.
I’d vanished just as surely as Cut had won.
I was done.
Stumbling from the bathroom, I left behind the last remaining part of me. I said goodbye to the woman I once knew and fell face first into bed.
No thoughts.
No wishes.
Just emptiness.
I let sleep consume me.
Jethro smiled, holding me close.
His body heat, normally negligible with his cold temperature, roared with love and healing.
“I’ve got you now, Nila. It’s okay. I’ll make it all go away.”
Having someone look after me after so long, undammed my tears, and I fell into his embrace. “I’ve missed you so much. I tried to be strong. I tried.” I cried harder. “I tried to be so strong but it’s not enough. Nothing will ever be enough. I’m empty. I’m lost. I don’t know how to get back.”
Jethro’s lips kissed my forehead. “You’re so strong. You’ll heal. Hush. I’ve got you. You’ll be alright. Hush.” He rocked me, soothing my hair, never letting me go.
“I can’t do this anymore, Jethro. I can’t.” I curled into his arms, wanting to fade away and stop everything. “There’s nothing left. I have nothing…nothing!”
Physically, I couldn’t feel pain, but spiritually, I howled in anguish. It hurt. It hurt so so much to have such a poignant piece of me stolen without fighting, without screaming, without protecting what made me me.
The second snip broke me.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
The third snip destroyed me.
Stop, stop, stop…
The fourth snip completely annihilated me.
I have nothing left.
“Can’t tell you how satisfying this is.” Daniel laughed, cutting with no finesse, hacking through the thick black strands.
I was alone in this.
Alone and shorn like some animal for slaughter.
All I could do was mourn silently.
Snip, snip, snip.
My curtain of ebony hair disappeared with every scissor-slice. Cascades of thick blackness puddled, devastated and dead, on the blood-red rug. I’d given up the last part of me—the final toll for my brother’s freedom.
I’m doing it for him, for love, for family, for hope.
I said goodbye.
To my youth.
To my childhood.
Snip, snip, snip…
This was the end.
Snip, snip, snip…
It was over.
I BECAME SOMEONE I never knew I was capable of.
A monster.
An avenger.
The hero I needed to be.
Nobody would touch her again.
Not me.
Not my family.
Not even pain itself.
I stepped onto Hawksridge land. My land. My legacy.
I’m here for you, Nila.
I’ll fix this.
I just hoped I wasn’t too late.
SLEEP.
It was the only peace I got these days.
Peace from my fracturing soul. Peace from breaking.
They’d won.
They’d finally broken me. Finally proven that no one had unlimited resources to remain strong. That we all break eventually.
I wasn’t proud of myself.
I hated that I’d lost.
But at least Vaughn was safe. At least I’d done right by him.
I had no weapons to defend myself. No energy to push aside the dresser and protect myself. My belief that I could ruin them disappeared into dust.
Nothing mattered anymore.
I was theirs to do with what they wanted. And my heart was officially empty.
My reflection in the bathroom mirror showed a terrifying transformation. Hollows existed in my cheeks, shadows ringed my eyes, and the blood on my chest glowed with crimson fire.
But it was my missing hair that hurt the most.
Ragged and shorn, my glossy black strands were now in tatters. They hung over my ears, all different lengths, hacked into dysfunction by Daniel’s sheers. I no longer looked like Nila Weaver, daughter of Tex, sister to Vaughn, empress to a company worth millions. I looked like a runaway, a slave, a girl who’d seen death and no longer existed with the living.
I look ready to pay the Final Debt.
I feel ready to pay the final price.
There was no power left inside me.
Staring into my black eyes, I shivered at my listlessness.
They didn’t even let me say goodbye.
The moment the last strand hit the floor, Marquise had marched Vaughn from the room without a backward glance. I’d never seen V so wild or so helpless.
In two seconds, he’d disappeared.
I’d wanted to cry, to sob, to snap.
But I’d just stood there until Cut gave me permission to leave.
I was in a billion pieces.
How can I ever find my way back when I have no more glue to fix myself?
Bowing my head, I hated the unfamiliarity, the frigid breeze whistling around the back of my neck. My head was light as air and heavy with thunderclouds.
I’d lost everything. My backbone. My faith. They’d stolen more from me than just vanity—they’d stolen my right to myself.
I didn’t look away as I washed and tended. I couldn’t stop staring at my new face.
I didn’t have kind words to bolster my courage. I didn’t have hope to patch up my weeping heart. All I had was emptiness and the bone-deep desire to go to sleep and forget.
Using a torn piece of calico, I washed my wound as best as I could. Water whisked away the blood, but nothing could wash away the filth existing inside me.
I’d given up.
I’d vanished just as surely as Cut had won.
I was done.
Stumbling from the bathroom, I left behind the last remaining part of me. I said goodbye to the woman I once knew and fell face first into bed.
No thoughts.
No wishes.
Just emptiness.
I let sleep consume me.
Jethro smiled, holding me close.
His body heat, normally negligible with his cold temperature, roared with love and healing.
“I’ve got you now, Nila. It’s okay. I’ll make it all go away.”
Having someone look after me after so long, undammed my tears, and I fell into his embrace. “I’ve missed you so much. I tried to be strong. I tried.” I cried harder. “I tried to be so strong but it’s not enough. Nothing will ever be enough. I’m empty. I’m lost. I don’t know how to get back.”
Jethro’s lips kissed my forehead. “You’re so strong. You’ll heal. Hush. I’ve got you. You’ll be alright. Hush.” He rocked me, soothing my hair, never letting me go.
“I can’t do this anymore, Jethro. I can’t.” I curled into his arms, wanting to fade away and stop everything. “There’s nothing left. I have nothing…nothing!”
