Fourth Debt
Page 73
The bird screeched, bouncing up and down with impatience. Its sudden agitation forced me to yank harder. The roll of paper fell away, dropping to the sill.
With the heavy bird on one hand, I did my best to unroll the scroll and read.
However, the raptor didn’t wait. It had done its duty—it had delivered its message. Without a backward glance, it soared off my hand and slipped like a winged demon through the window crack and into the sky. Instantly, the camouflage of its feathers vanished against twinkling stars.
My heart steadily increased its tempo; my breathing turned erratic. Pinching the note, I smoothed it out until the finest, tantalizing, most miraculous sentence I’d ever seen imprinted on my brain.
Come to the stables.
My knees wobbled.
My heart grew wings.
Jethro.
He’s here.
He’s come back for me.
I am not forgotten.
MY LIFE WASN’T mine anymore.
It was hers.
Hers.
Hers.
I’d told her that, but I didn’t think she believed me. But now I was back. I was alive and ready and motherfucking angry. She was mine to protect and adore, and up till now, I’d failed her.
I should never have brought her here. I should’ve had a fucking backbone and ended this when Cut killed Emma. I should’ve found help for my condition the night I hurt Jasmine. I should’ve ended their evil the day my mother couldn’t cope.
So much history, so many lessons and decisions. At the time, I’d played the game—I’d waited and learned and prayed.
But I’d been stupid to think there was any other conclusion.
It’d taken Nila to slap me awake, electrocute my heart with her courage, and show me that I was a good person inside. That the thoughts I suffered—of torture and ruin—weren’t mine. That the horrors I’d committed in the name of family values didn’t make me the monster I’d been groomed to be.
I’m my own person.
And it was time to show Nila just what a transformation I’d undergone.
The moment she appeared on the ridge, I struggled to breathe.
Nila…
The moonlight cast her in silver as she padded down the small hill, her white legs flashing beneath the white hem of her nightgown. A long black coat swamped her body, while a hood covered her head, fluttering around her face. She didn’t run. She glided over the frost-glittering grass.
I wanted her to soar to me. To fly.
But something was wrong. She moved too slowly. Like a woman who’d lost her fire.
My heart shattered as she slowly closed the distance. She looked magical and mystical and far too precious to tame.
But I had tamed her. And she’d tamed me.
Come faster, Nila.
Hurry.
My hands curled as she didn’t increase her pace. I stayed where I was, lurking in shadows, waiting.
My body vibrated, wanting so fucking much to charge toward her. To tackle her on the soft grass and kiss her senseless beneath the stars. I couldn’t stand another second without her in my arms.
I took a step onto the cobblestone courtyard.
Don’t.
Common-sense forced me back into the shade. I couldn’t leave the safety of the stables—couldn’t risk anyone seeing me from the Hall.
Wait.
Every second was fucking torture.
She moved as straight and true as the kestrel I’d sent her.
Kes.
His name and memory was a stain upon my joy.
My brother had to survive because he deserved to see the new future. He and Jasmine were owed a happier life than the one we’d been dealt.
I wanted them by my side when I introduced Nila to Hawksridge and showed her that this place had not been kind to her, but once it was mine, it would be our private haven.
Come. Faster. Run.
My heart thundered with erratic syncopation.
Nila skidded down the small incline, the flash of glittery ballet flats catching moonshine.
Every step brought her closer. I sighed heavily. The throb from my rib faded; the twinge from my newly removed stitches disappeared. For the first time since waking up in the hospital, I felt truly healed. My body had mended, but without her, my soul would’ve been torn forever.
Trading grass for cobblestones, Nila’s shoes slapped quietly, closing the distance between us. Her breathing wheezed—as if she’d been sick but healing—and her hood hid her stunning long hair.
My skin sparked as she sprinted around the mounting block and sailed through the double doors of the stables.
Finally.
I grabbed her.
She screamed as my arms snaked around her, trapping her vibrating form, saying hello with echoing heartbeats. Spinning her in my hold, I planted both hands on her hips and walked her backward to the wall.
I never stopped moving.
Pushing, shoving, coming fucking apart at having her in my arms.
Her eyes met mine. Her fright disappeared, consuming me under an avalanche of love. “Oh, my God...it’s true…you’re here.”
I smiled, opening myself completely. I fed off her happiness, loving how deeply she cared for me. I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t deserve such unconditional acceptance. But something shadowed her. She felt…different…quieter. She didn’t have her usual spark or vibrant will.
My soul growled at the thought of her fading from me.
I’d bring her back.
I will.
Her back hit the brick wall, my hands soared from her hips to her cheeks, and nothing else fucking mattered. “Christ, I’ve missed you.” Ducking my head, I captured her mouth in a brutal kiss.
With the heavy bird on one hand, I did my best to unroll the scroll and read.
However, the raptor didn’t wait. It had done its duty—it had delivered its message. Without a backward glance, it soared off my hand and slipped like a winged demon through the window crack and into the sky. Instantly, the camouflage of its feathers vanished against twinkling stars.
My heart steadily increased its tempo; my breathing turned erratic. Pinching the note, I smoothed it out until the finest, tantalizing, most miraculous sentence I’d ever seen imprinted on my brain.
Come to the stables.
My knees wobbled.
My heart grew wings.
Jethro.
He’s here.
He’s come back for me.
I am not forgotten.
MY LIFE WASN’T mine anymore.
It was hers.
Hers.
Hers.
I’d told her that, but I didn’t think she believed me. But now I was back. I was alive and ready and motherfucking angry. She was mine to protect and adore, and up till now, I’d failed her.
I should never have brought her here. I should’ve had a fucking backbone and ended this when Cut killed Emma. I should’ve found help for my condition the night I hurt Jasmine. I should’ve ended their evil the day my mother couldn’t cope.
So much history, so many lessons and decisions. At the time, I’d played the game—I’d waited and learned and prayed.
But I’d been stupid to think there was any other conclusion.
It’d taken Nila to slap me awake, electrocute my heart with her courage, and show me that I was a good person inside. That the thoughts I suffered—of torture and ruin—weren’t mine. That the horrors I’d committed in the name of family values didn’t make me the monster I’d been groomed to be.
I’m my own person.
And it was time to show Nila just what a transformation I’d undergone.
The moment she appeared on the ridge, I struggled to breathe.
Nila…
The moonlight cast her in silver as she padded down the small hill, her white legs flashing beneath the white hem of her nightgown. A long black coat swamped her body, while a hood covered her head, fluttering around her face. She didn’t run. She glided over the frost-glittering grass.
I wanted her to soar to me. To fly.
But something was wrong. She moved too slowly. Like a woman who’d lost her fire.
My heart shattered as she slowly closed the distance. She looked magical and mystical and far too precious to tame.
But I had tamed her. And she’d tamed me.
Come faster, Nila.
Hurry.
My hands curled as she didn’t increase her pace. I stayed where I was, lurking in shadows, waiting.
My body vibrated, wanting so fucking much to charge toward her. To tackle her on the soft grass and kiss her senseless beneath the stars. I couldn’t stand another second without her in my arms.
I took a step onto the cobblestone courtyard.
Don’t.
Common-sense forced me back into the shade. I couldn’t leave the safety of the stables—couldn’t risk anyone seeing me from the Hall.
Wait.
Every second was fucking torture.
She moved as straight and true as the kestrel I’d sent her.
Kes.
His name and memory was a stain upon my joy.
My brother had to survive because he deserved to see the new future. He and Jasmine were owed a happier life than the one we’d been dealt.
I wanted them by my side when I introduced Nila to Hawksridge and showed her that this place had not been kind to her, but once it was mine, it would be our private haven.
Come. Faster. Run.
My heart thundered with erratic syncopation.
Nila skidded down the small incline, the flash of glittery ballet flats catching moonshine.
Every step brought her closer. I sighed heavily. The throb from my rib faded; the twinge from my newly removed stitches disappeared. For the first time since waking up in the hospital, I felt truly healed. My body had mended, but without her, my soul would’ve been torn forever.
Trading grass for cobblestones, Nila’s shoes slapped quietly, closing the distance between us. Her breathing wheezed—as if she’d been sick but healing—and her hood hid her stunning long hair.
My skin sparked as she sprinted around the mounting block and sailed through the double doors of the stables.
Finally.
I grabbed her.
She screamed as my arms snaked around her, trapping her vibrating form, saying hello with echoing heartbeats. Spinning her in my hold, I planted both hands on her hips and walked her backward to the wall.
I never stopped moving.
Pushing, shoving, coming fucking apart at having her in my arms.
Her eyes met mine. Her fright disappeared, consuming me under an avalanche of love. “Oh, my God...it’s true…you’re here.”
I smiled, opening myself completely. I fed off her happiness, loving how deeply she cared for me. I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t deserve such unconditional acceptance. But something shadowed her. She felt…different…quieter. She didn’t have her usual spark or vibrant will.
My soul growled at the thought of her fading from me.
I’d bring her back.
I will.
Her back hit the brick wall, my hands soared from her hips to her cheeks, and nothing else fucking mattered. “Christ, I’ve missed you.” Ducking my head, I captured her mouth in a brutal kiss.
