Fragile Eternity
Page 82
Have faith in us?
Youvanished without any explanation and were gone forsix months. She tucked her feet up under her. I thought you werent coming back. You left me without a wordafter refusing to talk to me. She wasnt sure if it was temper or sorrow that was welling up inside of her. You vanished.
How long? he asked.
What?
Until you were with him? How long did he wait, Ash?
She had never been truly angry with him, not once, but right then she wouldve gladly struck him. After six months of being worried and hurt and afraid, she finally felt the anger she hadnt allowed herself before.
You left me. The words were bitten off.
I had a chance to get to the faery who could give me forever with you. The timing sucked, but Seth stopped. I didnt know Id be gone so long. Im sorry it happened that way. I saw a chance. I took it.
I waited. We sent faeries to look for you. I tried to talk to Niallto Bananach. I waited for six months. She clasped her hands together to keep from gesturing.
Theyd never had a fight; theyd never had a reason for one either.
She looked down at her hands until her temper stilled. I thought you had abandoned me. Niall said
The Dark King whos pissed at you told you something that made you doubt me, and you believed him. Seth crooked his brow.
There was a girl in the backgroundin the voice mail
Bananach. War. She took me to
You left withBananach ? What were you thinking?
I was thinking it was worth the risk if it meant forever with my faery girlfriend. He spoke very softly. I was thinking that being with you was worth the risk. She took me to Sorcha, and I made a deal so I could be in your world the whole way, so Id be strong enough to not need guards and babysitters, so Id be able to be around for you forever.
And the cost? She was afraid. She was a faeryand apparently he was too, nowbut faery bargains werent renowned for their fairness.
A month with Sorcha every year.
You were gonesix months.
I was with her for a month. In Faerie. He looked at her with a plea to understand, to agree that he didnt make a mistake. Niall told me she was the one who could make me this. No one else was willing to help. It was only thirty days for me. I didnt know that it was longer for you.
So every year she prompted.
I leave for what feels like a month to me and six months to you.
For the rest of your life.
He nodded.
She tried to make sense of his being gone, of his being around for eternity. It didnt make sense yet. He was hers, but at what price? Her heart raced as she thought about what hed sacrificed. And when youre there, is it awful?
No. Its almost perfect. The only thing that kept it from perfection was that you werent with me. He looked enthralled as he spoke. Faerie is incredible, and my only task is to createand thats it. I walk in the gardens. I think. I create. Its amazing there.
AndSorcha?
The expression on his face was one of tenderness and of longing. Shes perfection too. She is kind and gentle and wise and funny although she doesnt admit it.
Oh. Her stomach twisted. He found eternity, but hed found a queen as well. Aislinn wanted to not feel jealous, but shed be worried for months and hed been off falling for another faery queen. So when youre there, youre with
No. Its not like that at all. He scowled. Shes my queen, my patron, a muse. Its like having a family, Ash. Shes the mother I nevernot that Linda doesnt love mebut Sorcha isshes perfect.
They sat there silently for a while until she couldnt stand it anymore. So now what?
He shook his head. I dont know. We figure out how to make it okay?
But it was very much not okay. Hed risked it all to find forever with her, and shed had so little faith in what they shared that shed fallen into Keenans arms.
Its where she was headed already.
He looked at her and admitted to himself that maybe it wasnt his mortality that had stood in the way, but someone else. As long as she was the Summer Queen, shed be with Keenan. Theyd have their revelry and their meetings and their late-night arguments.
And I just destined myself to watch them do this for decades, for centuries.
Did you sleep with him? He waited, needing to hear her say it, needing to know.
I thought you were gone, and I didnt want to love anyone elseand hes my friendand I care about him and
So thats a yes? His heart sounded like it was thundering in his ears.
NoHe turned me down. She looked like she was going to start weeping. I just wanted to stop hurting. I felt empty, and the court was weakening from mywallowing.
I love you. He pulled her to him and kissed her the way he had dreamed of when they were apart. She didnt resist at all. It was almost like it had been before, but how it was before wasnt good enough anymore. Hed been patient. Hed been willing to not feel jealous of Keenan because hed believed that Keenan would be around to love her after he had died.
With effort, he stopped kissing her. I dont want to share you with him. Not anymore. Im not going to die. Im not going to be so easily broken now. And Im not going to watch him look at you the same way I do.
I cant walk away from my court.
Or him. Seth could see the threads of possibility. There were paths that twisted and looped. There were possibilities he couldnt see, which meant that he was in them. In others, though, she was with Keenan.
Hes my king, she whispered.
Youvanished without any explanation and were gone forsix months. She tucked her feet up under her. I thought you werent coming back. You left me without a wordafter refusing to talk to me. She wasnt sure if it was temper or sorrow that was welling up inside of her. You vanished.
How long? he asked.
What?
Until you were with him? How long did he wait, Ash?
She had never been truly angry with him, not once, but right then she wouldve gladly struck him. After six months of being worried and hurt and afraid, she finally felt the anger she hadnt allowed herself before.
You left me. The words were bitten off.
I had a chance to get to the faery who could give me forever with you. The timing sucked, but Seth stopped. I didnt know Id be gone so long. Im sorry it happened that way. I saw a chance. I took it.
I waited. We sent faeries to look for you. I tried to talk to Niallto Bananach. I waited for six months. She clasped her hands together to keep from gesturing.
Theyd never had a fight; theyd never had a reason for one either.
She looked down at her hands until her temper stilled. I thought you had abandoned me. Niall said
The Dark King whos pissed at you told you something that made you doubt me, and you believed him. Seth crooked his brow.
There was a girl in the backgroundin the voice mail
Bananach. War. She took me to
You left withBananach ? What were you thinking?
I was thinking it was worth the risk if it meant forever with my faery girlfriend. He spoke very softly. I was thinking that being with you was worth the risk. She took me to Sorcha, and I made a deal so I could be in your world the whole way, so Id be strong enough to not need guards and babysitters, so Id be able to be around for you forever.
And the cost? She was afraid. She was a faeryand apparently he was too, nowbut faery bargains werent renowned for their fairness.
A month with Sorcha every year.
You were gonesix months.
I was with her for a month. In Faerie. He looked at her with a plea to understand, to agree that he didnt make a mistake. Niall told me she was the one who could make me this. No one else was willing to help. It was only thirty days for me. I didnt know that it was longer for you.
So every year she prompted.
I leave for what feels like a month to me and six months to you.
For the rest of your life.
He nodded.
She tried to make sense of his being gone, of his being around for eternity. It didnt make sense yet. He was hers, but at what price? Her heart raced as she thought about what hed sacrificed. And when youre there, is it awful?
No. Its almost perfect. The only thing that kept it from perfection was that you werent with me. He looked enthralled as he spoke. Faerie is incredible, and my only task is to createand thats it. I walk in the gardens. I think. I create. Its amazing there.
AndSorcha?
The expression on his face was one of tenderness and of longing. Shes perfection too. She is kind and gentle and wise and funny although she doesnt admit it.
Oh. Her stomach twisted. He found eternity, but hed found a queen as well. Aislinn wanted to not feel jealous, but shed be worried for months and hed been off falling for another faery queen. So when youre there, youre with
No. Its not like that at all. He scowled. Shes my queen, my patron, a muse. Its like having a family, Ash. Shes the mother I nevernot that Linda doesnt love mebut Sorcha isshes perfect.
They sat there silently for a while until she couldnt stand it anymore. So now what?
He shook his head. I dont know. We figure out how to make it okay?
But it was very much not okay. Hed risked it all to find forever with her, and shed had so little faith in what they shared that shed fallen into Keenans arms.
Its where she was headed already.
He looked at her and admitted to himself that maybe it wasnt his mortality that had stood in the way, but someone else. As long as she was the Summer Queen, shed be with Keenan. Theyd have their revelry and their meetings and their late-night arguments.
And I just destined myself to watch them do this for decades, for centuries.
Did you sleep with him? He waited, needing to hear her say it, needing to know.
I thought you were gone, and I didnt want to love anyone elseand hes my friendand I care about him and
So thats a yes? His heart sounded like it was thundering in his ears.
NoHe turned me down. She looked like she was going to start weeping. I just wanted to stop hurting. I felt empty, and the court was weakening from mywallowing.
I love you. He pulled her to him and kissed her the way he had dreamed of when they were apart. She didnt resist at all. It was almost like it had been before, but how it was before wasnt good enough anymore. Hed been patient. Hed been willing to not feel jealous of Keenan because hed believed that Keenan would be around to love her after he had died.
With effort, he stopped kissing her. I dont want to share you with him. Not anymore. Im not going to die. Im not going to be so easily broken now. And Im not going to watch him look at you the same way I do.
I cant walk away from my court.
Or him. Seth could see the threads of possibility. There were paths that twisted and looped. There were possibilities he couldnt see, which meant that he was in them. In others, though, she was with Keenan.
Hes my king, she whispered.
