From Ashes
Page 15
I bit my tongue and held the door open for her before going to the driver’s side and sliding in. “Cassidy, you can talk to me. I know this upsets you, don’t act like it doesn’t.”
“What do you want me to say, Gage?!” she snapped as she struggled to get her seat belt buckled. I reached over and took it out of her hands, buckling it for her. She sat back with a huff and mashed her lips into a line.
After cranking the car and turning on the AC, I left the car in park and just watched her, hoping she’d finally let me in. We could talk for hours, but as soon as it got personal like this, she shut off and would run to Tyler. Every. Time. Her phone chimed and while she searched through her purse it chimed again. She read it, her jaw dropped, and she shakily started tapping on the screen, holding it to her ear. I saw her eyes fill with tears.
“Ty,” she choked out, “Ty, please call me back.” A line of tears fell down her left cheek as she ended the call. I’d never even seen her tear up before this.
“Cassidy.” The need to hold her was too much; I took off her seat belt and pulled her over to me. “Please talk to me, who texted you?”
Her shoulders shook as she clung to my arm, but she didn’t respond. Her phone was resting on her leg and I picked it up. Giving her the time to stop me, I opened up her texts and had to read them twice to make sure I was reading them correctly.
MOM
Just got a call saying you tried to withdraw money from the accounts. You really think you did anything to deserve that money? I had to put up with you for 18 years, someone needed to pay me for that.
MOM
OH! Almost forgot . . . Happy you-killed-your-father day.
I cursed and squeezed her tighter to me. “Cassidy, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that.” I cupped her face and stared deep into her whiskey-colored eyes; my heart broke seeing this beautiful girl cry. “You’re amazing and perfect, and your mom is a worthless human being.”
“I just don’t understand why she hates me.” She sobbed and put her face on my chest. “I understand some of the drinking, but not Jeff, not her leaving me to completely fend for myself, not the—not the—” She choked on another sob and tried to pull away but I held her there.
There was nothing else I could say in that moment. If there were words that could have comforted her, I would have said every single one of them. But she didn’t need words, she just needed someone there. I leaned back against the driver’s-side door and pulled her onto me so she was leaning into my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I tried to let her feel everything I wasn’t allowed to tell her. That she was unlike any other girl in the world, that she was wanted and cherished, that I loved her with everything in me. No reason trying to tell myself that wasn’t what this was anymore; there was no doubt in my mind I was in love with Cassidy. She consumed me in a way I never thought imaginable, and hell if I didn’t love that too.
Her phone rang and she sat up suddenly. “Ty?” There was a short pause. “I need you. Can you go home?”
And there went my heart.
“I’ll meet you there, I love you too.” She wiped under her eyes and I watched as her face went into that carefully composed mask of indifference.
I held in a painful sigh as I put my truck in reverse and started home. Nothing like hearing the girl of your dreams tell someone else she needs and loves him.
The drive home was silent and uncomfortable. I wanted to touch her, hold her hand, anything. But I knew that wouldn’t help, since I wasn’t the person who had always helped her through her hard times. When we pulled into the lot and she saw Tyler’s Jeep, she jumped out of the truck before I even put it in park and ran for our apartment. I jogged after her, and immediately wished I hadn’t. Ty swung the door open and she jumped into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. He spoke softly to her as he walked them back to their room, and though I wanted to be anywhere but near the two of them, I couldn’t make myself leave. Didn’t matter if she didn’t need me; I needed to know she was okay, so I sat down on the couch and waited for them to come back out.
They didn’t come out until it was time to leave for her dinner. I stood up when the door opened and my jaw dropped when Cassidy came practically bouncing out of the room, a big smile on her face. Had I just imagined that morning? Or did they just have that good of a time—never mind, I didn’t want to think about that.
“Ty said we’re going out, are you ready?” She beamed her bright smile at me.
“Uh, yeah. I guess.”
“Oh. Well, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I understand.”
Understand what? “No, I’ll go.”
“Really?” She seemed genuinely surprised; her eyes lit up and her smile changed. It softened but was even more beautiful. Then suddenly it fell and she whispered softly, “I know you’re worried about it, Gage, but I will get a job so you and Ty aren’t paying for me anymore. I’m sorry you had to be there for that today.”
What. The. Hell. Just—what?! Before I could ask where she would even get an idea as dumb as that, Tyler stepped into the living room.
“Ready, birthday girl?”
Cassidy just rolled her eyes and laughed as we all left the apartment. I’m sure Tyler was getting pissed by the end of dinner, but I couldn’t seem to do anything other than stare at her the entire night. The last thing she wanted was for her birthday to roll around, and then after this morning I was prepared to cancel on everyone tonight. But there she sat, bubbly and adorable as ever. Not one of those people would have imagined anything bad had happened to her, or that today was harder for her than she could describe. I knew how rare it was for her to break down like she had that morning, but this was blowing my mind. She was ridiculously happy; her cheeks had to be hurting from how much she was laughing and smiling. And even when Lanie got teary eyed telling Cassidy that her boyfriend broke up with her, Cassidy was sad for her, and helped her plot a girls’ night to help her get over the dick. This was her day, and a hard day, but not one ounce of Cassidy was thinking about herself. Though I still wished I could take her away and give her the opportunity to actually grieve and be upset over things that had happened, it was times like this that made me fall in love with her more.
“What do you want me to say, Gage?!” she snapped as she struggled to get her seat belt buckled. I reached over and took it out of her hands, buckling it for her. She sat back with a huff and mashed her lips into a line.
After cranking the car and turning on the AC, I left the car in park and just watched her, hoping she’d finally let me in. We could talk for hours, but as soon as it got personal like this, she shut off and would run to Tyler. Every. Time. Her phone chimed and while she searched through her purse it chimed again. She read it, her jaw dropped, and she shakily started tapping on the screen, holding it to her ear. I saw her eyes fill with tears.
“Ty,” she choked out, “Ty, please call me back.” A line of tears fell down her left cheek as she ended the call. I’d never even seen her tear up before this.
“Cassidy.” The need to hold her was too much; I took off her seat belt and pulled her over to me. “Please talk to me, who texted you?”
Her shoulders shook as she clung to my arm, but she didn’t respond. Her phone was resting on her leg and I picked it up. Giving her the time to stop me, I opened up her texts and had to read them twice to make sure I was reading them correctly.
MOM
Just got a call saying you tried to withdraw money from the accounts. You really think you did anything to deserve that money? I had to put up with you for 18 years, someone needed to pay me for that.
MOM
OH! Almost forgot . . . Happy you-killed-your-father day.
I cursed and squeezed her tighter to me. “Cassidy, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that.” I cupped her face and stared deep into her whiskey-colored eyes; my heart broke seeing this beautiful girl cry. “You’re amazing and perfect, and your mom is a worthless human being.”
“I just don’t understand why she hates me.” She sobbed and put her face on my chest. “I understand some of the drinking, but not Jeff, not her leaving me to completely fend for myself, not the—not the—” She choked on another sob and tried to pull away but I held her there.
There was nothing else I could say in that moment. If there were words that could have comforted her, I would have said every single one of them. But she didn’t need words, she just needed someone there. I leaned back against the driver’s-side door and pulled her onto me so she was leaning into my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I tried to let her feel everything I wasn’t allowed to tell her. That she was unlike any other girl in the world, that she was wanted and cherished, that I loved her with everything in me. No reason trying to tell myself that wasn’t what this was anymore; there was no doubt in my mind I was in love with Cassidy. She consumed me in a way I never thought imaginable, and hell if I didn’t love that too.
Her phone rang and she sat up suddenly. “Ty?” There was a short pause. “I need you. Can you go home?”
And there went my heart.
“I’ll meet you there, I love you too.” She wiped under her eyes and I watched as her face went into that carefully composed mask of indifference.
I held in a painful sigh as I put my truck in reverse and started home. Nothing like hearing the girl of your dreams tell someone else she needs and loves him.
The drive home was silent and uncomfortable. I wanted to touch her, hold her hand, anything. But I knew that wouldn’t help, since I wasn’t the person who had always helped her through her hard times. When we pulled into the lot and she saw Tyler’s Jeep, she jumped out of the truck before I even put it in park and ran for our apartment. I jogged after her, and immediately wished I hadn’t. Ty swung the door open and she jumped into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. He spoke softly to her as he walked them back to their room, and though I wanted to be anywhere but near the two of them, I couldn’t make myself leave. Didn’t matter if she didn’t need me; I needed to know she was okay, so I sat down on the couch and waited for them to come back out.
They didn’t come out until it was time to leave for her dinner. I stood up when the door opened and my jaw dropped when Cassidy came practically bouncing out of the room, a big smile on her face. Had I just imagined that morning? Or did they just have that good of a time—never mind, I didn’t want to think about that.
“Ty said we’re going out, are you ready?” She beamed her bright smile at me.
“Uh, yeah. I guess.”
“Oh. Well, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I understand.”
Understand what? “No, I’ll go.”
“Really?” She seemed genuinely surprised; her eyes lit up and her smile changed. It softened but was even more beautiful. Then suddenly it fell and she whispered softly, “I know you’re worried about it, Gage, but I will get a job so you and Ty aren’t paying for me anymore. I’m sorry you had to be there for that today.”
What. The. Hell. Just—what?! Before I could ask where she would even get an idea as dumb as that, Tyler stepped into the living room.
“Ready, birthday girl?”
Cassidy just rolled her eyes and laughed as we all left the apartment. I’m sure Tyler was getting pissed by the end of dinner, but I couldn’t seem to do anything other than stare at her the entire night. The last thing she wanted was for her birthday to roll around, and then after this morning I was prepared to cancel on everyone tonight. But there she sat, bubbly and adorable as ever. Not one of those people would have imagined anything bad had happened to her, or that today was harder for her than she could describe. I knew how rare it was for her to break down like she had that morning, but this was blowing my mind. She was ridiculously happy; her cheeks had to be hurting from how much she was laughing and smiling. And even when Lanie got teary eyed telling Cassidy that her boyfriend broke up with her, Cassidy was sad for her, and helped her plot a girls’ night to help her get over the dick. This was her day, and a hard day, but not one ounce of Cassidy was thinking about herself. Though I still wished I could take her away and give her the opportunity to actually grieve and be upset over things that had happened, it was times like this that made me fall in love with her more.
