From Ashes
Page 45
Mama had been great though. She’d been cooking for us and taking care of Cass in a way only a mother could. I could see Cassidy didn’t handle being taken care of in that way very well at first, but with how weak she was, she didn’t have much of a choice and I knew she now loved having a mother figure looking after her for the first time in years. Mom was sleeping in the guest room, so naturally I put Cassidy in my room, and honestly I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Technically, I’d been sleeping on the bigger couch, but I always ended up sitting in a chair next to the bed so I could make sure her breathing stayed normal. Or at least, that’s what I’d been telling myself. Cassidy was the only one who believed that. That knowing smile Mama gave me every time she saw me in there let me know she wasn’t fooled; she knew I just wanted to be near her. There I went, being f**king creepy again.
“Come talk to me, Gage,” Mom whispered over her shoulder as she made her way out of my room.
I stood up and stretched before bending over the bed and pressing my lips to Cassidy’s forehead. She looked and felt so much better, I had no doubt she’d be trying to get out of the bed and back to work on Monday. I choked on a laugh on my way out to the kitchen, thinking about how cute Cassidy got when she tried to get her way, but there was no way in hell I was letting her out of that bed for at least another week. “Yes, ma’am?”
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing with all of this.”
“I’m fine.” My brow furrowed. “Why?”
“I meant, how are you with Cassidy being here? After they visited this summer, and over winter break, you were just so . . . I don’t know. Heartbroken? And now she’s here after there was trouble between her and Tyler. I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt again, son.”
“Yeah, I understand. I don’t know what to make of a lot of this. I was—am still messed up over the whole thing, but I can’t stop . . . I’m still in love with her.”
“I know you are.”
“I’ve tried getting over her, Mom”—Mama didn’t know exactly how I’d tried to get over Cassidy, but that was something that was better left unknown to anyone other than myself and the girls I had been with—“and I’ve tried to figure out why she would do certain things . . . there has to be something I’m missing. Cassidy’s not the type of girl to purposefully hurt someone, and if I didn’t know her as well as I do, I wouldn’t see that she was hurt too. For some reason, I found myself apologizing to her after I got back this summer. She was so mad that I left, and even though she tried to hide it, I knew she was upset. And then . . . I don’t know. Maybe I’m just making myself think all this is happenin’.”
“Well, I’m not so sure about that. You only have to be in the room with the two of you to know there’s something there. She looks at you like—well, anyway. Just be careful. Whether she’s doing it on purpose or not, you’ve been hurt by her too many times already.”
Not like I needed that reminder. But she was right. I knew if I kept reading too much into her running to me, something would bring me crashing back down to reality and I’d end up even more pissed off than the last few times that had happened.
She began to say something, then hesitated and opened the fridge and freezer to browse.
“Might as well just say it, Mama.”
“Are you sure it’s the best idea to have her living here with you? Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart, I absolutely adore that girl. But with all that’s happened, you really think you should be doing this?”
“Yes.” I didn’t even hesitate. “I’m sure and I do.”
“All right.” She raised her hands, palms facing me. “All right, I got you. Just making sure,” she added with a wink.
Chapter Ten
CASSIDY
I WAS JUST rinsing out my mug in the sink when there was a hard knock on the door. It was only six thirty in the morning, for crying out loud; who was crazy enough to go around waking people up this early? Not that we weren’t awake. Gage had come to check on me before he left for his run not long ago and I hadn’t been able to go back to sleep. I tiptoed over to the door and looked out the peephole.
“What the hell?”
He knocked again, and even though I was watching him, the loud sound made me jump back.
“What do you want, Ty?” I practically growled as I swung open the door but stood in the doorway so he couldn’t come in.
“God, Cassi, I’ve been going out of my mind. How are you? Are you feeling okay?” He reached his hand out toward my face and I smacked it away.
“I’m fine. Why are you here?”
“Baby, I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. Please let me in so we can talk about what happened.”
“There’s not much to talk about. You brought a girl home to screw because I wouldn’t. That about covers it all, don’t you think?”
“I—” He ran both hands through his hair and pulled them out hard, leaving his hair sticking up in all directions. If I hadn’t been so upset from seeing him again, I might have laughed. “I f**ked up! I’m sorry, I was wasted and pissed because of what you called me—not that that’s an excuse, I know you had been asleep, I just wasn’t thinking. I mean, I was . . . but—”
“Wow . . . this is already starting off so well. You were wasted, you weren’t thinking, you were thinking. You know, you seemed pretty coherent to me.”
“Come talk to me, Gage,” Mom whispered over her shoulder as she made her way out of my room.
I stood up and stretched before bending over the bed and pressing my lips to Cassidy’s forehead. She looked and felt so much better, I had no doubt she’d be trying to get out of the bed and back to work on Monday. I choked on a laugh on my way out to the kitchen, thinking about how cute Cassidy got when she tried to get her way, but there was no way in hell I was letting her out of that bed for at least another week. “Yes, ma’am?”
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing with all of this.”
“I’m fine.” My brow furrowed. “Why?”
“I meant, how are you with Cassidy being here? After they visited this summer, and over winter break, you were just so . . . I don’t know. Heartbroken? And now she’s here after there was trouble between her and Tyler. I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt again, son.”
“Yeah, I understand. I don’t know what to make of a lot of this. I was—am still messed up over the whole thing, but I can’t stop . . . I’m still in love with her.”
“I know you are.”
“I’ve tried getting over her, Mom”—Mama didn’t know exactly how I’d tried to get over Cassidy, but that was something that was better left unknown to anyone other than myself and the girls I had been with—“and I’ve tried to figure out why she would do certain things . . . there has to be something I’m missing. Cassidy’s not the type of girl to purposefully hurt someone, and if I didn’t know her as well as I do, I wouldn’t see that she was hurt too. For some reason, I found myself apologizing to her after I got back this summer. She was so mad that I left, and even though she tried to hide it, I knew she was upset. And then . . . I don’t know. Maybe I’m just making myself think all this is happenin’.”
“Well, I’m not so sure about that. You only have to be in the room with the two of you to know there’s something there. She looks at you like—well, anyway. Just be careful. Whether she’s doing it on purpose or not, you’ve been hurt by her too many times already.”
Not like I needed that reminder. But she was right. I knew if I kept reading too much into her running to me, something would bring me crashing back down to reality and I’d end up even more pissed off than the last few times that had happened.
She began to say something, then hesitated and opened the fridge and freezer to browse.
“Might as well just say it, Mama.”
“Are you sure it’s the best idea to have her living here with you? Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart, I absolutely adore that girl. But with all that’s happened, you really think you should be doing this?”
“Yes.” I didn’t even hesitate. “I’m sure and I do.”
“All right.” She raised her hands, palms facing me. “All right, I got you. Just making sure,” she added with a wink.
Chapter Ten
CASSIDY
I WAS JUST rinsing out my mug in the sink when there was a hard knock on the door. It was only six thirty in the morning, for crying out loud; who was crazy enough to go around waking people up this early? Not that we weren’t awake. Gage had come to check on me before he left for his run not long ago and I hadn’t been able to go back to sleep. I tiptoed over to the door and looked out the peephole.
“What the hell?”
He knocked again, and even though I was watching him, the loud sound made me jump back.
“What do you want, Ty?” I practically growled as I swung open the door but stood in the doorway so he couldn’t come in.
“God, Cassi, I’ve been going out of my mind. How are you? Are you feeling okay?” He reached his hand out toward my face and I smacked it away.
“I’m fine. Why are you here?”
“Baby, I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. Please let me in so we can talk about what happened.”
“There’s not much to talk about. You brought a girl home to screw because I wouldn’t. That about covers it all, don’t you think?”
“I—” He ran both hands through his hair and pulled them out hard, leaving his hair sticking up in all directions. If I hadn’t been so upset from seeing him again, I might have laughed. “I f**ked up! I’m sorry, I was wasted and pissed because of what you called me—not that that’s an excuse, I know you had been asleep, I just wasn’t thinking. I mean, I was . . . but—”
“Wow . . . this is already starting off so well. You were wasted, you weren’t thinking, you were thinking. You know, you seemed pretty coherent to me.”
