From Rags
Page 40
“Hi babe,” he whispered as he dropped his forehead to hers and inhaled the scent of her. She was wearing her usual perfume and it was playing with his senses and triggering memories that were only increasing his hunger for her. He didn’t dare kiss her, she’d probably slap him. Worse still, it wouldn’t make him stop ravaging her lips; if he started he would not stop.
“You promised me no contact,” she hissed.
“Actually, if you think back, you’ll find that I didn’t promise anything.” He twirled a chocolate-brown curl around his finger. God he’d missed these wild ringlets. “I’d known deep down that I’d never be able to keep that promise.”
So he’d just stayed quiet and let her believe what she wanted? “You devious little -”
“Not devious, babe, just someone who won’t give my word on something unless I’m positive I can keep it. Just someone who really needed to see you.”
She bit back a growl. “I’m not one of your women who’ll hop, skip and shag you whenever you turn up. Go home, Connor.”
Seeing that she was about to walk away, he sighed. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t be reasonable.” He shrugged. “You only have yourself to blame for this.” With that he scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder.
“What the hell are you doing?! Put me down!”
“Can’t, Jaxx, sorry. We need to talk.” As he headed for the elevator he noticed Ollie gawping at them. Connor raised an eyebrow, daring Ollie to intervene. The bloke just shrugged and sighed as if defeated.
“If I wanted to talk to you I’d have phoned!”
He smiled when he felt her reaching down under the waistline of his jeans, searching for his boxers. “You’re wasting your time on that one, I’m going Commando. You’ll also notice that I fastened a belt around my jeans so you couldn’t pull them up the crack of my arse.” Cursing him, she kicked her legs and beat his back with her fists. “As much as I love feeling you rubbing against me like this, you should know that the more you squirm the higher your dress is riding up your thighs. I don’t mind getting a flash but I’m not sure you’ll want everyone else to get a good look at your Brazilian.”
She growled as he stepped into an elevator – an elevator that wasn’t empty! Although she stopped squirming she resumed punching his lower back, then took to scratching him under his t-shirt.
“Mmmm. That’s it, babe, I love it when you scratch me.”
“We’ll see if you love it when I ram the heel of my shoe up your rusty bullet hole!”
“Dirty talk already, Jaxx?”
She continued to struggle. “Connor Lee McKenzie -”
“I’m getting my full title? You must really be fuming with me right now.”
Growling, she got to work on his lower back again. Then she jerked and gasped in shock as a hand came down hard on her arse. “You just spanked me!” she said disbelievingly. And in an elevator in front of people! Oh she was so going to kill him.
“God I’ve missed doing that.”
“You’ll be missing your balls as well!”
Exiting the elevator on the fourth floor, he took long, quick strides to the luxurious suite he’d checked into only minutes ago. Once inside he advanced straight to the bedroom and plonked a still struggling and cursing Jaxx on the huge double bed. Before she had a chance to launch herself at him he flipped her onto her stomach and pressed his body weight down on her while he secured her wrists with the cuffs he’d had waiting on the headboard.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh you sadistic twat!”
He then slid down her body, keeping his weight over her, until he reached her ankles which he also cuffed to the bed, leaving her in a fantastic starfish pose. “Sorry, Jaxx, but I had to be prepared in case you wouldn’t listen to me.”
“You think this will make me want to listen?”
“Well no but it does mean you’ll have to.” He settled down beside her but she turned her head away. Propping himself up on one elbow, he drew circles on her back through her dress – a dress that had a long zip that stopped at her pelvis, begging to be lowered.
“Don’t touch me!”
“I’m just trying to relax you, babe.”
“Just tell me what you want. Oh hang on, let me guess, you were passing by and thought you’d drop in for a quickie.”
“Actually I’ve just got off a very long flight to here from London to see you.”
“Why? Haven’t you got over that addiction yet?” She snickered, trying to veil just how her body was responding to his touch. “Or was it that you heard some rumour about me being with another bloke and felt compelled to come and scare him off with the caveman routine?”
“I’ll be honest and say that it has been playing on my mind that you might be with someone, and I just can’t have that, Jaxx.”
“Oh so you get to have as many bed-buddies as you like while I have to live the life of a bleeding nun?”
“I haven’t been with anyone since you.” Needing to taste her skin again, he kissed her shoulder.
She snorted. “Like I’d believe that.”
“It’s true.” He trailed kisses along her shoulder to her nape. Her answering shudder relieved him. She was still responsive to him even if she wished she wasn’t.
“Stop kissing and touching me.”
“I can’t, babe, I’ve missed you so f**king much. Everything in that apartment reminded me of you and having the dog didn’t help.”
“I told Tony to take him.”
“I kept him.”
Shocked, she almost laughed. “Why?”
He buried his face in her soft, silky hair, loving the scent of her strawberry shampoo. “He was all I had left of you and I didn’t know how to let go. I didn’t want to either.”
That had her backpedalling. The combination of his words and his relaxing touches – that were, unfortunately, still managing to feed her craving for him – had her melting into the mattress and calming. It was nice to know she wasn’t turning frigid. “It’s not enough that you missed me, Connor.”
“I know, I know.” Unable to stop himself, he slowly lowered the zipper on her dress.
“Connor, no -”
“Please, babe, I need this, I need to touch you.” Lightly he ran his fingertips along her back.
“If you know it’s not enough then why are you here? On the off-chance that I might be up for a one-off shag?”
After a deep, preparatory breath, he said, “You remember I told you that my sister died? What I didn’t tell you was that my dad killed her.” Her head instantly whipped round to face him, her expression one of shock. “He used to knock my mum and me and Selina about all the time. One day, she was eleven, he took it too far. Me and my mum walked in as he was finishing her off, he was so smashed he didn’t even realise how much damage he’d done.”
“That’s why you always hated him so much,” she whispered, recalling the times she’d tried to get him to stop wasting energy on hating him.
He nodded. “The reason my mum found it so easy to dump me onto social services when her boyfriend asked was because she couldn’t bear the sight of me. She said I looked too much like him, I reminded her of him. And I had his temper. You know what? Before that she was a good mum, a good person. What he did just messed her up. He messed up her life and mine and, worse, ended Selina’s. I was terrified she was right and I was like him; that I might have it in me to hurt a kid or a woman or mess up people’s lives.”
“So you decided not to have a family.”
“I didn’t cry when Selina died, you know. Or when my mum dumped me. I came close but never did. I don’t ever remember crying much as a kid. I thought if I couldn’t even cry when my own sister died then I couldn’t have really loved her, and if I couldn’t love my own sister then I was someone who just couldn’t love at all. That was what I reasoned.”
She really wanted to say something. The bloke had just told her some major stuff, had just confided in her to an extent that he never had before. But nothing came to mind.
“I’m not telling you so you’ll feel sorry for me or to soften you up,” he stated as he kissed his way along her spine. “I just want you to understand that the reason I tried to keep things casual wasn’t because I didn’t care about you. I honestly didn’t think I could give you anything more or feel anything more.” He slid his hand under her dress and palmed her arse. “But as it turns out, I’ve been a blind prick.”
She couldn’t help but close her eyes and moan as he clutched and massaged her arse. She’d missed him and missed his hands on her. Then his words filtered through. “Blind prick?”
He glided his hand along her inner thigh, loving the way she quivered, and slid his finger passed her thong and between her slippery folds. “Jesus, babe, you’re already wet for me.”
“Stop.” The protest was so weak she might have slapped herself for sounding so pathetic if she wasn’t cuffed to the bed. So caught up in the sensations, she couldn’t even open her eyes. “Connor, don’t. I told you I can’t move on if you walk in and out like this.”
“I don’t want you to move on. You’re mine, Jaxx. You always were.”
“I belong to no one.”
“Wrong.” He slipped his finger inside her and her walls gripped him and moisture coated his finger. He thrust his finger in and out at a leisurely, teasing pace. Her low moans were eating at his control. “I worked it out, Jaxx; the way I hate you being away from me, the way I can’t stomach the thought of anyone else touching you, the way sex is so different with you…” He draped himself over her and peeled up her dress. “I’d convinced myself I was just addicted to you, but you know what Jaxx?” He snapped her thong, ragged off his belt, and shoved down his pants. “The truth of it is, I love you.” Then he slammed himself home, groaning at that blissful, familiar feeling of her muscles clasping him like a vise.
She’d forgotten just how much he stretched her, forgotten how good the burning and stinging felt. The bliss of it all almost distracted her from the conversation. “You what?”
“I love you.” Thrust. “You’re mine.” Thrust. “And you’re not leaving me ever again.” Thrust. “I really am so sick and tired of trying to live without you.” THRUST. He then raked a hand in her hair, brought her face to his and began roughly pounding into her as he ravaged those sensual lips. His longing for her, everything he felt for her, spilled out of him in a furious, manic pace that was punctuating everything he’d said. “I’ve missed this.”
“Oh my God,” she moaned into his mouth. She couldn’t keep quiet: she was moaning, groaning, whimpering, and coming dangerously close to crying with the perfection of it all. She probably should have been doubtful about a bloke suddenly claiming that he loved her, but she knew Connor well enough to know that if there was one thing he would never lie to her about, it was that. And the knowledge that he loved her just made this all the more amazing. Every ruthless thrust was a stab of pure bliss. She was burning from the outside out, heading closer and closer to her orgasm.
Her noises were killing Connor. He wouldn’t last much longer, not when he’d been starved of her for so long. He slid a hand beneath her and palmed her breast before sliding it down to her clit. He teased and circled it with his finger and she sobbed into his mouth. “That’s it, babe, isn’t it? That’s what you like. Tell me you love me. Tell me, Jaxx, I need to hear it.”
“I love you,” she rasped.
“Tell me again.”
“I love you.” Feeling her cl**ax closing in on her, she cried, “Connor, I’m going to come.”
He roughened his pace and pounded harder. “Scream my name for me, babe. Now.”
He pinched her cl*t and Jaxxon was gone; a violent cl**ax like nothing she’d ever known before crashed into her and rippled through her reverberating, frenzied body.
The combination of her walls closing in on him and his name escaping her lips in a scream had his dick practically detonating: his come fiercely jetted out of him. “Fuck.” It wouldn’t stop, his c*ck seemed to just keep pulsing inside her, filling her with every last drop he had. Then, totally and completely sated, he collapsed beside her and nuzzled his face in her hair.
When he could finally form a sentence again, he murmured, “I’m sorry I took so long to sort my head out.”
“Mm,” was all she managed in response. She heard him chuckle and then there was a lot of fidgeting and bouncing of the mattress. Then her arms were free and next her legs. She still hadn’t when he joined her on the bed, not even to retract her arms; she was utterly spent and had no real intention of moving just yet. Connor snuggled against her side and played with her hand, kissing it and fiddling with her fingers.
“I knew it would fit.”
She frowned. “Mm?”
“It fits.”
Lazily opening one eye, she gazed at her hand which he was still fiddling with…and the white-gold diamond ring that now surrounded her third finger. Instantly both her eyes were wide open. “Connor.” She swallowed hard. “What’re you doing?”
Connor’s lips twitched in amusement at the way she spoke to him in a calming tone like he was an insane person who might need to be talked down from a frenzied state. “I picked white gold because I knew you liked it better than yellow. I wanted to get you a big, bulky diamond but I knew you’d never wear it. But no chance was I going to get anything as understated as you would have chosen, so I’d say that’s a good compromise.”
“You promised me no contact,” she hissed.
“Actually, if you think back, you’ll find that I didn’t promise anything.” He twirled a chocolate-brown curl around his finger. God he’d missed these wild ringlets. “I’d known deep down that I’d never be able to keep that promise.”
So he’d just stayed quiet and let her believe what she wanted? “You devious little -”
“Not devious, babe, just someone who won’t give my word on something unless I’m positive I can keep it. Just someone who really needed to see you.”
She bit back a growl. “I’m not one of your women who’ll hop, skip and shag you whenever you turn up. Go home, Connor.”
Seeing that she was about to walk away, he sighed. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t be reasonable.” He shrugged. “You only have yourself to blame for this.” With that he scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder.
“What the hell are you doing?! Put me down!”
“Can’t, Jaxx, sorry. We need to talk.” As he headed for the elevator he noticed Ollie gawping at them. Connor raised an eyebrow, daring Ollie to intervene. The bloke just shrugged and sighed as if defeated.
“If I wanted to talk to you I’d have phoned!”
He smiled when he felt her reaching down under the waistline of his jeans, searching for his boxers. “You’re wasting your time on that one, I’m going Commando. You’ll also notice that I fastened a belt around my jeans so you couldn’t pull them up the crack of my arse.” Cursing him, she kicked her legs and beat his back with her fists. “As much as I love feeling you rubbing against me like this, you should know that the more you squirm the higher your dress is riding up your thighs. I don’t mind getting a flash but I’m not sure you’ll want everyone else to get a good look at your Brazilian.”
She growled as he stepped into an elevator – an elevator that wasn’t empty! Although she stopped squirming she resumed punching his lower back, then took to scratching him under his t-shirt.
“Mmmm. That’s it, babe, I love it when you scratch me.”
“We’ll see if you love it when I ram the heel of my shoe up your rusty bullet hole!”
“Dirty talk already, Jaxx?”
She continued to struggle. “Connor Lee McKenzie -”
“I’m getting my full title? You must really be fuming with me right now.”
Growling, she got to work on his lower back again. Then she jerked and gasped in shock as a hand came down hard on her arse. “You just spanked me!” she said disbelievingly. And in an elevator in front of people! Oh she was so going to kill him.
“God I’ve missed doing that.”
“You’ll be missing your balls as well!”
Exiting the elevator on the fourth floor, he took long, quick strides to the luxurious suite he’d checked into only minutes ago. Once inside he advanced straight to the bedroom and plonked a still struggling and cursing Jaxx on the huge double bed. Before she had a chance to launch herself at him he flipped her onto her stomach and pressed his body weight down on her while he secured her wrists with the cuffs he’d had waiting on the headboard.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh you sadistic twat!”
He then slid down her body, keeping his weight over her, until he reached her ankles which he also cuffed to the bed, leaving her in a fantastic starfish pose. “Sorry, Jaxx, but I had to be prepared in case you wouldn’t listen to me.”
“You think this will make me want to listen?”
“Well no but it does mean you’ll have to.” He settled down beside her but she turned her head away. Propping himself up on one elbow, he drew circles on her back through her dress – a dress that had a long zip that stopped at her pelvis, begging to be lowered.
“Don’t touch me!”
“I’m just trying to relax you, babe.”
“Just tell me what you want. Oh hang on, let me guess, you were passing by and thought you’d drop in for a quickie.”
“Actually I’ve just got off a very long flight to here from London to see you.”
“Why? Haven’t you got over that addiction yet?” She snickered, trying to veil just how her body was responding to his touch. “Or was it that you heard some rumour about me being with another bloke and felt compelled to come and scare him off with the caveman routine?”
“I’ll be honest and say that it has been playing on my mind that you might be with someone, and I just can’t have that, Jaxx.”
“Oh so you get to have as many bed-buddies as you like while I have to live the life of a bleeding nun?”
“I haven’t been with anyone since you.” Needing to taste her skin again, he kissed her shoulder.
She snorted. “Like I’d believe that.”
“It’s true.” He trailed kisses along her shoulder to her nape. Her answering shudder relieved him. She was still responsive to him even if she wished she wasn’t.
“Stop kissing and touching me.”
“I can’t, babe, I’ve missed you so f**king much. Everything in that apartment reminded me of you and having the dog didn’t help.”
“I told Tony to take him.”
“I kept him.”
Shocked, she almost laughed. “Why?”
He buried his face in her soft, silky hair, loving the scent of her strawberry shampoo. “He was all I had left of you and I didn’t know how to let go. I didn’t want to either.”
That had her backpedalling. The combination of his words and his relaxing touches – that were, unfortunately, still managing to feed her craving for him – had her melting into the mattress and calming. It was nice to know she wasn’t turning frigid. “It’s not enough that you missed me, Connor.”
“I know, I know.” Unable to stop himself, he slowly lowered the zipper on her dress.
“Connor, no -”
“Please, babe, I need this, I need to touch you.” Lightly he ran his fingertips along her back.
“If you know it’s not enough then why are you here? On the off-chance that I might be up for a one-off shag?”
After a deep, preparatory breath, he said, “You remember I told you that my sister died? What I didn’t tell you was that my dad killed her.” Her head instantly whipped round to face him, her expression one of shock. “He used to knock my mum and me and Selina about all the time. One day, she was eleven, he took it too far. Me and my mum walked in as he was finishing her off, he was so smashed he didn’t even realise how much damage he’d done.”
“That’s why you always hated him so much,” she whispered, recalling the times she’d tried to get him to stop wasting energy on hating him.
He nodded. “The reason my mum found it so easy to dump me onto social services when her boyfriend asked was because she couldn’t bear the sight of me. She said I looked too much like him, I reminded her of him. And I had his temper. You know what? Before that she was a good mum, a good person. What he did just messed her up. He messed up her life and mine and, worse, ended Selina’s. I was terrified she was right and I was like him; that I might have it in me to hurt a kid or a woman or mess up people’s lives.”
“So you decided not to have a family.”
“I didn’t cry when Selina died, you know. Or when my mum dumped me. I came close but never did. I don’t ever remember crying much as a kid. I thought if I couldn’t even cry when my own sister died then I couldn’t have really loved her, and if I couldn’t love my own sister then I was someone who just couldn’t love at all. That was what I reasoned.”
She really wanted to say something. The bloke had just told her some major stuff, had just confided in her to an extent that he never had before. But nothing came to mind.
“I’m not telling you so you’ll feel sorry for me or to soften you up,” he stated as he kissed his way along her spine. “I just want you to understand that the reason I tried to keep things casual wasn’t because I didn’t care about you. I honestly didn’t think I could give you anything more or feel anything more.” He slid his hand under her dress and palmed her arse. “But as it turns out, I’ve been a blind prick.”
She couldn’t help but close her eyes and moan as he clutched and massaged her arse. She’d missed him and missed his hands on her. Then his words filtered through. “Blind prick?”
He glided his hand along her inner thigh, loving the way she quivered, and slid his finger passed her thong and between her slippery folds. “Jesus, babe, you’re already wet for me.”
“Stop.” The protest was so weak she might have slapped herself for sounding so pathetic if she wasn’t cuffed to the bed. So caught up in the sensations, she couldn’t even open her eyes. “Connor, don’t. I told you I can’t move on if you walk in and out like this.”
“I don’t want you to move on. You’re mine, Jaxx. You always were.”
“I belong to no one.”
“Wrong.” He slipped his finger inside her and her walls gripped him and moisture coated his finger. He thrust his finger in and out at a leisurely, teasing pace. Her low moans were eating at his control. “I worked it out, Jaxx; the way I hate you being away from me, the way I can’t stomach the thought of anyone else touching you, the way sex is so different with you…” He draped himself over her and peeled up her dress. “I’d convinced myself I was just addicted to you, but you know what Jaxx?” He snapped her thong, ragged off his belt, and shoved down his pants. “The truth of it is, I love you.” Then he slammed himself home, groaning at that blissful, familiar feeling of her muscles clasping him like a vise.
She’d forgotten just how much he stretched her, forgotten how good the burning and stinging felt. The bliss of it all almost distracted her from the conversation. “You what?”
“I love you.” Thrust. “You’re mine.” Thrust. “And you’re not leaving me ever again.” Thrust. “I really am so sick and tired of trying to live without you.” THRUST. He then raked a hand in her hair, brought her face to his and began roughly pounding into her as he ravaged those sensual lips. His longing for her, everything he felt for her, spilled out of him in a furious, manic pace that was punctuating everything he’d said. “I’ve missed this.”
“Oh my God,” she moaned into his mouth. She couldn’t keep quiet: she was moaning, groaning, whimpering, and coming dangerously close to crying with the perfection of it all. She probably should have been doubtful about a bloke suddenly claiming that he loved her, but she knew Connor well enough to know that if there was one thing he would never lie to her about, it was that. And the knowledge that he loved her just made this all the more amazing. Every ruthless thrust was a stab of pure bliss. She was burning from the outside out, heading closer and closer to her orgasm.
Her noises were killing Connor. He wouldn’t last much longer, not when he’d been starved of her for so long. He slid a hand beneath her and palmed her breast before sliding it down to her clit. He teased and circled it with his finger and she sobbed into his mouth. “That’s it, babe, isn’t it? That’s what you like. Tell me you love me. Tell me, Jaxx, I need to hear it.”
“I love you,” she rasped.
“Tell me again.”
“I love you.” Feeling her cl**ax closing in on her, she cried, “Connor, I’m going to come.”
He roughened his pace and pounded harder. “Scream my name for me, babe. Now.”
He pinched her cl*t and Jaxxon was gone; a violent cl**ax like nothing she’d ever known before crashed into her and rippled through her reverberating, frenzied body.
The combination of her walls closing in on him and his name escaping her lips in a scream had his dick practically detonating: his come fiercely jetted out of him. “Fuck.” It wouldn’t stop, his c*ck seemed to just keep pulsing inside her, filling her with every last drop he had. Then, totally and completely sated, he collapsed beside her and nuzzled his face in her hair.
When he could finally form a sentence again, he murmured, “I’m sorry I took so long to sort my head out.”
“Mm,” was all she managed in response. She heard him chuckle and then there was a lot of fidgeting and bouncing of the mattress. Then her arms were free and next her legs. She still hadn’t when he joined her on the bed, not even to retract her arms; she was utterly spent and had no real intention of moving just yet. Connor snuggled against her side and played with her hand, kissing it and fiddling with her fingers.
“I knew it would fit.”
She frowned. “Mm?”
“It fits.”
Lazily opening one eye, she gazed at her hand which he was still fiddling with…and the white-gold diamond ring that now surrounded her third finger. Instantly both her eyes were wide open. “Connor.” She swallowed hard. “What’re you doing?”
Connor’s lips twitched in amusement at the way she spoke to him in a calming tone like he was an insane person who might need to be talked down from a frenzied state. “I picked white gold because I knew you liked it better than yellow. I wanted to get you a big, bulky diamond but I knew you’d never wear it. But no chance was I going to get anything as understated as you would have chosen, so I’d say that’s a good compromise.”
