From This Moment On
Page 41
Before he’d kissed her, touched her.
Before he’d shown her something far more beautiful—and, ultimately, far more painful—than she ever could have imagined.
Before love.
“Oh my God, you were amazing!” Lori pushed through the throngs of people surrounding Nicola to throw her arms around her.
She was glad to see Lori, of course she was, but the link to Marcus was way too close for comfort and Nicola had to work even harder than she already was to school her expression into a smile.
“Thanks,” she said, wondering if Lori knew her brother was there. “I had a lot of fun out there tonight.”
“I wish Marcus had been able to come. You would have a new biggest fan.”
Nicola barely held onto her smile. If he were any other guy, maybe she would have let herself confide to Lori how she’d completely lost her heart. Girl talk was just what she needed, someone to drink too many glasses of wine with while they trash-talked men.
Instead, she said, “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you this week.”
Marcus’s sister grinned at her. “You’re not leaving until Monday, right?” At Nicola’s nod, Lori said, “Once a month, the whole clan gets together for Sunday lunch at my mother’s house. Please come and hang out with us. You already know Marcus, but I know how much everyone else would like to meet you after I’ve spent the last week talking their ears off about how amazing you are.”
“Wow, that’s really nice,” Nicola said, not wanting to be a bitch and ruin their budding friendship by turning down Lori’s friendly offer, “but I can’t intrude on a family event.”
Misunderstanding Nicola’s hesitation, Lori said, “We all get the fame thing with Smith. I promise everyone will be totally normal. Besides,” she said with an obvious matchmaking gleam in her eyes, “I can’t help but hope you’ll meet one of my brothers and the two of you will fall in love. Have I told you about Gabe? He’s a firefighter and my friends are always telling me how hot he is.”
Everything was spiraling out of control so quickly that Nicola could barely force out a joke. “Who could possibly resist a firefighter?”
Lori hugged her again. “I’ll text you the address. I know you’re busy, so I’ll let the rest of your adoring fans have some time with you. See you tomorrow!”
Maybe, Nicola thought as a group of excited young girls squealed at meeting her, this lunch was for the best. She’d already been brave enough to start changing her image, had taken that first step tonight to stop hiding behind her super-sexy exterior.
But not letting Marcus see her backstage just now hadn’t been very brave.
Tomorrow at Sunday brunch she’d face him one more time. She’d prove to both of them that she could handle it, that she was big enough, strong enough to stop hiding, and clear up any lingering hurt feelings. That would leave both of them free to move on with their lives, the few days they’d spent together in each other’s arms nothing but a distant memory.
Still, Nicola knew she wouldn’t sleep much that night. How could she when her brain would be busy looking at her relationship with Marcus from every possible angle, even though she already knew the final answer?
Ending it was the best thing for both of them. Yes, they could have done it in a cleaner, nicer way, but at least they weren’t fooling themselves into thinking they could actually have a relationship.
He would be so much happier without her.
And she’d eventually learn how to deal with being miserable without him.
Chapter Twenty
Marcus had a hell of a night. After driving back up to Napa after the concert, he’d sat on the porch and stared out into the darkness until the sun came up. There hadn’t been any point in trying to sleep, not when visions of Nicola were already haunting him.
All night long, he’d asked himself the same question: How could he fix the mistakes he’d made with her? Everything he’d done to hurt her, to push her away, to keep her at arm’s length, to guard his heart, came at him as the moon shifted to let the sun take its place.
That morning in Smith’s kitchen, when she’d asked him for another night and he’d hurt her by telling her no, that it had been a huge mistake to leave the club with her at all.
That night when he’d found out who she was, and had been not only angry with her for keeping her famous identity from him and making them use the private entrance, but he’d also decided both those things gave him license to selfishly force her body past the point of no return.
The way he’d made her work like hell the next morning for the extra time together, when a real man would have owned up to his feelings and saved her the pain of another possible rejection.
The pain in her eyes out on the beach when she’d yelled at him about her being stupid enough to be falling in love with him…and he didn’t have the guts to admit he was falling in love with her, too.
Marcus’s entire body was tight and tense as he made himself own up to each and every one of his mistakes.
For the first time in his life, the vines that stretched out over the hills held no beauty for him. Not after he’d held the most beautiful woman in the world in his arms...and had been too stupid to realize he needed to do anything and everything in his power to convince her to let him love her the way she should be loved.
Thank God Nicola’s bodyguard hadn’t let him in last night, had firmly told him, “Sorry, man, she’s busy. You’re not getting in to see her.” Marcus hadn’t been rational and would definitely have made things worse.
Unfortunately, after a long night of thinking, he still hadn’t come up with a plan that had any chance of working. He knew he couldn’t heal what was broken between them with flowers or jewelry.
He didn’t have the will to do more than put on clean jeans and a T-shirt for his mother’s Sunday lunch, even though he knew someone was bound to comment on the fact that he clearly wasn’t at the top of his game. That was the thing about family—they were always there with you to celebrate the good stuff…and to point out when you were screwing up. If Lori knew what had gone down with Nicola, she would kick his ass so hard he’d feel the imprint of her foot for the next decade.
He opened his mother’s front door and walked inside. Smith was walking through the room with a couple of beers in his hand. “Hey, you look like shit.”
“Nice to see you, too.” Marcus replied. The closest in age of all the siblings, the two of them had spent plenty of time talking with their fists as kids. “Didn’t know you’d be in town.”
Before he’d shown her something far more beautiful—and, ultimately, far more painful—than she ever could have imagined.
Before love.
“Oh my God, you were amazing!” Lori pushed through the throngs of people surrounding Nicola to throw her arms around her.
She was glad to see Lori, of course she was, but the link to Marcus was way too close for comfort and Nicola had to work even harder than she already was to school her expression into a smile.
“Thanks,” she said, wondering if Lori knew her brother was there. “I had a lot of fun out there tonight.”
“I wish Marcus had been able to come. You would have a new biggest fan.”
Nicola barely held onto her smile. If he were any other guy, maybe she would have let herself confide to Lori how she’d completely lost her heart. Girl talk was just what she needed, someone to drink too many glasses of wine with while they trash-talked men.
Instead, she said, “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you this week.”
Marcus’s sister grinned at her. “You’re not leaving until Monday, right?” At Nicola’s nod, Lori said, “Once a month, the whole clan gets together for Sunday lunch at my mother’s house. Please come and hang out with us. You already know Marcus, but I know how much everyone else would like to meet you after I’ve spent the last week talking their ears off about how amazing you are.”
“Wow, that’s really nice,” Nicola said, not wanting to be a bitch and ruin their budding friendship by turning down Lori’s friendly offer, “but I can’t intrude on a family event.”
Misunderstanding Nicola’s hesitation, Lori said, “We all get the fame thing with Smith. I promise everyone will be totally normal. Besides,” she said with an obvious matchmaking gleam in her eyes, “I can’t help but hope you’ll meet one of my brothers and the two of you will fall in love. Have I told you about Gabe? He’s a firefighter and my friends are always telling me how hot he is.”
Everything was spiraling out of control so quickly that Nicola could barely force out a joke. “Who could possibly resist a firefighter?”
Lori hugged her again. “I’ll text you the address. I know you’re busy, so I’ll let the rest of your adoring fans have some time with you. See you tomorrow!”
Maybe, Nicola thought as a group of excited young girls squealed at meeting her, this lunch was for the best. She’d already been brave enough to start changing her image, had taken that first step tonight to stop hiding behind her super-sexy exterior.
But not letting Marcus see her backstage just now hadn’t been very brave.
Tomorrow at Sunday brunch she’d face him one more time. She’d prove to both of them that she could handle it, that she was big enough, strong enough to stop hiding, and clear up any lingering hurt feelings. That would leave both of them free to move on with their lives, the few days they’d spent together in each other’s arms nothing but a distant memory.
Still, Nicola knew she wouldn’t sleep much that night. How could she when her brain would be busy looking at her relationship with Marcus from every possible angle, even though she already knew the final answer?
Ending it was the best thing for both of them. Yes, they could have done it in a cleaner, nicer way, but at least they weren’t fooling themselves into thinking they could actually have a relationship.
He would be so much happier without her.
And she’d eventually learn how to deal with being miserable without him.
Chapter Twenty
Marcus had a hell of a night. After driving back up to Napa after the concert, he’d sat on the porch and stared out into the darkness until the sun came up. There hadn’t been any point in trying to sleep, not when visions of Nicola were already haunting him.
All night long, he’d asked himself the same question: How could he fix the mistakes he’d made with her? Everything he’d done to hurt her, to push her away, to keep her at arm’s length, to guard his heart, came at him as the moon shifted to let the sun take its place.
That morning in Smith’s kitchen, when she’d asked him for another night and he’d hurt her by telling her no, that it had been a huge mistake to leave the club with her at all.
That night when he’d found out who she was, and had been not only angry with her for keeping her famous identity from him and making them use the private entrance, but he’d also decided both those things gave him license to selfishly force her body past the point of no return.
The way he’d made her work like hell the next morning for the extra time together, when a real man would have owned up to his feelings and saved her the pain of another possible rejection.
The pain in her eyes out on the beach when she’d yelled at him about her being stupid enough to be falling in love with him…and he didn’t have the guts to admit he was falling in love with her, too.
Marcus’s entire body was tight and tense as he made himself own up to each and every one of his mistakes.
For the first time in his life, the vines that stretched out over the hills held no beauty for him. Not after he’d held the most beautiful woman in the world in his arms...and had been too stupid to realize he needed to do anything and everything in his power to convince her to let him love her the way she should be loved.
Thank God Nicola’s bodyguard hadn’t let him in last night, had firmly told him, “Sorry, man, she’s busy. You’re not getting in to see her.” Marcus hadn’t been rational and would definitely have made things worse.
Unfortunately, after a long night of thinking, he still hadn’t come up with a plan that had any chance of working. He knew he couldn’t heal what was broken between them with flowers or jewelry.
He didn’t have the will to do more than put on clean jeans and a T-shirt for his mother’s Sunday lunch, even though he knew someone was bound to comment on the fact that he clearly wasn’t at the top of his game. That was the thing about family—they were always there with you to celebrate the good stuff…and to point out when you were screwing up. If Lori knew what had gone down with Nicola, she would kick his ass so hard he’d feel the imprint of her foot for the next decade.
He opened his mother’s front door and walked inside. Smith was walking through the room with a couple of beers in his hand. “Hey, you look like shit.”
“Nice to see you, too.” Marcus replied. The closest in age of all the siblings, the two of them had spent plenty of time talking with their fists as kids. “Didn’t know you’d be in town.”
