From This Moment On
Page 48
She made herself slip her hands from his and stand up. “We can’t see each other anymore. If you could take me back to my hotel now, I’d appreciate it."
Some how, some way, she thought as she turned her back on him to walk away, she was going to keep from sobbing until she was alone.
And then, long after he was gone, some how, some way, she would have to find a way to stop.
Marcus moved behind her and put his hand on the small of her back. Just as he had that first night. “Everything you said to me out on the beach about choosing wrong because it was easier than really loving and risking everything, was right.”
Surprised, she turned to look him in the eye as he continued with, “I always thought it was my family who needed me. But I’ve finally realized that I needed them just as much. I needed them to hold onto when everything was so scary and difficult and uncertain, when the man I loved most in the world was suddenly gone one day. But when I met you, I realized I’d finally found someone I was willing to let go of them for."
“No, Marcus,” she said, shaking her head. “You shouldn’t ever have to let go of your family. You have enough love in your heart for all of them and the family of your own you’ll probably have soon.” She made herself choke out the words. “I know you’re going to find someone perfect for you. Perfect for your life.”
“I already have.”
The tears she’d vowed not to let loose began to fall. “Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is. Not when you and I both know no matter how much we want this to work, that it never will.” She looked up at him through her tears. “I’ll never regret being with you. Not when they were the most beautiful moments of my life.” She took a deep breath that shook through her. “I changed my plane to leave tonight instead of tomorrow morning. I should go back and pack up my things.”
She turned to walk back to his mother’s house, when his voice stopped her in her tracks one more time.
“We both know you don’t want this. We both know one kiss, one touch, is all it would take for me to change your mind.”
Gone was the man who’d been pleading with her to listen, to see things from his side. In his place was the dominant lover who had thrilled her so much, made her shiver with desire and showed her the most incredible pleasures.
“You’re right, Marcus,” she agreed, making herself turn to face him again. “I’m powerless against your kisses. I can’t resist the way you touch me.” She looked into his eyes and admitted everything, purposefully gave him a fully loaded arsenal of ammo to use against her. “I can’t fight the hunger in your eyes when you look at me or my reaction to it. But is that what you want? For me to be nothing but a warm, willing body that can’t resist coming for you?”
Dominance turned to anger in a heartbeat, and then he was moving fast, his hands on her shoulders, his mouth punishing hers as he took everything he wanted, everything she wished she could give him, but couldn’t.
As he’d just pointed out, Nicola knew it was pointless to try and fight his kiss. Even in front of his family she’d been lost to her need for him. Even when he was furious with her for trying to leave when he wanted her to stay, even when she should be furious right back at him for finally treating her like the sex kitten he said she didn’t need to be anymore, all she could feel was his heart beating against hers…along with her love for him beating just as strong, even as he used her weakness for him against her.
But just when she thought he was going to rip off her clothes and take her right there, up against the old metal slide, he pushed her away and held her out at arm’s length.
“This isn’t over between us. Not even close.”
She let herself take one last long look at him. “It has to be over.”
And this time when she made a move to walk away, he let her go.
Only, even after he took her to her hotel, even hours later when she was settled beneath a blanket in First Class and the plane was flying away from San Francisco, she knew better.
Marcus Sullivan was a man who decided exactly what he wanted and then went out and took it. And for some crazy reason, he seemed to want her.
As she fell into an uneasy sleep on the plane, even as she told herself she didn’t want him to fight for her, her dreams of Marcus—full of his kisses and caresses, his hungry eyes, and his sweet words of love—wouldn’t let her hide from the truth.
Chapter Twenty-three
It had been fifteen days, six hours, and twenty-three minutes since she’d last seen—or heard—from Marcus.
She’d been wrong. He didn’t want her.
Nicola knew she should be glad about it, happy that she wasn’t going to have to keep resisting him. But she was a long, long way from happy...about as far as she could be, actually.
Her manager walked into her office, waving a fax. “Billboard just let me know that One Moment debuted at number one on the pop charts! And—wait for it, you’re going to really freak out when you hear this—your entire tour just sold out in two hours! We’re going to need to add dates. A ton of dates. You won’t be seeing your house for a good year and a half if we’re lucky!”
This was everything she’d ever wanted. The huge smash hit. The big, international sold-out tour. But even as she and Jane hugged and high-fived and Jane started talking a mile a minute about how brilliant Nicola had been to shoot another last-minute video for One Moment—just her and her guitar on an otherwise empty stage—and insist that the record label release the acoustic version, too, Nicola knew that she would have been so much happier if she could have shared this success with Marcus.
She could almost picture him telling her how proud he was, saying he’d known she could do this.
And that he loved her.
Without warning, one fat tear spilled down her cheek. Fortunately, her manager thought it was happy crying and after planting a kiss on both of Nicola’s cheeks, she grabbed the phone that was ringing off the hook and spun out of the room to go wheel and deal them into a heck of a lot more money.
Nicola walked over to the window and pressed her hand against the glass, staring out at the busy Los Angeles streets below. Three weeks ago she’d been staring out at the streets of San Francisco.
She’d been in so many tall buildings. Had visited so many busy cities. The world was her oyster more now than ever. It wasn’t that it didn’t mean a damn thing without love—of course her success meant something. And yet, love made everything so much richer, so much sweeter. Yes, sex with Marcus had been mind-blowing, but just knowing his arms were waiting to hold her, that she could lay her cheek against the steady beat of his heart...well, that was the kind of happiness that lasted forever.
Some how, some way, she thought as she turned her back on him to walk away, she was going to keep from sobbing until she was alone.
And then, long after he was gone, some how, some way, she would have to find a way to stop.
Marcus moved behind her and put his hand on the small of her back. Just as he had that first night. “Everything you said to me out on the beach about choosing wrong because it was easier than really loving and risking everything, was right.”
Surprised, she turned to look him in the eye as he continued with, “I always thought it was my family who needed me. But I’ve finally realized that I needed them just as much. I needed them to hold onto when everything was so scary and difficult and uncertain, when the man I loved most in the world was suddenly gone one day. But when I met you, I realized I’d finally found someone I was willing to let go of them for."
“No, Marcus,” she said, shaking her head. “You shouldn’t ever have to let go of your family. You have enough love in your heart for all of them and the family of your own you’ll probably have soon.” She made herself choke out the words. “I know you’re going to find someone perfect for you. Perfect for your life.”
“I already have.”
The tears she’d vowed not to let loose began to fall. “Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is. Not when you and I both know no matter how much we want this to work, that it never will.” She looked up at him through her tears. “I’ll never regret being with you. Not when they were the most beautiful moments of my life.” She took a deep breath that shook through her. “I changed my plane to leave tonight instead of tomorrow morning. I should go back and pack up my things.”
She turned to walk back to his mother’s house, when his voice stopped her in her tracks one more time.
“We both know you don’t want this. We both know one kiss, one touch, is all it would take for me to change your mind.”
Gone was the man who’d been pleading with her to listen, to see things from his side. In his place was the dominant lover who had thrilled her so much, made her shiver with desire and showed her the most incredible pleasures.
“You’re right, Marcus,” she agreed, making herself turn to face him again. “I’m powerless against your kisses. I can’t resist the way you touch me.” She looked into his eyes and admitted everything, purposefully gave him a fully loaded arsenal of ammo to use against her. “I can’t fight the hunger in your eyes when you look at me or my reaction to it. But is that what you want? For me to be nothing but a warm, willing body that can’t resist coming for you?”
Dominance turned to anger in a heartbeat, and then he was moving fast, his hands on her shoulders, his mouth punishing hers as he took everything he wanted, everything she wished she could give him, but couldn’t.
As he’d just pointed out, Nicola knew it was pointless to try and fight his kiss. Even in front of his family she’d been lost to her need for him. Even when he was furious with her for trying to leave when he wanted her to stay, even when she should be furious right back at him for finally treating her like the sex kitten he said she didn’t need to be anymore, all she could feel was his heart beating against hers…along with her love for him beating just as strong, even as he used her weakness for him against her.
But just when she thought he was going to rip off her clothes and take her right there, up against the old metal slide, he pushed her away and held her out at arm’s length.
“This isn’t over between us. Not even close.”
She let herself take one last long look at him. “It has to be over.”
And this time when she made a move to walk away, he let her go.
Only, even after he took her to her hotel, even hours later when she was settled beneath a blanket in First Class and the plane was flying away from San Francisco, she knew better.
Marcus Sullivan was a man who decided exactly what he wanted and then went out and took it. And for some crazy reason, he seemed to want her.
As she fell into an uneasy sleep on the plane, even as she told herself she didn’t want him to fight for her, her dreams of Marcus—full of his kisses and caresses, his hungry eyes, and his sweet words of love—wouldn’t let her hide from the truth.
Chapter Twenty-three
It had been fifteen days, six hours, and twenty-three minutes since she’d last seen—or heard—from Marcus.
She’d been wrong. He didn’t want her.
Nicola knew she should be glad about it, happy that she wasn’t going to have to keep resisting him. But she was a long, long way from happy...about as far as she could be, actually.
Her manager walked into her office, waving a fax. “Billboard just let me know that One Moment debuted at number one on the pop charts! And—wait for it, you’re going to really freak out when you hear this—your entire tour just sold out in two hours! We’re going to need to add dates. A ton of dates. You won’t be seeing your house for a good year and a half if we’re lucky!”
This was everything she’d ever wanted. The huge smash hit. The big, international sold-out tour. But even as she and Jane hugged and high-fived and Jane started talking a mile a minute about how brilliant Nicola had been to shoot another last-minute video for One Moment—just her and her guitar on an otherwise empty stage—and insist that the record label release the acoustic version, too, Nicola knew that she would have been so much happier if she could have shared this success with Marcus.
She could almost picture him telling her how proud he was, saying he’d known she could do this.
And that he loved her.
Without warning, one fat tear spilled down her cheek. Fortunately, her manager thought it was happy crying and after planting a kiss on both of Nicola’s cheeks, she grabbed the phone that was ringing off the hook and spun out of the room to go wheel and deal them into a heck of a lot more money.
Nicola walked over to the window and pressed her hand against the glass, staring out at the busy Los Angeles streets below. Three weeks ago she’d been staring out at the streets of San Francisco.
She’d been in so many tall buildings. Had visited so many busy cities. The world was her oyster more now than ever. It wasn’t that it didn’t mean a damn thing without love—of course her success meant something. And yet, love made everything so much richer, so much sweeter. Yes, sex with Marcus had been mind-blowing, but just knowing his arms were waiting to hold her, that she could lay her cheek against the steady beat of his heart...well, that was the kind of happiness that lasted forever.
