From Twinkle, with Love
Page 4
I stared at her. “Are you serious?” Midsummer Night was the biggest event of the year at PPC, before we got our measly one-month-long summer break.
She raised her eyebrow, like, Duh.
“Maddie, no. I can’t do that. Everybody would be watching it and stuff.”
“Um, yeah. That’s basically the point? Plus, you could use it in your college apps!”
I felt a pinprick of cringy-hotness again. Like my parents could afford college. “I’m still thinking no. I mean, I’ve only ever made videos on YouTube before. You know how many subscribers I have on my YouTube channel, Maddie? Seven. Three are Dadi, who keeps forgetting she made an account and making more, one is you, and the rest are porn bots. That’s a little different from airing a movie for the entire school to watch on-screen in an auditorium.”
Maddie sighed so hard I felt my hair move a little. “Twinkle, what’s your number one goal in life?”
“To change lives with my films and show the world what a Desi girl can do,” I said proudly. It was sort of my mission statement. (Mission statements were Maddie’s idea from three years ago. Hers is “To become the premier physician-scientist working in the realm of gender-based medicine and, specifically, takotsubo cardiomyopathy as it affects women.”)
She nodded. “Okay. So, do you have any other ideas to get the world to notice you?” Maddie crossed her arms, and all her charm bracelets clinked together.
Not to be nitpicky, but she used to hate bracelets. She said they made it super annoying to type and lowered her words per minute to under one hundred and thirty. But then Hannah, Francesca, Victoria, and she went to this little boutique in Denver, and now they all wear the same matching charm bracelets.
“No,” I mumbled, scuffing the floor with the toe of my Converse. How am I supposed to begin changing lives if said lives don’t even know I exist?
Someone cleared their throat behind me. I turned to see Sahil Roy looking down at me from his six-foot vantage. “Hey, guys. Sorry for eavesdropping, but, um, I might have an idea. About how to get noticed?” he said.
We both stared at him. Me because I was confused and Maddie probably because she was wondering why on earth Sahil Roy was talking to her at all.
“About a film you could make for a big audience, I mean,” Sahil continued hastily when he saw our blank faces. “Instead of making one by yourself, what do you think about making one with me?” Seeing my “meh” face, he continued. “Pretty much the entire student body shows up for Midsummer Night.”
My “meh” face transformed into my terrified face. “I’ve never directed a movie before. Not on this scale.”
Sahil kept going. “I know it sounds scary. But I think I could really help as a producer and general sounding board. I get the analysis side of movies.” He paused, as if deciding whether to share something before continuing. “Um, my film criticisms have been published on Film FANatic, if that helps.”
Whoa. “Are you kidding?” To Maddie, I said, “Film FANatic is the biggest film website out there. They usually only publish reviews from professional critics. There are rumors that Roger Ebert got his start there.” Even Maddie looked impressed.
Sahil waved his hand, looking embarrassed. “Ah, I don’t know. … I think that might just be a rumor. But my point is, if you want exposure, if you want to make a career at this thing … this might be the way to do it. You direct, I produce. I’m good, Twinkle. I can help.”
Despite my debilitating shyness, a spark of excitement began to fizz and pop inside me. How long had I dreamed of someone besides Dadi and xxlovebotxx watching my videos? How long had I wanted to get my stories out there, have my voice heard? “It might be cool,” I said, a small smile at my lips. “A bunch of media peeps from the paper and stuff come, too. Now that I think about it, it could be huge.” What if my movie made it into thousands of people’s houses on local TV channels? What if they began to trickle over to my YouTube channel, to see if I had more? My heart raced. This could be it, the beginning of using my art to change the world. Of people seeing me.
“Yes!” Sahil grinned, seeming relieved, and held out his fist for a fist bump. Only by the time I reacted and went to bump it, he had switched to a high five and we ended up with his hand wrapped awkwardly around my fist. I could see Maddie watching us groundlings, her lips clamped together like she was trying hard not to laugh. Sahil cleared his throat and dropped his hand. “Uh … anyway. I have zero interest in making movies. But you …” He shrugged. “If you think you might wanna do this, we could talk more?”
Maddie looked from him to me and back again.
Since she wasn’t weighing in, I made an executive decision. “Yes, okay,” I said, nodding firmly. “Let’s meet up tomorrow at lunch.”
“Cool,” Sahil said, smiling a slightly mischievous smile. “Maybe on the green outside the caf? I think it’s supposed to be nice.”
I smiled too, excitement bubbling inside me. “Sounds totally grab!”
He stared at me. And blinked.
My excitement dribbled away, my face going purple. I did not just say that. Smooth, Twinkle. You’re off to a great start as an aspiring director. “Um, great. And, um, fab. I kinda … combined … Anyway. See you then.”
He laughed a little and then loped off quickly, awkwardly dodging a trash can in the hallway at the last minute.
At least I wasn’t alone on Planet Doofus.
I shook my head, actual goose bumps sprouting on my arms and legs as it sank in. “Oh. My. God. I might be directing a movie for Midsummer freaking Night.”
Maddie’s pearly pink lips had gone all pouty. “But Sahil?” Her expression made it clear she definitely didn’t think Sahil Roy was my ticket to greatness and discovery. “I don’t know if people will take him seriously. He’s … geektastic.”
I looked at her, this sinking feeling in my chest. Because to her being a geek was a bad thing now. Was that why she wasn’t my friend any longer? “Geeks are smart and talented and passionate,” I mumbled, not even looking at her. “I don’t think that’s a bad thing.” And you never used to, either, I wanted to add. But didn’t, because I am a total coward.
Maddie half shrugged. “Maybe not.” She paused for a moment, thinking. “And, you know, working with Sahil might be your in to hanging out with Neil. And more.” She winked lasciviously.
I wished she wouldn’t broadcast my crush on Maddie FM. “Shh!” I leaped forward and put my hand on her mouth. And then immediately pulled it back. My palm was covered with her lip gloss. “Oops, sorry.”
“S’okay,” she said, pulling out a tube of lip gloss from the side pocket of her backpack and reapplying it. She snapped the lid on and slipped it back.
“Besides,” I continued, “Neil’s at that pre-Olympic swim training thingy. I heard them talking about it at Perk yesterday. He won’t even be back in school until the end of the month.”
“I know, but he goes home at night and on the weekends. Maybe you’ll go over to Sahil’s house once or twice for movie stuff and he’ll be there. Voilà!”
I laughed, happy that things seemed better between us, at least for right now. “Maybe.”
“Meet you at your locker after school like usual?”
“Okay.”
Maddie nodded and then planted two air kisses on each of my cheeks. She smelled like her Poppy perfume, warm and sunny. Hooking a hand around each of the straps of her pink plaid backpack, she spun with a swirl of her skirt and walked off to class.
I stood there for a moment, feeling suddenly insecure. Was making this movie and showcasing it for the entire school a giant mistake? I mean, this was going to essentially be a message from my soul, on display for all the silk feathered hats to gawk at. Besides, I’d never, ever made a movie with someone else before. Making art was intimate. Was I ready to share that with a boy I barely knew?
But Maddie was goals for me when it came to following her passion. I had no doubt she was going to become the premier physician-scientist of whatchamacallit. And I wanted what she had. I wanted people to see me, to like me for who I was and what I had to offer. I wanted to use my talent to transform people’s lives and how they saw the world. So I nodded (to myself) and walked off to class, trying for the same swagger Maddie had.
She raised her eyebrow, like, Duh.
“Maddie, no. I can’t do that. Everybody would be watching it and stuff.”
“Um, yeah. That’s basically the point? Plus, you could use it in your college apps!”
I felt a pinprick of cringy-hotness again. Like my parents could afford college. “I’m still thinking no. I mean, I’ve only ever made videos on YouTube before. You know how many subscribers I have on my YouTube channel, Maddie? Seven. Three are Dadi, who keeps forgetting she made an account and making more, one is you, and the rest are porn bots. That’s a little different from airing a movie for the entire school to watch on-screen in an auditorium.”
Maddie sighed so hard I felt my hair move a little. “Twinkle, what’s your number one goal in life?”
“To change lives with my films and show the world what a Desi girl can do,” I said proudly. It was sort of my mission statement. (Mission statements were Maddie’s idea from three years ago. Hers is “To become the premier physician-scientist working in the realm of gender-based medicine and, specifically, takotsubo cardiomyopathy as it affects women.”)
She nodded. “Okay. So, do you have any other ideas to get the world to notice you?” Maddie crossed her arms, and all her charm bracelets clinked together.
Not to be nitpicky, but she used to hate bracelets. She said they made it super annoying to type and lowered her words per minute to under one hundred and thirty. But then Hannah, Francesca, Victoria, and she went to this little boutique in Denver, and now they all wear the same matching charm bracelets.
“No,” I mumbled, scuffing the floor with the toe of my Converse. How am I supposed to begin changing lives if said lives don’t even know I exist?
Someone cleared their throat behind me. I turned to see Sahil Roy looking down at me from his six-foot vantage. “Hey, guys. Sorry for eavesdropping, but, um, I might have an idea. About how to get noticed?” he said.
We both stared at him. Me because I was confused and Maddie probably because she was wondering why on earth Sahil Roy was talking to her at all.
“About a film you could make for a big audience, I mean,” Sahil continued hastily when he saw our blank faces. “Instead of making one by yourself, what do you think about making one with me?” Seeing my “meh” face, he continued. “Pretty much the entire student body shows up for Midsummer Night.”
My “meh” face transformed into my terrified face. “I’ve never directed a movie before. Not on this scale.”
Sahil kept going. “I know it sounds scary. But I think I could really help as a producer and general sounding board. I get the analysis side of movies.” He paused, as if deciding whether to share something before continuing. “Um, my film criticisms have been published on Film FANatic, if that helps.”
Whoa. “Are you kidding?” To Maddie, I said, “Film FANatic is the biggest film website out there. They usually only publish reviews from professional critics. There are rumors that Roger Ebert got his start there.” Even Maddie looked impressed.
Sahil waved his hand, looking embarrassed. “Ah, I don’t know. … I think that might just be a rumor. But my point is, if you want exposure, if you want to make a career at this thing … this might be the way to do it. You direct, I produce. I’m good, Twinkle. I can help.”
Despite my debilitating shyness, a spark of excitement began to fizz and pop inside me. How long had I dreamed of someone besides Dadi and xxlovebotxx watching my videos? How long had I wanted to get my stories out there, have my voice heard? “It might be cool,” I said, a small smile at my lips. “A bunch of media peeps from the paper and stuff come, too. Now that I think about it, it could be huge.” What if my movie made it into thousands of people’s houses on local TV channels? What if they began to trickle over to my YouTube channel, to see if I had more? My heart raced. This could be it, the beginning of using my art to change the world. Of people seeing me.
“Yes!” Sahil grinned, seeming relieved, and held out his fist for a fist bump. Only by the time I reacted and went to bump it, he had switched to a high five and we ended up with his hand wrapped awkwardly around my fist. I could see Maddie watching us groundlings, her lips clamped together like she was trying hard not to laugh. Sahil cleared his throat and dropped his hand. “Uh … anyway. I have zero interest in making movies. But you …” He shrugged. “If you think you might wanna do this, we could talk more?”
Maddie looked from him to me and back again.
Since she wasn’t weighing in, I made an executive decision. “Yes, okay,” I said, nodding firmly. “Let’s meet up tomorrow at lunch.”
“Cool,” Sahil said, smiling a slightly mischievous smile. “Maybe on the green outside the caf? I think it’s supposed to be nice.”
I smiled too, excitement bubbling inside me. “Sounds totally grab!”
He stared at me. And blinked.
My excitement dribbled away, my face going purple. I did not just say that. Smooth, Twinkle. You’re off to a great start as an aspiring director. “Um, great. And, um, fab. I kinda … combined … Anyway. See you then.”
He laughed a little and then loped off quickly, awkwardly dodging a trash can in the hallway at the last minute.
At least I wasn’t alone on Planet Doofus.
I shook my head, actual goose bumps sprouting on my arms and legs as it sank in. “Oh. My. God. I might be directing a movie for Midsummer freaking Night.”
Maddie’s pearly pink lips had gone all pouty. “But Sahil?” Her expression made it clear she definitely didn’t think Sahil Roy was my ticket to greatness and discovery. “I don’t know if people will take him seriously. He’s … geektastic.”
I looked at her, this sinking feeling in my chest. Because to her being a geek was a bad thing now. Was that why she wasn’t my friend any longer? “Geeks are smart and talented and passionate,” I mumbled, not even looking at her. “I don’t think that’s a bad thing.” And you never used to, either, I wanted to add. But didn’t, because I am a total coward.
Maddie half shrugged. “Maybe not.” She paused for a moment, thinking. “And, you know, working with Sahil might be your in to hanging out with Neil. And more.” She winked lasciviously.
I wished she wouldn’t broadcast my crush on Maddie FM. “Shh!” I leaped forward and put my hand on her mouth. And then immediately pulled it back. My palm was covered with her lip gloss. “Oops, sorry.”
“S’okay,” she said, pulling out a tube of lip gloss from the side pocket of her backpack and reapplying it. She snapped the lid on and slipped it back.
“Besides,” I continued, “Neil’s at that pre-Olympic swim training thingy. I heard them talking about it at Perk yesterday. He won’t even be back in school until the end of the month.”
“I know, but he goes home at night and on the weekends. Maybe you’ll go over to Sahil’s house once or twice for movie stuff and he’ll be there. Voilà!”
I laughed, happy that things seemed better between us, at least for right now. “Maybe.”
“Meet you at your locker after school like usual?”
“Okay.”
Maddie nodded and then planted two air kisses on each of my cheeks. She smelled like her Poppy perfume, warm and sunny. Hooking a hand around each of the straps of her pink plaid backpack, she spun with a swirl of her skirt and walked off to class.
I stood there for a moment, feeling suddenly insecure. Was making this movie and showcasing it for the entire school a giant mistake? I mean, this was going to essentially be a message from my soul, on display for all the silk feathered hats to gawk at. Besides, I’d never, ever made a movie with someone else before. Making art was intimate. Was I ready to share that with a boy I barely knew?
But Maddie was goals for me when it came to following her passion. I had no doubt she was going to become the premier physician-scientist of whatchamacallit. And I wanted what she had. I wanted people to see me, to like me for who I was and what I had to offer. I wanted to use my talent to transform people’s lives and how they saw the world. So I nodded (to myself) and walked off to class, trying for the same swagger Maddie had.
