From Twinkle, with Love
Page 52
I glanced at Maddie, who was playing with a Twizzler and looking intently at me. “It’s okay,” I began to say to the both of them. “Well, maybe it’s not okay. But I … I understand. I know losing Maddie as my best friend hurt.” I smiled a little. “I let that hurt change me, too. But someone recently told me that if you can take steps to correct your mistakes, it makes a world of difference. And I respect that you’re doing that, Hannah.”
She smiled. “So … you forgive me?”
“Yeah. I do. And, you know. We can all still hang out, if you want.”
Her smile brightened. “Thanks. I’d like that.”
Maddie nodded.
“Anyway, I think you guys have some talking to do, so I’m gonna head out. Thanks for listening, Twinkle.”
“Thanks for apologizing,” I said, waving as she tip-tapped her way to the exit. Wow. Talk about blurring the line that separates us, Sofia. It was like a scene right out of one of your movies.
I took a breath and turned to Maddie. She took a big bite of her Twizzler and chewed. “I like your bracelet,” she said, shaking her wrist. I saw the other half of the heart charm there, and felt a lump in my throat.
“Thank you for getting it for me. It’s perfect.”
She smiled a little and shrugged. “I got it a long time ago.”
I cleared my throat. “I … I thought you left. After the movie.”
“No. After Hannah and I spoke, I was outside, in Brij’s car. We were … talking.” I raised an eyebrow and her cheeks stained a light pink. “Yeah … he’s … nice.” One corner of her mouth lifted up. “Really nice.”
“Oh.” Grinning, I took a bite of my Twizzler. So my matchmaking had paid off, after all. “And Lewis?”
Maddie shook her head and tucked a loose strand of hair behind one ear. “Lewis and I aren’t … He was talking to his dad for me. You know his dad’s on the boards of a few hospitals?” I nodded. “So, there’s this big internship over the summer on the Johns Hopkins campus he thinks he can put in a good word for me for. Only three people from the entire country are chosen for it, and every single person who’s been chosen has been accepted to Johns Hopkins.” She grinned suddenly.
“Oh my God,” I said, staring at her. “That’s everything you’ve ever wanted since you were, like, six, Maddie.”
“I know.” Her eyes shone. “I’m just … I have my fingers crossed. I’ll hear in two weeks if I got in or not.”
“You’ll get in. I know you will.”
Maddie smiled. “Thank you.” She was wearing a side ponytail, big chandelier earrings, and winged eyeliner. She looked like a professional actress at her first-ever premiere. Some people just naturally have that glam gene. I am so not one of them. I could tell my hair was frizzing, and my purple tutu skirt was completely rumpled. My lip gloss was probably all over my teeth. “So. You didn’t show the footage,” Maddie said quietly.
I let out a breath. “No, I didn’t.”
She nodded and kept chewing. “Why not?”
Sighing, I took another bite of my Twizzler. “I don’t know. Maybe I learned that spreading gossip for popularity is a douche-heady move, even if I thought showing people the truth would be doing them a favor. In the end, I realized that we all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we deserve to have those mistakes plastered on the wall in an auditorium. Besides, every action I take is a brick in my character. Do I want to be the sort of person who spreads misery and unhappiness with my art?” I looked at her. “You were right. I’m sorry I didn’t see it then.”
She smiled at me. “You fixed the problem. That’s all that matters.”
I nodded and looked away. “I guess so.” I wondered if Mummy showing up tonight had been her way of trying to fix something too.
“Twinkie.”
I looked back at her, my heart squeezing at the sound of her childhood nickname for me.
“You were right too. I have been bad at trying to balance my new friendships with my old ones.” She grabbed my hand. “I’m so, so sorry. It’s been horrible for you, hasn’t it?”
“It’s … yeah.” I shrugged. “It was pretty awful at first. But recently, with the movie and everything … I had Sahil, and Skid, and Aaron, and Victoria. They helped me feel not so alone. Besides, it wasn’t all you. I had a hard time coming to terms with you making new friends too. I … It exposed all my insecurities, like a raw nerve, and you saw what happened. I went ballistic.”
“Maybe a little.” After a pause, she added, “Hey, so, Brij told me about the whole secret admirer thing.”
I glanced at her, surprised. “He did? Did it bother you?”
She laughed. “No. I told him it was obvious why he had a crush on you. You’re adorable.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Right. And anyway, he stopped having a crush on me because he realized you were the truly adorable one.”
She waved me off, but her cheeks turned a bright pink, and I knew she was happy. “But tell me something. Are you and Sahil …?”
I smiled a little at her expression, but my heart hurt at the truth. “It’s a long story, but … no. Not anymore.”
She tugged on my fingers. “Hey. I’ve got time.”
I watched her, trying to figure out if she was just saying that to be nice. But all I saw was love and friendship. So I filled her in on everything that had happened, with me thinking Brij was Neil, with how Sahil and I had fallen for each other, and how he wanted nothing at all to do with me anymore because of the whole Neil thing. How it was so much bigger than sibling rivalry, like I’d thought at first.
Maddie tapped her fingers against the armrest as I spoke. “You know, that makes sense,” she said when I finished. “Remember when you had bronchitis and were too sick to go to that skit a bunch of us put on in second grade?”
“Vaguely …”
“It was that talent show thing for our parents one summer. I think we set up the fake stage on Skid’s deck. Anyway, Neil and Sahil were a joint act, and they decided to do a bit from a Frog and Toad book. So, they got up there and Neil delivered his lines perfectly. And when it was Sahil’s turn, he just … shut down.”
“What do you mean, shut down? What did he do?”
“Nothing. That’s the thing.” Maddie sighed. “He just stood there, staring at all the parents and us kids, and his mouth opened and then closed again, like a fish.”
I winced, feeling humiliated on Sahil’s behalf. “Oh my God.”
“Yeah. So then Neil stepped forward and seamlessly took over Sahil’s part too. He did these two different voices, one for Frog and the other for Toad—which was supposed to be Sahil—and the parents and the other kids loved it. Everyone was clapping and laughing and cheering for Neil. And Sahil just … faded off into the background. And then he stepped off the stage and no one noticed, because everyone was looking at Neil. I still remember, though. I remember feeling bad for Sahil, but at the same time … that’s just how it was, even back then. He wasn’t meant for the limelight like Neil was.”
“Yeah, but … what a horrible way to figure that out.” My heart was breaking in my chest at the thought of tiny, eight-year-old Sahil realizing people were so much more adoring of his brother. That he just couldn’t compete.
“Yeah. And you know what? Now that I think about it, Neil went off with Lewis and the other guys afterward. But Sahil stayed behind and helped clean up. I think that’s the summer he, Skid, and Aaron became good friends.”
“Sahil’s selfless like that, always doing the right thing.” And I’d broken his heart. He thought I was the one person who wouldn’t put him up against Neil, that I wouldn’t compare them, and I’d done just that. “I screwed up bad, Maddie,” I said, my voice thick with tears. “He took my hand at the end of the movie and I thought maybe he’d be able to forgive me … but no. As soon as I said his name, he walked off. Like he said, it hurts too much for him to even look at me. He hates my guts.”
She smiled. “So … you forgive me?”
“Yeah. I do. And, you know. We can all still hang out, if you want.”
Her smile brightened. “Thanks. I’d like that.”
Maddie nodded.
“Anyway, I think you guys have some talking to do, so I’m gonna head out. Thanks for listening, Twinkle.”
“Thanks for apologizing,” I said, waving as she tip-tapped her way to the exit. Wow. Talk about blurring the line that separates us, Sofia. It was like a scene right out of one of your movies.
I took a breath and turned to Maddie. She took a big bite of her Twizzler and chewed. “I like your bracelet,” she said, shaking her wrist. I saw the other half of the heart charm there, and felt a lump in my throat.
“Thank you for getting it for me. It’s perfect.”
She smiled a little and shrugged. “I got it a long time ago.”
I cleared my throat. “I … I thought you left. After the movie.”
“No. After Hannah and I spoke, I was outside, in Brij’s car. We were … talking.” I raised an eyebrow and her cheeks stained a light pink. “Yeah … he’s … nice.” One corner of her mouth lifted up. “Really nice.”
“Oh.” Grinning, I took a bite of my Twizzler. So my matchmaking had paid off, after all. “And Lewis?”
Maddie shook her head and tucked a loose strand of hair behind one ear. “Lewis and I aren’t … He was talking to his dad for me. You know his dad’s on the boards of a few hospitals?” I nodded. “So, there’s this big internship over the summer on the Johns Hopkins campus he thinks he can put in a good word for me for. Only three people from the entire country are chosen for it, and every single person who’s been chosen has been accepted to Johns Hopkins.” She grinned suddenly.
“Oh my God,” I said, staring at her. “That’s everything you’ve ever wanted since you were, like, six, Maddie.”
“I know.” Her eyes shone. “I’m just … I have my fingers crossed. I’ll hear in two weeks if I got in or not.”
“You’ll get in. I know you will.”
Maddie smiled. “Thank you.” She was wearing a side ponytail, big chandelier earrings, and winged eyeliner. She looked like a professional actress at her first-ever premiere. Some people just naturally have that glam gene. I am so not one of them. I could tell my hair was frizzing, and my purple tutu skirt was completely rumpled. My lip gloss was probably all over my teeth. “So. You didn’t show the footage,” Maddie said quietly.
I let out a breath. “No, I didn’t.”
She nodded and kept chewing. “Why not?”
Sighing, I took another bite of my Twizzler. “I don’t know. Maybe I learned that spreading gossip for popularity is a douche-heady move, even if I thought showing people the truth would be doing them a favor. In the end, I realized that we all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we deserve to have those mistakes plastered on the wall in an auditorium. Besides, every action I take is a brick in my character. Do I want to be the sort of person who spreads misery and unhappiness with my art?” I looked at her. “You were right. I’m sorry I didn’t see it then.”
She smiled at me. “You fixed the problem. That’s all that matters.”
I nodded and looked away. “I guess so.” I wondered if Mummy showing up tonight had been her way of trying to fix something too.
“Twinkie.”
I looked back at her, my heart squeezing at the sound of her childhood nickname for me.
“You were right too. I have been bad at trying to balance my new friendships with my old ones.” She grabbed my hand. “I’m so, so sorry. It’s been horrible for you, hasn’t it?”
“It’s … yeah.” I shrugged. “It was pretty awful at first. But recently, with the movie and everything … I had Sahil, and Skid, and Aaron, and Victoria. They helped me feel not so alone. Besides, it wasn’t all you. I had a hard time coming to terms with you making new friends too. I … It exposed all my insecurities, like a raw nerve, and you saw what happened. I went ballistic.”
“Maybe a little.” After a pause, she added, “Hey, so, Brij told me about the whole secret admirer thing.”
I glanced at her, surprised. “He did? Did it bother you?”
She laughed. “No. I told him it was obvious why he had a crush on you. You’re adorable.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Right. And anyway, he stopped having a crush on me because he realized you were the truly adorable one.”
She waved me off, but her cheeks turned a bright pink, and I knew she was happy. “But tell me something. Are you and Sahil …?”
I smiled a little at her expression, but my heart hurt at the truth. “It’s a long story, but … no. Not anymore.”
She tugged on my fingers. “Hey. I’ve got time.”
I watched her, trying to figure out if she was just saying that to be nice. But all I saw was love and friendship. So I filled her in on everything that had happened, with me thinking Brij was Neil, with how Sahil and I had fallen for each other, and how he wanted nothing at all to do with me anymore because of the whole Neil thing. How it was so much bigger than sibling rivalry, like I’d thought at first.
Maddie tapped her fingers against the armrest as I spoke. “You know, that makes sense,” she said when I finished. “Remember when you had bronchitis and were too sick to go to that skit a bunch of us put on in second grade?”
“Vaguely …”
“It was that talent show thing for our parents one summer. I think we set up the fake stage on Skid’s deck. Anyway, Neil and Sahil were a joint act, and they decided to do a bit from a Frog and Toad book. So, they got up there and Neil delivered his lines perfectly. And when it was Sahil’s turn, he just … shut down.”
“What do you mean, shut down? What did he do?”
“Nothing. That’s the thing.” Maddie sighed. “He just stood there, staring at all the parents and us kids, and his mouth opened and then closed again, like a fish.”
I winced, feeling humiliated on Sahil’s behalf. “Oh my God.”
“Yeah. So then Neil stepped forward and seamlessly took over Sahil’s part too. He did these two different voices, one for Frog and the other for Toad—which was supposed to be Sahil—and the parents and the other kids loved it. Everyone was clapping and laughing and cheering for Neil. And Sahil just … faded off into the background. And then he stepped off the stage and no one noticed, because everyone was looking at Neil. I still remember, though. I remember feeling bad for Sahil, but at the same time … that’s just how it was, even back then. He wasn’t meant for the limelight like Neil was.”
“Yeah, but … what a horrible way to figure that out.” My heart was breaking in my chest at the thought of tiny, eight-year-old Sahil realizing people were so much more adoring of his brother. That he just couldn’t compete.
“Yeah. And you know what? Now that I think about it, Neil went off with Lewis and the other guys afterward. But Sahil stayed behind and helped clean up. I think that’s the summer he, Skid, and Aaron became good friends.”
“Sahil’s selfless like that, always doing the right thing.” And I’d broken his heart. He thought I was the one person who wouldn’t put him up against Neil, that I wouldn’t compare them, and I’d done just that. “I screwed up bad, Maddie,” I said, my voice thick with tears. “He took my hand at the end of the movie and I thought maybe he’d be able to forgive me … but no. As soon as I said his name, he walked off. Like he said, it hurts too much for him to even look at me. He hates my guts.”
