Frostbitten
Page 53
"You admit I beat you," I murmured between nibbles. "And we'll adjourn to the showers."
"Beat me is a little strong. You briefly got the upper hand. I'll admit to that."
"Nuh-uh. Beat you."
"Temporarily bested." He jerked his hands free.
I caught and pinned them again. "Beat." I tickled my tongue up to his ear, making him shiver again. "If you care to contest it, we could go a few more rounds." I leaned into him, rubbing against him. "Postpone the showers. Hope no one else shows up in the mean time."
He closed his eyes, hips lifting to grind into mine. When I pulled back, he growled deep in his throat and opened one eye.
"So to get sex, I need to cede defeat?" he said.
"Yep. Nasty and totally unfair, I know. But… " I slid my hand to his belly, tickling under his shirt. "Since I do seem to have the position of control… "
"Temporarily."
My hand slid under his waistband. "Ceding a fight is tough, I know." I wrapped my fingers around him and gave one firm stroke. His eyelids fluttered and he growled again, then he reared up, throwing me off. I tried to scrabble out of reach, but he grabbed my leg, yanking me facedown to the mat, then flipping me onto my back and pinning me.
"That's better," he said. "No need to choose when I can have it both ways."
I struggled, but he had the advantage of weight and strength.
He grinned.
"Like that, do you?" I said. "Well, there's one flaw in your plan. Unless you can get me into that change-room by force, the shower is out."
"No need to go at all, is there?" He glanced at the door, then pushed my shirt up over my stomach and tweaked my waistband. "Haven't seen anyone in almost an hour. And I'm nothing if not quick."
"You wouldn't dare."
A teeth-flashing smile. "Is that a challenge, darling?"
"No, it absolutely is not." I squirmed, but even with just one hand holding my wrists, he had me pinned better than I'd had him with two.
He pushed my T-shirt up my rib cage, stopping just below my breasts, then sliding his hand under, tweaking my nipples hard enough to make me gasp… and momentarily forget that I was op posed to this idea.
When I remembered to protest, he cut me off with a kiss. We broke off fast when footsteps sounded in the hall. They headed the other way.
"Going to the business center," Clay murmured. "No one's coming in here, so there's no reason I can't just… " He slid my sweat pants down over one hip and hooked a finger through my panties, giving a tug.
I tried to squirm away. "Don't you dare."
"Would you prefer the change-room? It's still an option." He nudged my knees apart. "Just say the word. You forfeit and we can take this someplace more-"
I leapt up. He hung onto my hands… until they swung up and clipped him in the chin. I scrambled out from under him. He lunged for my legs, but I backed out of his reach and shot to my feet. As he rose, I kicked his legs out. He went down, landing hard on the mat. I straddled his chest.
He sighed.
I victory punched the air. He shot up, grabbing me under the arms and tickling me. I squealed and caught his hands, and was about to pin him when I noticed a figure standing in the doorway.
It was Joey, watching us.
"You wanted to talk to me?" he said.
I scrambled off Clay, and stood, tugging my shirt down. It already covered me just fine, but I tugged it anyway, cheeks heating.
"Yeah, we did," Clay said. "You had breakfast?"
"Yes, but I suppose you haven't." A smile cracked Joey's composure. "And if I remember correctly, we'd better attend to that first or I can't expect to get a rational sentence from you."
"You two go on," I said. "I'll shower and catch up."
WHEN MY BLOOD stopped pounding, I switched the cold shower to warm, tilted my face up into the water and tried not to think of how much more fun this shower would have been if Joey hadn't shown up. I could still feel adrenaline slamming through my veins, the lingering euphoria better than any chemical buzz. And it was more than adrenaline. It was confidence, my anxiety over facing Travis Tesler again fading.
Given my background, my dominance play with Clay might seem odd. Disturbing even. One day I'm reduced to gibbering terror by a mutt pinning me to the ground and threatening rape. Less than twenty-four hours later, I'm letting my partner pin me, threatening public sex.
I'm sure I don't want to hear what a psychiatrist would say about that. But for me, it works. It makes sense. With Clay, it was different. When we'd first met, he'd taken his time. Friends first, then, very slowly, shifting to lovers. With Clay, I was always in control. I still am.
Dominance play is about control. For some, the thrill is giving it up. For me, it's about taking it back. I don't need "release words" with Clay. If I so much as tense, he stops. I choose to take the lead or I choose to give it to him. My choice. Always. That has healed me more than years of therapy ever could.
Yet, as strong as I felt right now, I knew my gut would seize with terror when I saw Tesler again. But for now I felt ready to handle it.
NOAH
CLAY AND JOEY were in the hotel restaurant, deep in conversation when I entered. Or, at least, Clay was deep in conversation, explaining something, his hands waving, a slice of toast in one, crumbs flying. I headed for the buffet, but a large table of businesspeople beat me to it. Clay caught my eye and waved me over. As I approached, he kicked out a chair for me, then moved his plate between us. "Clayton sharing his food?" Joey said with a strained smile. "Must be love."
"No, he's just trying to make a good impression. Normally, he'd be stealing mine."
Clay started sliding the plate back his way, but I caught it and held it between us.
"Clay was just telling me about Nick," Joey said. "He said he's doing graphic design for his dad's company. I'm still trying to figure out if he's joking."
"He's not. Nick seems to like it. He's got a good eye for design."
"Now, that I can see. I remember how long it took the guy to buy a shirt. I bet there are a lot of nice-looking young women working in graphic design, too."
"Beat me is a little strong. You briefly got the upper hand. I'll admit to that."
"Nuh-uh. Beat you."
"Temporarily bested." He jerked his hands free.
I caught and pinned them again. "Beat." I tickled my tongue up to his ear, making him shiver again. "If you care to contest it, we could go a few more rounds." I leaned into him, rubbing against him. "Postpone the showers. Hope no one else shows up in the mean time."
He closed his eyes, hips lifting to grind into mine. When I pulled back, he growled deep in his throat and opened one eye.
"So to get sex, I need to cede defeat?" he said.
"Yep. Nasty and totally unfair, I know. But… " I slid my hand to his belly, tickling under his shirt. "Since I do seem to have the position of control… "
"Temporarily."
My hand slid under his waistband. "Ceding a fight is tough, I know." I wrapped my fingers around him and gave one firm stroke. His eyelids fluttered and he growled again, then he reared up, throwing me off. I tried to scrabble out of reach, but he grabbed my leg, yanking me facedown to the mat, then flipping me onto my back and pinning me.
"That's better," he said. "No need to choose when I can have it both ways."
I struggled, but he had the advantage of weight and strength.
He grinned.
"Like that, do you?" I said. "Well, there's one flaw in your plan. Unless you can get me into that change-room by force, the shower is out."
"No need to go at all, is there?" He glanced at the door, then pushed my shirt up over my stomach and tweaked my waistband. "Haven't seen anyone in almost an hour. And I'm nothing if not quick."
"You wouldn't dare."
A teeth-flashing smile. "Is that a challenge, darling?"
"No, it absolutely is not." I squirmed, but even with just one hand holding my wrists, he had me pinned better than I'd had him with two.
He pushed my T-shirt up my rib cage, stopping just below my breasts, then sliding his hand under, tweaking my nipples hard enough to make me gasp… and momentarily forget that I was op posed to this idea.
When I remembered to protest, he cut me off with a kiss. We broke off fast when footsteps sounded in the hall. They headed the other way.
"Going to the business center," Clay murmured. "No one's coming in here, so there's no reason I can't just… " He slid my sweat pants down over one hip and hooked a finger through my panties, giving a tug.
I tried to squirm away. "Don't you dare."
"Would you prefer the change-room? It's still an option." He nudged my knees apart. "Just say the word. You forfeit and we can take this someplace more-"
I leapt up. He hung onto my hands… until they swung up and clipped him in the chin. I scrambled out from under him. He lunged for my legs, but I backed out of his reach and shot to my feet. As he rose, I kicked his legs out. He went down, landing hard on the mat. I straddled his chest.
He sighed.
I victory punched the air. He shot up, grabbing me under the arms and tickling me. I squealed and caught his hands, and was about to pin him when I noticed a figure standing in the doorway.
It was Joey, watching us.
"You wanted to talk to me?" he said.
I scrambled off Clay, and stood, tugging my shirt down. It already covered me just fine, but I tugged it anyway, cheeks heating.
"Yeah, we did," Clay said. "You had breakfast?"
"Yes, but I suppose you haven't." A smile cracked Joey's composure. "And if I remember correctly, we'd better attend to that first or I can't expect to get a rational sentence from you."
"You two go on," I said. "I'll shower and catch up."
WHEN MY BLOOD stopped pounding, I switched the cold shower to warm, tilted my face up into the water and tried not to think of how much more fun this shower would have been if Joey hadn't shown up. I could still feel adrenaline slamming through my veins, the lingering euphoria better than any chemical buzz. And it was more than adrenaline. It was confidence, my anxiety over facing Travis Tesler again fading.
Given my background, my dominance play with Clay might seem odd. Disturbing even. One day I'm reduced to gibbering terror by a mutt pinning me to the ground and threatening rape. Less than twenty-four hours later, I'm letting my partner pin me, threatening public sex.
I'm sure I don't want to hear what a psychiatrist would say about that. But for me, it works. It makes sense. With Clay, it was different. When we'd first met, he'd taken his time. Friends first, then, very slowly, shifting to lovers. With Clay, I was always in control. I still am.
Dominance play is about control. For some, the thrill is giving it up. For me, it's about taking it back. I don't need "release words" with Clay. If I so much as tense, he stops. I choose to take the lead or I choose to give it to him. My choice. Always. That has healed me more than years of therapy ever could.
Yet, as strong as I felt right now, I knew my gut would seize with terror when I saw Tesler again. But for now I felt ready to handle it.
NOAH
CLAY AND JOEY were in the hotel restaurant, deep in conversation when I entered. Or, at least, Clay was deep in conversation, explaining something, his hands waving, a slice of toast in one, crumbs flying. I headed for the buffet, but a large table of businesspeople beat me to it. Clay caught my eye and waved me over. As I approached, he kicked out a chair for me, then moved his plate between us. "Clayton sharing his food?" Joey said with a strained smile. "Must be love."
"No, he's just trying to make a good impression. Normally, he'd be stealing mine."
Clay started sliding the plate back his way, but I caught it and held it between us.
"Clay was just telling me about Nick," Joey said. "He said he's doing graphic design for his dad's company. I'm still trying to figure out if he's joking."
"He's not. Nick seems to like it. He's got a good eye for design."
"Now, that I can see. I remember how long it took the guy to buy a shirt. I bet there are a lot of nice-looking young women working in graphic design, too."
