Full Circle

Page 79

Josiah made it outside when his phone rang. Tristan’s number lit up the screen.
“Hello?”
“Are you finished at the prison?”
“Yes. Just leaving.”
“I need you,” Tristan said. “I need you.”
Josiah’s pulse skyrocketed. He listened as Tristan told him to go back to the hotel. The cab ride seemed to take an eternity before it finally pulled up at the building.
Josiah burst through the hotel room door, worried. Tristan’s hair looked as though he had run a hand through it a million times. He paced the room. Mateo sat on the bed, watching.
“What is it, Tristan?” Josiah walked up to him and grabbed his wrist. “Your pulse is going crazy. One, two, three, four, five...” He counted for Tristan.
“I used to sell myself in a house in this city.”
The heat drained from Josiah’s body. “What do you mean?” Though he guessed he’d always known.
“It’s why I couldn’t be with you both the way you deserved. It’s why I couldn’t let you have me. School, and education...money was so fucking important to me that I sold myself. I did what I hated that my mom had done. I got money to take men into my body. I got on my knees when they told me to. Sometimes there were groups of them. I became their whore for money. I thought I needed to show Wilson what I had become, but that’s not it. It’s you.”
Josiah put one hand on each side of Tristan’s face. His body felt weak, sadness taking over him. He would gladly syphon all Tristan’s pain if he could.
“What about me?” Josiah asked.
“You are so good, so strong, and you’ve always looked at me like I can do anything. Even that first day at the Wharf. That’s what scared me. You looked at me like I was something, and I didn’t want to let you down. That’s who you are, baby. You make Mateo feel like someone, and you do that with me as well. Can you still look at me like that when you know what I’ve done? How weak I was? That’s what I need. Can you accept my ghosts the way you do Mateo’s?”
“Yes.” Josiah answered immediately. “How does that make you weak? You did what you had to do, just like Teo. You survived, just like Teo. Both of you survived on your own much better than I ever did. You had the strength to do what you had to do to survive. I crumbled. Ran. Nothing you’ve done will ever make me see you as any less than what you are. You are a man who knows how to love. A man who would do anything for his mother. A man who’d learned from his past and made a better life for himself. You are mine and Teo’s missing piece. You were the only one who had the strength to bring me back to life again when I died.”
Because he really had. That was exactly how it had felt when Teo left. Tristan brought him back to life. Then Teo resuscitated them all again.
Mateo stood and walked over to them.
“I was afraid to let you down. Mateo...he’s done some of the dark things I have, but you... I needed you to still look at me the same way. I need you both to trust me. I have been so scared of letting you down that I couldn’t let you in. I was so scared of letting you see all of me that I still ran from my past. I tried to take care of you both the wrong way. It wasn’t through Javier; it was through facing who I am, and what I’ve done. It’s by knowing you both love me regardless.”
“Siempre,” Mateo repeated himself in English. “Always.”
“You are one of the strongest men I know, Tristan. You both are.”
For hours, they held each other.
Later, the three of them stood at the door to the hotel before leaving to catch their plane. He’d told Teo what happened with his dad, and somehow it had brought him peace. They would never speak again, but Teo told them he had everything he needed.
Before he could walk out the door, Teo grabbed Josiah’s arm. “You know this is because of you, right? I never could have seen my dad, but you did it for me. No matter how many times I told Tristan that all he’d done had been to fight for his own survival, he never could have truly believed it without you. You are the good in us both.”
Which was all Josiah needed. His men, and to be their glue. A full circle.
EPILOGUE
Tristan
Three Months Later
The past few months had flown by. Tristan had started seeing Elliot twice a week, actually going into his office now. Elliot knew about Wilson and the things he’d done. It killed him, but all he could think about was a future with his men. This was the only way to have it. There were days he still wanted to kill Elliot, days he wanted to tell Josiah that he might murder his friend, but Tristan didn’t. He kept going, because that’s all you could really do in life anyway. Keep going or end it all. He had too much to live for to do anything else.