Gabe
Page 12
"Why did you stop just now? What were you going to say?"
I won't meet his eyes. It feels strangely intimate, talking to him like this but I have to remind myself that he's a stranger. He's beautiful and very easy to talk to but he's still someone that I don't know well.
"It's nothing."
He makes a soft sound of disagreement. "Come on. What have you got to lose telling the truth? You don't know me and I don't know you. You can finally say all the things you really want to say but can't most of the time. All day long we censor ourselves, tone things down or edit out the unpalatable bits of life and sometimes I wonder if we're losing the ability to be honest. Everyone is so afraid of causing offense that we've ceased saying anything that really matters."
His speech feels almost like it's aimed at me. Isn't that what I do all the time? I'm constantly making decisions about what I should talk about or not talk about. There are so many things that I can't say to my parents, my sisters or even my friends because they just don't get where I'm coming from and I'd rather say nothing than argue.
"That's easy for you to say, Mr. Perfect. You've probably never failed at anything. Whereas I seem to fail at everything. My singing career. Relationships. And today I found out my family is backing out of investing in my new business. Just one more thing to add to the failure pile. I should have just stayed home tonight for a little chocolate therapy. I'm not good company right now."
He turns back to look out over the city and I'm presented again with the perfect line of his profile. The lines of stress around his eyes do nothing to diminish the beauty of his face, only emphasizing it.
"You'd be surprised by the things I've failed at. The people I've let down. I'm talking about the kind of stuff that usually results in jail time. I wasn't a very good person for a long time. But I'm trying to change."
He moves closer and tucks a stray curl back behind my fur hood. The motion forces him to lean down slightly since he's so tall and my heart rate speeds up as I catch a hint of his scent. His finger brushes gently against my cheek and my mouth falls open slightly at the soft touch. It takes all my willpower not to turn into the caress and rub my cheek against his hand.
Oh, what is it about this man? Everything about him calls out to me and makes me want to rub up against him like a kitten. The thought jolts me back to where we are. On a rooftop, in the cold, while my friends party a floor below without me.
"I should get back. The party will be over soon. I feel bad for bailing out."
"Party?" His hand lingers in the air, like he's about to touch me again. My stomach tightens, preparing for the touch, but then suddenly, he smiles.
"Yes, you should go. I have a feeling fate will throw us together again. Soon."
It seems like an odd thing to say but then again this entire conversation has been strange. So I decide not to say anything, instead giving him a small smile before I turn to go. I'm halfway to the door when he calls my name.
"Sasha?"
He pushes away from the wall and comes to stand right in front of me. In the moonlight, the masculine beauty of his face is even more apparent. He doesn't even seem real. Like he's just some illusion my mind has conjured up to torture me.
"Failing at something isn't the same thing as being a failure. That's like saying a person who falls down is the same thing as a person who can't walk. You may not have found where you belong yet but you will. And when you do, you're going to shine in all the ways that really matter."
"Thank you." His words touch me deeply. I know he's just trying to make me feel better but it still gives me a warm feeling that someone believes that I'm more than just my mistakes. That I'm destined for more.
As I ride the elevator down a floor to Finn's level, I think back on our strange conversation. It shouldn't have taken a stranger to make me see my course but when I think about it, I’d been more honest with Gabe in that short conversation than just about anyone else in my life.
And I know nothing about him other than his name.
* * * * *
A few minutes later I reenter the party. There's even more people here now and several of them look drunk already. I must have been out on the roof for longer than I realized. I fold my coat over my arm and drop it on one of the chairs facing the window. Finn and Rissa are dancing, swaying sensually in a way that says they'll be doing a lot more than dancing once they're alone again.
Maybe I should just make my excuses and go home. Even though I was hoping to make some business contacts, I really don't want to ruin Finn and Rissa's party with my dark mood. The only person who'll notice if I'm not here is Emma. I feel guilty leaving before Kay and Eli arrive but it's not like they don't know a lot of the people here. Tank works for Eli so they would have been coming anyway.
I start walking toward Emma, ready to make my excuses, when someone grabs my arm. I turn, startled to see Kay. Eli stands just behind her and nods hello.
"Hey! We just got here. Nice party, huh?" Kay looks around the crowded room.
Eli brushes a quick kiss against Kay's forehead. "Sit down and put your feet up." He whispers it but since we're standing so close I can hear him.
We both watch as he walks across the room and joins Tank, who is standing with a group of men I don't know. They clasp hands and then a few seconds later masculine laughter rings out.
I won't meet his eyes. It feels strangely intimate, talking to him like this but I have to remind myself that he's a stranger. He's beautiful and very easy to talk to but he's still someone that I don't know well.
"It's nothing."
He makes a soft sound of disagreement. "Come on. What have you got to lose telling the truth? You don't know me and I don't know you. You can finally say all the things you really want to say but can't most of the time. All day long we censor ourselves, tone things down or edit out the unpalatable bits of life and sometimes I wonder if we're losing the ability to be honest. Everyone is so afraid of causing offense that we've ceased saying anything that really matters."
His speech feels almost like it's aimed at me. Isn't that what I do all the time? I'm constantly making decisions about what I should talk about or not talk about. There are so many things that I can't say to my parents, my sisters or even my friends because they just don't get where I'm coming from and I'd rather say nothing than argue.
"That's easy for you to say, Mr. Perfect. You've probably never failed at anything. Whereas I seem to fail at everything. My singing career. Relationships. And today I found out my family is backing out of investing in my new business. Just one more thing to add to the failure pile. I should have just stayed home tonight for a little chocolate therapy. I'm not good company right now."
He turns back to look out over the city and I'm presented again with the perfect line of his profile. The lines of stress around his eyes do nothing to diminish the beauty of his face, only emphasizing it.
"You'd be surprised by the things I've failed at. The people I've let down. I'm talking about the kind of stuff that usually results in jail time. I wasn't a very good person for a long time. But I'm trying to change."
He moves closer and tucks a stray curl back behind my fur hood. The motion forces him to lean down slightly since he's so tall and my heart rate speeds up as I catch a hint of his scent. His finger brushes gently against my cheek and my mouth falls open slightly at the soft touch. It takes all my willpower not to turn into the caress and rub my cheek against his hand.
Oh, what is it about this man? Everything about him calls out to me and makes me want to rub up against him like a kitten. The thought jolts me back to where we are. On a rooftop, in the cold, while my friends party a floor below without me.
"I should get back. The party will be over soon. I feel bad for bailing out."
"Party?" His hand lingers in the air, like he's about to touch me again. My stomach tightens, preparing for the touch, but then suddenly, he smiles.
"Yes, you should go. I have a feeling fate will throw us together again. Soon."
It seems like an odd thing to say but then again this entire conversation has been strange. So I decide not to say anything, instead giving him a small smile before I turn to go. I'm halfway to the door when he calls my name.
"Sasha?"
He pushes away from the wall and comes to stand right in front of me. In the moonlight, the masculine beauty of his face is even more apparent. He doesn't even seem real. Like he's just some illusion my mind has conjured up to torture me.
"Failing at something isn't the same thing as being a failure. That's like saying a person who falls down is the same thing as a person who can't walk. You may not have found where you belong yet but you will. And when you do, you're going to shine in all the ways that really matter."
"Thank you." His words touch me deeply. I know he's just trying to make me feel better but it still gives me a warm feeling that someone believes that I'm more than just my mistakes. That I'm destined for more.
As I ride the elevator down a floor to Finn's level, I think back on our strange conversation. It shouldn't have taken a stranger to make me see my course but when I think about it, I’d been more honest with Gabe in that short conversation than just about anyone else in my life.
And I know nothing about him other than his name.
* * * * *
A few minutes later I reenter the party. There's even more people here now and several of them look drunk already. I must have been out on the roof for longer than I realized. I fold my coat over my arm and drop it on one of the chairs facing the window. Finn and Rissa are dancing, swaying sensually in a way that says they'll be doing a lot more than dancing once they're alone again.
Maybe I should just make my excuses and go home. Even though I was hoping to make some business contacts, I really don't want to ruin Finn and Rissa's party with my dark mood. The only person who'll notice if I'm not here is Emma. I feel guilty leaving before Kay and Eli arrive but it's not like they don't know a lot of the people here. Tank works for Eli so they would have been coming anyway.
I start walking toward Emma, ready to make my excuses, when someone grabs my arm. I turn, startled to see Kay. Eli stands just behind her and nods hello.
"Hey! We just got here. Nice party, huh?" Kay looks around the crowded room.
Eli brushes a quick kiss against Kay's forehead. "Sit down and put your feet up." He whispers it but since we're standing so close I can hear him.
We both watch as he walks across the room and joins Tank, who is standing with a group of men I don't know. They clasp hands and then a few seconds later masculine laughter rings out.
