Getting Hotter
Page 66
“I also have this thing…about disappointing people, I guess.” His voice was so thick and gravelly he sounded like he’d just smoked thirty cigarettes in a row. “I don’t like letting people down. I’ve disappointed a lot of people, especially my mom, and a part of me shuts down whenever I get too close to someone because I know that in the end, I’ll end up disappointing them.”
Her heart squeezed painfully. The ravaged look in his gray eyes stole her breath, made her reach for his hand and grip it tightly.
“Hey, I’m sure that’s not true,” she murmured. “And whatever you think you did, you could never let Missy down. That woman adores you.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. “I guess.” He didn’t sound too convinced of that. “So yeah, those are just my bullshit insecurities. But see, with you, I don’t shut down. With you, I always feel like I’m stripped bare. I hate it, but at the same time, I’m okay with it. I want you to know me. I want you to be with me.”
Her breath caught. “Seth…” She trailed off. Didn’t know how to finish, how to formulate a response.
“I don’t like seeing you walk out the door right after we sleep together. I miss everything we were doing last month. Eating breakfast, washing dishes, cuddling in bed. I miss it and I want it back. So I’m making you a promise, right here and now—give me a chance, and I swear I’ll make an effort. I’ll be nicer to the rugr—to Jason and Sophie. I’ll be patient, I’ll be attentive and I’ll be accepting of the fact that if I’m going to be a part of your life, then I need to be a part of theirs.”
He finished with the most endearing little shrug she’d ever seen.
Miranda was at a total loss for words. If someone had told her Seth would be reciting a speech like that, vowing to accept her children, she would’ve laughed them right out of San Diego. But here he was, nothing but honesty shining in those sexy gray eyes. He meant it. He actually meant every word he said.
But meaning something, and following through on it, were two very different things.
“So what do you say?” he asked roughly.
“I…don’t know what to say.”
“Let me prove that I’m serious, Miranda.” Determination streaked across his face. “I can come over tomorrow when you’re done at the studio. We’ll have dinner with the kids, hang out at your place, maybe play a board game or something?”
“That sounds…” Nice, she almost said, until she remembered that it wasn’t possible. “Wait, I can’t tomorrow. Kim’s coming over to babysit while I have dinner with the father of Elsa’s student.”
“Since when do you have dinner with a student’s parents?”
“I don’t usually, but he insisted.”
Seth narrowed his eyes. “This dude…he’s the one who suggested dinner?”
“Yeah.” She shot him a questioning look. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“Nope.” His lips tightened. “But you are aware that this is a date, right?”
Surprise jolted through her. “No, it’s not. We’re simply meeting to discuss his daughter’s progress.”
Seth looked unconvinced. “Didn’t you say she’s Elsa’s student?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then shouldn’t he be meeting with Elsa?”
“Yes, but—”
Seth smirked. “But what? Let me guess, he refuses to discuss this with anyone but you. You, the smoking-hot, highly desirable former showgirl who runs the school.”
She couldn’t help but gape at him. “Are you suggesting he wants in my pants?”
“It isn’t a suggestion, babe. It’s a stone-cold fact.”
“Oh come on, Seth. That’s just silly. I’m not going on a date with this man.”
“Does he know that?”
There was no mistaking the hard note in his voice, or the cloud of jealousy that turned his eyes from gray to turbulent silver. Was that it? Was he jealous? The notion was pretty damn gratifying—it was so rare to see Seth get rattled about anything. But it was also annoying as hell, because tomorrow’s dinner with Eric Porter was not a date.
“Yes, he knows it,” she replied firmly. “We’re seeing each other in a professional capacity.”
Seth’s jaw was tense and inflexible. “It’s a date, Miranda.”
“Jeez! Stop saying that.” Yet even in her annoyance, she found herself laughing.
“Fine, I’ll stop—if you say yes to that other thing we were talking about.”
Her laughter faded. “Say yes to dating you, you mean.”
“Yup.”
“Seth…I don’t know.” When she glimpsed the disappointment in his eyes, she released a sigh. “This isn’t the kind of decision I can make without giving it some serious thought. I have to consider how dating you will affect my children, how it will affect the life I’m trying to build for them. I know you say you’ll make an effort, but what if you do and you discover that you actually just hate children? I don’t want Sophie and Jason getting attached to you, only for you to disappear from their lives.”
“I understand. I really do.” He hesitated. “What if we start with something small? A way for me to dip my toes in the water, for lack of a better way to phrase it.”
Her heart squeezed painfully. The ravaged look in his gray eyes stole her breath, made her reach for his hand and grip it tightly.
“Hey, I’m sure that’s not true,” she murmured. “And whatever you think you did, you could never let Missy down. That woman adores you.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. “I guess.” He didn’t sound too convinced of that. “So yeah, those are just my bullshit insecurities. But see, with you, I don’t shut down. With you, I always feel like I’m stripped bare. I hate it, but at the same time, I’m okay with it. I want you to know me. I want you to be with me.”
Her breath caught. “Seth…” She trailed off. Didn’t know how to finish, how to formulate a response.
“I don’t like seeing you walk out the door right after we sleep together. I miss everything we were doing last month. Eating breakfast, washing dishes, cuddling in bed. I miss it and I want it back. So I’m making you a promise, right here and now—give me a chance, and I swear I’ll make an effort. I’ll be nicer to the rugr—to Jason and Sophie. I’ll be patient, I’ll be attentive and I’ll be accepting of the fact that if I’m going to be a part of your life, then I need to be a part of theirs.”
He finished with the most endearing little shrug she’d ever seen.
Miranda was at a total loss for words. If someone had told her Seth would be reciting a speech like that, vowing to accept her children, she would’ve laughed them right out of San Diego. But here he was, nothing but honesty shining in those sexy gray eyes. He meant it. He actually meant every word he said.
But meaning something, and following through on it, were two very different things.
“So what do you say?” he asked roughly.
“I…don’t know what to say.”
“Let me prove that I’m serious, Miranda.” Determination streaked across his face. “I can come over tomorrow when you’re done at the studio. We’ll have dinner with the kids, hang out at your place, maybe play a board game or something?”
“That sounds…” Nice, she almost said, until she remembered that it wasn’t possible. “Wait, I can’t tomorrow. Kim’s coming over to babysit while I have dinner with the father of Elsa’s student.”
“Since when do you have dinner with a student’s parents?”
“I don’t usually, but he insisted.”
Seth narrowed his eyes. “This dude…he’s the one who suggested dinner?”
“Yeah.” She shot him a questioning look. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“Nope.” His lips tightened. “But you are aware that this is a date, right?”
Surprise jolted through her. “No, it’s not. We’re simply meeting to discuss his daughter’s progress.”
Seth looked unconvinced. “Didn’t you say she’s Elsa’s student?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then shouldn’t he be meeting with Elsa?”
“Yes, but—”
Seth smirked. “But what? Let me guess, he refuses to discuss this with anyone but you. You, the smoking-hot, highly desirable former showgirl who runs the school.”
She couldn’t help but gape at him. “Are you suggesting he wants in my pants?”
“It isn’t a suggestion, babe. It’s a stone-cold fact.”
“Oh come on, Seth. That’s just silly. I’m not going on a date with this man.”
“Does he know that?”
There was no mistaking the hard note in his voice, or the cloud of jealousy that turned his eyes from gray to turbulent silver. Was that it? Was he jealous? The notion was pretty damn gratifying—it was so rare to see Seth get rattled about anything. But it was also annoying as hell, because tomorrow’s dinner with Eric Porter was not a date.
“Yes, he knows it,” she replied firmly. “We’re seeing each other in a professional capacity.”
Seth’s jaw was tense and inflexible. “It’s a date, Miranda.”
“Jeez! Stop saying that.” Yet even in her annoyance, she found herself laughing.
“Fine, I’ll stop—if you say yes to that other thing we were talking about.”
Her laughter faded. “Say yes to dating you, you mean.”
“Yup.”
“Seth…I don’t know.” When she glimpsed the disappointment in his eyes, she released a sigh. “This isn’t the kind of decision I can make without giving it some serious thought. I have to consider how dating you will affect my children, how it will affect the life I’m trying to build for them. I know you say you’ll make an effort, but what if you do and you discover that you actually just hate children? I don’t want Sophie and Jason getting attached to you, only for you to disappear from their lives.”
“I understand. I really do.” He hesitated. “What if we start with something small? A way for me to dip my toes in the water, for lack of a better way to phrase it.”
