Golden Fool

Page 68

The Prince’s eyes were locked on to my face. I could not meet his earnest gaze. I stared past him, out the tall windows and over the gray and billowing sea. Then I steeled myself and trod the precipice path between deadly truth and cowardly falsehood. “I was one of Galen’s students. Because of my illegitimate birth, he despised me. I learned what I could from him, but he was a cruel and unjust master to me, driving me away from the knowledge he did not wish to share with me. Under his brutal tutelage, I learned the basics of Skilling, but no more than that. I could not predictably master my talent, and so I failed. He sent me away with the other students who did not meet his standards.
“I continued to work as a servant here in the keep. When your father labored most heavily here, he had his meals brought up to him; that was my task. And it was here that we discovered, most providentially, that even though I could not Skill on my own, he could draw Skill strength from me. And later, in the brief times he was able to give me, he taught me what he could of Skilling.”
I turned to face Dutiful and waited. His dark eyes probed mine. “When he left on his quest, did you go with him?”
I shook my head and answered truthfully. “No. I was young and he forbade it.”
“And you didn’t try to follow him later?” He was incredulous, his imagination fired with what he was sure he would himself have done in my place.
It was hard to say the next words. “No one knew where he had gone, or by what paths.” I held my breath, hoping that would still his questions. I didn’t want to lie to him.
He turned away from me and looked out over the sea. He was disappointed in me. “I wonder how different things might have been if you had gone with him.”
I had often told myself that if I had, Queen Kettricken would never have survived Regal’s reign at Buckkeep. But I said, “I’ve often pondered that question myself, my prince. But there is no knowing what might have happened. I might have helped him, but looking back on those days, I think it just as likely I would have been a hindrance to him. I was very young, quick-tempered, and impetuous.” I took a breath and steered the conversation as I wished it to go. “I tell you these things to be sure you understand well that I am no Skillmaster. I have not studied all those scrolls . . . I have read only a few of them. So. In a sense we are both students here. I will do my best to educate myself from the scrolls, even as I teach you the basics of what I know. It is a hazardous path that we will tread together. Do you understand this?”
“I understand. And of the Wit?”
I had not wanted to discuss that today. “Well. I came to my Wit magic much as you did yours, stumbling into it by chance when I bonded with a puppy. I was a man grown before I met anyone who tried to put my random knowledge of my magic into a coherent framework. Again, time was my enemy. I learned much from him, but not all there was to know . . . far short of that, to be truthful. So, again, I will teach you what I know. But you will be learning from a flawed instructor.”
“Your confidence is so inspiring,” Dutiful muttered darkly. Then, a moment later, he laughed. “A fine pair we shall make, stumbling along together. Where do we begin?”
“I am afraid, my prince, that we shall have to begin by first moving backward. You must be untaught some of what you have learned by yourself. Are you aware that when you attempt to Skill, you are mingling the Wit with that magic?”
He stared at me blankly.
After a moment of discouragement, I said briskly, “Well. Our first step will be to untangle your magics from one another.” As if I knew how. I was not even certain that my own magics operated independently of one another. I shoved the thought aside. “I’d like to proceed with teaching you the basics of Skilling. We’ll set aside the Wit for now, to avoid confusion.”
“Have you ever known any others like us?”
He had lost me again. “Like us how?”
“With both the Wit and the Skill.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. Truth or lie. Truth. “I think I once met one, but I did not recognize him as such at the time. I don’t think he even knew what he was doing. At the time, I thought he was just very strong in the Wit. Since then, I’ve sometimes wondered at how well he seemed to know what passed between my wolf and me. I suspect that he had both magics, but thought them the same thing, and thus used them together.”
“Who was he?”
I should never have begun to answer his questions. “I told you, it was a long time ago. He was a man who tried to help me learn the Wit. Now. Let’s focus on why we are here today.”