Golden Trail
Page 176
Then he whispered, “What?”
“She was thirty-nine when she died. That’s next year for me, Layne.”
“Rocky –”
“That’s what I’m going to get, for not helping her. I’m going to die when she died. I know, I’ve always known, I’ll never make it. I’ll never make it. I knew what it would feel like to lose you and I knew you’d feel the same way if you lost me. Like Dad. You’d be like Dad. If we had the chance to have a life, I knew you’d never move on.” Her hand dropped and she wrapped both arms around her legs but her eyes didn’t leave his, they were burning into him and his chest was burning, his throat and he could do nothing but hold her eyes. “I left you to give you a life, baby,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, the tears hitting her eyes, sliding down, silent. “I wanted you to have a life.”
“That’s why you left me?” he asked quietly.
She nodded. “I didn’t want you to hurt. I knew how bad it hurt. I felt it. Saw it in Merry. Saw it in Dad. I didn’t want you to hurt.”
“Rocky, come to me.”
“We can’t have a baby girl, she won’t have a Momma,” Rocky whispered.
Layne’s voice was rough when he begged, “Please, baby, come to me.”
“I know what it’s like to lose your Momma.”
“Baby, please.”
“I can’t sit at the table with the family, Layne. I let my family die, left her all alone to die, crouched like a coward in the dark and listened to her scream while I let her die.”
“You didn’t let her die, honey, Fisher killed her.”
“I can’t sit at the table when I let my family die.”
Layne was done.
“I’m comin’ to you, Roc.”
She shook her head as the tears slid down her face, off her jaw to hit her sweater.
“Right now, baby, I’m coming to you.”
She kept shaking her head as he moved to her and he braced for a fight but when he got to her, she surged into him, pressing in, deep and tight. He twisted and sat in the corner, she crawled into his lap, curling into a ball, her arms attached around his neck like she was never going to let him go and the tears came. Not tears. Great, wracking, body rocking sobs.
He held her close and looked up to see Devin, Tripp and Jasper had moved in.
“Dave’s gonna get here and he’ll have called Merry. They don’t approach. I don’t care what you do but I don’t want them up here until Doc sees to her.”
“Gotcha, son,” Devin whispered.
“Go, close the door,” Layne ordered.
Devin nodded, he turned but Jasper and Tripp didn’t move, their eyes were glued to their father.
“Go,” Layne whispered.
Dev’s arms came out and he hooked both Layne’s boys, gently turning them and guiding them away.
Rocky shoved her face deeper into his neck, Layne dropped his head and spoke in her ear.
“We’re gonna work this out of you, baby.”
She shook her head.
“Swear, Roc, swear, I’m gonna take care of you. Yeah?”
She didn’t answer, just pressed deeper.
Layne’s arms got tight. “Love you, Raquel.”
Another sob tore up her throat but, thank f**k, she held on.
* * * * *
Doc slid Rocky’s hair off her neck then his eyes came to Layne.
“You can let her go, son, she’s sleeping,” Doc whispered.
“Get Ma,” Layne ordered.
Doc looked into his eyes, took a breath in his nose and nodded. Then he walked out of the room.
Layne was in bed, shoulders to the headboard, Rocky curled asleep on top of him. Doc had administered the injection while she was still sobbing, Christ, so many tears. He didn’t know a body had that many tears. She didn’t struggle. She took the shot and slowly faded to quiet in his arms.
Now it was now and he knew both Dave and Merry were downstairs. He knew too that they had lost a wife, a mother.
And he didn’t f**king care.
Vera slid into the room and her eyes went directly to him.
“Get in bed, Ma.”
She nodded and hurried to Rocky’s side of the bed. She sat like Layne was sitting and he turned Rocky into her outstretched arms. When Rocky’s head settled on his mother’s chest and Vera had pulled Rocky’s arm around her belly, Layne slid out of bed.
“Don’t let her go,” Layne whispered.
“I won’t, honey,” Vera whispered back.
Layne walked to the door, closed it and he should have taken a breath. He should have taken three.
He didn’t.
He stalked down the stairs.
Everyone was in the kitchen, Dev, Tripp, Jas, Doc, Dave and Merry.
Dave was sitting at the island. Merry was standing beside it.
“How is –?” Dave started but stopped when Layne stalked straight to Merry.
Merry’s face was ravaged with worry but that didn’t penetrate the fury spiraling around Layne. What it did was bring Merry’s guard down so he didn’t move fast enough which meant Layne got close, wrapped his hand tight around Merry’s throat and he kept walking, pushing Merry back.
“Dad!” Tripp shouted.
Merry’s hands came up to Layne’s forearm as Layne squeezed.
“Tanner!” Dave yelled.
“Boy!” Devin yelled too but Layne shoved Merry against the wall, pinned him there with his body and got in his face, still squeezing.
“Twenty-four years, you ass**le, twenty-four years, you left that festering in her head.”
“Boy, stand down,” Devin ordered, his hand on Layne’s back but Layne twitched his body, throwing off Devin’s hand and he squeezed Merry’s throat harder.
“You knew,” Layne clipped as Merry choked. “You knew that’s why she left me. You knew that was torturing her. And you left her to that agony.”
“Tanner, son, please,” Dave was close and Layne turned to him, his other arm shooting up, he pointed a finger right in Dave’s face.
“You’re not right here, old man, because you’re an old man. You deserve worse,” he growled and Dave’s pale face grew paler.
“Brother,” Merry choked.
Layne jerked his head around and got in Merry’s face again. “I’m not your brother,” he bit out.
Merry’s eyes narrowed and he yanked on Layne’s forearm. “You don’t get it.”
“I f**kin’ well do, it leaked straight from her eyes into my skin, you ass**le.”
“She was thirty-nine when she died. That’s next year for me, Layne.”
“Rocky –”
“That’s what I’m going to get, for not helping her. I’m going to die when she died. I know, I’ve always known, I’ll never make it. I’ll never make it. I knew what it would feel like to lose you and I knew you’d feel the same way if you lost me. Like Dad. You’d be like Dad. If we had the chance to have a life, I knew you’d never move on.” Her hand dropped and she wrapped both arms around her legs but her eyes didn’t leave his, they were burning into him and his chest was burning, his throat and he could do nothing but hold her eyes. “I left you to give you a life, baby,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, the tears hitting her eyes, sliding down, silent. “I wanted you to have a life.”
“That’s why you left me?” he asked quietly.
She nodded. “I didn’t want you to hurt. I knew how bad it hurt. I felt it. Saw it in Merry. Saw it in Dad. I didn’t want you to hurt.”
“Rocky, come to me.”
“We can’t have a baby girl, she won’t have a Momma,” Rocky whispered.
Layne’s voice was rough when he begged, “Please, baby, come to me.”
“I know what it’s like to lose your Momma.”
“Baby, please.”
“I can’t sit at the table with the family, Layne. I let my family die, left her all alone to die, crouched like a coward in the dark and listened to her scream while I let her die.”
“You didn’t let her die, honey, Fisher killed her.”
“I can’t sit at the table when I let my family die.”
Layne was done.
“I’m comin’ to you, Roc.”
She shook her head as the tears slid down her face, off her jaw to hit her sweater.
“Right now, baby, I’m coming to you.”
She kept shaking her head as he moved to her and he braced for a fight but when he got to her, she surged into him, pressing in, deep and tight. He twisted and sat in the corner, she crawled into his lap, curling into a ball, her arms attached around his neck like she was never going to let him go and the tears came. Not tears. Great, wracking, body rocking sobs.
He held her close and looked up to see Devin, Tripp and Jasper had moved in.
“Dave’s gonna get here and he’ll have called Merry. They don’t approach. I don’t care what you do but I don’t want them up here until Doc sees to her.”
“Gotcha, son,” Devin whispered.
“Go, close the door,” Layne ordered.
Devin nodded, he turned but Jasper and Tripp didn’t move, their eyes were glued to their father.
“Go,” Layne whispered.
Dev’s arms came out and he hooked both Layne’s boys, gently turning them and guiding them away.
Rocky shoved her face deeper into his neck, Layne dropped his head and spoke in her ear.
“We’re gonna work this out of you, baby.”
She shook her head.
“Swear, Roc, swear, I’m gonna take care of you. Yeah?”
She didn’t answer, just pressed deeper.
Layne’s arms got tight. “Love you, Raquel.”
Another sob tore up her throat but, thank f**k, she held on.
* * * * *
Doc slid Rocky’s hair off her neck then his eyes came to Layne.
“You can let her go, son, she’s sleeping,” Doc whispered.
“Get Ma,” Layne ordered.
Doc looked into his eyes, took a breath in his nose and nodded. Then he walked out of the room.
Layne was in bed, shoulders to the headboard, Rocky curled asleep on top of him. Doc had administered the injection while she was still sobbing, Christ, so many tears. He didn’t know a body had that many tears. She didn’t struggle. She took the shot and slowly faded to quiet in his arms.
Now it was now and he knew both Dave and Merry were downstairs. He knew too that they had lost a wife, a mother.
And he didn’t f**king care.
Vera slid into the room and her eyes went directly to him.
“Get in bed, Ma.”
She nodded and hurried to Rocky’s side of the bed. She sat like Layne was sitting and he turned Rocky into her outstretched arms. When Rocky’s head settled on his mother’s chest and Vera had pulled Rocky’s arm around her belly, Layne slid out of bed.
“Don’t let her go,” Layne whispered.
“I won’t, honey,” Vera whispered back.
Layne walked to the door, closed it and he should have taken a breath. He should have taken three.
He didn’t.
He stalked down the stairs.
Everyone was in the kitchen, Dev, Tripp, Jas, Doc, Dave and Merry.
Dave was sitting at the island. Merry was standing beside it.
“How is –?” Dave started but stopped when Layne stalked straight to Merry.
Merry’s face was ravaged with worry but that didn’t penetrate the fury spiraling around Layne. What it did was bring Merry’s guard down so he didn’t move fast enough which meant Layne got close, wrapped his hand tight around Merry’s throat and he kept walking, pushing Merry back.
“Dad!” Tripp shouted.
Merry’s hands came up to Layne’s forearm as Layne squeezed.
“Tanner!” Dave yelled.
“Boy!” Devin yelled too but Layne shoved Merry against the wall, pinned him there with his body and got in his face, still squeezing.
“Twenty-four years, you ass**le, twenty-four years, you left that festering in her head.”
“Boy, stand down,” Devin ordered, his hand on Layne’s back but Layne twitched his body, throwing off Devin’s hand and he squeezed Merry’s throat harder.
“You knew,” Layne clipped as Merry choked. “You knew that’s why she left me. You knew that was torturing her. And you left her to that agony.”
“Tanner, son, please,” Dave was close and Layne turned to him, his other arm shooting up, he pointed a finger right in Dave’s face.
“You’re not right here, old man, because you’re an old man. You deserve worse,” he growled and Dave’s pale face grew paler.
“Brother,” Merry choked.
Layne jerked his head around and got in Merry’s face again. “I’m not your brother,” he bit out.
Merry’s eyes narrowed and he yanked on Layne’s forearm. “You don’t get it.”
“I f**kin’ well do, it leaked straight from her eyes into my skin, you ass**le.”
