Golden Trail
Page 179
Layne looked back to Devin who was now staring at them, still holding the bottle by its neck.
“Also told you she’s worth the effort.”
“Already knew that, old man.”
“Yeah, well, know you know it more.” His eyes slid to Jas. “Seen a lot of things, done a lot of things, wounds to the flesh hurt but they heal fast. Wounds to the soul never go away. It’s how we cope with a pain that never dies that makes us the people we are. Daily, people demonstrate acts of courage just so they can get through to the night. That woman upstairs smiles and laughs and cooks and teaches and no one knew the pain she carried in her soul. In other words, there are warriors and then there are warriors. In your Dad’s bed lies a warrior. Learn from her, boy.”
“Right,” Jasper whispered.
“Your Dad’s gone, I’m gone, you or your brother have her back,” Devin ordered.
“Right,” Jasper repeated on another whisper.
“Until she’s freed, she can turn at any time. One of us needs to catch her should she fall,” Devin went on.
“Right,” Jasper whispered again.
“Brief your brother,” Devin demanded.
“Right,” Jasper whispered yet again.
“Now,” Devin announced, “I’m havin’ a stoagie and gettin’ drunk.” His eyes hit Layne. “And that dog’s been quarantined outside throughout this situation and I’m not lettin’ her in yet so, goes without sayin’, me outside with whisky and a stoagie and your f**kin’ dog, tells you what you mean to me, boy.”
Then he strode to the door, opened it, Blondie attacked him on his first step on the cement patio and he closed the door.
Layne squeezed Jasper’s shoulder and stepped away.
“You good?” Layne asked.
“I’m good,” Jasper answered.
“Ignore Dev, he can be dramatic.”
“Seems pretty smart to me.”
Layne looked into Jasper’s eyes.
Then he asked, “Sure you’re good?”
“Yeah, Dad.”
“I was shot, awhile ago, Bud and –”
“I’m good, Dad.”
“We haven’t talked about that, I wanted to give you boys time.”
“You don’t need to give us time.”
“Jas –”
“Dad, we know what you do for a living and we know why. It’s jacked up, what happened to Roc’s Mom because she was a Mom, not someone like you. It sucked, you gettin’ shot, and I can’t say that Tripp and me weren’t scared, we were. But you’re here, we’re tight so it’s all good.”
“You ever wanna talk,” Layne said quietly.
Jasper grinned at him. “Yeah, but, I need to talk, I’ll pick a time when Rocky’s not sedated in your bedroom.”
Layne grinned back. “Good call,” he muttered then lifted the bottle in his hand. “You wanna beer?”
Jasper’s brows shot up. “Seriously?”
“Fuck no,” Layne replied.
Jasper chuckled.
Layne moved into his son, wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close, let him go, turned and walked up the stairs to Rocky.
* * * * *
Layne knew she was awake ten minutes before she stirred and lifted her head from his chest.
Her neck twisted and her eyes hit his.
“Faker,” he whispered.
She blinked slowly.
Then she whispered back, “What?”
“Sweetcheeks, you’ve been fakin’ sleep for ten minutes.”
“Oh.” She was still whispering and now pushing away.
So Layne’s arm, already around her, tightened and he pulled her up his chest.
She put slight pressure on him, not too much but avoided his eyes.
“Baby, look at me,” Layne ordered gently and her eyes came to his. “How you feelin’?”
“Weird,” she answered.
“You remember?”
She pressed her lips together. Then she nodded.
“All of it?”
“What day is today?” she asked.
“Saturday,” he answered.
“Then yes. All of it.”
“How many days you lose to this shit?”
“Well, I’ve been lying there thinking about it and I’m guessing… two.”
“That’s my guess too,” Layne told her. “So it never happened before?”
“Not that I know of.”
“But you might not remember?”
“I’m thinking… no.”
“Doc gave me some names and numbers of people you can call. We’ll see it never happens again.”
She stopped pressing against him and her weight hit his side.
Then she whispered, “Tripp and Jas saw –”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I think –”
“Rocky, honey, you know they’re good kids. This is life. I can’t shield them from life forever. They’ve gotta learn how to deal. What happened was real. It needed to happen. You needed to get that shit out. You did it surrounded by people who care a lot about you. When that shit happens, that’s the best place to be.”
“It’s embarrassing,” she whispered.
“Baby,” he whispered back, pulling her closer and wrapping his other arm around her. “Your mother died while you listened. That marked you. There is nothing embarrassing about that. You loved her, you lost her and it marked you. It’s not embarrassing because there’s beauty in that.”
“Beauty?” she breathed.
“You loved her.”
Her eyes grew bright with tears and she nodded.
“That’s beautiful.”
She dropped her head, planted her face in his chest and his hand came up and slid over her hair.
“You go to her grave,” Layne whispered.
“I miss her,” Rocky whispered back.
“She was a good Mom,” Layne stated.
“The best.” She lifted her head and looked at him. “You would have liked her. She was funny.”
“I remember her. You look like her.”
She nodded. Then she sucked in breath.
“It was talking about having babies,” she whispered. “After you said that, I started to get these thoughts.”
Layne’s arms gave her a squeeze. “I’m sorry, honey.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be. You can’t guard against everything you say.”
“No.”
“Also told you she’s worth the effort.”
“Already knew that, old man.”
“Yeah, well, know you know it more.” His eyes slid to Jas. “Seen a lot of things, done a lot of things, wounds to the flesh hurt but they heal fast. Wounds to the soul never go away. It’s how we cope with a pain that never dies that makes us the people we are. Daily, people demonstrate acts of courage just so they can get through to the night. That woman upstairs smiles and laughs and cooks and teaches and no one knew the pain she carried in her soul. In other words, there are warriors and then there are warriors. In your Dad’s bed lies a warrior. Learn from her, boy.”
“Right,” Jasper whispered.
“Your Dad’s gone, I’m gone, you or your brother have her back,” Devin ordered.
“Right,” Jasper repeated on another whisper.
“Until she’s freed, she can turn at any time. One of us needs to catch her should she fall,” Devin went on.
“Right,” Jasper whispered again.
“Brief your brother,” Devin demanded.
“Right,” Jasper whispered yet again.
“Now,” Devin announced, “I’m havin’ a stoagie and gettin’ drunk.” His eyes hit Layne. “And that dog’s been quarantined outside throughout this situation and I’m not lettin’ her in yet so, goes without sayin’, me outside with whisky and a stoagie and your f**kin’ dog, tells you what you mean to me, boy.”
Then he strode to the door, opened it, Blondie attacked him on his first step on the cement patio and he closed the door.
Layne squeezed Jasper’s shoulder and stepped away.
“You good?” Layne asked.
“I’m good,” Jasper answered.
“Ignore Dev, he can be dramatic.”
“Seems pretty smart to me.”
Layne looked into Jasper’s eyes.
Then he asked, “Sure you’re good?”
“Yeah, Dad.”
“I was shot, awhile ago, Bud and –”
“I’m good, Dad.”
“We haven’t talked about that, I wanted to give you boys time.”
“You don’t need to give us time.”
“Jas –”
“Dad, we know what you do for a living and we know why. It’s jacked up, what happened to Roc’s Mom because she was a Mom, not someone like you. It sucked, you gettin’ shot, and I can’t say that Tripp and me weren’t scared, we were. But you’re here, we’re tight so it’s all good.”
“You ever wanna talk,” Layne said quietly.
Jasper grinned at him. “Yeah, but, I need to talk, I’ll pick a time when Rocky’s not sedated in your bedroom.”
Layne grinned back. “Good call,” he muttered then lifted the bottle in his hand. “You wanna beer?”
Jasper’s brows shot up. “Seriously?”
“Fuck no,” Layne replied.
Jasper chuckled.
Layne moved into his son, wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close, let him go, turned and walked up the stairs to Rocky.
* * * * *
Layne knew she was awake ten minutes before she stirred and lifted her head from his chest.
Her neck twisted and her eyes hit his.
“Faker,” he whispered.
She blinked slowly.
Then she whispered back, “What?”
“Sweetcheeks, you’ve been fakin’ sleep for ten minutes.”
“Oh.” She was still whispering and now pushing away.
So Layne’s arm, already around her, tightened and he pulled her up his chest.
She put slight pressure on him, not too much but avoided his eyes.
“Baby, look at me,” Layne ordered gently and her eyes came to his. “How you feelin’?”
“Weird,” she answered.
“You remember?”
She pressed her lips together. Then she nodded.
“All of it?”
“What day is today?” she asked.
“Saturday,” he answered.
“Then yes. All of it.”
“How many days you lose to this shit?”
“Well, I’ve been lying there thinking about it and I’m guessing… two.”
“That’s my guess too,” Layne told her. “So it never happened before?”
“Not that I know of.”
“But you might not remember?”
“I’m thinking… no.”
“Doc gave me some names and numbers of people you can call. We’ll see it never happens again.”
She stopped pressing against him and her weight hit his side.
Then she whispered, “Tripp and Jas saw –”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I think –”
“Rocky, honey, you know they’re good kids. This is life. I can’t shield them from life forever. They’ve gotta learn how to deal. What happened was real. It needed to happen. You needed to get that shit out. You did it surrounded by people who care a lot about you. When that shit happens, that’s the best place to be.”
“It’s embarrassing,” she whispered.
“Baby,” he whispered back, pulling her closer and wrapping his other arm around her. “Your mother died while you listened. That marked you. There is nothing embarrassing about that. You loved her, you lost her and it marked you. It’s not embarrassing because there’s beauty in that.”
“Beauty?” she breathed.
“You loved her.”
Her eyes grew bright with tears and she nodded.
“That’s beautiful.”
She dropped her head, planted her face in his chest and his hand came up and slid over her hair.
“You go to her grave,” Layne whispered.
“I miss her,” Rocky whispered back.
“She was a good Mom,” Layne stated.
“The best.” She lifted her head and looked at him. “You would have liked her. She was funny.”
“I remember her. You look like her.”
She nodded. Then she sucked in breath.
“It was talking about having babies,” she whispered. “After you said that, I started to get these thoughts.”
Layne’s arms gave her a squeeze. “I’m sorry, honey.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be. You can’t guard against everything you say.”
“No.”
