Golden Trail
Page 97
Apparently they couldn’t, not yet.
“You were drunk when you slept with her?”
“Yeah.”
She stared up at him and took in a deep breath then another one until her eyes cleared and she asked, “Why do men do that?”
“Baby, I did it and I don’t even know why I did it.”
She studied his face and then nodded and he felt her body ease under his, something he knew wouldn’t last long because he had to ask so he was going to ask.
“Why’d you leave me?”
Her eyes held his, Layne held his breath and she surprised the f**k out of him when she answered.
“I did it,” she stopped and licked her lips, “and I don’t know why I did it.”
He closed his eyes and turned his head away because that was pure and complete bullshit. Such bullshit, when he was being straight with her, that it pissed him right, the f**k, off. So he started to knife away but stopped when he felt her fingers curl around his neck.
His eyes went back to her.
“You know, right after I left you, two days I stayed in my room at Dad’s house and I don’t remember a second. I don’t remember eating or sleeping or going to the bathroom. I just remember getting up on the third day, all my stuff from our house in boxes and suitcases jammed into my room, and I walked down and Dad was eating cereal. He looked at me and said, ‘Want me to take you back to Tanner?’ and I said, ‘Never,’ and that was it. I don’t know why. I know…” She closed her eyes and Layne held his breath again until she opened them and went on in a whisper. “I know it hurt. I know every day I struggled with it. I know every day I wondered why I was struggling. I know how it felt when you’d call, come over, I’d hear you arguing with Dad or Merry. I know how all of that felt. I remember all of that. I know it didn’t feel good and I knew then that the only way to make it better was to go back to you. I just don’t know why I couldn’t.” The tears came back into her eyes, shimmering for a second before falling and she lifted her head, closed her eyes, pressed her forehead to his and finished. “Until you got shot.” She opened her eyes and, close up, they locked on his. “Eighteen years, every day I struggled against finding a way to connect with you but I couldn’t fight it anymore when you got shot.”
His hand sifted into her hair at the side and he slanted his head and touched his mouth to hers, muttering, “Baby.”
She shook her head and her arms slid around his shoulders, she buried her face in his neck and her body trembled with her tears as she kept talking, her voice rough and thick, difficult to hear and not because her words were hard to make out.
“Every day for eighteen years, Layne, every f**king day. I missed you every day. I’d wake up next to Jarrod and wish it was you, I’d go to sleep next to him and wish it was you.” She pulled her face out of his neck and her eyes hit his but hers were so wet he knew she couldn’t focus on him when she said, “That’s why he said that at the restaurant. He knew. He threw you in my face all the time. We fought about it, God, all the time. Once,” she pulled her hand through her hair then swiped at her cheeks in agitation, “we were making love and he asked me, right in the middle of it, ‘Who do you see, Rocky, do you see me or is Tanner f**king you?’”
Layne had been holding his tongue.
Until then.
Then, he growled, “You are f**kin’ shitting me.”
“No!” she cried and flopped back on the couch, covering her face with her hands. “I don’t blame him.” Her head was shaking side to side. “I don’t blame him.”
“Baby,” Layne’s hands went to her wrists to pull hers away from her face but they moved suddenly, turned to frame his and they held on tight.
“Merry called,” she whispered. “He called me and told me to get to the hospital. He couldn’t go. He was dealing with…” She shook her head. “He told me. He told me you’d been shot. When I got there, Gabrielle was there with the boys. She was so pissed when she saw me. Jasper and Tripp, they were in a fog, they didn’t even know I was there. But Gabrielle, she was pissed. And I didn’t care. I just sat there until the boys left you and I could get into your room and I sat there until you woke up and I knew you were okay. And that was it. I couldn’t fight it anymore, whatever it was and now…” she stared up at him, “now…” her eyeballs went side to side, “well, now I’m here.”
“Now you’re here,” Layne repeated, her eyes came to his and her hands slid from his face and down to rest on his chest.
“Now, I’m here,” she whispered.
“You play me?” Layne asked and he felt pressure at her hands at his chest before they went away, one folding around the other and she rested them on her chest.
“Play you?” She was still whispering.
“Sweetcheeks, leg of lamb?”
Light dawned and Layne watched her face close down but not before he saw the pain knife through her eyes. “No, Layne,” she said softly. “I didn’t play you.”
Then she shifted as if to slide out from under him but he gave her all his weight, pressing her into the couch and he framed her face with his hands.
“You played me,” he murmured, looking into her eyes.
“I didn’t.” She bucked her back to try to throw him off.
“You played me, just didn’t know you were doing it.”
She stilled under him, held his gaze and announced, “I think I’m sleeping at home tonight.”
He grinned. “Oh no you’re f**kin’ not.”
“I am.”
“You’re not.”
“Layne, I am so get off,” she demanded, bucking again.
His thumb slid over her cheek and down to rest on her lips and his face got close. “No, Roc, you’re not gonna go home. You’re gonna go upstairs and you’re gonna get na**d and climb into my bed and then you’re gonna let me do what I want to your body, whatever I want, for as long as I want and, when I make you come, you’re gonna hafta be quiet about it so you don’t wake up Ma and my boys.”
“Get off,” she whispered but there was no fire to it and his grin turned to a smile, he dropped his head and whispered in her ear.
“First I’m gonna suck your tits and finger f**k you ‘til you come. Then I’m gonna go down on you ‘til you come. Then I’m gonna f**k you hard ‘til I come.” He lifted his head and looked at her face, eyes half-mast, mouth soft and she was already breathing heavily. “You’re up to it, you can come when I f**k you too. We’ll see how I do.”
“You were drunk when you slept with her?”
“Yeah.”
She stared up at him and took in a deep breath then another one until her eyes cleared and she asked, “Why do men do that?”
“Baby, I did it and I don’t even know why I did it.”
She studied his face and then nodded and he felt her body ease under his, something he knew wouldn’t last long because he had to ask so he was going to ask.
“Why’d you leave me?”
Her eyes held his, Layne held his breath and she surprised the f**k out of him when she answered.
“I did it,” she stopped and licked her lips, “and I don’t know why I did it.”
He closed his eyes and turned his head away because that was pure and complete bullshit. Such bullshit, when he was being straight with her, that it pissed him right, the f**k, off. So he started to knife away but stopped when he felt her fingers curl around his neck.
His eyes went back to her.
“You know, right after I left you, two days I stayed in my room at Dad’s house and I don’t remember a second. I don’t remember eating or sleeping or going to the bathroom. I just remember getting up on the third day, all my stuff from our house in boxes and suitcases jammed into my room, and I walked down and Dad was eating cereal. He looked at me and said, ‘Want me to take you back to Tanner?’ and I said, ‘Never,’ and that was it. I don’t know why. I know…” She closed her eyes and Layne held his breath again until she opened them and went on in a whisper. “I know it hurt. I know every day I struggled with it. I know every day I wondered why I was struggling. I know how it felt when you’d call, come over, I’d hear you arguing with Dad or Merry. I know how all of that felt. I remember all of that. I know it didn’t feel good and I knew then that the only way to make it better was to go back to you. I just don’t know why I couldn’t.” The tears came back into her eyes, shimmering for a second before falling and she lifted her head, closed her eyes, pressed her forehead to his and finished. “Until you got shot.” She opened her eyes and, close up, they locked on his. “Eighteen years, every day I struggled against finding a way to connect with you but I couldn’t fight it anymore when you got shot.”
His hand sifted into her hair at the side and he slanted his head and touched his mouth to hers, muttering, “Baby.”
She shook her head and her arms slid around his shoulders, she buried her face in his neck and her body trembled with her tears as she kept talking, her voice rough and thick, difficult to hear and not because her words were hard to make out.
“Every day for eighteen years, Layne, every f**king day. I missed you every day. I’d wake up next to Jarrod and wish it was you, I’d go to sleep next to him and wish it was you.” She pulled her face out of his neck and her eyes hit his but hers were so wet he knew she couldn’t focus on him when she said, “That’s why he said that at the restaurant. He knew. He threw you in my face all the time. We fought about it, God, all the time. Once,” she pulled her hand through her hair then swiped at her cheeks in agitation, “we were making love and he asked me, right in the middle of it, ‘Who do you see, Rocky, do you see me or is Tanner f**king you?’”
Layne had been holding his tongue.
Until then.
Then, he growled, “You are f**kin’ shitting me.”
“No!” she cried and flopped back on the couch, covering her face with her hands. “I don’t blame him.” Her head was shaking side to side. “I don’t blame him.”
“Baby,” Layne’s hands went to her wrists to pull hers away from her face but they moved suddenly, turned to frame his and they held on tight.
“Merry called,” she whispered. “He called me and told me to get to the hospital. He couldn’t go. He was dealing with…” She shook her head. “He told me. He told me you’d been shot. When I got there, Gabrielle was there with the boys. She was so pissed when she saw me. Jasper and Tripp, they were in a fog, they didn’t even know I was there. But Gabrielle, she was pissed. And I didn’t care. I just sat there until the boys left you and I could get into your room and I sat there until you woke up and I knew you were okay. And that was it. I couldn’t fight it anymore, whatever it was and now…” she stared up at him, “now…” her eyeballs went side to side, “well, now I’m here.”
“Now you’re here,” Layne repeated, her eyes came to his and her hands slid from his face and down to rest on his chest.
“Now, I’m here,” she whispered.
“You play me?” Layne asked and he felt pressure at her hands at his chest before they went away, one folding around the other and she rested them on her chest.
“Play you?” She was still whispering.
“Sweetcheeks, leg of lamb?”
Light dawned and Layne watched her face close down but not before he saw the pain knife through her eyes. “No, Layne,” she said softly. “I didn’t play you.”
Then she shifted as if to slide out from under him but he gave her all his weight, pressing her into the couch and he framed her face with his hands.
“You played me,” he murmured, looking into her eyes.
“I didn’t.” She bucked her back to try to throw him off.
“You played me, just didn’t know you were doing it.”
She stilled under him, held his gaze and announced, “I think I’m sleeping at home tonight.”
He grinned. “Oh no you’re f**kin’ not.”
“I am.”
“You’re not.”
“Layne, I am so get off,” she demanded, bucking again.
His thumb slid over her cheek and down to rest on her lips and his face got close. “No, Roc, you’re not gonna go home. You’re gonna go upstairs and you’re gonna get na**d and climb into my bed and then you’re gonna let me do what I want to your body, whatever I want, for as long as I want and, when I make you come, you’re gonna hafta be quiet about it so you don’t wake up Ma and my boys.”
“Get off,” she whispered but there was no fire to it and his grin turned to a smile, he dropped his head and whispered in her ear.
“First I’m gonna suck your tits and finger f**k you ‘til you come. Then I’m gonna go down on you ‘til you come. Then I’m gonna f**k you hard ‘til I come.” He lifted his head and looked at her face, eyes half-mast, mouth soft and she was already breathing heavily. “You’re up to it, you can come when I f**k you too. We’ll see how I do.”
