Half-Off Ragnarok
Page 87
Snakes have a distinctive smell, dry and ancient, like the wrappings of a mummy or the rot that sleeps at the heart of a rainforest. Pliny’s gorgons like Dee and Frank have a bit of that same smell, but it’s only noticeable if you get right up on top of them, moving into their personal space, which is never a safe place to be. The closer we got to the woods, the stronger the smell became, until it was like we were walking into an old, primal version of the reptile house at the zoo. The hair on my arms stood on end as my mammalian sense of self-preservation kicked in, trying to tell me that I was doing something incredibly stupid. Dee and Frank didn’t seem to share my nerves, probably because they didn’t have any mammalian instincts to tell them that walking into the lair of a giant snake was a suboptimal plan.
I kept walking. No matter how uncomfortable the situation made me, if I wanted to find Shelby, I needed to find Lloyd, and if I wanted to find Lloyd, I was going to need to talk to Hannah. We reached the tree line. Dee and Frank stopped where they were.
“You don’t have to do this,” said Dee. “We can go ahead and ask her if she’ll see you. We can—”
“There’s only one way you’re getting me to stay behind, and I don’t think you’re ready to take that step yet,” I said.
“Don’t be so sure,” said Frank darkly. “You endanger us.”
“No, I don’t. I am saving you.” I glared at him, fighting the urge to start shouting. We were wasting time. Shelby could be bleeding out, and I was standing here arguing about whether or not I had the right to rescue her. “Do you think this can keep happening and no one’s going to notice? You’re one dead body—one more disappearance—away from the feds sweeping in here like the wrath of God, and one rumor on the Internet away from the Covenant coming to see what that raid really uncovered. Lloyd isn’t a professional. Do you get that? He doesn’t know how to make problems go away. He’s making a mess that’s going to land on your heads. Now you can take me to Hannah and I can continue to pretend that I have any interest in being on your side, or you can force me to find her on my own. And after that happens, we are not playing for the same team, got it?”
“I take it you think your team will be the winning one?” asked Frank, a dangerous glint in his eye. His snakes rose into a strike position, hissing. Some of them opened their mouths, displaying dangerously sharp fangs.
“We always have been so far,” I said. “You’re five feet, eight inches away from my current position, Frank. Do you think you can close that distance before I put three bullets in your chest? It’s a math problem. I am very good at math. Unless you’re sure of the answer, I don’t recommend you try to run the numbers.”
“Frank.” Dee put a hand on his arm, her own snakes hissing and slithering over each other like in an eternally moving knot. “We can trust Alex. We have to trust Alex. He’s right. If this doesn’t stop soon, we’re going to be discovered.”
“Mammals,” spat Frank. Then he turned and stepped into the woods. Dee glanced back at me, expression somewhere between apologetic and resigned, and went after him.
I was about to follow two angry gorgons into the woods. I had no cell service, and no one knew where I was. My only potential backup was injured, missing, and presumably being held captive.
“No turning back now,” I said, and stepped into the trees.
The smell of snake was stronger once we were past the tree line, like they had somehow been holding it back, preventing it from coming out into the open. Dee and Frank picked a confident trail through the underbrush, following a series of landmarks that I couldn’t distinguish from everything else around us. I tried to stay close behind them, even as my monkey brain shrieked louder and louder, telling me that I needed to turn back at the first possible opportunity.
As we walked, I started to see glimpses of rock face through the trees. Finally, we moved around a particularly dense clump of elms, and there it was: a cave, cut like a gaping black hole into the side of the Ohio hills. Moss grew thick on the rocks around it, and roots overhung the edge, some of them dangling almost down to the ground. Dee and Frank stopped, allowing me to catch up with them.
“Hannah lives here,” said Dee needlessly. The smell of snake emanating from the cave was so strong that there was no way Hannah could have lived anywhere else.
“I got that,” I said. Neither of them looked inclined to go any further. I eyed them. “Are you staying out here?”
“You’ve been a great boss, Alex, and that’s rare,” said Dee. “You’re even a pretty good guy, which may be rarer. Most of the time these days, I almost forget that you’re a mammal. And none of that is good enough reason for me to go into that cave with you.”
Frank didn’t say anything. He simply stood there, stone-faced and silent, save for the soft hissing of the snakes atop his head.
“Fine,” I said. “Cowards.”
“Better a live coward than a dead hero,” said Dee.
“Dead heroes are sort of the family business,” I replied, and started walking toward the cave. The smell of snake got stronger with every step I took, underscored with a thick layer of old blood and older decay. I took my last breath of semi-clean air, put my hand on the pistol at my waist, and stepped through the curtain of roots into the darkness.
The temperature dropped several degrees as soon as I was inside the cave. The air grew cool and damp at the same time, creating a strange sort of cognitive dissonance. Snakes normally prefer to den in warm places, and the smells of both serpent and decay are hot smells, like chili peppers or sunbaked rock. I slowed my pace, giving my eyes time to adjust to the dimness.
“Hannah?” I called, hand still on my pistol. “It’s Alexander Price. I need to talk to you.”
Something slithered in the dark ahead of me. I swallowed hard, fighting back the wave of panic unleashed by my monkey brain. There were a hundred good reasons not to do this. There were a thousand good reasons to turn around and run.
There was one good reason to be exactly where I was. Her name was Shelby Tanner, and there was a better than good chance that I was in love with her. I kept walking.
“I’m not here to hurt you, and I don’t want to cause any trouble, but I need to talk to you, and I’m not leaving until that happens,” I said.
I kept walking. No matter how uncomfortable the situation made me, if I wanted to find Shelby, I needed to find Lloyd, and if I wanted to find Lloyd, I was going to need to talk to Hannah. We reached the tree line. Dee and Frank stopped where they were.
“You don’t have to do this,” said Dee. “We can go ahead and ask her if she’ll see you. We can—”
“There’s only one way you’re getting me to stay behind, and I don’t think you’re ready to take that step yet,” I said.
“Don’t be so sure,” said Frank darkly. “You endanger us.”
“No, I don’t. I am saving you.” I glared at him, fighting the urge to start shouting. We were wasting time. Shelby could be bleeding out, and I was standing here arguing about whether or not I had the right to rescue her. “Do you think this can keep happening and no one’s going to notice? You’re one dead body—one more disappearance—away from the feds sweeping in here like the wrath of God, and one rumor on the Internet away from the Covenant coming to see what that raid really uncovered. Lloyd isn’t a professional. Do you get that? He doesn’t know how to make problems go away. He’s making a mess that’s going to land on your heads. Now you can take me to Hannah and I can continue to pretend that I have any interest in being on your side, or you can force me to find her on my own. And after that happens, we are not playing for the same team, got it?”
“I take it you think your team will be the winning one?” asked Frank, a dangerous glint in his eye. His snakes rose into a strike position, hissing. Some of them opened their mouths, displaying dangerously sharp fangs.
“We always have been so far,” I said. “You’re five feet, eight inches away from my current position, Frank. Do you think you can close that distance before I put three bullets in your chest? It’s a math problem. I am very good at math. Unless you’re sure of the answer, I don’t recommend you try to run the numbers.”
“Frank.” Dee put a hand on his arm, her own snakes hissing and slithering over each other like in an eternally moving knot. “We can trust Alex. We have to trust Alex. He’s right. If this doesn’t stop soon, we’re going to be discovered.”
“Mammals,” spat Frank. Then he turned and stepped into the woods. Dee glanced back at me, expression somewhere between apologetic and resigned, and went after him.
I was about to follow two angry gorgons into the woods. I had no cell service, and no one knew where I was. My only potential backup was injured, missing, and presumably being held captive.
“No turning back now,” I said, and stepped into the trees.
The smell of snake was stronger once we were past the tree line, like they had somehow been holding it back, preventing it from coming out into the open. Dee and Frank picked a confident trail through the underbrush, following a series of landmarks that I couldn’t distinguish from everything else around us. I tried to stay close behind them, even as my monkey brain shrieked louder and louder, telling me that I needed to turn back at the first possible opportunity.
As we walked, I started to see glimpses of rock face through the trees. Finally, we moved around a particularly dense clump of elms, and there it was: a cave, cut like a gaping black hole into the side of the Ohio hills. Moss grew thick on the rocks around it, and roots overhung the edge, some of them dangling almost down to the ground. Dee and Frank stopped, allowing me to catch up with them.
“Hannah lives here,” said Dee needlessly. The smell of snake emanating from the cave was so strong that there was no way Hannah could have lived anywhere else.
“I got that,” I said. Neither of them looked inclined to go any further. I eyed them. “Are you staying out here?”
“You’ve been a great boss, Alex, and that’s rare,” said Dee. “You’re even a pretty good guy, which may be rarer. Most of the time these days, I almost forget that you’re a mammal. And none of that is good enough reason for me to go into that cave with you.”
Frank didn’t say anything. He simply stood there, stone-faced and silent, save for the soft hissing of the snakes atop his head.
“Fine,” I said. “Cowards.”
“Better a live coward than a dead hero,” said Dee.
“Dead heroes are sort of the family business,” I replied, and started walking toward the cave. The smell of snake got stronger with every step I took, underscored with a thick layer of old blood and older decay. I took my last breath of semi-clean air, put my hand on the pistol at my waist, and stepped through the curtain of roots into the darkness.
The temperature dropped several degrees as soon as I was inside the cave. The air grew cool and damp at the same time, creating a strange sort of cognitive dissonance. Snakes normally prefer to den in warm places, and the smells of both serpent and decay are hot smells, like chili peppers or sunbaked rock. I slowed my pace, giving my eyes time to adjust to the dimness.
“Hannah?” I called, hand still on my pistol. “It’s Alexander Price. I need to talk to you.”
Something slithered in the dark ahead of me. I swallowed hard, fighting back the wave of panic unleashed by my monkey brain. There were a hundred good reasons not to do this. There were a thousand good reasons to turn around and run.
There was one good reason to be exactly where I was. Her name was Shelby Tanner, and there was a better than good chance that I was in love with her. I kept walking.
“I’m not here to hurt you, and I don’t want to cause any trouble, but I need to talk to you, and I’m not leaving until that happens,” I said.
