Hard to Love
Page 13
“Be right back.” I jogged down the hallway, depositing the canister into her bag before rejoining her.
She’d tugged down the blankets and was resting in the center of the bed when I returned. Once I located her, she cuddled against my chest, her head tucked under my chin as if this spot was designed solely for her. Hell, maybe it was.
She reached one hand under my T-shirt and soothed me with gentle caresses I didn’t deserve. Her fingers worked away all the tension in my neck and shoulders. “It’s all going to be okay with Lily, you know. You’re doing the best you can,” she whispered.
Hearing her approval of my efforts with Lily was a shock to my system. It was something I never heard from anyone, least of all myself. There was always more to do, more to worry about, more I should have been doing.
Alexa’s presence in our lives was proof of that. But then again, she was filling a void I couldn’t. Providing a woman’s touch. And seeing the joy she brought to Lily, I wasn’t about to rob Lily of that. But having Alexa acknowledge my efforts, working to calm my fears, set off something inside me and my heart squeezed in my chest. I knew I didn’t deserve a woman this pure and perfect, but damn if I didn’t want to keep her.
“Thank you,” I said, simply.
“I hated how we left things…in that parking lot,” she breathed against my skin.
“Shh.” I kissed away her fears, brushing her hair back from her face. “That was my fault. Will you forgive me?”
“Hmm. That’d be too easy. You might need some reminders about how good we are together.”
I pressed a kiss to her forehead, her sweet scent rushing over me. “I know I’m not the type you take home to Mommy and Daddy, and that never bothered me before now, but dammit Alexa. I’m sorry…” Even if I got to be the first one inside her, the first to fuck her, would it even be enough? Would I be okay with the fact that sooner or later some prick with a nice car and an office job would come along and put a ring on her finger? Fuck, I couldn’t think like that. It was what she deserved. But I’d take every second I could get with her until then.
She pushed against my chest, wanting space and I rolled off of her. In the moonlight, I could just make out her silhouette as she sat back on her heels and lifted her shirt off over her head, thrusting her tits out. All the blood rushed to my groin and I bit back a groan. I swallowed, and pulled in a ragged breath. She was fucking perfection.
She pressed a few soft kisses on my throat and my chest, and rocked her hips against mine. Everything felt different with her. Sure, I was horny as hell, but it was more than that, too. There was nothing meaningless about this. With each soft cry I elicited from her, each time her gaze met mine, I was falling deeper and deeper. But I hadn’t asked her to be part of my life because I knew it wasn’t realistic. I’d been around the block, seen how things worked and wouldn’t put Lily through that. I closed my eyes and tried to just enjoy the time I had with her.
I reached behind her and unclasped her bra, needing to taste her. Hell, I’d give my left nut for a taste. I planted several openmouthed kisses on each bare breast. She thrust her chest out, angling herself closer to my mouth. “Don’t tease me, cupcake. Not if you’re not ready for this…” My voice was coarse, and my tone more menacing than I intended, but Alexa rose on her knees in the center of the bed and began unbuttoning her jeans, slowly sliding them down her hips, wiggling her fine little ass.
“The panties too,” I growled.
She slid her fingers under the elastic and tugged the panties down her legs, sending them over the side of the bed along with her jeans.
Once she was completely undressed, I tugged off my own T-shirt and yanked down my jeans, tossing them to the floor. “Come here.” I eased her down onto her back, and spread her knees until her legs fell apart as wide as they would go, before leaning forward to taste her.
When my mouth met her flesh, her head dropped back against the pillow and she let out a low moan. I circled her clit with my tongue, teasing and sucking the delicate flesh into my mouth while she writhed underneath me. Her hips wouldn’t remain still, lifting to meet my mouth as if they had a mind of their own, and I had to grip her waist to keep hold her steady. I could do this all day, but it wasn’t long before she was balling the comforter in her fists and crying out my name as her release crashed over her.
I crawled up her body and held her against my chest, where she promptly nestled herself in again. “Am I forgiven yet?” I whispered into her hair.
She sighed contentedly and patted my back. “Mm-hmm.”
I chuckled.
Tossing aside the fact that I had a throbbing erection, I would have lain there all night just holding her, doing my best to win her over. But after a few minutes Alexa’s breathing had returned to normal and she climbed on top of me, straddling my lap. The feel of her wet heat pressed against my erection sent my heart rate skyrocketing. I wanted her. Fuck, I needed her.
“You can’t keep sliding that sweet pussy along my cock, sweetheart, unless you’re ready for me to bury it deep inside you.”
She let out a soft whimper.
I gripped her upper arms, hard enough so she knew I was serious but not hard enough to hurt, and hauled her off me. “I’m not going to be able to control myself with you cupcake, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Cade, please. Inside me…” she whispered.
Aw hell, hearing her beg for it just about undid me. Did she know what she was asking me? “Are you sure? Your first time should be with someone important, doll.”
Her answer was determined. “I know.”
My heart spasmed again. I wanted to make her mine. “You sure you’re ready for this?”
“Yes,” she breathed, her voice raspy with need.
I planted a soft kiss on her mouth, and felt her shudder when my erection pressed against her hip. I blindly reached over to my nightstand, unwilling to break the kiss and found the foil packet I was looking for. Within seconds I had rolled on the condom, and once the familiar scent of latex hung in the air, my dick had a mind of its own, nudging against Alexa’s belly as if it was seeking entrance. I knew I needed to slow myself down, but her tiny whimpers and the way she rocked her hips against mine were wearing at my patience.
I brought a hand between us to position myself between her legs and eased forward, nudging the head of my cock against her entrance, bracing myself above her. Alexa gripped my biceps as I pushed forward just slightly. She sucked in a breath and held it, biting her lip.
“Are you okay?”
I felt her nod.
I brushed her hair back from her face and dropped a kiss on her forehead as I pushed forward again. The pressure of her warm channel squeezing me was almost unbearable. I pulled back and thrust forward a third time, allowing myself to slide just a little deeper inside. I watched Alexa’s expression change as I began to fill her. She was beautiful to watch—the little gasps escaping her parted lips, and her pink flushed cheeks.
When I pushed inside farther, unable to hold off from feeling the friction of our bodies any longer, Alexa released a soft cry that was tinged with both pleasure and pain.
“Am I hurting you?”
She squeezed her eyes closed and shook her head. “Just keep going,” she instructed.
God she was so tight, my dick felt like it was being strangled. “Holy fuck, cupcake, this has to be hurting you. Tell me if you want me to stop.”
Her only response was a series of tiny whimpers. Her eyes were squeezed closed—in pleasure or pain, I didn’t know. “Just go slow, okay?”
A surge to protect her, despite the massive case of blue balls awaiting me, swelled in my gut, and I pulled out completely, sitting back on the bed.
“Cade?” She reached for me. “Why’d you stop?”
“Because I was hurting you.”
“So?” Her expression was one of genuine confusion. “I knew it would hurt the first time, but I still want to…” She trailed her hand along my abs, reaching lower.
I removed her hand and pulled her body close to mine. She crawled into my lap, wrapping her arms and legs around me and I cradled her body to mine. She planted insistent kisses along the column of my neck and over my tattoo.
“Fuck, I want you, baby. Are you sure about this?”
“God yes,” she moaned.
I brought my hand to my mouth, applying saliva to my fingertips and reached between us to rub the wetness on the head of my cock. Alexa was still soaking wet, but maybe this would help ease my entrance just enough. “Come here, baby. Lower yourself down on me. You’ll control the pressure. Only take what you can handle.” I positioned myself at her entrance, and Alexa immediately began pushing herself down on me. I bit back a string of curse words. She gripped my shoulders, her nails biting into my skin, and I cupped the globes of her ass, holding her steady.
“Cade,” she moaned, sending a spark of pleasure through my gut, hitting me straight in the balls. I wanted to unleash, to pound into her tight pussy again and again, but I held back, holding myself steady while she raised and lowered herself in tiny increments as she adjusted to my size.
Once I was fully buried in her, she threw her head back and let out a coarse moan. She opened her eyes and met mine, her pouty mouth curving into a mischievous grin. It felt amazing being buried in her sweet body, but I needed her to move or I was going to fucking explode.
Finally she began to rock her hips against mine. “Cade, oh God.” She kissed me distractedly, her open mouth sucking and nipping at mine. I wasn’t any more coordinated than she was, content for our lips to brush as I breathed against her mouth and mumbled endearments to her lips. All my focus was centered on holding onto her tight little ass while she plunged up and down on me.
She rode me faster, her chest grazing mine as she moved. “Yeah, that’s it sweetheart. Oh fuck, just like that, baby.” Knowing my self-control wasn’t going to last, I reached a hand between us and rubbed the pad of my thumb over her swollen bud, sweeping circles around it. She ground her hips into mine, crying out my name.
“Are you close, baby?” I nipped at her lips, increasing the pressure on her clit and lifting my hips to meet her thrusts, unable to hold back any longer.
“Cade. I’m going to come.”
A rush of pride swelled within me and I held on as she pumped herself up and down my cock, moaning and whimpering in a sexy tumble of incoherent words, until I felt a rush of wetness as she came against me. The friction of her tight walls as she squeezed and spasmed around me sent me over the edge and I groaned out my own release, spilling myself inside her.
Chapter 16
Alexa
“Hey, sleepyhead.” Cade pressed a kiss to my forehead, and a lazy smile crossed my lips, remembering where I was—warm and cozy in Cade’s bed. I opened my eyes to find his sleepy gaze inches from mine. His alarm sounded from the dresser and Cade hopped out of bed, still completely nude, to silence it.
I stretched and rolled over, taking the warmth of his vacated spot. It smelled of him—a hint of spicy cologne and the rest just his own masculine scent. Him. I was decidedly sore and dressed in one of Cade’s T-shirt that I didn’t recall putting on.
“Mmm.” I reached for him. “Come back.”
Cade turned to face me, his morning erection greeting me as he sat on the edge of the bed next to me. He pressed a quick kiss to my mouth. “Last night was amazing,” he murmured.
I stretched seductively, pulling the T-shirt over my head and dropping it on the floor. “Come back to bed.”
His eyes roamed my body, and he grinned at what he saw. He traced a fingertip along my belly, circling my hipbone. “Aren’t you sore, baby?”
“Just a little. You might have to kiss it and make it all better.” I smirked seductively, trying my best attempt at dirty talk.
“I better not…I’ve gotta work today.”
What did that have to do with…? “At the construction site?”
He looked down, tucking the edge of the blanket around me. “Ah, no. Actually I have a film shoot today.”
I shot up in bed, tugging the sheet over my naked chest, all inhibitions of the night before gone at the mention of him…working. Especially when said work involved his sleeping with another woman. “I didn’t think you were still doing that. And especially after last night…” Shit. I was going to cry. Right here, naked in his bed and still sore from our lovemaking. I pulled in a breath to steady myself.
“Don’t look at me like that. You knew what I did the first night we met.” Cade slipped into a pair of jeans, forgoing even boxers. I hated the thought that someone other than me would unwrap that package later. I couldn’t share him. Sharing him with Lily was one thing, a very different thing, but certainly not something like this. God, how had I been stupid enough to think that a having a porn star for a boyfriend was a good idea?
“But after last night…” Things changed for me. Completely. But if the morning after being inside me he could go off and do the same thing to another woman without a passing thought, clearly my feelings were more one-sided than I’d believed. Sex didn’t hold the same importance to him as it did to me. And I could never be with someone that didn’t understand and appreciate the intimacy we’d shared. Sure I might’ve joked in the beginning about losing my virginity, but we both knew better. I was falling for Cade. Had fallen. Hard. And he’d taken the gift of my virginity without understanding that he now held my heart in his hands.
“Cade?”
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to do this, cupcake.”
I threw the covers off and leapt from the bed. Don’t cupcake me…
“Alexa…talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I spun around, facing him. “What’s wrong? You’re seriously asking me what’s wrong?” I was not having this conversation while naked. I jerked on my clothes, feeling close to violence that if he so much as tried to lay one finger on me, I’d annihilate him. If he didn’t know what was wrong, there was no use talking to him at all. “So just like that, you’re going to…go off and do that today?”
She’d tugged down the blankets and was resting in the center of the bed when I returned. Once I located her, she cuddled against my chest, her head tucked under my chin as if this spot was designed solely for her. Hell, maybe it was.
She reached one hand under my T-shirt and soothed me with gentle caresses I didn’t deserve. Her fingers worked away all the tension in my neck and shoulders. “It’s all going to be okay with Lily, you know. You’re doing the best you can,” she whispered.
Hearing her approval of my efforts with Lily was a shock to my system. It was something I never heard from anyone, least of all myself. There was always more to do, more to worry about, more I should have been doing.
Alexa’s presence in our lives was proof of that. But then again, she was filling a void I couldn’t. Providing a woman’s touch. And seeing the joy she brought to Lily, I wasn’t about to rob Lily of that. But having Alexa acknowledge my efforts, working to calm my fears, set off something inside me and my heart squeezed in my chest. I knew I didn’t deserve a woman this pure and perfect, but damn if I didn’t want to keep her.
“Thank you,” I said, simply.
“I hated how we left things…in that parking lot,” she breathed against my skin.
“Shh.” I kissed away her fears, brushing her hair back from her face. “That was my fault. Will you forgive me?”
“Hmm. That’d be too easy. You might need some reminders about how good we are together.”
I pressed a kiss to her forehead, her sweet scent rushing over me. “I know I’m not the type you take home to Mommy and Daddy, and that never bothered me before now, but dammit Alexa. I’m sorry…” Even if I got to be the first one inside her, the first to fuck her, would it even be enough? Would I be okay with the fact that sooner or later some prick with a nice car and an office job would come along and put a ring on her finger? Fuck, I couldn’t think like that. It was what she deserved. But I’d take every second I could get with her until then.
She pushed against my chest, wanting space and I rolled off of her. In the moonlight, I could just make out her silhouette as she sat back on her heels and lifted her shirt off over her head, thrusting her tits out. All the blood rushed to my groin and I bit back a groan. I swallowed, and pulled in a ragged breath. She was fucking perfection.
She pressed a few soft kisses on my throat and my chest, and rocked her hips against mine. Everything felt different with her. Sure, I was horny as hell, but it was more than that, too. There was nothing meaningless about this. With each soft cry I elicited from her, each time her gaze met mine, I was falling deeper and deeper. But I hadn’t asked her to be part of my life because I knew it wasn’t realistic. I’d been around the block, seen how things worked and wouldn’t put Lily through that. I closed my eyes and tried to just enjoy the time I had with her.
I reached behind her and unclasped her bra, needing to taste her. Hell, I’d give my left nut for a taste. I planted several openmouthed kisses on each bare breast. She thrust her chest out, angling herself closer to my mouth. “Don’t tease me, cupcake. Not if you’re not ready for this…” My voice was coarse, and my tone more menacing than I intended, but Alexa rose on her knees in the center of the bed and began unbuttoning her jeans, slowly sliding them down her hips, wiggling her fine little ass.
“The panties too,” I growled.
She slid her fingers under the elastic and tugged the panties down her legs, sending them over the side of the bed along with her jeans.
Once she was completely undressed, I tugged off my own T-shirt and yanked down my jeans, tossing them to the floor. “Come here.” I eased her down onto her back, and spread her knees until her legs fell apart as wide as they would go, before leaning forward to taste her.
When my mouth met her flesh, her head dropped back against the pillow and she let out a low moan. I circled her clit with my tongue, teasing and sucking the delicate flesh into my mouth while she writhed underneath me. Her hips wouldn’t remain still, lifting to meet my mouth as if they had a mind of their own, and I had to grip her waist to keep hold her steady. I could do this all day, but it wasn’t long before she was balling the comforter in her fists and crying out my name as her release crashed over her.
I crawled up her body and held her against my chest, where she promptly nestled herself in again. “Am I forgiven yet?” I whispered into her hair.
She sighed contentedly and patted my back. “Mm-hmm.”
I chuckled.
Tossing aside the fact that I had a throbbing erection, I would have lain there all night just holding her, doing my best to win her over. But after a few minutes Alexa’s breathing had returned to normal and she climbed on top of me, straddling my lap. The feel of her wet heat pressed against my erection sent my heart rate skyrocketing. I wanted her. Fuck, I needed her.
“You can’t keep sliding that sweet pussy along my cock, sweetheart, unless you’re ready for me to bury it deep inside you.”
She let out a soft whimper.
I gripped her upper arms, hard enough so she knew I was serious but not hard enough to hurt, and hauled her off me. “I’m not going to be able to control myself with you cupcake, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Cade, please. Inside me…” she whispered.
Aw hell, hearing her beg for it just about undid me. Did she know what she was asking me? “Are you sure? Your first time should be with someone important, doll.”
Her answer was determined. “I know.”
My heart spasmed again. I wanted to make her mine. “You sure you’re ready for this?”
“Yes,” she breathed, her voice raspy with need.
I planted a soft kiss on her mouth, and felt her shudder when my erection pressed against her hip. I blindly reached over to my nightstand, unwilling to break the kiss and found the foil packet I was looking for. Within seconds I had rolled on the condom, and once the familiar scent of latex hung in the air, my dick had a mind of its own, nudging against Alexa’s belly as if it was seeking entrance. I knew I needed to slow myself down, but her tiny whimpers and the way she rocked her hips against mine were wearing at my patience.
I brought a hand between us to position myself between her legs and eased forward, nudging the head of my cock against her entrance, bracing myself above her. Alexa gripped my biceps as I pushed forward just slightly. She sucked in a breath and held it, biting her lip.
“Are you okay?”
I felt her nod.
I brushed her hair back from her face and dropped a kiss on her forehead as I pushed forward again. The pressure of her warm channel squeezing me was almost unbearable. I pulled back and thrust forward a third time, allowing myself to slide just a little deeper inside. I watched Alexa’s expression change as I began to fill her. She was beautiful to watch—the little gasps escaping her parted lips, and her pink flushed cheeks.
When I pushed inside farther, unable to hold off from feeling the friction of our bodies any longer, Alexa released a soft cry that was tinged with both pleasure and pain.
“Am I hurting you?”
She squeezed her eyes closed and shook her head. “Just keep going,” she instructed.
God she was so tight, my dick felt like it was being strangled. “Holy fuck, cupcake, this has to be hurting you. Tell me if you want me to stop.”
Her only response was a series of tiny whimpers. Her eyes were squeezed closed—in pleasure or pain, I didn’t know. “Just go slow, okay?”
A surge to protect her, despite the massive case of blue balls awaiting me, swelled in my gut, and I pulled out completely, sitting back on the bed.
“Cade?” She reached for me. “Why’d you stop?”
“Because I was hurting you.”
“So?” Her expression was one of genuine confusion. “I knew it would hurt the first time, but I still want to…” She trailed her hand along my abs, reaching lower.
I removed her hand and pulled her body close to mine. She crawled into my lap, wrapping her arms and legs around me and I cradled her body to mine. She planted insistent kisses along the column of my neck and over my tattoo.
“Fuck, I want you, baby. Are you sure about this?”
“God yes,” she moaned.
I brought my hand to my mouth, applying saliva to my fingertips and reached between us to rub the wetness on the head of my cock. Alexa was still soaking wet, but maybe this would help ease my entrance just enough. “Come here, baby. Lower yourself down on me. You’ll control the pressure. Only take what you can handle.” I positioned myself at her entrance, and Alexa immediately began pushing herself down on me. I bit back a string of curse words. She gripped my shoulders, her nails biting into my skin, and I cupped the globes of her ass, holding her steady.
“Cade,” she moaned, sending a spark of pleasure through my gut, hitting me straight in the balls. I wanted to unleash, to pound into her tight pussy again and again, but I held back, holding myself steady while she raised and lowered herself in tiny increments as she adjusted to my size.
Once I was fully buried in her, she threw her head back and let out a coarse moan. She opened her eyes and met mine, her pouty mouth curving into a mischievous grin. It felt amazing being buried in her sweet body, but I needed her to move or I was going to fucking explode.
Finally she began to rock her hips against mine. “Cade, oh God.” She kissed me distractedly, her open mouth sucking and nipping at mine. I wasn’t any more coordinated than she was, content for our lips to brush as I breathed against her mouth and mumbled endearments to her lips. All my focus was centered on holding onto her tight little ass while she plunged up and down on me.
She rode me faster, her chest grazing mine as she moved. “Yeah, that’s it sweetheart. Oh fuck, just like that, baby.” Knowing my self-control wasn’t going to last, I reached a hand between us and rubbed the pad of my thumb over her swollen bud, sweeping circles around it. She ground her hips into mine, crying out my name.
“Are you close, baby?” I nipped at her lips, increasing the pressure on her clit and lifting my hips to meet her thrusts, unable to hold back any longer.
“Cade. I’m going to come.”
A rush of pride swelled within me and I held on as she pumped herself up and down my cock, moaning and whimpering in a sexy tumble of incoherent words, until I felt a rush of wetness as she came against me. The friction of her tight walls as she squeezed and spasmed around me sent me over the edge and I groaned out my own release, spilling myself inside her.
Chapter 16
Alexa
“Hey, sleepyhead.” Cade pressed a kiss to my forehead, and a lazy smile crossed my lips, remembering where I was—warm and cozy in Cade’s bed. I opened my eyes to find his sleepy gaze inches from mine. His alarm sounded from the dresser and Cade hopped out of bed, still completely nude, to silence it.
I stretched and rolled over, taking the warmth of his vacated spot. It smelled of him—a hint of spicy cologne and the rest just his own masculine scent. Him. I was decidedly sore and dressed in one of Cade’s T-shirt that I didn’t recall putting on.
“Mmm.” I reached for him. “Come back.”
Cade turned to face me, his morning erection greeting me as he sat on the edge of the bed next to me. He pressed a quick kiss to my mouth. “Last night was amazing,” he murmured.
I stretched seductively, pulling the T-shirt over my head and dropping it on the floor. “Come back to bed.”
His eyes roamed my body, and he grinned at what he saw. He traced a fingertip along my belly, circling my hipbone. “Aren’t you sore, baby?”
“Just a little. You might have to kiss it and make it all better.” I smirked seductively, trying my best attempt at dirty talk.
“I better not…I’ve gotta work today.”
What did that have to do with…? “At the construction site?”
He looked down, tucking the edge of the blanket around me. “Ah, no. Actually I have a film shoot today.”
I shot up in bed, tugging the sheet over my naked chest, all inhibitions of the night before gone at the mention of him…working. Especially when said work involved his sleeping with another woman. “I didn’t think you were still doing that. And especially after last night…” Shit. I was going to cry. Right here, naked in his bed and still sore from our lovemaking. I pulled in a breath to steady myself.
“Don’t look at me like that. You knew what I did the first night we met.” Cade slipped into a pair of jeans, forgoing even boxers. I hated the thought that someone other than me would unwrap that package later. I couldn’t share him. Sharing him with Lily was one thing, a very different thing, but certainly not something like this. God, how had I been stupid enough to think that a having a porn star for a boyfriend was a good idea?
“But after last night…” Things changed for me. Completely. But if the morning after being inside me he could go off and do the same thing to another woman without a passing thought, clearly my feelings were more one-sided than I’d believed. Sex didn’t hold the same importance to him as it did to me. And I could never be with someone that didn’t understand and appreciate the intimacy we’d shared. Sure I might’ve joked in the beginning about losing my virginity, but we both knew better. I was falling for Cade. Had fallen. Hard. And he’d taken the gift of my virginity without understanding that he now held my heart in his hands.
“Cade?”
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to do this, cupcake.”
I threw the covers off and leapt from the bed. Don’t cupcake me…
“Alexa…talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I spun around, facing him. “What’s wrong? You’re seriously asking me what’s wrong?” I was not having this conversation while naked. I jerked on my clothes, feeling close to violence that if he so much as tried to lay one finger on me, I’d annihilate him. If he didn’t know what was wrong, there was no use talking to him at all. “So just like that, you’re going to…go off and do that today?”
