Heart Recaptured
Page 18
Yet here I was, cleansed from an earlier shower and dressed in my long gray dress, white headdress, sandals, listening intently for Ky’s arrival.
Nerves built up in my body as I sat with proper obedient decorum on the edge of the bed. Ky, the man to teach me about the world, always stared at me, his eyes hooded and his tongue licking over the seam of his lips while his teeth ground down on the small, thin stick he often had protruding from his mouth.
When I observed him from my bedroom window, I established he only ever seemed to wear black or white shirts, loose black or blue denim pants, heavy black boots with metal around the back, and that leather vest boasting that the men here in this place were at one with Hades, the devil.
I had never seen men dress so casually, so strangely, and worse was the way he acted with women, specifically two women… Two blond women he would openly grope, and I dare not mention the other acts. But worse still was that the women openly welcomed his advances and those of each other. I had never seen two women being so… free with one another, carnally. But Ky seemed to enjoy what they did with him. In fact, many of the women walking around at night, especially Saturday nights, acted in the same way.
Prophet David’s main teaching raced through my head as I watched the regular and sinful acts of debauchery happening in front of my eyes. Evil is stalking. Evil will catch you. Evil will destroy your very soul.
Lord, how had things come to this? Brother Noah kept telling me I was close to being saved. That by his schoolings, my soul was being purified. I would no longer be a cursed. But here, in this place, I had no chance of achieving what I wanted, what I had only ever wanted: to not be lusted after because of this Satan-created face.
“Sister?”
Maddie’s sleepy voice rescued me from despair, and I glanced to her bed, her green eyes tired and rimmed with dark circles. Maddie had always been a mystery, never revealing what was in her heart. For the past few weeks, we had been the sole occupants of these quarters. Most days were spent in silence, both of us lost in thought and neither of us sharing our deepest fears.
“Why are you dressed so early? Dawn has barely broken,” she asked.
Sighing nervously, I replied, “I am to receive tutorage today. A man from the club has been charged with teaching me about this outside world.”
The reaction in my sister was instant. Maddie began shaking and her eyes grew almost inhumanly wide. “Is…?” She gulped. “Is someone coming for me also?”
“I do not believe so,” I soothed as Maddie gulped in more air. I realized she had not been breathing, awaiting my reply.
Hand on her chest, she sat up, resting her back against the headboard, and asked, “Then why are you to be schooled?”
Staring at a wooden knot in a loose floorboard, I replied, “Because of my actions last night.”
“I told you not to go out there, Lilah!”
“I know,” I whispered in embarrassment. “And now I am being punished.”
Raising the bed sheet up to the lower part of her throat, Maddie asked, “And what do these men deem as punishment?” Her eyes began to glisten and she added, “Will they… will they take us, punish us as the elders did?”
Heart beating furiously in my chest, I replied, “I do not know.”
“No,” Maddie suddenly said, shaking her head. “Mae would not allow this. Her Styx, he would not let them treat us in such a manner.”
My mouth gaped at her trust. “Maddie, they are sinners. They openly worship the devil. They are capable of anything.”
“I do not think they worship the devil, Lilah. I have seen no such ceremony or service from my studies out of the window. They simply rebel like Satan did against the Lord when he ordered his angels to bow down to his greatness.”
My eyes narrowed. “They are willingly letting in the occult by wearing the devil’s face on their backs! This is a mortal sin, most certainly not the way we live our life. I do not trust them, and I am fairly positive Mae has lost her senses and her moral core.”
Maddie’s eyes roved down my body, and she said, “If you do not trust these men, why are you ready so early?”
My stomach flipped, but I said curtly, “Because I will do what I have to do to survive. I shall do as commanded until the Lord sends his disciples to save us.”
Maddie stayed silent after that, her gaze intent on her hands, fiddling with the top of the bed sheet. I knew she didn’t want to be rescued. She would rather live in isolation here in this room. But thoughts of deliverance occupied my mind every second of every day.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs and every part of me turned to stone. He was coming. Breathe. Breathe. You can be strong. You can be around him, I told myself.
The doorknob turned. I held my breath in anticipation…
“Sisters?”
Exhaling in relief, my body returned to normal. Mae entered cautiously, wearing those immodest garments, and she had cosmetics painted on her face. She was holding out a tray filled with food, and behind her were her new friends—the blond woman and the large, dark tattooed woman. I feared her immensely. In the commune, there had only ever been people of my color and race. I had not encountered someone like Letti.
The three of them stepped through and shut the door, sealing us in.
“I thought we could break our fast together this morning,” Mae said with a kind smile.
I loved my sister; that lovely smile of hers had brought me out of some very dark times in my life. But now I felt disconnected from Mae. She was embracing a life I could not understand, loved a man who with one glare I feared could incinerate a person. He was a dark, large, silent, brooding fallen angel.
Styx. His name said it all.
But Mae was happy. I could not recall a time when I was ever truly happy.
Placing the tray on the table at the side of the room, Mae gave me an encouraging smile. I dipped my head in gratitude, though I was positive I would not be able to eat. I felt as though butterflies had made a home in my stomach just at the very thought of spending time alone with Ky.
The blond woman stepped forward and said, “You remember me, darlin’? Beauty?” She pointed to her chest.
I nodded and gave her a small smile.
“Why… why is your… Beauty?” Maddie asked in a quiet voice, shocking us all that she had spoken to people she did not know. She immediately dipped her eyes. Mae walked over to her younger sister, slipping beside her on the bed, and took her in her arms.
Nerves built up in my body as I sat with proper obedient decorum on the edge of the bed. Ky, the man to teach me about the world, always stared at me, his eyes hooded and his tongue licking over the seam of his lips while his teeth ground down on the small, thin stick he often had protruding from his mouth.
When I observed him from my bedroom window, I established he only ever seemed to wear black or white shirts, loose black or blue denim pants, heavy black boots with metal around the back, and that leather vest boasting that the men here in this place were at one with Hades, the devil.
I had never seen men dress so casually, so strangely, and worse was the way he acted with women, specifically two women… Two blond women he would openly grope, and I dare not mention the other acts. But worse still was that the women openly welcomed his advances and those of each other. I had never seen two women being so… free with one another, carnally. But Ky seemed to enjoy what they did with him. In fact, many of the women walking around at night, especially Saturday nights, acted in the same way.
Prophet David’s main teaching raced through my head as I watched the regular and sinful acts of debauchery happening in front of my eyes. Evil is stalking. Evil will catch you. Evil will destroy your very soul.
Lord, how had things come to this? Brother Noah kept telling me I was close to being saved. That by his schoolings, my soul was being purified. I would no longer be a cursed. But here, in this place, I had no chance of achieving what I wanted, what I had only ever wanted: to not be lusted after because of this Satan-created face.
“Sister?”
Maddie’s sleepy voice rescued me from despair, and I glanced to her bed, her green eyes tired and rimmed with dark circles. Maddie had always been a mystery, never revealing what was in her heart. For the past few weeks, we had been the sole occupants of these quarters. Most days were spent in silence, both of us lost in thought and neither of us sharing our deepest fears.
“Why are you dressed so early? Dawn has barely broken,” she asked.
Sighing nervously, I replied, “I am to receive tutorage today. A man from the club has been charged with teaching me about this outside world.”
The reaction in my sister was instant. Maddie began shaking and her eyes grew almost inhumanly wide. “Is…?” She gulped. “Is someone coming for me also?”
“I do not believe so,” I soothed as Maddie gulped in more air. I realized she had not been breathing, awaiting my reply.
Hand on her chest, she sat up, resting her back against the headboard, and asked, “Then why are you to be schooled?”
Staring at a wooden knot in a loose floorboard, I replied, “Because of my actions last night.”
“I told you not to go out there, Lilah!”
“I know,” I whispered in embarrassment. “And now I am being punished.”
Raising the bed sheet up to the lower part of her throat, Maddie asked, “And what do these men deem as punishment?” Her eyes began to glisten and she added, “Will they… will they take us, punish us as the elders did?”
Heart beating furiously in my chest, I replied, “I do not know.”
“No,” Maddie suddenly said, shaking her head. “Mae would not allow this. Her Styx, he would not let them treat us in such a manner.”
My mouth gaped at her trust. “Maddie, they are sinners. They openly worship the devil. They are capable of anything.”
“I do not think they worship the devil, Lilah. I have seen no such ceremony or service from my studies out of the window. They simply rebel like Satan did against the Lord when he ordered his angels to bow down to his greatness.”
My eyes narrowed. “They are willingly letting in the occult by wearing the devil’s face on their backs! This is a mortal sin, most certainly not the way we live our life. I do not trust them, and I am fairly positive Mae has lost her senses and her moral core.”
Maddie’s eyes roved down my body, and she said, “If you do not trust these men, why are you ready so early?”
My stomach flipped, but I said curtly, “Because I will do what I have to do to survive. I shall do as commanded until the Lord sends his disciples to save us.”
Maddie stayed silent after that, her gaze intent on her hands, fiddling with the top of the bed sheet. I knew she didn’t want to be rescued. She would rather live in isolation here in this room. But thoughts of deliverance occupied my mind every second of every day.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs and every part of me turned to stone. He was coming. Breathe. Breathe. You can be strong. You can be around him, I told myself.
The doorknob turned. I held my breath in anticipation…
“Sisters?”
Exhaling in relief, my body returned to normal. Mae entered cautiously, wearing those immodest garments, and she had cosmetics painted on her face. She was holding out a tray filled with food, and behind her were her new friends—the blond woman and the large, dark tattooed woman. I feared her immensely. In the commune, there had only ever been people of my color and race. I had not encountered someone like Letti.
The three of them stepped through and shut the door, sealing us in.
“I thought we could break our fast together this morning,” Mae said with a kind smile.
I loved my sister; that lovely smile of hers had brought me out of some very dark times in my life. But now I felt disconnected from Mae. She was embracing a life I could not understand, loved a man who with one glare I feared could incinerate a person. He was a dark, large, silent, brooding fallen angel.
Styx. His name said it all.
But Mae was happy. I could not recall a time when I was ever truly happy.
Placing the tray on the table at the side of the room, Mae gave me an encouraging smile. I dipped my head in gratitude, though I was positive I would not be able to eat. I felt as though butterflies had made a home in my stomach just at the very thought of spending time alone with Ky.
The blond woman stepped forward and said, “You remember me, darlin’? Beauty?” She pointed to her chest.
I nodded and gave her a small smile.
“Why… why is your… Beauty?” Maddie asked in a quiet voice, shocking us all that she had spoken to people she did not know. She immediately dipped her eyes. Mae walked over to her younger sister, slipping beside her on the bed, and took her in her arms.
