Hearts of Blue
Page 6
My father was six foot four, lean and mean, with brown hair and blue eyes. My mother was five foot nothing, small and timid, with red hair and brown eyes. At five foot six, tough but sensitive, with red hair and blue eyes, I was an even mix of the both of them.
My mother was my father’s doormat, and the sad thing was that she seemed quite happy to continue in that way. Never in my life could I remember a time when I wanted to be like her. And never in my life could I remember a time when I wanted to be like my dad. I know, funny that I say it, since I seemingly followed in his footsteps and joined the police. The thing is, I never joined the police to please him. I joined the police because I wanted to help people, but more importantly, I joined to prove him wrong.
As a kid I was a tomboy, idolising characters like Sarah Connor and Ellen Ripley, yet every day I’d have to sit around and listen to my dad say stuff like, They shouldn’t let women on the force, they’re too weak-willed, and, What’s the point of a female police officer? Strength-wise, she’ll never be able to take down a man.
At the same time I had to deal with his constant criticisms of both me and Mum, and somehow that transformed into a deep-seated need to do everything in my power to prove my worth. The only problem with that? Katherine Jennings hated my guts, and as long as she did, I was never going to make sergeant. Seven years on the force and I was still a lowly constable. Needless to say, Dad was over the fucking moon that I’d never managed to rise in rank. It proved him right.
Every time I went to dinner at my parents’ house, I had to listen to him go on and on about how I should just quit my job and go do something less hazardous for a woman, like say, become a waitress or a florist. I swear, one of these days I wasn’t going to hold back the tirade of venom that had been piling up inside me for years. One of these days I was going to let him have all of it.
Taking a deep breath and sinking into the bubbles, I tried to rid my thoughts of my father and think of something more relaxing. Somehow, Lee’s face flashed in my mind, which got my blood up in a very different way. I couldn’t win. Involuntarily, a tiny laugh escaped me as I thought of what my father would think if I brought Lee home with me for dinner some evening. And you know, it’d almost be worth it just to see the look on his face, to see that vein in his forehead throb, the one that looked like Vesuvius ready to erupt whenever something pissed him off.
Closing my eyes, I slid farther into the bath, dunking my head under the water as I remembered the first time I met Lee.
“You got a boyfriend?” he asked, hands braced casually on the metal end of my shopping trolley. He had really intense eyes, and the way the muscles in his forearms flexed was a little bit mesmerising.
“That’s none of your business,” I replied, trying to focus on the shelved packages in front of me.
“You act like you’ve got a boyfriend, or are all cops this uptight?”
A small laugh escaped me. “Look, you’re barking up the wrong tree and I’ve got groceries to shop for, so could you please leave me to it?”
He leaned a fraction closer. “How long have you known Alexis? She never mentioned you while she and Stu were together.”
Cocking an eyebrow, I replied, “Hmm, I wonder why that is? People don’t generally mention the fact that they have friends in law enforcement to someone like you.”
I instantly regretted how judgmental I sounded, but it was the truth. Lee had “dodgy” stamped all over him, from the tattoos to the wiser-than-he-pretends-to-be gleam in his eye. I’d met blokes like him before, usually while I was working. They’d have your wallet and phone from your pocket before you ever realised you were a few hundred quid lighter.
The curve to his lips was at odds with the hardness that suddenly marked his expression. “Someone like me?”
“Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know you.”
“Yeah, you don’t.”
“And I don’t want to.”
He let go of the trolley and came around to stand before me, whispering, “Now, we both know that’s a lie.” I looked up at him from beneath my lashes, sucking in a breath at his proximity. He smelled like cigarettes and cologne, and I suddenly realised I was enjoying his closeness. Standing back, I shot him a hard stare that told him not to push his luck. He didn’t take the warning, and instead reached out to pull a strand of my hair between his fingers.
“I fucking love this hair. You’re gorgeous. Let me take you out.”
So, he was one of those men, the kind who had a thing for redheads. Before I had a chance to respond, I was saved by Alexis, who came up behind Lee and slapped him cheekily on the arse. God, I loved her. Sometimes it was great having a friend who knew exactly when you needed saving.
I rose out of the water, inhaling a deep breath, and tried to shake my thoughts of Lee. Thinking about a man I could never have was a waste of time. So, doing my best to clear my mind, I endeavoured to enjoy the rest of my bath, minus the inner ramblings.
Two
“Getting high off his own supply. Bloody typical,” my workmate Steve tutted as he recounted the story of a dealer he’d busted the day before.
I wasn’t too fond of Steve, mainly because he was fond enough of himself for the both of us, and his alpha-male braggadocio tended to rub me up the wrong way. It was a Saturday morning, and I was stationed with him, Tony, and another constable, Keira, outside Upton Park, where a football match was to take place between Arsenal and Spurs.
My mother was my father’s doormat, and the sad thing was that she seemed quite happy to continue in that way. Never in my life could I remember a time when I wanted to be like her. And never in my life could I remember a time when I wanted to be like my dad. I know, funny that I say it, since I seemingly followed in his footsteps and joined the police. The thing is, I never joined the police to please him. I joined the police because I wanted to help people, but more importantly, I joined to prove him wrong.
As a kid I was a tomboy, idolising characters like Sarah Connor and Ellen Ripley, yet every day I’d have to sit around and listen to my dad say stuff like, They shouldn’t let women on the force, they’re too weak-willed, and, What’s the point of a female police officer? Strength-wise, she’ll never be able to take down a man.
At the same time I had to deal with his constant criticisms of both me and Mum, and somehow that transformed into a deep-seated need to do everything in my power to prove my worth. The only problem with that? Katherine Jennings hated my guts, and as long as she did, I was never going to make sergeant. Seven years on the force and I was still a lowly constable. Needless to say, Dad was over the fucking moon that I’d never managed to rise in rank. It proved him right.
Every time I went to dinner at my parents’ house, I had to listen to him go on and on about how I should just quit my job and go do something less hazardous for a woman, like say, become a waitress or a florist. I swear, one of these days I wasn’t going to hold back the tirade of venom that had been piling up inside me for years. One of these days I was going to let him have all of it.
Taking a deep breath and sinking into the bubbles, I tried to rid my thoughts of my father and think of something more relaxing. Somehow, Lee’s face flashed in my mind, which got my blood up in a very different way. I couldn’t win. Involuntarily, a tiny laugh escaped me as I thought of what my father would think if I brought Lee home with me for dinner some evening. And you know, it’d almost be worth it just to see the look on his face, to see that vein in his forehead throb, the one that looked like Vesuvius ready to erupt whenever something pissed him off.
Closing my eyes, I slid farther into the bath, dunking my head under the water as I remembered the first time I met Lee.
“You got a boyfriend?” he asked, hands braced casually on the metal end of my shopping trolley. He had really intense eyes, and the way the muscles in his forearms flexed was a little bit mesmerising.
“That’s none of your business,” I replied, trying to focus on the shelved packages in front of me.
“You act like you’ve got a boyfriend, or are all cops this uptight?”
A small laugh escaped me. “Look, you’re barking up the wrong tree and I’ve got groceries to shop for, so could you please leave me to it?”
He leaned a fraction closer. “How long have you known Alexis? She never mentioned you while she and Stu were together.”
Cocking an eyebrow, I replied, “Hmm, I wonder why that is? People don’t generally mention the fact that they have friends in law enforcement to someone like you.”
I instantly regretted how judgmental I sounded, but it was the truth. Lee had “dodgy” stamped all over him, from the tattoos to the wiser-than-he-pretends-to-be gleam in his eye. I’d met blokes like him before, usually while I was working. They’d have your wallet and phone from your pocket before you ever realised you were a few hundred quid lighter.
The curve to his lips was at odds with the hardness that suddenly marked his expression. “Someone like me?”
“Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know you.”
“Yeah, you don’t.”
“And I don’t want to.”
He let go of the trolley and came around to stand before me, whispering, “Now, we both know that’s a lie.” I looked up at him from beneath my lashes, sucking in a breath at his proximity. He smelled like cigarettes and cologne, and I suddenly realised I was enjoying his closeness. Standing back, I shot him a hard stare that told him not to push his luck. He didn’t take the warning, and instead reached out to pull a strand of my hair between his fingers.
“I fucking love this hair. You’re gorgeous. Let me take you out.”
So, he was one of those men, the kind who had a thing for redheads. Before I had a chance to respond, I was saved by Alexis, who came up behind Lee and slapped him cheekily on the arse. God, I loved her. Sometimes it was great having a friend who knew exactly when you needed saving.
I rose out of the water, inhaling a deep breath, and tried to shake my thoughts of Lee. Thinking about a man I could never have was a waste of time. So, doing my best to clear my mind, I endeavoured to enjoy the rest of my bath, minus the inner ramblings.
Two
“Getting high off his own supply. Bloody typical,” my workmate Steve tutted as he recounted the story of a dealer he’d busted the day before.
I wasn’t too fond of Steve, mainly because he was fond enough of himself for the both of us, and his alpha-male braggadocio tended to rub me up the wrong way. It was a Saturday morning, and I was stationed with him, Tony, and another constable, Keira, outside Upton Park, where a football match was to take place between Arsenal and Spurs.
