Hearts of Blue
Page 64
My stomach was rumbling loudly, a reminder that I hadn’t eaten yet today, when Tony came over. There was a crease in his brow as he stared down at the clipboard he held, listing the stolen vehicles.
“I don’t understand,” he said, confused, and I perked up suddenly. “Not a single one of these motors matches the ones on this list.”
I let out a breath, whether in relief or surprise, I couldn’t say. “Do you think somebody gave Jennings bad information?”
“Either that, or someone tipped them off that we were coming,” said Tony, his gaze drifting around the room, and all of a sudden I knew. There was no suspicion in his voice, only a statement of fact, and yet my stomach twisted like he’d just pointed an accusatory finger right at me.
“Has Jennings been told?”
Tony nodded. “I just informed her. She’s on the warpath. Probably best to steer clear of her today.”
“I hear that,” I muttered, rubbing my fingers over my tired eyes.
It wasn’t bad information. Tony had hit the nail on the head. They’d known we were coming, and it was all down to me. This morning had gone from bad to worse. First I felt guilty for not warning Lee about the search, and now I was fuming that he’d pretended to be asleep while he’d quite clearly been listening to a private phone call. Whatever way you wanted to spin it, he’d taken advantage of our personal relationship and jeopardised my job in the process. But really, I was even angrier at myself, because I’d jeopardised it too just by being with him. I was also dumb enough to think I could trust him.
Whatever happened to the woman who’d said she’d never let herself say yes to Lee Cross?
She forgot to use her brain, that’s what. The more minutes that passed, the angrier I became. At some point I saw Jennings stride out of the garage, a face like thunder, and several members of the search team left with her. Only a few remained, and I took the opportunity to go and find Lee. He was standing in a back corridor of the building, one side of which led to a break room and the other to a bathroom. He had his back to me as he and Stu spoke in hushed tones. Looking behind me to make sure none of my colleagues were nearby, I grabbed Lee’s arm and yanked him inside the bathroom before he could react.
“Hey!” Stu yelled as I slammed the door shut and flicked over the lock.
“What the fuck?” Lee swore, his expression furious.
I took a step toward him. “Don’t look at me like that. I know what you did.”
He cocked an eyebrow and splayed his arms out. “Oh, yeah, and what’s that?”
“You took advantage of me, that’s what. You weren’t asleep this morning when Tony called, were you? You bloody well heard everything.”
Lee didn’t answer, just stared at me stonily. I let out a crazed laugh and placed my hands on my hips as I peered up at the ceiling. “God, how could I have been so stupid?” Suddenly, hurt began to mix in with my anger, a sharp pang shooting through my chest. “You and your brothers have probably been laughing at me all this time, laughing at the dumb cop who couldn’t see through your act.”
“You’re wrong,” Lee said firmly.
“Oh, yeah? Explain it, then.”
His expression softened by the tiniest fraction as he stepped closer. “I can’t do this right now, Karla. I’ll come over to yours later and we’ll talk, okay?”
His response made my temper flare as I pressed both hands to his chest and pushed him back. “You’ll do no such thing. I don’t want to see you after this, not ever. You’re just a little boy playing around with fire, only I’m the one who got burned.”
Before I could pull away, Lee caught my wrists, yanking my body to his as he glared down at me. “I was never a boy, not in this life. Even when I was a kid, I didn’t feel like one, so don’t give me that. And do you know how much I was willing you to say something this morning? Anything. But you didn’t breathe a word. Not one fucking word. I should’ve known you didn’t really give a shit about me after what happened with Liam. But no, I didn’t listen to my gut, I just let my cock lead me, thinking you were perfect. That makes me the stupid one, not you.”
His words cut me deep and I pulled at his grip, but he held me too tightly and I couldn’t break free. “Don’t you dare try turning this around.”
“Why not?” he asked, his warm breath hitting my cheeks. “Yes, I listened to your phone call, but you were going to let me walk out of your flat completely oblivious to the fact that I was about to be fucked over. You know this isn’t the life I’d choose if there’d been another option, yet you were going to let me go to prison, Karla. Let that sink in for a minute. It killed me when you didn’t say anything, and I waited. I gave you every opportunity.”
The hurt in his eyes was plain as day, and the wind went right out of my sails. “I wanted to tell you,” I whispered. “But I just…I just couldn’t.”
“Of course you couldn’t, because you care more about being a cop and saving all the people you perceive as innocent than you’ll ever care about me. You’ll never see that the world isn’t all black and white.” Anger and anguish mixed in his voice as it cracked around the edges, catching. “Sometimes the innocent ones are guilty only because the world didn’t give them a chance to stay innocent. Maybe I’m the one you should think about saving.”
“I don’t understand,” he said, confused, and I perked up suddenly. “Not a single one of these motors matches the ones on this list.”
I let out a breath, whether in relief or surprise, I couldn’t say. “Do you think somebody gave Jennings bad information?”
“Either that, or someone tipped them off that we were coming,” said Tony, his gaze drifting around the room, and all of a sudden I knew. There was no suspicion in his voice, only a statement of fact, and yet my stomach twisted like he’d just pointed an accusatory finger right at me.
“Has Jennings been told?”
Tony nodded. “I just informed her. She’s on the warpath. Probably best to steer clear of her today.”
“I hear that,” I muttered, rubbing my fingers over my tired eyes.
It wasn’t bad information. Tony had hit the nail on the head. They’d known we were coming, and it was all down to me. This morning had gone from bad to worse. First I felt guilty for not warning Lee about the search, and now I was fuming that he’d pretended to be asleep while he’d quite clearly been listening to a private phone call. Whatever way you wanted to spin it, he’d taken advantage of our personal relationship and jeopardised my job in the process. But really, I was even angrier at myself, because I’d jeopardised it too just by being with him. I was also dumb enough to think I could trust him.
Whatever happened to the woman who’d said she’d never let herself say yes to Lee Cross?
She forgot to use her brain, that’s what. The more minutes that passed, the angrier I became. At some point I saw Jennings stride out of the garage, a face like thunder, and several members of the search team left with her. Only a few remained, and I took the opportunity to go and find Lee. He was standing in a back corridor of the building, one side of which led to a break room and the other to a bathroom. He had his back to me as he and Stu spoke in hushed tones. Looking behind me to make sure none of my colleagues were nearby, I grabbed Lee’s arm and yanked him inside the bathroom before he could react.
“Hey!” Stu yelled as I slammed the door shut and flicked over the lock.
“What the fuck?” Lee swore, his expression furious.
I took a step toward him. “Don’t look at me like that. I know what you did.”
He cocked an eyebrow and splayed his arms out. “Oh, yeah, and what’s that?”
“You took advantage of me, that’s what. You weren’t asleep this morning when Tony called, were you? You bloody well heard everything.”
Lee didn’t answer, just stared at me stonily. I let out a crazed laugh and placed my hands on my hips as I peered up at the ceiling. “God, how could I have been so stupid?” Suddenly, hurt began to mix in with my anger, a sharp pang shooting through my chest. “You and your brothers have probably been laughing at me all this time, laughing at the dumb cop who couldn’t see through your act.”
“You’re wrong,” Lee said firmly.
“Oh, yeah? Explain it, then.”
His expression softened by the tiniest fraction as he stepped closer. “I can’t do this right now, Karla. I’ll come over to yours later and we’ll talk, okay?”
His response made my temper flare as I pressed both hands to his chest and pushed him back. “You’ll do no such thing. I don’t want to see you after this, not ever. You’re just a little boy playing around with fire, only I’m the one who got burned.”
Before I could pull away, Lee caught my wrists, yanking my body to his as he glared down at me. “I was never a boy, not in this life. Even when I was a kid, I didn’t feel like one, so don’t give me that. And do you know how much I was willing you to say something this morning? Anything. But you didn’t breathe a word. Not one fucking word. I should’ve known you didn’t really give a shit about me after what happened with Liam. But no, I didn’t listen to my gut, I just let my cock lead me, thinking you were perfect. That makes me the stupid one, not you.”
His words cut me deep and I pulled at his grip, but he held me too tightly and I couldn’t break free. “Don’t you dare try turning this around.”
“Why not?” he asked, his warm breath hitting my cheeks. “Yes, I listened to your phone call, but you were going to let me walk out of your flat completely oblivious to the fact that I was about to be fucked over. You know this isn’t the life I’d choose if there’d been another option, yet you were going to let me go to prison, Karla. Let that sink in for a minute. It killed me when you didn’t say anything, and I waited. I gave you every opportunity.”
The hurt in his eyes was plain as day, and the wind went right out of my sails. “I wanted to tell you,” I whispered. “But I just…I just couldn’t.”
“Of course you couldn’t, because you care more about being a cop and saving all the people you perceive as innocent than you’ll ever care about me. You’ll never see that the world isn’t all black and white.” Anger and anguish mixed in his voice as it cracked around the edges, catching. “Sometimes the innocent ones are guilty only because the world didn’t give them a chance to stay innocent. Maybe I’m the one you should think about saving.”
