Hearts of Blue
Page 75
“No!” I exclaimed. “Of course not.” A pause. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in love.”
He was quiet for a long minute, and I could tell that his temper was dying down a little as he contemplated things. His voice turned softer. “Look, I get it, believe me, I do. The bloke is charismatic, and, from speaking with him in the interview room, I get the sense he’s out to set his own version of justice on the world. There’s an appeal to that, and in a certain way I can respect it. But when it comes down to brass tacks, that boy lives in a different world from us, Karla, with an entirely different set of rules.”
“I know that, but it’s not been easy for him. He practically raised his brothers all by himself. That family had nothing. If either one of us were born into that, we’d be living by a different set of rules, too.”
Tony stared at me sadly, his breath leaving in a heavy rush. “You do love him.”
I focused on my lap. “Maybe.”
He reached over and took my hand in his. “Listen, I have your best interests at heart. You’re young. I look at you like I would one of my own daughters, so when I say this, it’s with the utmost care. You need to step away and put this in the past. There’ll be other men, ones who don’t hold the ability to wreck your life, your career. You’ll just have to go through the heartache before you can come out the other side.”
I stared at the hand he was holding, completely deflated. Tony was talking sense, and I knew he’d never give me bad advice. He cared about me, and he was right. I had to be the strong woman I always claimed to be and stop seeing Lee for good.
“Are you going to report me to Jennings?” I whispered into the quiet of the car.
Tony let out a gruff breath. “If you promise to end it, then no. I’ll forget this night ever happened.”
“Thank you,” I said, looking him in the eye, and I meant it. This was my final chance, and I had no intention of screwing it up.
***
The following day I was off work. It was late evening and starting to get dark, and I was on my way back from the corner shop, where I’d gone to pick up a few things. I was walking alongside a row of storage compartments, where some of the locals kept their cars and household tools. There were lots of them around London, because most people lived in flats and didn’t have anywhere to keep extras like ladders and lawnmowers. I kept thinking I could hear feet pounding from above my head, but maybe I was imagining things. Why would anybody be running along the roofs?
Reaching the break between one row and the next, I looked up just in time to see Lee leap through the air, bridging the six-foot gap and making a perfect landing on the next row of compartments. For a second I stood there in awe. The sight was just so completely unexpected, and something about the way he moved niggled at my memory, like an odd sense of déjà vu.
“What are you doing up there?” I called, stopping in my tracks to peer up at him.
When he saw I’d spotted him, he stopped, shooting me a cheeky grin before backing up a few steps, then taking a run and jump to the ground. Whoa. He crouched when he landed, and I couldn’t hide that I was impressed.
“I thought it was only Trevor and Liam who did…all that stuff.” I motioned with my hands, pretending like I hadn’t known.
Lee rose to standing, the grin still on his face as he dusted himself off. “Who d’ya think taught them?”
“Oh,” I breathed, unsure what else to say. I wanted to ask him where he learned, if he ever got scared that he might fall and really hurt himself, but I didn’t. Now wasn’t the time. “What are you doing here?”
“Came to see you, like I said I would,” he replied, stepping forward and taking my hand, his fingers intertwining effortlessly with mine. He was already tugging me forward, relieving me of my shopping bag before I could try to stop him.
“Let go, Lee.”
He glanced at me over his shoulder. “Just give me half an hour, okay? Then I’ll leave.”
Knowing he wasn’t going to take no for an answer, I allowed him to lead me inside the block of flats opposite mine. We climbed almost fifteen flights of stairs before we reached an emergency exit and Lee pushed it open, leading me onto the roof of the building. I pulled my hand from his, not too thrilled to be up so high. I didn’t have a fear of heights, but there wasn’t any proper sort of railing around the edge of the roof, which would make anyone a tad nervous.
Folding my arms across my chest, I shot him a wry look. “You’re not going to try to push me to my death, are you?”
Lee smirked and came to pull me forward once more. I noticed somebody had left an old couch up here, and there were a bunch of cigarette butts on the ground alongside a few empty beer cans. Lee plopped down onto the couch, but I resisted when he tried to pull me down with him.
“I’m not sitting on that.”
Without a word he stood, unzipped his jacket and laid it down for me, leaving him in only a grey long-sleeved T-shirt. Finally, I sat, inhaling his scent on the fabric almost against my own will.
“Well, this is romantic,” I said, heavy on the sarcasm. We were both staring at the view beyond us. It was twilight, not quite day, not quite night, and there were rooftops and buildings as far as the eye could see. Smog hung thick in the sky, another day in the city drawing to a close.
“Glad you approve,” Lee replied. “So, how’d the old guy take it last night?”
He was quiet for a long minute, and I could tell that his temper was dying down a little as he contemplated things. His voice turned softer. “Look, I get it, believe me, I do. The bloke is charismatic, and, from speaking with him in the interview room, I get the sense he’s out to set his own version of justice on the world. There’s an appeal to that, and in a certain way I can respect it. But when it comes down to brass tacks, that boy lives in a different world from us, Karla, with an entirely different set of rules.”
“I know that, but it’s not been easy for him. He practically raised his brothers all by himself. That family had nothing. If either one of us were born into that, we’d be living by a different set of rules, too.”
Tony stared at me sadly, his breath leaving in a heavy rush. “You do love him.”
I focused on my lap. “Maybe.”
He reached over and took my hand in his. “Listen, I have your best interests at heart. You’re young. I look at you like I would one of my own daughters, so when I say this, it’s with the utmost care. You need to step away and put this in the past. There’ll be other men, ones who don’t hold the ability to wreck your life, your career. You’ll just have to go through the heartache before you can come out the other side.”
I stared at the hand he was holding, completely deflated. Tony was talking sense, and I knew he’d never give me bad advice. He cared about me, and he was right. I had to be the strong woman I always claimed to be and stop seeing Lee for good.
“Are you going to report me to Jennings?” I whispered into the quiet of the car.
Tony let out a gruff breath. “If you promise to end it, then no. I’ll forget this night ever happened.”
“Thank you,” I said, looking him in the eye, and I meant it. This was my final chance, and I had no intention of screwing it up.
***
The following day I was off work. It was late evening and starting to get dark, and I was on my way back from the corner shop, where I’d gone to pick up a few things. I was walking alongside a row of storage compartments, where some of the locals kept their cars and household tools. There were lots of them around London, because most people lived in flats and didn’t have anywhere to keep extras like ladders and lawnmowers. I kept thinking I could hear feet pounding from above my head, but maybe I was imagining things. Why would anybody be running along the roofs?
Reaching the break between one row and the next, I looked up just in time to see Lee leap through the air, bridging the six-foot gap and making a perfect landing on the next row of compartments. For a second I stood there in awe. The sight was just so completely unexpected, and something about the way he moved niggled at my memory, like an odd sense of déjà vu.
“What are you doing up there?” I called, stopping in my tracks to peer up at him.
When he saw I’d spotted him, he stopped, shooting me a cheeky grin before backing up a few steps, then taking a run and jump to the ground. Whoa. He crouched when he landed, and I couldn’t hide that I was impressed.
“I thought it was only Trevor and Liam who did…all that stuff.” I motioned with my hands, pretending like I hadn’t known.
Lee rose to standing, the grin still on his face as he dusted himself off. “Who d’ya think taught them?”
“Oh,” I breathed, unsure what else to say. I wanted to ask him where he learned, if he ever got scared that he might fall and really hurt himself, but I didn’t. Now wasn’t the time. “What are you doing here?”
“Came to see you, like I said I would,” he replied, stepping forward and taking my hand, his fingers intertwining effortlessly with mine. He was already tugging me forward, relieving me of my shopping bag before I could try to stop him.
“Let go, Lee.”
He glanced at me over his shoulder. “Just give me half an hour, okay? Then I’ll leave.”
Knowing he wasn’t going to take no for an answer, I allowed him to lead me inside the block of flats opposite mine. We climbed almost fifteen flights of stairs before we reached an emergency exit and Lee pushed it open, leading me onto the roof of the building. I pulled my hand from his, not too thrilled to be up so high. I didn’t have a fear of heights, but there wasn’t any proper sort of railing around the edge of the roof, which would make anyone a tad nervous.
Folding my arms across my chest, I shot him a wry look. “You’re not going to try to push me to my death, are you?”
Lee smirked and came to pull me forward once more. I noticed somebody had left an old couch up here, and there were a bunch of cigarette butts on the ground alongside a few empty beer cans. Lee plopped down onto the couch, but I resisted when he tried to pull me down with him.
“I’m not sitting on that.”
Without a word he stood, unzipped his jacket and laid it down for me, leaving him in only a grey long-sleeved T-shirt. Finally, I sat, inhaling his scent on the fabric almost against my own will.
“Well, this is romantic,” I said, heavy on the sarcasm. We were both staring at the view beyond us. It was twilight, not quite day, not quite night, and there were rooftops and buildings as far as the eye could see. Smog hung thick in the sky, another day in the city drawing to a close.
“Glad you approve,” Lee replied. “So, how’d the old guy take it last night?”
