Hearts on Air
Page 16
My thighs clenched instinctively at his carnal promise. Him speaking to me so explicitly was very new, and it had a heady effect. I was under his spell, so much so I didn’t even bother looking around to see if anyone was eavesdropping.
“Do it then,” I goaded, staring him dead in the eyes.
His hands wandered lower, dipping beneath the hem of my mini-dress to dance along my thighs. I swallowed tightly, arousal swarming me, and dared him with my gaze. He accepted the challenge and a second later his fingers were inside my underwear, trailing along my wetness.
“Christ.” Trev dropped his face to the crook of my neck. “You’re not going to remember your own name once I’m done with you,” he warned and then his hand was gone. He fixed my dress back into place before anyone noticed and took a step away. “Give me thirty minutes to finish schmoozing then we’ll head to yours, yeah?” His voice was husky.
I blushed and looked at him from beneath my lashes. “Okay.”
“I want to kiss you so badly, but I know if I do I won’t stop,” he said, stepping away all the while. I nodded and he slipped back inside the club. I slumped down onto a bench and accepted a cigarette from one of the other partygoers. I wasn’t a smoker, but I lit up anyway. I needed something to take the edge off my arousal. Though why I thought nicotine had that ability, I couldn’t tell you.
Thirty minutes passed but Trev didn’t resurface. After more than an hour I wandered around the club searching for him. I eventually found him at a booth surrounded by fancily dressed people. TV people, therefore strangers to me. But new admirers to him. When I managed to catch Trev’s eye he at least had the decency to look apologetic.
I’d sobered up a bit and was feeling tired, so I pulled out my phone and shot off a text.
Reya: Let’s take a rain check, okay? I’ll come see you tomorrow. Gonna head home now.
I was already in a taxi by the time he texted back.
Trevor: I’m so fucking sorry, Reyrey. I’ll make this up to you. I mean it.
I didn’t bother replying because I knew he was swamped. I’d see him tomorrow and everything would be different.
Yes, tomorrow everything would be . . . different.
Three.
“If I could go back, there’s so much I’d change.”
We were just down the street from my flat. I should tell Trev goodbye, say it was nice to see him, even though it had been anything but. It was confusing and painful, and most concerning, thrilling.
“You don’t need to say that. Whatever happened was meant to be. We were never supposed to work out, and that’s all there is to it,” I said and watched his features turn to stone. He looked like he didn’t agree and his jaw ticked.
I started to walk again and he followed. We’d just reached my building when he asked, “Have you been seeing anyone?”
The question made my heart burn and my palms grow sweaty. “There was someone but . . .”
His head tilted eagerly. “But?”
“He ended it,” I answered, not bothering to lie.
“Dumb bastard.”
I laughed softly. “He was actually pretty clever, worked as an archivist in Westminster.”
“Smart people can be dumb, too, you know,” said Trev.
I put my hand on the gate and bent my neck to look at him. “True, but that wasn’t the case with David. He was clever in every way. I just couldn’t seem to give him what he wanted.” I trailed off because I was revealing far too much. What are you doing, Reya?
“What did he want?” Trev seemed fascinated.
“What do we all want?” I asked back. “Love.”
“You didn’t love him?”
I shook my head. “I wanted to.”
“Did he love you?”
“He said he did, but I dunno. It never really felt right with him.” I sighed and opened my gate. I needed to end this conversation. “Back to the drawing board I guess. It was good seeing you today. I hope everything goes well with the filming.”
“Saying goodbye already?”
Turning back, I recognised that old glint in his eye. Sometimes I wondered if he even realised he was using it. It was the one that always got him whatever he wanted, but it wouldn’t work on me. Not today. Not anymore.
“I’m afraid so. I have a lesson in an hour and there’s a stack of laundry I need to deal with before I go.”
Trev stared me down as though trying to figure out if I was lying. I wasn’t, but even if I had a free day ahead of me I wouldn’t have invited him in. My flat was tiny and being in such a tight space would only heighten the unwelcome feelings I was having. He studied me for so long I thought he might’ve been magically frozen in place.
He swallowed and glanced away for a second. Several thoughts passed over his face before he spoke. “Okay, can we arrange to meet up tomorrow then?”
I arched an eyebrow. “Why?”
His expression was very open. “Because I’d like to see you again.”
I studied him, trying to figure out what his game was. If there was a game at all. Maybe he really did just want to see me. He had always enjoyed my company, after all, and vice versa. Still, I swallowed and met his gaze as I replied steadily, “I’m busy tomorrow, too.”
There was brief flash of unhappiness in his eyes at my answer. A conflict warred just beneath the surface, and I got the sense he was going to argue with me. But then, as though he’d mentally tamped down the urge, he said, “All right, well, maybe I’ll catch you around.”
I nodded and turned to walk inside. His words stopped me.
“You look beautiful, by the way.”
I didn’t move.
“I’ve been wanting to say that since I saw you at the restaurant.”
I still didn’t move or turn to face him and he let out a long sigh. “I guess I deserve this.”
I couldn’t take any more so I simply slotted my key in the door. It wasn’t until I was safe inside my flat that I let myself cry. My skin felt cold and hot all at once, and my pores beaded with goose pimples. I ached. I realised with stark clarity how much I still felt for him. This was bad. It was worse than bad. It was dangerous. Because if he pushed even a tiny bit more, my defences would crack. He’d manoeuvre his way back into my life, and I’d repeat the cycle of falling for him and being devastated all over again.
“Do it then,” I goaded, staring him dead in the eyes.
His hands wandered lower, dipping beneath the hem of my mini-dress to dance along my thighs. I swallowed tightly, arousal swarming me, and dared him with my gaze. He accepted the challenge and a second later his fingers were inside my underwear, trailing along my wetness.
“Christ.” Trev dropped his face to the crook of my neck. “You’re not going to remember your own name once I’m done with you,” he warned and then his hand was gone. He fixed my dress back into place before anyone noticed and took a step away. “Give me thirty minutes to finish schmoozing then we’ll head to yours, yeah?” His voice was husky.
I blushed and looked at him from beneath my lashes. “Okay.”
“I want to kiss you so badly, but I know if I do I won’t stop,” he said, stepping away all the while. I nodded and he slipped back inside the club. I slumped down onto a bench and accepted a cigarette from one of the other partygoers. I wasn’t a smoker, but I lit up anyway. I needed something to take the edge off my arousal. Though why I thought nicotine had that ability, I couldn’t tell you.
Thirty minutes passed but Trev didn’t resurface. After more than an hour I wandered around the club searching for him. I eventually found him at a booth surrounded by fancily dressed people. TV people, therefore strangers to me. But new admirers to him. When I managed to catch Trev’s eye he at least had the decency to look apologetic.
I’d sobered up a bit and was feeling tired, so I pulled out my phone and shot off a text.
Reya: Let’s take a rain check, okay? I’ll come see you tomorrow. Gonna head home now.
I was already in a taxi by the time he texted back.
Trevor: I’m so fucking sorry, Reyrey. I’ll make this up to you. I mean it.
I didn’t bother replying because I knew he was swamped. I’d see him tomorrow and everything would be different.
Yes, tomorrow everything would be . . . different.
Three.
“If I could go back, there’s so much I’d change.”
We were just down the street from my flat. I should tell Trev goodbye, say it was nice to see him, even though it had been anything but. It was confusing and painful, and most concerning, thrilling.
“You don’t need to say that. Whatever happened was meant to be. We were never supposed to work out, and that’s all there is to it,” I said and watched his features turn to stone. He looked like he didn’t agree and his jaw ticked.
I started to walk again and he followed. We’d just reached my building when he asked, “Have you been seeing anyone?”
The question made my heart burn and my palms grow sweaty. “There was someone but . . .”
His head tilted eagerly. “But?”
“He ended it,” I answered, not bothering to lie.
“Dumb bastard.”
I laughed softly. “He was actually pretty clever, worked as an archivist in Westminster.”
“Smart people can be dumb, too, you know,” said Trev.
I put my hand on the gate and bent my neck to look at him. “True, but that wasn’t the case with David. He was clever in every way. I just couldn’t seem to give him what he wanted.” I trailed off because I was revealing far too much. What are you doing, Reya?
“What did he want?” Trev seemed fascinated.
“What do we all want?” I asked back. “Love.”
“You didn’t love him?”
I shook my head. “I wanted to.”
“Did he love you?”
“He said he did, but I dunno. It never really felt right with him.” I sighed and opened my gate. I needed to end this conversation. “Back to the drawing board I guess. It was good seeing you today. I hope everything goes well with the filming.”
“Saying goodbye already?”
Turning back, I recognised that old glint in his eye. Sometimes I wondered if he even realised he was using it. It was the one that always got him whatever he wanted, but it wouldn’t work on me. Not today. Not anymore.
“I’m afraid so. I have a lesson in an hour and there’s a stack of laundry I need to deal with before I go.”
Trev stared me down as though trying to figure out if I was lying. I wasn’t, but even if I had a free day ahead of me I wouldn’t have invited him in. My flat was tiny and being in such a tight space would only heighten the unwelcome feelings I was having. He studied me for so long I thought he might’ve been magically frozen in place.
He swallowed and glanced away for a second. Several thoughts passed over his face before he spoke. “Okay, can we arrange to meet up tomorrow then?”
I arched an eyebrow. “Why?”
His expression was very open. “Because I’d like to see you again.”
I studied him, trying to figure out what his game was. If there was a game at all. Maybe he really did just want to see me. He had always enjoyed my company, after all, and vice versa. Still, I swallowed and met his gaze as I replied steadily, “I’m busy tomorrow, too.”
There was brief flash of unhappiness in his eyes at my answer. A conflict warred just beneath the surface, and I got the sense he was going to argue with me. But then, as though he’d mentally tamped down the urge, he said, “All right, well, maybe I’ll catch you around.”
I nodded and turned to walk inside. His words stopped me.
“You look beautiful, by the way.”
I didn’t move.
“I’ve been wanting to say that since I saw you at the restaurant.”
I still didn’t move or turn to face him and he let out a long sigh. “I guess I deserve this.”
I couldn’t take any more so I simply slotted my key in the door. It wasn’t until I was safe inside my flat that I let myself cry. My skin felt cold and hot all at once, and my pores beaded with goose pimples. I ached. I realised with stark clarity how much I still felt for him. This was bad. It was worse than bad. It was dangerous. Because if he pushed even a tiny bit more, my defences would crack. He’d manoeuvre his way back into my life, and I’d repeat the cycle of falling for him and being devastated all over again.
