Hearts on Air
Page 4
My wandering thoughts caused a flush to break out across my chest and my thighs quivered. I really needed to get laid. The last time I had sex was almost five months ago, and it hadn’t even been with a boyfriend. It had been a tawdry one night stand with a guy I met after one of my gigs, and he’d looked disturbingly like Trevor. The realisation embarrassed me right down to my toes, because I knew he’d have a field day if he ever found out.
Trev slipped his phone back in his pocket. “Lee and Karla are such a pair of smarmy bastards,” he tutted.
I turned my head to him. “Huh?”
He sighed. “They’ve been posting endless pics of their holiday over in Portugal. All loved up. Makes me sick.”
“Somebody sounds bitter. Has there been some sort of blip in the love life of Trevor Cross, mayhap?”
“No, there hasn’t. Just don’t need it rubbed in my face twenty-four-seven.”
“Oh my God, you are bitter. Does it bother you that your brothers are all settling down? Lee’s got Karla, Stu’s got Andie, hell, even Liam’s started seeing some girl he seems pretty serious about. Maybe you should think about finding someone you actually want to spend time with outside of having sex,” I hinted.
“Why would I do that when I’ve got you?” he asked, like it was a perfectly reasonable question. It was in this moment that I really wished I could see his facial expression, because I couldn’t tell if he was being serious.
I scoffed. “I hope that’s a joke.”
“And what if it isn’t?” he challenged. God, he was serious.
“Well, for one I’m not going to be around forever. Someday I’m going to meet a man and fall in love, get married, have kids. I won’t be available for you to just come see whenever the mood takes you.”
“And why not? Let’s just say you do get married, which by the way, isn’t likely, I’ll still be your friend. We should still be able to hang out.”
I gaped at him, even though he couldn’t see me, hung up on the “isn’t likely” bit of what he just said. “Why isn’t it likely?”
Trev sighed. “In the past two years I’ve only ever seen you with one boyfriend, Charles or whatever his name was.”
“Charlie,” I corrected, voice tight.
“Yeah, Charlie. And he didn’t last very long. Anyway, you seem happier single. That’s why we get along so well. We’re alike.”
“We’re not alike at all. And I’m not happier single, very few people are. Nobody wants to be alone for the rest of their lives,” I bit out, upset with him.
“Reya…”
“No, fuck you, Trev. You can be such a fucking arsehole sometimes,” I said and stood from the table, bumping my knee in the process. Stupid bloody dining in the dark. What a ridiculous idea. I fumbled through the restaurant, but it took me forever to find my way out. When I finally got outside I inhaled a deep breath, still riled by Trev’s insinuation that I was going to be single forever. What a dickhead.
I wasn’t sure why my emotions were so close to the surface today, because I never usually lost my temper with him, and there were times when he really tried my patience. I guess it was because of how affectionate he was being, touching me, licking the dessert from my chin. It gave me momentary ideas I had no business entertaining.
The door swung open and Trev emerged. He glanced from left to right before he spotted me. Then he shoved his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I was an arsehole. Please don’t hate me.”
I blew out a breath. “I don’t hate you. What you said just rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, you probably don’t understand because you always have your family around, but life can be very lonely for me sometimes. I’m not close to my family like you are, and when I go home at the end of the day I don’t have a bunch of brothers to keep me company. The idea that that’s all I’ll ever have is depressing, so it pissed me off when you basically condemned me to a life of spinsterhood.”
Trev’s brows drew together, casting an intense look over his features. Then he ran a hand over his face and swore. “Fuck.”
I grew self-conscious and wanted to change the subject. “Look, don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. Just…try and think before you speak in future.”
Trev took a step toward me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “No, you have every right to be upset. That was a shitty thing to say, but I didn’t realise you were lonely. You always seem so…together. Happy.”
“I am happy, and I like my life, but I’d like it even better if I had someone to share it with.” I stared at the ground now, unable to look him in the eye.
“You will one day, I promise. But in the meantime, I don’t like thinking of you all sad and lonely in your little flat. If you ever feel that way, just come stay with me for a couple days. There’s more space at ours now that Stu’s moved out, and everybody loves having you around.”
“Okay,” I whispered as he continued massaging my shoulders.
“Reya, look at me.”
I glanced up. “What?”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Shut up.”
“No, I’m being serious. You are. Any man in his right mind would give his left nut to be with you.”
Not you, though, my brain piped in. Shut up, brain!
“And you’re talented. And funny. And just plain lovely to be around. And the first time I heard you sing I swear I got a stiffy.”
I hit him on the chest. “You did not.”
“I did. Ask Karla. She was there. I think I might’ve scarred her for life.”
I laughed and he pulled me into a hug. I sank into his embrace, savouring it, because so few people hugged me these days. When I was little, my mum used to hug me all the time, but not anymore.
“Seriously though, you’re amazing, so don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Not even dumb fucks like me who are supposed to be your best friend,” he said, his mouth on my hair. I took the opportunity to breathe in his smell. I’d never admit it to anyone, but it was my favourite.
“Okay, I believe you,” I said and we pulled apart.
Trev grinned. “About being amazing or my unfortunate public erection?”
Trev slipped his phone back in his pocket. “Lee and Karla are such a pair of smarmy bastards,” he tutted.
I turned my head to him. “Huh?”
He sighed. “They’ve been posting endless pics of their holiday over in Portugal. All loved up. Makes me sick.”
“Somebody sounds bitter. Has there been some sort of blip in the love life of Trevor Cross, mayhap?”
“No, there hasn’t. Just don’t need it rubbed in my face twenty-four-seven.”
“Oh my God, you are bitter. Does it bother you that your brothers are all settling down? Lee’s got Karla, Stu’s got Andie, hell, even Liam’s started seeing some girl he seems pretty serious about. Maybe you should think about finding someone you actually want to spend time with outside of having sex,” I hinted.
“Why would I do that when I’ve got you?” he asked, like it was a perfectly reasonable question. It was in this moment that I really wished I could see his facial expression, because I couldn’t tell if he was being serious.
I scoffed. “I hope that’s a joke.”
“And what if it isn’t?” he challenged. God, he was serious.
“Well, for one I’m not going to be around forever. Someday I’m going to meet a man and fall in love, get married, have kids. I won’t be available for you to just come see whenever the mood takes you.”
“And why not? Let’s just say you do get married, which by the way, isn’t likely, I’ll still be your friend. We should still be able to hang out.”
I gaped at him, even though he couldn’t see me, hung up on the “isn’t likely” bit of what he just said. “Why isn’t it likely?”
Trev sighed. “In the past two years I’ve only ever seen you with one boyfriend, Charles or whatever his name was.”
“Charlie,” I corrected, voice tight.
“Yeah, Charlie. And he didn’t last very long. Anyway, you seem happier single. That’s why we get along so well. We’re alike.”
“We’re not alike at all. And I’m not happier single, very few people are. Nobody wants to be alone for the rest of their lives,” I bit out, upset with him.
“Reya…”
“No, fuck you, Trev. You can be such a fucking arsehole sometimes,” I said and stood from the table, bumping my knee in the process. Stupid bloody dining in the dark. What a ridiculous idea. I fumbled through the restaurant, but it took me forever to find my way out. When I finally got outside I inhaled a deep breath, still riled by Trev’s insinuation that I was going to be single forever. What a dickhead.
I wasn’t sure why my emotions were so close to the surface today, because I never usually lost my temper with him, and there were times when he really tried my patience. I guess it was because of how affectionate he was being, touching me, licking the dessert from my chin. It gave me momentary ideas I had no business entertaining.
The door swung open and Trev emerged. He glanced from left to right before he spotted me. Then he shoved his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I was an arsehole. Please don’t hate me.”
I blew out a breath. “I don’t hate you. What you said just rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, you probably don’t understand because you always have your family around, but life can be very lonely for me sometimes. I’m not close to my family like you are, and when I go home at the end of the day I don’t have a bunch of brothers to keep me company. The idea that that’s all I’ll ever have is depressing, so it pissed me off when you basically condemned me to a life of spinsterhood.”
Trev’s brows drew together, casting an intense look over his features. Then he ran a hand over his face and swore. “Fuck.”
I grew self-conscious and wanted to change the subject. “Look, don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. Just…try and think before you speak in future.”
Trev took a step toward me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “No, you have every right to be upset. That was a shitty thing to say, but I didn’t realise you were lonely. You always seem so…together. Happy.”
“I am happy, and I like my life, but I’d like it even better if I had someone to share it with.” I stared at the ground now, unable to look him in the eye.
“You will one day, I promise. But in the meantime, I don’t like thinking of you all sad and lonely in your little flat. If you ever feel that way, just come stay with me for a couple days. There’s more space at ours now that Stu’s moved out, and everybody loves having you around.”
“Okay,” I whispered as he continued massaging my shoulders.
“Reya, look at me.”
I glanced up. “What?”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Shut up.”
“No, I’m being serious. You are. Any man in his right mind would give his left nut to be with you.”
Not you, though, my brain piped in. Shut up, brain!
“And you’re talented. And funny. And just plain lovely to be around. And the first time I heard you sing I swear I got a stiffy.”
I hit him on the chest. “You did not.”
“I did. Ask Karla. She was there. I think I might’ve scarred her for life.”
I laughed and he pulled me into a hug. I sank into his embrace, savouring it, because so few people hugged me these days. When I was little, my mum used to hug me all the time, but not anymore.
“Seriously though, you’re amazing, so don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Not even dumb fucks like me who are supposed to be your best friend,” he said, his mouth on my hair. I took the opportunity to breathe in his smell. I’d never admit it to anyone, but it was my favourite.
“Okay, I believe you,” I said and we pulled apart.
Trev grinned. “About being amazing or my unfortunate public erection?”
