Hearts on Air
Page 50
“That’s because it’s true,” he replied and pulled me up to stand. He led me the few steps it took to reach my bed, then guided me down onto the mattress. “I’m gonna make you forget all the hurt, just for a little while,” he murmured, reaching for the button at the waist of my jeans.
My breathing grew choppy as I watched his gaze darken. I lay still while he dragged my jeans down over my hips until they were completely off. Next he tugged off my underwear, doing away with all my clothes until I was fully naked. He was still dressed, his attention moving from my face to my breasts and then down between my thighs. My throat ran dry with anticipation when he crawled between my legs, spreading my thighs wide to fit around his shoulders.
“Let’s see how you taste,” he murmured seductively and brought his mouth to my sex. I gasped when his hot, wet tongue licked my clit. I dug my feet into the mattress and arched my spine. He ate at me deeper, until my every pore came alive. That was helping me forget the pain, because right then all I felt was pleasure. His presence was a drug in itself, but doing this to me made me forget my ever-loving mind.
I cried out when he slid two fingers inside, their rhythm matching the licks and sucks of his mouth.
“Come,” he urged on a groan, the sound of his voice vibrating through me.
I moaned and arched my spine even more. I could feel my orgasm building like a coiled spring inside me. Trev brought his warm hand to my lower stomach and there was something about the touch that set me off. I came with a loud expletive, my gaze meeting his as he drew out the waves of my pleasure.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he said and climbed up my body to capture my mouth in a kiss. I could taste myself on him and our kiss went on forever. I grew aroused again and began tugging at his clothes. I needed him inside me.
“Take these off,” I whispered and felt him shake his head.
“I really want to,” he huffed. “But I can’t. I have to get back on set, otherwise our director is gonna string me up by the testicles.”
“Didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving?” I asked, breathless. Disappointment filled me. I’d hoped I’d at least get him for the night. Just one night.
“No. I got Alexis’s call and I had to come find you.”
Now I understood why he’d kept all his clothes on. I felt uneasy thinking that I’d only had half of him here with me, the other half was back on set. I thought his full attention was on me for once, but it wasn’t.
“Oh,” I muttered, shifting away from him. I pulled the blanket around myself to cover up and curled into the foetal position. Every part of me felt raw and bruised after seeing Paula and Mum, but now it felt like someone had taken sandpaper and rubbed it over the wounds. Why couldn’t I ever be the main priority in someone’s life? Was it selfish to want to be number one to just one person?
Maybe it was. Maybe I should just settle for these scraps. Maybe that was all I was worth in the end. After all, if my own family could side with an acquaintance over their own flesh and blood, then perhaps I wasn’t really worth much at all. It felt as if two of the most important people in my life had cast me aside. I wasn’t worthy of their time, or their love.
I wasn’t worthy.
Tears rose to the surface again, but I didn’t heave or sob. I just let them slide soundlessly down my cheeks to land on the pillow. I was grateful to be facing away from Trev, so he couldn’t see the hurt he caused me. Yes, he’d come to find me. But I didn’t need an orgasm. I just needed to be wanted. To be loved. Held . . . Enough.
My head was so messed up that I honestly couldn’t tell if my pain was warranted or if I was overreacting because of the day’s earlier events.
Careful to keep my voice normal, I said, “You should probably get back. Thanks for coming over. I feel so much better now.” It was a lie, of course, but there was no sense telling him the truth. He didn’t have time for the truth. The truth would mean staying with me when he had a job to get back to.
He was quiet for a long moment, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. In the end he bent and pressed a soft kiss to my shoulder. “I’ll come see you this weekend, okay? I promise.”
I bobbed my head, still not looking at him. “Okay, see you then.”
“I love you, Reyrey,” he whispered, but I didn’t respond. If I said anything else he’d hear the tears in my voice.
After a tension-filled moment of quiet, the door opened and shut and then I was on my own again. At least there was one thing that never let me down.
Loneliness.
Sixteen.
The sky was darkening by the time we arrived in Paris. Just a short two-hour journey and we were in a whole other country. It was crazy. I sat next to Isaac for the trip, mainly because I saw the look of fear in his eyes and thought he could use the company. Don’t get me wrong, I knew he was excited to be there, but he was also a fish out of water, much like I had been on the first day. He was constantly staring wide-eyed at everyone, like he couldn’t believe this was really happening.
“You’ll be staying with the film crew,” Neil told him as we all got into minibuses to head to our accommodation. “So you need to get on the last bus.”
“All right. Got it.” Isaac nodded before glancing at me.
“Are you going to be okay?” I asked, worried he might be feeling a bit intimidated.
“I grew up in a township, Reya. I think I’ll survive bedding down with the camera crew for a couple of weeks.”
“Just making sure.”
“You sound like my mum. She never stops fretting.”
“How did she take your leaving to come on the road?”
“She’s worried sick but it’s my choice. I’m nineteen.”
“Reya!” Trev called from where he stood by the open door of a waiting minibus. “Come on. We’re leaving.”
“I’ll be there in a second,” I called back and gave Isaac one last reassuring look. “If anyone gives you trouble, come find me, yeah?”
He gave me a look like I was being overprotective—and I was, considering we barely knew each other. I guess I felt responsible for him being here.
“I’ll be fine. Go,” he answered, shooing me away.
The apartment we were renting in Paris was only slightly bigger than the one in Brussels. I was sharing a room with Leanne again, but this time we had an en-suite. It was a relief after the encounter with Trev the night before. I wasn’t sure my willpower could take another bathroom mix-up.
My breathing grew choppy as I watched his gaze darken. I lay still while he dragged my jeans down over my hips until they were completely off. Next he tugged off my underwear, doing away with all my clothes until I was fully naked. He was still dressed, his attention moving from my face to my breasts and then down between my thighs. My throat ran dry with anticipation when he crawled between my legs, spreading my thighs wide to fit around his shoulders.
“Let’s see how you taste,” he murmured seductively and brought his mouth to my sex. I gasped when his hot, wet tongue licked my clit. I dug my feet into the mattress and arched my spine. He ate at me deeper, until my every pore came alive. That was helping me forget the pain, because right then all I felt was pleasure. His presence was a drug in itself, but doing this to me made me forget my ever-loving mind.
I cried out when he slid two fingers inside, their rhythm matching the licks and sucks of his mouth.
“Come,” he urged on a groan, the sound of his voice vibrating through me.
I moaned and arched my spine even more. I could feel my orgasm building like a coiled spring inside me. Trev brought his warm hand to my lower stomach and there was something about the touch that set me off. I came with a loud expletive, my gaze meeting his as he drew out the waves of my pleasure.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he said and climbed up my body to capture my mouth in a kiss. I could taste myself on him and our kiss went on forever. I grew aroused again and began tugging at his clothes. I needed him inside me.
“Take these off,” I whispered and felt him shake his head.
“I really want to,” he huffed. “But I can’t. I have to get back on set, otherwise our director is gonna string me up by the testicles.”
“Didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving?” I asked, breathless. Disappointment filled me. I’d hoped I’d at least get him for the night. Just one night.
“No. I got Alexis’s call and I had to come find you.”
Now I understood why he’d kept all his clothes on. I felt uneasy thinking that I’d only had half of him here with me, the other half was back on set. I thought his full attention was on me for once, but it wasn’t.
“Oh,” I muttered, shifting away from him. I pulled the blanket around myself to cover up and curled into the foetal position. Every part of me felt raw and bruised after seeing Paula and Mum, but now it felt like someone had taken sandpaper and rubbed it over the wounds. Why couldn’t I ever be the main priority in someone’s life? Was it selfish to want to be number one to just one person?
Maybe it was. Maybe I should just settle for these scraps. Maybe that was all I was worth in the end. After all, if my own family could side with an acquaintance over their own flesh and blood, then perhaps I wasn’t really worth much at all. It felt as if two of the most important people in my life had cast me aside. I wasn’t worthy of their time, or their love.
I wasn’t worthy.
Tears rose to the surface again, but I didn’t heave or sob. I just let them slide soundlessly down my cheeks to land on the pillow. I was grateful to be facing away from Trev, so he couldn’t see the hurt he caused me. Yes, he’d come to find me. But I didn’t need an orgasm. I just needed to be wanted. To be loved. Held . . . Enough.
My head was so messed up that I honestly couldn’t tell if my pain was warranted or if I was overreacting because of the day’s earlier events.
Careful to keep my voice normal, I said, “You should probably get back. Thanks for coming over. I feel so much better now.” It was a lie, of course, but there was no sense telling him the truth. He didn’t have time for the truth. The truth would mean staying with me when he had a job to get back to.
He was quiet for a long moment, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. In the end he bent and pressed a soft kiss to my shoulder. “I’ll come see you this weekend, okay? I promise.”
I bobbed my head, still not looking at him. “Okay, see you then.”
“I love you, Reyrey,” he whispered, but I didn’t respond. If I said anything else he’d hear the tears in my voice.
After a tension-filled moment of quiet, the door opened and shut and then I was on my own again. At least there was one thing that never let me down.
Loneliness.
Sixteen.
The sky was darkening by the time we arrived in Paris. Just a short two-hour journey and we were in a whole other country. It was crazy. I sat next to Isaac for the trip, mainly because I saw the look of fear in his eyes and thought he could use the company. Don’t get me wrong, I knew he was excited to be there, but he was also a fish out of water, much like I had been on the first day. He was constantly staring wide-eyed at everyone, like he couldn’t believe this was really happening.
“You’ll be staying with the film crew,” Neil told him as we all got into minibuses to head to our accommodation. “So you need to get on the last bus.”
“All right. Got it.” Isaac nodded before glancing at me.
“Are you going to be okay?” I asked, worried he might be feeling a bit intimidated.
“I grew up in a township, Reya. I think I’ll survive bedding down with the camera crew for a couple of weeks.”
“Just making sure.”
“You sound like my mum. She never stops fretting.”
“How did she take your leaving to come on the road?”
“She’s worried sick but it’s my choice. I’m nineteen.”
“Reya!” Trev called from where he stood by the open door of a waiting minibus. “Come on. We’re leaving.”
“I’ll be there in a second,” I called back and gave Isaac one last reassuring look. “If anyone gives you trouble, come find me, yeah?”
He gave me a look like I was being overprotective—and I was, considering we barely knew each other. I guess I felt responsible for him being here.
“I’ll be fine. Go,” he answered, shooing me away.
The apartment we were renting in Paris was only slightly bigger than the one in Brussels. I was sharing a room with Leanne again, but this time we had an en-suite. It was a relief after the encounter with Trev the night before. I wasn’t sure my willpower could take another bathroom mix-up.
