Hearts on Air
Page 88
His eyes flickered between mine, his features drawn in confusion, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But they were awful to you. You were so upset and it was all my fault—”
“Yes, I was upset, but the following day I had a phone call from Paula.”
Trev brows jumped high into his forehead. “Your sister?”
I nodded. “Everything’s been so busy that I haven’t had the chance to tell you. She wanted to apologise for not standing up for me. I invited her to come see me after my gig that night and she came. She brought Samuel, too.”
“And what happened?” Trev asked, his eyes alight with interest. This was what I’d missed in the years he’d been gone. Focused attention. No distractions prohibiting my best friend from listening.
“We talked. We talked for hours. And that never would’ve happened if it weren’t for you.”
His face transformed with a wide smile. “That’s fantastic, Reya. I’m so happy for you.”
I smiled right back. “Well, I have you to thank for it. Back when we first met, I used to think all you ever cared about was yourself, but that wasn’t true. Now I know you care about me, too. I know that when you say you love me it isn’t just empty words. You really mean them.”
He swore and squeezed my fingers tight. “Fucking hell, Reya, of course I bloody well mean them.”
I stared at him then, remembering the therapy session I overheard back in Paris. “You’ve always loved me, haven’t you?” I said, the full realisation dawning on me.
Trev gave me a curious look. “What do you mean?”
I glanced away, unsure how to explain. I worried if I told him I eavesdropped he might feel angry or violated, which he had every right to. Even though it gave me huge insight into his thoughts and feelings, I still knew I never should’ve listened.
I chewed on my lip as I brought my gaze to his. “I have a confession, and I completely understand if you get angry.”
His muscles tensed for a second, his expression apprehensive. “Why would I be angry?”
I tried to muster as much apology into my voice as I could manage. “First off, I’m sorry, I never should’ve done it, but when we were in Paris I overheard some of a Skype call you had with your doctor.”
I studied his face for a reaction, but he’d gone very still. “What did you hear?”
“I heard you talk about the reason you kept me in the friend zone for so long. You knew you couldn’t maintain a romantic relationship and you didn’t want to lose me so you made sure we stayed only friends.”
Trev’s eyes flickered back and forth between mine. I had no clue what he was thinking, but then he surprised me when he said, “So this is how you know I always loved you.”
“It makes sense.”
He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before cupping my jaw. The look he gave me was so hot it sent shivers down my spine. “You made me happy. And yes, the idea of losing you terrified me. Also, yes, I have always loved you. At least, it feels that way. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t. That seems like another life.”
I exhaled a long, shaky breath, my heart hammering as I asked, “So, you’re not angry?”
Trev’s gaze softened. “No, I hate to admit it, but I probably would’ve done the exact same thing. I always want to know what you’re thinking. If I could get even a tiny glimpse I’d take it in a heartbeat.”
“Man, I’m so glad I got that out. My guilt was twisting me upside,” I breathed.
Trev bent forward and whispered, his lips over mine. “If that’s the case I know a way you can alleviate some of that guilt.”
I smiled wide. “I’m all ears.”
Screw being walked in on. Maybe we did have time for sex after all.
I was a little dishevelled by the time the gang arrived to take us to the circus, but I managed to fix my hair and smooth out my clothes before we left. King’s sister’s circus was called The Circus Spektakulär and operated in a forested area just outside the city. It almost felt magical as we walked through the fairy-lit pathway that led to the tent, surrounded by tall trees and the night sky above. King greeted the girl on the ticket booth, whose name was Lola, and she appeared delighted to see him. I swear she would’ve pulled him through the window for a hug if it had been allowed.
The tent was packed and thanks to King’s connections we had fantastic ringside seats. Trev barely took his eyes off me the entire time and I couldn’t stop thinking about our quickie back at the apartment. Needing some sort of contact, I took his hand in mine and rested it on my thigh. His attention turned heated just as the house lights dimmed, signalling the start of the show.
We were treated to clowns and acrobats, lion tamers and stuntmen. I thought the Running on Air cast would fit right in with this lot, seeing as though they all shared a similar interest: risking their lives for the sake of their passion.
I bent close to Alexis, who was sitting on the other side of me, and asked, “Which ones are your friends?”
“King knows all of them, but one of his best friends is on next. He’s a fire breather,” she said, and winked with giddy excitement. “Just wait till you see.”
My brows shot up as King grumped, “I heard that.”
Alexis grinned happily. “I know you did.”
The ringmaster was King’s half-sister. It was bizarre because she was well into her sixties, with bright, dyed-red hair and a thick cockney accent. She was the last person I expected to be related to someone as urbane, well-spoken and obviously upper class as Oliver King.
“Damas y caballeros, I give you Jack McCabe,” she announced, and a slow rock song started to play. It had a thick, heavy bass line that seemed to compliment the tall, muscular man who stepped into the ring. He had long hair, eyes so dark you’d swear they could see right into your soul, and a body like an avenging angel. Now I understood Alexis’s giddy excitement. A chill came over me just looking at him.
He blew fire from his mouth like it was air. I trembled at the billowing flames and noticed the scarring that marred a portion of his shoulder and back. He held a torch in each hand, moving them dexterously around his body, making figure-eight shapes in the air. Next he drew the torch along his arm, creating a trail of flame on his skin. I swallowed and held Trev’s hand a little tighter.
“Yes, I was upset, but the following day I had a phone call from Paula.”
Trev brows jumped high into his forehead. “Your sister?”
I nodded. “Everything’s been so busy that I haven’t had the chance to tell you. She wanted to apologise for not standing up for me. I invited her to come see me after my gig that night and she came. She brought Samuel, too.”
“And what happened?” Trev asked, his eyes alight with interest. This was what I’d missed in the years he’d been gone. Focused attention. No distractions prohibiting my best friend from listening.
“We talked. We talked for hours. And that never would’ve happened if it weren’t for you.”
His face transformed with a wide smile. “That’s fantastic, Reya. I’m so happy for you.”
I smiled right back. “Well, I have you to thank for it. Back when we first met, I used to think all you ever cared about was yourself, but that wasn’t true. Now I know you care about me, too. I know that when you say you love me it isn’t just empty words. You really mean them.”
He swore and squeezed my fingers tight. “Fucking hell, Reya, of course I bloody well mean them.”
I stared at him then, remembering the therapy session I overheard back in Paris. “You’ve always loved me, haven’t you?” I said, the full realisation dawning on me.
Trev gave me a curious look. “What do you mean?”
I glanced away, unsure how to explain. I worried if I told him I eavesdropped he might feel angry or violated, which he had every right to. Even though it gave me huge insight into his thoughts and feelings, I still knew I never should’ve listened.
I chewed on my lip as I brought my gaze to his. “I have a confession, and I completely understand if you get angry.”
His muscles tensed for a second, his expression apprehensive. “Why would I be angry?”
I tried to muster as much apology into my voice as I could manage. “First off, I’m sorry, I never should’ve done it, but when we were in Paris I overheard some of a Skype call you had with your doctor.”
I studied his face for a reaction, but he’d gone very still. “What did you hear?”
“I heard you talk about the reason you kept me in the friend zone for so long. You knew you couldn’t maintain a romantic relationship and you didn’t want to lose me so you made sure we stayed only friends.”
Trev’s eyes flickered back and forth between mine. I had no clue what he was thinking, but then he surprised me when he said, “So this is how you know I always loved you.”
“It makes sense.”
He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before cupping my jaw. The look he gave me was so hot it sent shivers down my spine. “You made me happy. And yes, the idea of losing you terrified me. Also, yes, I have always loved you. At least, it feels that way. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t. That seems like another life.”
I exhaled a long, shaky breath, my heart hammering as I asked, “So, you’re not angry?”
Trev’s gaze softened. “No, I hate to admit it, but I probably would’ve done the exact same thing. I always want to know what you’re thinking. If I could get even a tiny glimpse I’d take it in a heartbeat.”
“Man, I’m so glad I got that out. My guilt was twisting me upside,” I breathed.
Trev bent forward and whispered, his lips over mine. “If that’s the case I know a way you can alleviate some of that guilt.”
I smiled wide. “I’m all ears.”
Screw being walked in on. Maybe we did have time for sex after all.
I was a little dishevelled by the time the gang arrived to take us to the circus, but I managed to fix my hair and smooth out my clothes before we left. King’s sister’s circus was called The Circus Spektakulär and operated in a forested area just outside the city. It almost felt magical as we walked through the fairy-lit pathway that led to the tent, surrounded by tall trees and the night sky above. King greeted the girl on the ticket booth, whose name was Lola, and she appeared delighted to see him. I swear she would’ve pulled him through the window for a hug if it had been allowed.
The tent was packed and thanks to King’s connections we had fantastic ringside seats. Trev barely took his eyes off me the entire time and I couldn’t stop thinking about our quickie back at the apartment. Needing some sort of contact, I took his hand in mine and rested it on my thigh. His attention turned heated just as the house lights dimmed, signalling the start of the show.
We were treated to clowns and acrobats, lion tamers and stuntmen. I thought the Running on Air cast would fit right in with this lot, seeing as though they all shared a similar interest: risking their lives for the sake of their passion.
I bent close to Alexis, who was sitting on the other side of me, and asked, “Which ones are your friends?”
“King knows all of them, but one of his best friends is on next. He’s a fire breather,” she said, and winked with giddy excitement. “Just wait till you see.”
My brows shot up as King grumped, “I heard that.”
Alexis grinned happily. “I know you did.”
The ringmaster was King’s half-sister. It was bizarre because she was well into her sixties, with bright, dyed-red hair and a thick cockney accent. She was the last person I expected to be related to someone as urbane, well-spoken and obviously upper class as Oliver King.
“Damas y caballeros, I give you Jack McCabe,” she announced, and a slow rock song started to play. It had a thick, heavy bass line that seemed to compliment the tall, muscular man who stepped into the ring. He had long hair, eyes so dark you’d swear they could see right into your soul, and a body like an avenging angel. Now I understood Alexis’s giddy excitement. A chill came over me just looking at him.
He blew fire from his mouth like it was air. I trembled at the billowing flames and noticed the scarring that marred a portion of his shoulder and back. He held a torch in each hand, moving them dexterously around his body, making figure-eight shapes in the air. Next he drew the torch along his arm, creating a trail of flame on his skin. I swallowed and held Trev’s hand a little tighter.
