Heaven and Earth
Page 33
I can use that in the essay.”
“Yeah.” She cursed under her breath. “That’s a good one.”
If a twelve-year-old boy could face the music, Ripley told herself, then a thirty-year-old woman had to be able to do the same.
Maybe she’d rather be grounded, maybe she’d rather write the dreaded essay than knock on Mac’s door. But there was no option. Not with guilt, shame, and the example of a twelve-year-old crowding her.
She thought Mac might just slam the door in her face, and she couldn’t find it in herself to blame him if he did. Of course, if he did, then she could just write a polite note of apology. Which was almost like an essay when you thought about it.
Face-to-face had to be the first move, though. So she stood in front of his cottage door as the light dimmed with dusk, and prepared to eat crow.
He opened the door. He was wearing his glasses, and a sweatshirt that carried an emblem from Whatsamatta U and a picture of Bullwinkle. Under any other circumstances, it would have been amusing.
“Deputy Todd,” he said. Very coolly.
“Can I come in for a minute?” She swallowed the first stringy morsel of crow. “Please.”
He stepped back, gestured.
She could see he’d been working. A couple of the monitors were booted up. One of them had zigzagging lines that put her in mind of hospital equipment.
He had a fire going, and she could smell stale coffee.
“I’m interrupting,” she began.
“That’s all right. Let me take your coat.”
“No.” Defensively, she pulled it tighter. “This won’t take long, then I’ll get out of your hair. I want to apologize for the other day. I was wrong. Totally wrong, and completely out of line. There’s no excuse for what I did, what I said, or how I behaved.”
“Well, that about covers it.” He’d wanted to stay angry with her. He’d been very comfortable in that groove. “Accepted.”
She jammed her hands in her pockets. She didn’t like it when things were too easy. “I overreacted,” she said.
“I’m not going to argue there.”
“I’d like to finish.” Her voice frosted.
“Go right ahead.”
“I don’t know why I overreacted, but that’s what I did. Even if you had been with Mia in a . . . in an intimate fashion, it was none of my business. I’m responsible for my own actions, my own decisions, and my own choices, and that’s the way I like it.”
“Ripley,” he said, gently now. “Let me take your coat.”
“No, I’m not staying. I got myself worked up about it, way more than it warranted, considering. That pisses me off. And the fact is, I’d talked myself into thinking that you’d put the moves on me—then put them on Mia—to try to soften both of us up so we’d help you out with your work.”
“Well.” He took his glasses off, dangling them by the earpiece. “That’s insulting.”
“I know it,” she said grimly. “And I’m sorry for it. More, I’m ashamed that I let myself use that to justify me using sex—you know, getting you worked up like I did—as a punishment. Women who do that give sex a bad name. So—”
She blew out a breath, tested herself. No, she didn’t feel better, damn it. She felt mortified. “So, that’s all. I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.”
She turned to the door, and he moved with her. Braced a hand on it. “Digging beneath the surface, which is something I like doing, there’s a small, specific area of your overreaction that I find satisfying. In a strictly shallow, egotistical manner.”
She didn’t look at him. Refused to. Why bother when she could hear the smirk in his voice? “That just makes me feel more like an idiot.”
“I’m not opposed to that result.” He ran his hand down her long tail of hair. “I’m taking your coat.” He tugged it off her shoulders. “Want a beer?”
“No.” It surprised her that what she wanted was a hug. Just a quick little cuddle. And she’d never been the cuddling type. “No, I’m on call.”
He touched her hair again, a quick dance of his fingers down the soft stream of it. “Want to kiss and make up?”
“I think we’ll just take a break from the kissing part of the agenda.” She took the coat from him, sidestepped and dumped it on the floor by the front door. She nodded at his sweatshirt. “Your alma mater?”
“Hmm?” He glanced down, focused. “Yeah. I did some postgrad work there. You haven’t lived till you’ve seen spring inFrostbiteFalls .”
She smiled and felt better. “I can’t peg you, Mac.”
“Me either. Do you want—” He broke off as the phone rang, then stood looking blankly around the room.
“Sounds like the telephone to me,” Ripley said helpfully.
“Yeah. Which one? Bedroom,” he decided and loped away.
She reached down for her coat. It would probably be best if she just eased out while he was busy. Then she heard him, speaking what she thought was Spanish.
What was it about foreign languages, she wondered, that stirred the juices? She left her coat where it was and strolled casually toward the bedroom.
He was standing by the bed, his glasses now hooked by the earpiece in the front pocket of his jeans. The bed was made; she appreciated that basic tidiness in a man. Books were stacked, piled, spread everywhere. He paced as he spoke, and she noticed he wasn’t wearing shoes. Just thick socks—one black, one navy. It was so cute.
He seemed to be talking very quickly. Whenever she heard a foreign language, it seemed to be rapid, just a flood of incomprehensible words in fascinating accents.
She cocked her head. He seemed to be concentrating fiercely, but not, she thought, on the Spanish. It came too fluently to be anything but second nature.
Then he began searching the room, patting his shirt with one hand.
“Right front pocket,” she said and caused him to turn and blink at her. “Glasses?”
“Uh, no. Yes. Qué? No, no, uno momento. Why don’t I have a pen?”
She walked over, picked up one of the three that lay on his nightstand. When he still looked frustrated, she offered a pad to go with it.
“Thanks. I don’t know why they always— Como? Sí, sí. ”
“Yeah.” She cursed under her breath. “That’s a good one.”
If a twelve-year-old boy could face the music, Ripley told herself, then a thirty-year-old woman had to be able to do the same.
Maybe she’d rather be grounded, maybe she’d rather write the dreaded essay than knock on Mac’s door. But there was no option. Not with guilt, shame, and the example of a twelve-year-old crowding her.
She thought Mac might just slam the door in her face, and she couldn’t find it in herself to blame him if he did. Of course, if he did, then she could just write a polite note of apology. Which was almost like an essay when you thought about it.
Face-to-face had to be the first move, though. So she stood in front of his cottage door as the light dimmed with dusk, and prepared to eat crow.
He opened the door. He was wearing his glasses, and a sweatshirt that carried an emblem from Whatsamatta U and a picture of Bullwinkle. Under any other circumstances, it would have been amusing.
“Deputy Todd,” he said. Very coolly.
“Can I come in for a minute?” She swallowed the first stringy morsel of crow. “Please.”
He stepped back, gestured.
She could see he’d been working. A couple of the monitors were booted up. One of them had zigzagging lines that put her in mind of hospital equipment.
He had a fire going, and she could smell stale coffee.
“I’m interrupting,” she began.
“That’s all right. Let me take your coat.”
“No.” Defensively, she pulled it tighter. “This won’t take long, then I’ll get out of your hair. I want to apologize for the other day. I was wrong. Totally wrong, and completely out of line. There’s no excuse for what I did, what I said, or how I behaved.”
“Well, that about covers it.” He’d wanted to stay angry with her. He’d been very comfortable in that groove. “Accepted.”
She jammed her hands in her pockets. She didn’t like it when things were too easy. “I overreacted,” she said.
“I’m not going to argue there.”
“I’d like to finish.” Her voice frosted.
“Go right ahead.”
“I don’t know why I overreacted, but that’s what I did. Even if you had been with Mia in a . . . in an intimate fashion, it was none of my business. I’m responsible for my own actions, my own decisions, and my own choices, and that’s the way I like it.”
“Ripley,” he said, gently now. “Let me take your coat.”
“No, I’m not staying. I got myself worked up about it, way more than it warranted, considering. That pisses me off. And the fact is, I’d talked myself into thinking that you’d put the moves on me—then put them on Mia—to try to soften both of us up so we’d help you out with your work.”
“Well.” He took his glasses off, dangling them by the earpiece. “That’s insulting.”
“I know it,” she said grimly. “And I’m sorry for it. More, I’m ashamed that I let myself use that to justify me using sex—you know, getting you worked up like I did—as a punishment. Women who do that give sex a bad name. So—”
She blew out a breath, tested herself. No, she didn’t feel better, damn it. She felt mortified. “So, that’s all. I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.”
She turned to the door, and he moved with her. Braced a hand on it. “Digging beneath the surface, which is something I like doing, there’s a small, specific area of your overreaction that I find satisfying. In a strictly shallow, egotistical manner.”
She didn’t look at him. Refused to. Why bother when she could hear the smirk in his voice? “That just makes me feel more like an idiot.”
“I’m not opposed to that result.” He ran his hand down her long tail of hair. “I’m taking your coat.” He tugged it off her shoulders. “Want a beer?”
“No.” It surprised her that what she wanted was a hug. Just a quick little cuddle. And she’d never been the cuddling type. “No, I’m on call.”
He touched her hair again, a quick dance of his fingers down the soft stream of it. “Want to kiss and make up?”
“I think we’ll just take a break from the kissing part of the agenda.” She took the coat from him, sidestepped and dumped it on the floor by the front door. She nodded at his sweatshirt. “Your alma mater?”
“Hmm?” He glanced down, focused. “Yeah. I did some postgrad work there. You haven’t lived till you’ve seen spring inFrostbiteFalls .”
She smiled and felt better. “I can’t peg you, Mac.”
“Me either. Do you want—” He broke off as the phone rang, then stood looking blankly around the room.
“Sounds like the telephone to me,” Ripley said helpfully.
“Yeah. Which one? Bedroom,” he decided and loped away.
She reached down for her coat. It would probably be best if she just eased out while he was busy. Then she heard him, speaking what she thought was Spanish.
What was it about foreign languages, she wondered, that stirred the juices? She left her coat where it was and strolled casually toward the bedroom.
He was standing by the bed, his glasses now hooked by the earpiece in the front pocket of his jeans. The bed was made; she appreciated that basic tidiness in a man. Books were stacked, piled, spread everywhere. He paced as he spoke, and she noticed he wasn’t wearing shoes. Just thick socks—one black, one navy. It was so cute.
He seemed to be talking very quickly. Whenever she heard a foreign language, it seemed to be rapid, just a flood of incomprehensible words in fascinating accents.
She cocked her head. He seemed to be concentrating fiercely, but not, she thought, on the Spanish. It came too fluently to be anything but second nature.
Then he began searching the room, patting his shirt with one hand.
“Right front pocket,” she said and caused him to turn and blink at her. “Glasses?”
“Uh, no. Yes. Qué? No, no, uno momento. Why don’t I have a pen?”
She walked over, picked up one of the three that lay on his nightstand. When he still looked frustrated, she offered a pad to go with it.
“Thanks. I don’t know why they always— Como? Sí, sí. ”
