Heaven's Sinners
Page 61
“I was so scared,” I say, and the tears finally slide down my cheeks.
“I know,” he rasps, reaching for my hand.
“I thought you were dead.”
“Hey,” he whispers. “I’m okay.”
I gently climb onto the bed next to him, and I stroke my fingertips over his hand. I can’t hold him, but I can lie with him.
“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we? Are they going to come after us?”
He’s quiet a long moment, his breathing steady.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
Neither do I, and that’s the scary thing. We walked away from something, but we left it incomplete. I don’t think it’s over.
I think it’s far from.
I think we may have started a war.
~*~*~*~
PRESENT - SPIKE
“Baby,” I whisper, shaking Ciara’s shoulders. “You should go.”
She groans beside me, and her eyes flutter open to stare up at me. She has a bruised face, and her eyes are bloodshot. I feel my heart clench for her, and it fuckin’ hurts. She reaches up, sliding her fingers over my face. I know she doesn’t want to leave, but I can see how tired she is. She thought I was dead. The look on her face when she came in my room when I woke up was something I’ll never forget. Even now, she looks like she’s going to burst out into a fit of tears.
“I don’t want to leave you,” she croaks.
I reach up, touching the soft skin on her cheek. “You need to leave, and get some rest.”
“I know, but it doesn’t mean I want to.”
“Hey you two!”
We both turn to see Cade and Addison standing at the door. Addi smiles, walking over and stopping by my bed. She stares down at me, then reaches out and puts her hand on my shoulder.
“We’ve been over this before, if you wanted my attention you just had to ask...”
I laugh weakly, and my entire body feels like someone is beating me as I do. Everything hurts.
“Precious, always makin’ me smile.”
She smiles down at me, but even I can see she’s about to burst into a fit of tears.
“Don’t you start fuckin’ cryin’ too,” I rasp.
She nods, clenching her jaw. “You have grown on us, you know?”
I smile, weakly. “I know, precious.”
Cade is still standing at the door, his face blank. I look up at him, and I know he’s emotional. It’s written all over him, even though he’s trying not to show it.
“Hey precious,” I say to Addi. “Would you take my girl home?”
Addi nods, “Of course, come on honey.”
Ciara turns to me, her eyes hurting. “Are you sure?”
I grip her, pulling her down for a soft kiss. “Yeah, go on, I’ll call you when I’ve had some rest, yeah?”
She nods, stroking her fingers across my cheek. “I love you.”
“Yeah, I know baby. I love you, too.”
I watch the two girls leave the room, and then I turn my eyes to Cade. He’s still watching me. Fuck. I’m tired of this. I’ve hated him for so long, so fuckin’ long, and when I was dyin’ on the ground I realized how quickly life can end. It wasn’t his fault Cheyenne died, no, it was my fuckin’ fault. He was only doing what he thought best at the time. I meet his gaze, and force a smile. “You know me, always trying to be the life of the party.”
He laughs hoarsely, and walks into the room, stopping at my bed. “You fuckin’ scared me, seein’ you goin’ down...”
I nod. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
He hesitates for a moment, then he rasps, “Spike, I know things between us have been fucked up, but I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life not bein’ your friend. You’ve always been my go to, always been my wingman. I know we’ve been getting along for the sake of taking Hogan down, but I’m fuckin’ tired of the pretend. You know I’m fuckin’ sorry for what happened that day, and if I could take it back, I would.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I rasp, feeling my voice shake. Fuck, here it comes. I don’t wanna show pain in front of him, but it ain’t backin’ down. “It was mine. I was just lookin’ for someone to blame, because I wasn’t about to face that I put her in that position. It’s on me, Cade.”
Cade nods, his eyes glassy. Fuck. Fuck.
“Can we move past this? Can we try and be friends? ‘Coz fuck, Spike, I don’t ever wanna see you where you were yesterday, and not have told you I fuckin’ love you.”
That’s it for me. I turn my head away, my chest heaving with emotion. Fuckin’ pussy, suck it up. Cade puts a hand on my shoulder, and I turn to face him again. “You fuckin’ scared me, do you hear me? You fuckin’ scared me.”
A single, lone tear slides down my cheek. “I thought I was fuckin’ dead, Cade. I thought it was fuckin’ done. Never been so fuckin’ scared that I wouldn’t wake up again.”
My body shakes, and Cade leans forward, gripping my head and bringing it to his gut. He wraps both arms around it, and he just holds me there. It’s a very brutal hug, and I feel like a fuckin’ girl, but fuck, I can’t stop my body shaking. I can’t stop it no matter how hard I try. I nearly died. I nearly fuckin’ died. I was a fuckin’ idiot, and I nearly left everybody broken, again.
“You fuckin’ do that to me again, I’ll put you on your ass,” Cade chokes from above me.
“I know,” he rasps, reaching for my hand.
“I thought you were dead.”
“Hey,” he whispers. “I’m okay.”
I gently climb onto the bed next to him, and I stroke my fingertips over his hand. I can’t hold him, but I can lie with him.
“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we? Are they going to come after us?”
He’s quiet a long moment, his breathing steady.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
Neither do I, and that’s the scary thing. We walked away from something, but we left it incomplete. I don’t think it’s over.
I think it’s far from.
I think we may have started a war.
~*~*~*~
PRESENT - SPIKE
“Baby,” I whisper, shaking Ciara’s shoulders. “You should go.”
She groans beside me, and her eyes flutter open to stare up at me. She has a bruised face, and her eyes are bloodshot. I feel my heart clench for her, and it fuckin’ hurts. She reaches up, sliding her fingers over my face. I know she doesn’t want to leave, but I can see how tired she is. She thought I was dead. The look on her face when she came in my room when I woke up was something I’ll never forget. Even now, she looks like she’s going to burst out into a fit of tears.
“I don’t want to leave you,” she croaks.
I reach up, touching the soft skin on her cheek. “You need to leave, and get some rest.”
“I know, but it doesn’t mean I want to.”
“Hey you two!”
We both turn to see Cade and Addison standing at the door. Addi smiles, walking over and stopping by my bed. She stares down at me, then reaches out and puts her hand on my shoulder.
“We’ve been over this before, if you wanted my attention you just had to ask...”
I laugh weakly, and my entire body feels like someone is beating me as I do. Everything hurts.
“Precious, always makin’ me smile.”
She smiles down at me, but even I can see she’s about to burst into a fit of tears.
“Don’t you start fuckin’ cryin’ too,” I rasp.
She nods, clenching her jaw. “You have grown on us, you know?”
I smile, weakly. “I know, precious.”
Cade is still standing at the door, his face blank. I look up at him, and I know he’s emotional. It’s written all over him, even though he’s trying not to show it.
“Hey precious,” I say to Addi. “Would you take my girl home?”
Addi nods, “Of course, come on honey.”
Ciara turns to me, her eyes hurting. “Are you sure?”
I grip her, pulling her down for a soft kiss. “Yeah, go on, I’ll call you when I’ve had some rest, yeah?”
She nods, stroking her fingers across my cheek. “I love you.”
“Yeah, I know baby. I love you, too.”
I watch the two girls leave the room, and then I turn my eyes to Cade. He’s still watching me. Fuck. I’m tired of this. I’ve hated him for so long, so fuckin’ long, and when I was dyin’ on the ground I realized how quickly life can end. It wasn’t his fault Cheyenne died, no, it was my fuckin’ fault. He was only doing what he thought best at the time. I meet his gaze, and force a smile. “You know me, always trying to be the life of the party.”
He laughs hoarsely, and walks into the room, stopping at my bed. “You fuckin’ scared me, seein’ you goin’ down...”
I nod. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
He hesitates for a moment, then he rasps, “Spike, I know things between us have been fucked up, but I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life not bein’ your friend. You’ve always been my go to, always been my wingman. I know we’ve been getting along for the sake of taking Hogan down, but I’m fuckin’ tired of the pretend. You know I’m fuckin’ sorry for what happened that day, and if I could take it back, I would.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I rasp, feeling my voice shake. Fuck, here it comes. I don’t wanna show pain in front of him, but it ain’t backin’ down. “It was mine. I was just lookin’ for someone to blame, because I wasn’t about to face that I put her in that position. It’s on me, Cade.”
Cade nods, his eyes glassy. Fuck. Fuck.
“Can we move past this? Can we try and be friends? ‘Coz fuck, Spike, I don’t ever wanna see you where you were yesterday, and not have told you I fuckin’ love you.”
That’s it for me. I turn my head away, my chest heaving with emotion. Fuckin’ pussy, suck it up. Cade puts a hand on my shoulder, and I turn to face him again. “You fuckin’ scared me, do you hear me? You fuckin’ scared me.”
A single, lone tear slides down my cheek. “I thought I was fuckin’ dead, Cade. I thought it was fuckin’ done. Never been so fuckin’ scared that I wouldn’t wake up again.”
My body shakes, and Cade leans forward, gripping my head and bringing it to his gut. He wraps both arms around it, and he just holds me there. It’s a very brutal hug, and I feel like a fuckin’ girl, but fuck, I can’t stop my body shaking. I can’t stop it no matter how hard I try. I nearly died. I nearly fuckin’ died. I was a fuckin’ idiot, and I nearly left everybody broken, again.
“You fuckin’ do that to me again, I’ll put you on your ass,” Cade chokes from above me.
