Here Be Sexist Vampires
Page 34
What could I possibly say? I wasn’t going to deny it. I had no reason to other than that I felt sorry for Max but that wasn’t a reason to lie to him and it would only insult his intelligence anyway. Acting as though I bought his smile and pretence, I smiled back. “Yep.”
“Well I’d better go, got training in about twenty minutes. Although there’s a possibility that my trainer” – he nodded toward Jared – “might be late.” Again his tone was playful, empty of sourness. But I could detect the slight edge to it.
“See you later at the arena,” I said as he let himself out. I then turned to Jared with a ‘was that really necessary?’ look on my face.
He shrugged again and came toward me. “I did warn him that I wouldn’t stay away from you. Not my fault if he didn’t listen.”
“What happened to you staying in my room out of sight?”
“Max won’t do any blabbering. Though he might blubber a little.”
I slapped his upper arm as he reached me. “Must you be so mean?”
He slid his arms around my waist. “I just think it’s better for him that he knows.”
My eyes narrowed. “Or was this about you trying to mark territory that wasn’t yours to mark?”
“No,” he giggled.
“Jared.”
“Alright. I don’t want anyone kissing you” – he kissed me softly – “or touching you” – he slid his hands up to my neck – “the way that I do. Is that really that bad?”
And here I’d been thinking that maybe he was done with me after having his curiosity and horniness taken care of. “No, it’s not bad. But the whole idea of casual sex is that there aren’t any ‘strings attached’.”
He sucked in a breath. “I think maybe we should get you a new handbook on casual sex because you obviously haven’t heard that there are special situations in which exclusivity can be brought into the mix.”
“Ah but that would make me practically your consort, and we’ve been over this.”
Jared inhaled heavily and made a hmmm sound as he released a breath. “Okay, fair enough. I’ll just have to make sure you’re permanently sated so that you don’t have the time or energy for anyone else.”
I smiled. “You’re very welcome to try.” He did try just once more before teleporting back to his apartment to get ready for his session with the squad. That was probably why I had a huge smile on my face as I left my own apartment and headed to the Command Centre.
Instantly Fletcher was on his feet, examining me from head to toe. Then he ushered me into my own office and an impish smirk broke free on his face. “You bonked Jared.”
“Several times.”
He giggled. “How was his performance?”
“You want me to resort to ‘kiss and tell’? Let’s just say he topped the rest by far.”
“What happened to not wanting to be a consort? Not that I’m disapproving of you shagging him or anything.”
“I’m not Jared’s consort…And nor is Joy, Daniela or Tammy.”
Fletcher’s brows flew up. “He dumped them?”
“Yep.”
“Bloody hell. So are you two seeing each other now then?”
“We’re just two adults having fun.”
“Fun?”
“Fun.”
Fletcher gave me a look that questioned my IQ level. “Sam, luv, a bloke like Jared doesn’t change his lifestyle for ‘fun’.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I’m a lot of fun.”
Perceiving Fletcher’s theory that maybe Jared saw things a little more serious as totally idiotic, I didn’t even consider it. Instead, I got out the recruits’ files and made notes on their progress chart. I was confident that they could handle what I had planned for tonight. I was glad that Jared was having a meeting during lunch hour with Sherman because I seriously doubted he’d have got through that hour in our office without kissing or touching me and then I would’ve been one very horny vampire coach at the arena.
When I arrived at the arena the entire squad was waiting and all were rearing to go. Apart from Max – he wouldn’t meet my eyes and couldn’t have looked less enthusiastic. I might have felt sorry for him if he didn’t look like a mutinous, sulky, pouty five year old. Instantly they formed a perfect line in front of me and concentrated on sucking in any excess energy.
“I’m impressed,” I said as I reached the end of the line. “There wasn’t even the slightest spark of energy leaking from any of you. I think that means you’re ready for what I’ve got in mind. Chico, I want you to stand with Damien. Stuart, you stand with Denny. Butch, you’re with David. Max, you stand with Harvey. And Salem, you’re with Reuben. Now, take a look at who’s beside you. This is who I’ll be pairing you up with not just for now, but during the attack. I’d prefer not to have to separate you during an attack, but if it comes to that then pair up as you are now.” Everyone nodded, except for one person.
“You expect me to pair up with Harvey?” griped Max. “You know me and him don’t get along.”
I stood directly in front of Slap-head. “I expect you to not be a wanker and to push aside any negative feelings you have for who you’re paired up with. Chico and Damien aren’t the best of friends either. Do you hear them complaining?”
He spoke through his teeth. “You’re doing this to piss me off because of what happened the other night, aren’t you? Just like you f**ked Jared to piss me off.”
The cheeky little bugger! I ignored the gasps coming from the others; they seemed more shocked by Slap-head’s behaviour than what he’d divulged. “So you think my life revolves around you, do you? And here was me thinking it was Commander Michaels who had the ego problem.” I spoke in a grave, cautioning voice as I continued, “Now you listen to me: Personal business has no place in this arena. If you want to make pathetic, sly remarks then you do so out of training time. Not now, not here. You don’t waste my time or the time of the rest of the squad. You got that?”
Eventually Slap-head nodded.
Again I addressed the entire squad, who I noticed were looking at Slap-head with disgust. “As I was saying, I want you to pair up as you are now. Each of you have an excellent, powerful gift but some of those are more offensive than others. I’ve paired you up with people who’ll complement your own gift. Salem, your punch can be deadly when your power is amplified so I’ve placed you with Reuben who can amplify it for you. Chico, although your thorns are great, they can be easily dodged. However if Damien is using his ability to astral project he can have them looking one way while you come up from behind. Stuart and Denny – you can both travel together as mush and molecules, and hopefully get close enough for Stuart to distract the enemy so Denny can then use his ooze or other mimicry. David, once the enemy see how profound your gift is they will want to eliminate you fast. Butch, however, can shield you both and negate any attacks away from you while you do your thing. Also, if Max can steal the senses of any vamps surrounding us they won’t be prepared for Harvey’s telekinesis.” I looked at Max with the latter sentence, driving home the point of pairing him as I had.
I ushered them aside before strolling to the other end of the arena. “What I’d like you to do is revise in your mind the formations we practised. I’ll just be a sec.” Tapping into the energy of the element earth, I created several boulders and walls and a few ditches. “Now for the main part of today’s training…” I opened the door to the arena and in strode Evan and his own squad of ten. Instantly my squad turned into a crowd of giddy kids. I gave them a look that told them to take this seriously. They each then straightened their posture and met the gazes of Evan’s squad steadily.
“You sure they’re ready for this, Coach?” asked Evan as he came to stand beside me.
“Only one way to find out.” I stood between the squads, claiming their attention. “I want my squad on the North side, Commander Evan Michael’s squad on the South. Invade each other’s territory only if you dare. Your object is to annihilate the other squad. First, I want anyone with a deadly or severe gift to come forward so Reuben can weaken it; I don’t want people unconscious or dead, but I’ll expect that anyone who is struck by these severe gifts to subtract themselves from their squad just as they would have been had Reuben not weakened the effects of these gifts.”
Once Reuben was done with that, one of Evan’s squad asked, “Coach, will you be letting us know in advance who has what gift?”
“Will the vampires who attack The Hollow stop, smile and fairly announce what their gift is?” When he looked sheepish I nodded. “Then don’t expect my squad to.” Evan and I then went to stand in the spectators’ box. Although during the attack we would be there to guide them, we had both agreed that it was best for them to learn not to depend too greatly on our presence. Listen to our orders, yeah, but depend on our guidance, no. So we decided to simply observe for today. I could see that Evan was confident his own squad would win but I didn’t comment.
Just as they’d practiced, Damien, Max, Chico and Harvey covered the front boulder. Denny, Reuben and Stuart covered the boulders behind them, and then Salem, David and Butch covered the rear of the squad. Evan’s squad looked as though they were hoping to make the first move but I’d learnt my lot not to give the enemy a chance.
First Damien astral projected around the first boulder of the enemy which served two purposes; firstly, he could distract the enemy; secondly, he could then inform Chico, Max and Harvey how many were hiding there. Taking advantage of the enemy’s distraction, Harvey used his telekinesis to zoom Max to the boulder and he quickly stole the four members’ senses. Chico used this opportunity to aim his thorns at them. Three other members of Evan’s squad from behind a separate boulder aimed their gifts at Chico but soon they were eliminated when Stuart and Denny travelled as mush and molecules: Stuart distracted the vamps and Denny then oozed them while their backs were turned. Meanwhile Reuben had been hit by the enemy but not before having weakened some of them so their gifts were pretty useless.
The rest of the enemy – there were only four left – decided to spring forth and get rid of Max and Chico who were of the ultimate threat so far. They were successful, but sadly for them they hadn’t known of David’s and Salem’s gift. While Butch shielded them both, David sent psionic booms and Salem used his psychic punches. At the same time Harvey was sending other members of Evan’s squad crashing into the walls.
Done and dusted: Evan’s squad had been eliminated. There were still seven left of my squad. Evan and his entire squad looked equally stunned. My lot, of course, were looking rather smug and proud. And so was I. But we behaved like adults and didn’t jump for joy…until Evan and his squad had left, of course. Then they begin basking in their own greatness and I somehow then ended up in the centre of a huddle while a very odd and crap song was sung in my honour while they bounced around me. Max, however, didn’t participate. I pulled him aside as the others were leaving.
“You and me need to have a little chat if this is how you’re going to behave,” I told him.
He shrugged. “What’s there to chat about?”
“You’re acting like a jilted, betrayed boyfriend and, worse still, you’re acting it in the arena. For God’s sake, Max, The Hollow’s going to be attacked soon.”
“Yeah, and I’ll be ready. It doesn’t mean I have to respect your ass.”
I placed my face close to his. “Actually, it means exactly that. Not only do you need to respect me, you need to listen to me and follow instructions. And not just mine, but Commander Michaels’ as well. If I can’t trust you to do that then, I swear, I’ll leave you behind.”
He snickered. “Oh you will?”
“Oh I will. So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to take fifteen minutes and then you’re going to come to my office. After I’ve been to see Commander Norton I’ll go there for your answer about whether or not you’re going to get your act together. If you don’t come, I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”
Predictably, he stormed off.
(Jared)
A smile dripping with pride surfaced on my face when I caught up with Evan to tell him about the meeting that was on shortly for the commanders only to be told that mine and Sam’s squad had kicked the ass of Evan’s. As much as I hated to admit it – and I really, really hated to admit it – I had been totally wrong. Sam had been indispensible to having the squad in tip-top shape. I doubted I’d ever admit it aloud but stranger things had happened.
“You’re not trying to tell me it’s the squad who deserves the glory, not her,” observed Evan.
I just shrugged. Yep, I was right: I couldn’t admit my mistake aloud.
Evan narrowed his eyes, looking at me curiously and probably wondering why I was smiling like a Cheshire cat. It was a smile that had been on my face all evening. “Don’t tell me there’s something going on between you two. I mean, I know you wanted there to be. But I kind of got the feeling that she wouldn’t be up for the consort lifestyle.”
“She’s not,” was the only answer I gave him, but Evan wasn’t dumb. He could guess the rest.
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re not going to let it be a one-off thing?”
“Because I’m not.”
“Well I’d better go, got training in about twenty minutes. Although there’s a possibility that my trainer” – he nodded toward Jared – “might be late.” Again his tone was playful, empty of sourness. But I could detect the slight edge to it.
“See you later at the arena,” I said as he let himself out. I then turned to Jared with a ‘was that really necessary?’ look on my face.
He shrugged again and came toward me. “I did warn him that I wouldn’t stay away from you. Not my fault if he didn’t listen.”
“What happened to you staying in my room out of sight?”
“Max won’t do any blabbering. Though he might blubber a little.”
I slapped his upper arm as he reached me. “Must you be so mean?”
He slid his arms around my waist. “I just think it’s better for him that he knows.”
My eyes narrowed. “Or was this about you trying to mark territory that wasn’t yours to mark?”
“No,” he giggled.
“Jared.”
“Alright. I don’t want anyone kissing you” – he kissed me softly – “or touching you” – he slid his hands up to my neck – “the way that I do. Is that really that bad?”
And here I’d been thinking that maybe he was done with me after having his curiosity and horniness taken care of. “No, it’s not bad. But the whole idea of casual sex is that there aren’t any ‘strings attached’.”
He sucked in a breath. “I think maybe we should get you a new handbook on casual sex because you obviously haven’t heard that there are special situations in which exclusivity can be brought into the mix.”
“Ah but that would make me practically your consort, and we’ve been over this.”
Jared inhaled heavily and made a hmmm sound as he released a breath. “Okay, fair enough. I’ll just have to make sure you’re permanently sated so that you don’t have the time or energy for anyone else.”
I smiled. “You’re very welcome to try.” He did try just once more before teleporting back to his apartment to get ready for his session with the squad. That was probably why I had a huge smile on my face as I left my own apartment and headed to the Command Centre.
Instantly Fletcher was on his feet, examining me from head to toe. Then he ushered me into my own office and an impish smirk broke free on his face. “You bonked Jared.”
“Several times.”
He giggled. “How was his performance?”
“You want me to resort to ‘kiss and tell’? Let’s just say he topped the rest by far.”
“What happened to not wanting to be a consort? Not that I’m disapproving of you shagging him or anything.”
“I’m not Jared’s consort…And nor is Joy, Daniela or Tammy.”
Fletcher’s brows flew up. “He dumped them?”
“Yep.”
“Bloody hell. So are you two seeing each other now then?”
“We’re just two adults having fun.”
“Fun?”
“Fun.”
Fletcher gave me a look that questioned my IQ level. “Sam, luv, a bloke like Jared doesn’t change his lifestyle for ‘fun’.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I’m a lot of fun.”
Perceiving Fletcher’s theory that maybe Jared saw things a little more serious as totally idiotic, I didn’t even consider it. Instead, I got out the recruits’ files and made notes on their progress chart. I was confident that they could handle what I had planned for tonight. I was glad that Jared was having a meeting during lunch hour with Sherman because I seriously doubted he’d have got through that hour in our office without kissing or touching me and then I would’ve been one very horny vampire coach at the arena.
When I arrived at the arena the entire squad was waiting and all were rearing to go. Apart from Max – he wouldn’t meet my eyes and couldn’t have looked less enthusiastic. I might have felt sorry for him if he didn’t look like a mutinous, sulky, pouty five year old. Instantly they formed a perfect line in front of me and concentrated on sucking in any excess energy.
“I’m impressed,” I said as I reached the end of the line. “There wasn’t even the slightest spark of energy leaking from any of you. I think that means you’re ready for what I’ve got in mind. Chico, I want you to stand with Damien. Stuart, you stand with Denny. Butch, you’re with David. Max, you stand with Harvey. And Salem, you’re with Reuben. Now, take a look at who’s beside you. This is who I’ll be pairing you up with not just for now, but during the attack. I’d prefer not to have to separate you during an attack, but if it comes to that then pair up as you are now.” Everyone nodded, except for one person.
“You expect me to pair up with Harvey?” griped Max. “You know me and him don’t get along.”
I stood directly in front of Slap-head. “I expect you to not be a wanker and to push aside any negative feelings you have for who you’re paired up with. Chico and Damien aren’t the best of friends either. Do you hear them complaining?”
He spoke through his teeth. “You’re doing this to piss me off because of what happened the other night, aren’t you? Just like you f**ked Jared to piss me off.”
The cheeky little bugger! I ignored the gasps coming from the others; they seemed more shocked by Slap-head’s behaviour than what he’d divulged. “So you think my life revolves around you, do you? And here was me thinking it was Commander Michaels who had the ego problem.” I spoke in a grave, cautioning voice as I continued, “Now you listen to me: Personal business has no place in this arena. If you want to make pathetic, sly remarks then you do so out of training time. Not now, not here. You don’t waste my time or the time of the rest of the squad. You got that?”
Eventually Slap-head nodded.
Again I addressed the entire squad, who I noticed were looking at Slap-head with disgust. “As I was saying, I want you to pair up as you are now. Each of you have an excellent, powerful gift but some of those are more offensive than others. I’ve paired you up with people who’ll complement your own gift. Salem, your punch can be deadly when your power is amplified so I’ve placed you with Reuben who can amplify it for you. Chico, although your thorns are great, they can be easily dodged. However if Damien is using his ability to astral project he can have them looking one way while you come up from behind. Stuart and Denny – you can both travel together as mush and molecules, and hopefully get close enough for Stuart to distract the enemy so Denny can then use his ooze or other mimicry. David, once the enemy see how profound your gift is they will want to eliminate you fast. Butch, however, can shield you both and negate any attacks away from you while you do your thing. Also, if Max can steal the senses of any vamps surrounding us they won’t be prepared for Harvey’s telekinesis.” I looked at Max with the latter sentence, driving home the point of pairing him as I had.
I ushered them aside before strolling to the other end of the arena. “What I’d like you to do is revise in your mind the formations we practised. I’ll just be a sec.” Tapping into the energy of the element earth, I created several boulders and walls and a few ditches. “Now for the main part of today’s training…” I opened the door to the arena and in strode Evan and his own squad of ten. Instantly my squad turned into a crowd of giddy kids. I gave them a look that told them to take this seriously. They each then straightened their posture and met the gazes of Evan’s squad steadily.
“You sure they’re ready for this, Coach?” asked Evan as he came to stand beside me.
“Only one way to find out.” I stood between the squads, claiming their attention. “I want my squad on the North side, Commander Evan Michael’s squad on the South. Invade each other’s territory only if you dare. Your object is to annihilate the other squad. First, I want anyone with a deadly or severe gift to come forward so Reuben can weaken it; I don’t want people unconscious or dead, but I’ll expect that anyone who is struck by these severe gifts to subtract themselves from their squad just as they would have been had Reuben not weakened the effects of these gifts.”
Once Reuben was done with that, one of Evan’s squad asked, “Coach, will you be letting us know in advance who has what gift?”
“Will the vampires who attack The Hollow stop, smile and fairly announce what their gift is?” When he looked sheepish I nodded. “Then don’t expect my squad to.” Evan and I then went to stand in the spectators’ box. Although during the attack we would be there to guide them, we had both agreed that it was best for them to learn not to depend too greatly on our presence. Listen to our orders, yeah, but depend on our guidance, no. So we decided to simply observe for today. I could see that Evan was confident his own squad would win but I didn’t comment.
Just as they’d practiced, Damien, Max, Chico and Harvey covered the front boulder. Denny, Reuben and Stuart covered the boulders behind them, and then Salem, David and Butch covered the rear of the squad. Evan’s squad looked as though they were hoping to make the first move but I’d learnt my lot not to give the enemy a chance.
First Damien astral projected around the first boulder of the enemy which served two purposes; firstly, he could distract the enemy; secondly, he could then inform Chico, Max and Harvey how many were hiding there. Taking advantage of the enemy’s distraction, Harvey used his telekinesis to zoom Max to the boulder and he quickly stole the four members’ senses. Chico used this opportunity to aim his thorns at them. Three other members of Evan’s squad from behind a separate boulder aimed their gifts at Chico but soon they were eliminated when Stuart and Denny travelled as mush and molecules: Stuart distracted the vamps and Denny then oozed them while their backs were turned. Meanwhile Reuben had been hit by the enemy but not before having weakened some of them so their gifts were pretty useless.
The rest of the enemy – there were only four left – decided to spring forth and get rid of Max and Chico who were of the ultimate threat so far. They were successful, but sadly for them they hadn’t known of David’s and Salem’s gift. While Butch shielded them both, David sent psionic booms and Salem used his psychic punches. At the same time Harvey was sending other members of Evan’s squad crashing into the walls.
Done and dusted: Evan’s squad had been eliminated. There were still seven left of my squad. Evan and his entire squad looked equally stunned. My lot, of course, were looking rather smug and proud. And so was I. But we behaved like adults and didn’t jump for joy…until Evan and his squad had left, of course. Then they begin basking in their own greatness and I somehow then ended up in the centre of a huddle while a very odd and crap song was sung in my honour while they bounced around me. Max, however, didn’t participate. I pulled him aside as the others were leaving.
“You and me need to have a little chat if this is how you’re going to behave,” I told him.
He shrugged. “What’s there to chat about?”
“You’re acting like a jilted, betrayed boyfriend and, worse still, you’re acting it in the arena. For God’s sake, Max, The Hollow’s going to be attacked soon.”
“Yeah, and I’ll be ready. It doesn’t mean I have to respect your ass.”
I placed my face close to his. “Actually, it means exactly that. Not only do you need to respect me, you need to listen to me and follow instructions. And not just mine, but Commander Michaels’ as well. If I can’t trust you to do that then, I swear, I’ll leave you behind.”
He snickered. “Oh you will?”
“Oh I will. So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to take fifteen minutes and then you’re going to come to my office. After I’ve been to see Commander Norton I’ll go there for your answer about whether or not you’re going to get your act together. If you don’t come, I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”
Predictably, he stormed off.
(Jared)
A smile dripping with pride surfaced on my face when I caught up with Evan to tell him about the meeting that was on shortly for the commanders only to be told that mine and Sam’s squad had kicked the ass of Evan’s. As much as I hated to admit it – and I really, really hated to admit it – I had been totally wrong. Sam had been indispensible to having the squad in tip-top shape. I doubted I’d ever admit it aloud but stranger things had happened.
“You’re not trying to tell me it’s the squad who deserves the glory, not her,” observed Evan.
I just shrugged. Yep, I was right: I couldn’t admit my mistake aloud.
Evan narrowed his eyes, looking at me curiously and probably wondering why I was smiling like a Cheshire cat. It was a smile that had been on my face all evening. “Don’t tell me there’s something going on between you two. I mean, I know you wanted there to be. But I kind of got the feeling that she wouldn’t be up for the consort lifestyle.”
“She’s not,” was the only answer I gave him, but Evan wasn’t dumb. He could guess the rest.
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re not going to let it be a one-off thing?”
“Because I’m not.”
