Hideaway
Page 83
Lev released his guard, and the two of them stumbled out of the office, taking Ilia with them.
I sniffled, tasting more blood drip down my throat as I walked for the guys. I was still in my underwear and a T-shirt, and there was blood in my hair, making a few strands stick to my face. That’s all Lev and David saw as they watched me warily, as if they no longer knew me.
Shit, I wasn’t even sure I did.
But strangely, I didn’t mind. This was who I was supposed to be.
“Get Marina,” I told David, walking past him and out of the office. “I need a dress.”
I stood outside the cathedral doors, in the entryway, holding my arms out to give Marina room to work. My body was tugged in a dozen different directions as she pinned, sewed, and tightened the gown she’d given me when I was sixteen but never wore. It was the only dress we could find so quickly.
I stared at the closed doors in front of me. I hate him. But why wasn’t I more nervous? Why wasn’t I scared?
All I felt was anger. And drive. I didn’t care what happened to me right now. Let him do his worst.
“Can I put mascara on you?” Alex asked.
“Why not?” I mumbled. I rubbed my lips together, feeling the red lipstick she’d already dabbed on them. I wanted to look nice, but not for him. Something inside me was different. I wasn’t thinking about all the things I wanted to be anymore.
I just needed to be louder about it.
She worked on my eyes, adding some liner, and yanked the plug of the flat iron out of the wall, having finished curling chunks of my hair into loose waves.
“I have flowers for you,” Marina thrust a bouquet in my hands.
But I just cocked an eyebrow, staring down at the white roses. And then I tossed them off to the side, letting them land on a velvet bench. It was nice of her to go to the trouble, but she knew better.
I couldn’t hear anything happening inside the church, other than the echo of the odd kneeler being pushed up or down in the pews. Alex quickly dabbed more powder on my nose, probably still a little red from the attack before.
My body was still knotted from it. I hadn’t seen my father, Ilia, or the two guards, since I threw on my clothes and bolted from the house before he found out what went down. I wasn’t scared for myself so much as for David and Lev, who went against orders and protected me. We all dove into a car and drove away, Marina meeting us here shortly after, having snatched the gown on her way out.
I was actually grateful. To have the dress and Alex fixing my face. I felt armed. I wanted to be bold, not invisible. Not look how I always look, fucking apologetic and like I was always trying to make up for existing. I was here, and fuck ’em.
I waved Alex away, and grabbed my dress, lifting it up to walk toward the doors.
“What are you wearing?” Alex burst out.
I turned to see her looking at my feet.
I glanced down to try to see what the problem was.
My combat boots, some of the black scuffed off the toe, sat on my feet loose with the shoestrings untied, as usual.
“They match,” I told her and turned back around.
But I heard her heavy sigh behind me.
Dropping the dress, I pulled open the doors, not waiting for a cue. I hated formalities, and if Kai wanted to suffer so badly, why not just go to City Hall?
People lingered around the front of the nearly empty church, a few random parishioners in the pews toward the back. Everyone, one by one, stopped to stare.
I hoped my black dress made a statement. The bodice was charcoal and tight, leaving my shoulders and arms completely bare, while the white tulle was full around the bottom with a sheer black overlay.
Kai stood at the front of the church, facing Michael to the side, but his head was turned toward me. The dress was dreamy and beautiful, and I hoped like hell I looked good in it.
Without waiting for any music to start, I walked, fixing my eyes on the altar as I marched down the aisle. The room was silent, and I absorbed the heat of a dozen pairs of eyes on me.
My father sat in the front, but I knew he was going to be here. Hanson found me a while ago to sign the marriage license.
Michael stood at front, next to Kai, while Will and Rika were off to my left.
I could sense other bodies here, too, but I assumed they belonged to my father’s side. Once he calmed down and stopped blaming himself for not getting rid of me sooner, he must’ve realized that while I went into this marriage with nothing, I’d come out with my rightful half.
Or all of it if Kai should happen to get hit by an untimely bus.
A priest with white hair and glasses came out from behind a podium, noticing me, and moved quickly down the small set of stairs to stand center. He looked nervously to Kai, probably realizing how abnormal this “ceremony” was.
Kai uncrossed his arms and let his eyes fall down my form, a skeptical look on his face. Walking over to me, he nodded, and we both stepped up to the priest.
“You wore a dress,” he said under his breath. “Color me surprised.”
Ass.
But I gave the tall man in front of us a sweet smile, taking in his fancy white robe with gold embroidery.
“I’ve never worn one,” I replied quietly. “A gown, I mean. And since I’m only getting married once…”
“Oh, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to wear gowns, married to me,” he assured. “I plan on making this marriage as torturous as possible for you.”
But I shot back, tipping my chin up. “Go for it while you can. I’ll be a widow soon, I’m sure.”
I heard his quiet laugh at my side, but he dropped the banter as the priest looked beyond us to our pathetic guest list.
“Be attentive to our prayers, O Lord,” he rang out, opening his arms to everyone, “and in your kindness, pour out your grace on these, your servants, Kai and Nikova, who, coming together before your altar, they may be confirmed in love for one anoth—.
“Skip to the vows,” Kai gritted out.
The priest halted his script, looking flustered. I almost snorted. Poor guy. It was weird, though, hearing my name like that. No one used it, except my mom and Damon, and they called me Nik.
My father didn’t like Nikova, though, so I got used to using Banks. That’s who I was now.
The priest cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. “Kai and Nikova, have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?
“I have,” Kai answered.
I hesitated but finally nodded, feeling the weight of my father in the room. “I have.”
“And are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?
“Yes,” Kai hissed, sounding in a hurry. “I am.”
My heart jumped. God, was this really happening? “Yes,” I replied.
I couldn’t detect Will behind me, and Michael was as still as stone, but I could hear Rika’s constant fidgeting on my left.
“Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?”
What? I shot my eyes to Kai, who simply stared at the priest with his eyebrow arched.
No fucking way. We might be here under false pretenses, but this was horse shit. I wasn’t even going to pretend to agree to that.
“Keep going,” Kai told him, and I realized he wasn’t having it, either.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
The priest looked down at his book, seeming flustered before stuttering on. “Since…since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony,” he said, finding his voice again, “join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.
Kai turned toward me, and all I could do was lock my jaw, so no bad words slipped out. I faced him, and he took my hands, but I refused to close my fingers around his. Even despite the tingling that was shooting up my arms.
“Kai Genato Mori,” the priest began, “do you take Nikova for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?
Until death…
He stared at me, his gaze faltering, and I saw a glimpse of the man sitting at his father’s table, telling me the story about steak.
I sniffled, tasting more blood drip down my throat as I walked for the guys. I was still in my underwear and a T-shirt, and there was blood in my hair, making a few strands stick to my face. That’s all Lev and David saw as they watched me warily, as if they no longer knew me.
Shit, I wasn’t even sure I did.
But strangely, I didn’t mind. This was who I was supposed to be.
“Get Marina,” I told David, walking past him and out of the office. “I need a dress.”
I stood outside the cathedral doors, in the entryway, holding my arms out to give Marina room to work. My body was tugged in a dozen different directions as she pinned, sewed, and tightened the gown she’d given me when I was sixteen but never wore. It was the only dress we could find so quickly.
I stared at the closed doors in front of me. I hate him. But why wasn’t I more nervous? Why wasn’t I scared?
All I felt was anger. And drive. I didn’t care what happened to me right now. Let him do his worst.
“Can I put mascara on you?” Alex asked.
“Why not?” I mumbled. I rubbed my lips together, feeling the red lipstick she’d already dabbed on them. I wanted to look nice, but not for him. Something inside me was different. I wasn’t thinking about all the things I wanted to be anymore.
I just needed to be louder about it.
She worked on my eyes, adding some liner, and yanked the plug of the flat iron out of the wall, having finished curling chunks of my hair into loose waves.
“I have flowers for you,” Marina thrust a bouquet in my hands.
But I just cocked an eyebrow, staring down at the white roses. And then I tossed them off to the side, letting them land on a velvet bench. It was nice of her to go to the trouble, but she knew better.
I couldn’t hear anything happening inside the church, other than the echo of the odd kneeler being pushed up or down in the pews. Alex quickly dabbed more powder on my nose, probably still a little red from the attack before.
My body was still knotted from it. I hadn’t seen my father, Ilia, or the two guards, since I threw on my clothes and bolted from the house before he found out what went down. I wasn’t scared for myself so much as for David and Lev, who went against orders and protected me. We all dove into a car and drove away, Marina meeting us here shortly after, having snatched the gown on her way out.
I was actually grateful. To have the dress and Alex fixing my face. I felt armed. I wanted to be bold, not invisible. Not look how I always look, fucking apologetic and like I was always trying to make up for existing. I was here, and fuck ’em.
I waved Alex away, and grabbed my dress, lifting it up to walk toward the doors.
“What are you wearing?” Alex burst out.
I turned to see her looking at my feet.
I glanced down to try to see what the problem was.
My combat boots, some of the black scuffed off the toe, sat on my feet loose with the shoestrings untied, as usual.
“They match,” I told her and turned back around.
But I heard her heavy sigh behind me.
Dropping the dress, I pulled open the doors, not waiting for a cue. I hated formalities, and if Kai wanted to suffer so badly, why not just go to City Hall?
People lingered around the front of the nearly empty church, a few random parishioners in the pews toward the back. Everyone, one by one, stopped to stare.
I hoped my black dress made a statement. The bodice was charcoal and tight, leaving my shoulders and arms completely bare, while the white tulle was full around the bottom with a sheer black overlay.
Kai stood at the front of the church, facing Michael to the side, but his head was turned toward me. The dress was dreamy and beautiful, and I hoped like hell I looked good in it.
Without waiting for any music to start, I walked, fixing my eyes on the altar as I marched down the aisle. The room was silent, and I absorbed the heat of a dozen pairs of eyes on me.
My father sat in the front, but I knew he was going to be here. Hanson found me a while ago to sign the marriage license.
Michael stood at front, next to Kai, while Will and Rika were off to my left.
I could sense other bodies here, too, but I assumed they belonged to my father’s side. Once he calmed down and stopped blaming himself for not getting rid of me sooner, he must’ve realized that while I went into this marriage with nothing, I’d come out with my rightful half.
Or all of it if Kai should happen to get hit by an untimely bus.
A priest with white hair and glasses came out from behind a podium, noticing me, and moved quickly down the small set of stairs to stand center. He looked nervously to Kai, probably realizing how abnormal this “ceremony” was.
Kai uncrossed his arms and let his eyes fall down my form, a skeptical look on his face. Walking over to me, he nodded, and we both stepped up to the priest.
“You wore a dress,” he said under his breath. “Color me surprised.”
Ass.
But I gave the tall man in front of us a sweet smile, taking in his fancy white robe with gold embroidery.
“I’ve never worn one,” I replied quietly. “A gown, I mean. And since I’m only getting married once…”
“Oh, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to wear gowns, married to me,” he assured. “I plan on making this marriage as torturous as possible for you.”
But I shot back, tipping my chin up. “Go for it while you can. I’ll be a widow soon, I’m sure.”
I heard his quiet laugh at my side, but he dropped the banter as the priest looked beyond us to our pathetic guest list.
“Be attentive to our prayers, O Lord,” he rang out, opening his arms to everyone, “and in your kindness, pour out your grace on these, your servants, Kai and Nikova, who, coming together before your altar, they may be confirmed in love for one anoth—.
“Skip to the vows,” Kai gritted out.
The priest halted his script, looking flustered. I almost snorted. Poor guy. It was weird, though, hearing my name like that. No one used it, except my mom and Damon, and they called me Nik.
My father didn’t like Nikova, though, so I got used to using Banks. That’s who I was now.
The priest cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. “Kai and Nikova, have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?
“I have,” Kai answered.
I hesitated but finally nodded, feeling the weight of my father in the room. “I have.”
“And are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?
“Yes,” Kai hissed, sounding in a hurry. “I am.”
My heart jumped. God, was this really happening? “Yes,” I replied.
I couldn’t detect Will behind me, and Michael was as still as stone, but I could hear Rika’s constant fidgeting on my left.
“Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?”
What? I shot my eyes to Kai, who simply stared at the priest with his eyebrow arched.
No fucking way. We might be here under false pretenses, but this was horse shit. I wasn’t even going to pretend to agree to that.
“Keep going,” Kai told him, and I realized he wasn’t having it, either.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
The priest looked down at his book, seeming flustered before stuttering on. “Since…since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony,” he said, finding his voice again, “join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.
Kai turned toward me, and all I could do was lock my jaw, so no bad words slipped out. I faced him, and he took my hands, but I refused to close my fingers around his. Even despite the tingling that was shooting up my arms.
“Kai Genato Mori,” the priest began, “do you take Nikova for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?
Until death…
He stared at me, his gaze faltering, and I saw a glimpse of the man sitting at his father’s table, telling me the story about steak.
