Hideaway

Page 97

“He’s got one more chance,” my father threatened. And then he cocked his head at me. “But maybe that’s just what he needs. A year, or five, to think about that temper of his.”
Anger poured in and out of my lungs, and I glared at my father.
“And if that happens…” He stepped closer, dropping his voice. “It’s open season on you and your new little crew. Now get the fuck off my property.”
I backed away, not hesitating and not taking my eyes off any of them. It was unlike him to let me off the hook and just leave, having gotten the better of him, but he had enough problems. He had Damon to worry about.
Running into Will, I shoved my elbow at him, and we both moved, climbing in our cars and speeding off.
I kept my eye on the rearview mirror the entire way home.
“What the hell?”
I heard Kai bellow, and I winced.
Slamming the car door, I turned around to see him, David, and Lev barreling across the threshold of the house and across the gravel driveway toward us.
“You’re dead.” Kai pointed to Will.
“Come on, man. Damn.” Will opened the back of the Jeep. “She’s your chick. Not mine.”
Four of the nine dogs jumped out of the back of Kai’s Jeep, and I tried to shield the small faunariums behind me, but it was no use. Kai narrowed his eyes on the dogs and then he snapped his gaze to my right to where Marina was rounding the front of the car.
“What is this?” he blurted at me. Then his eyes fell to the snakes, turning even more alarmed.
“We went to Gabriel’s,” I told him. “And I, um…I got some dogs?”
“You went to Gabriel’s?” His tone sounded like I was in a lot of trouble. “You just snuck off after the conversation we just had about loyalty and honesty and…”
“And I needed to do this on my own,” I cut him off. “Not like ‘Hey, here’s my man, and he’s going to fight you if you hurt me, so back off!’ I needed to face him on my own. I’m fine. See?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. His biceps flexed, stretching his black T-shirt, and my stomach flipped.
I cleared my throat. “I won’t go back. I promise. I just needed to handle this.”
The wrinkles between his eyes grew deeper. I knew he wasn’t mad I faced my father. Kai didn’t treat me like a fragile flower. I think he was angry I went without him, though, and I understood that. I’d be mad, too.
But I also knew he would’ve taken the lead and stepped in for me if he didn’t like what Gabriel said to me or how he looked at me. I needed to do this alone.
I heard shuffles across the rocks and panting and turned my head to see Will come out from between the cars with the rest of the animals. Though, they were doing a better job of pulling him.
“Nine dogs?” Kai bit out, fixing me with a glare. “They’re not staying here.”
“Of course not,” I said, trying to sound innocent. “I’ll call the shelter when they open in an hour.”
“Or we could keep them,” Will suggested. “I mean, look at this shit. He’s shivering.”
And he bent down to scoop up the beagle, the little guy squirming, because he was so nervous.
Kai looked bemused. And then he gave me a warning look. “Baby, I like it quiet. You know that.”
“Totally.” I nodded, trying to keep the grin off my face. “I mean they’ve been in cages all their lives. I could keep them down at the other house for like a couple days, too? Maybe fatten ’em up? Before the shelter just throws them in more cages, right?”
“Yeah, they could do with a little spoiling,” Will added. “Let’s just keep them.”
“Oh, my God,” Kai grumbled, turning back toward the house and shaking his head. “Nine dogs….”
I folded my lips between my teeth to keep from laughing.
Quickly handing Marina the cages, I chased after Kai. “Oh, and I kind of brought Gabriel’s cook,” I said, stumbling up to him. “We could use her, right?”
“Yeah, fine, fuck, whatever.” He entered the house and started pounding up the stairs. “Bring everybody. Doors are open. Why the hell not?”
I snorted behind him, his sarcasm not lost on me. He was coming apart, and I loved it. This was our life, after all, and we may trip over each other for a while yet, but we weren’t people who were okay with failing, either. We’d figure it out.
“Oh, and one more thing.” I ran, catching up to him and jumping up on the stair above him.
He stopped in his tracks, letting out another sigh. “I think I might cry.”
I tried not to laugh. Poor guy had had enough for one morning.
I stared down at his lips and broad shoulders and perfect hair and leaned in, desire heating my skin.
Wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my body to his, I caressed his lips with mine, feeling him shudder.
And I whispered, “I still need that shower.”
Then I took his hand, catching the heated look in his eyes, and led him upstairs.
Overgrown grass covered the soft earth as he stepped quietly through the headstones. A sea of plots lay beyond, over the hill to the left and behind him, spanning out as far as he could see. It really was the most peaceful place he’d ever been.
People were quiet here. Solemn expressions were as expected as angry ones, and talking to yourself was perfectly acceptable in a cemetery. Although, he could scream right now and no one would notice. No one else was here.
He looked up at the full moon, seeing the glow of a ring circling it and casting its faint light over the land. The granite headstone he looked for appeared ahead, and he approached it, a growing heat coursing through his veins as he fisted his cold fingers.
Coming to a stop, he let his eyes fall on the marker and then to his shoes and the land they stood on. And what was underneath.
He closed his eyes, letting everything wash over him.
Everyone thought he was inhuman. Incapable of feeling. Resistant to emotion. Sick. Unwell. A machine.
No.
He felt everything. He never shunned an emotion. Not one. He knew that letting it run its course was the only way to get rid of it.
Shame.
Fear.
Anger.
Love.
Worry.
Sadness.
Betrayal.
Guilt.
He owned every single one.
It sank through his eyelids and into his lungs through the crisp air, filling him up as tears sprang to the backs of his eyes.
But he didn’t cry.
It soon coursed down his arms and hummed through his fingertips, before sinking into his stomach, the tight knots hardening into bricks and then molding to him, becoming part of him. They were there. They were his.
And then everything turned softer, fluttering its way past his groin and down his long legs and through his feet, cementing him to the ground.
I am here. I am me.
This is me.
He opened his eyes and stared at the headstone. And he felt nothing anymore.
Pulling his cigarette case from his breast pocket, he took one out and tapped the end of it on the tin. He stuck it between his lips and reached into his pants’ pocket for his lighter. Lighting the end, he inhaled a puff and blew out the smoke, putting everything back into his pocket again.
He took another puff and then pulled the cigarette out of his mouth. “You can thank Little Sister for this,” he told the headstone. “It was her idea.”
Banks was as clever as he was. If only she’d been as loyal.
“It could’ve gone other ways,” he said to the grave. “Cleaner ways.”
He took another drag, the flavor mixed with the cold air tasting good on his tongue.
“Universities use industrial digesters to get rid of cadavers,” he continued, feeling amused. “They look like huge pressure cookers. You mix seventy gallons of water with a little lye and cook it until it’s the right temperature and consistency. A body can dissolve in a matter of hours.” He took another puff, pinching the butt between his fingers. “And then you can just…pour the body down the drain. Gone. Nothing.”
The wind picked up, rustling in the trees.
“But it doesn’t dissolve everything, unfortunately. Some pieces of bone and teeth survive, so those have to be crushed,” he went on. “Now, sulfuric acid, although more dangerous than lye, can completely dissolve human remains. The downside is it does take longer. About two days.” He nodded, dropping the cigarette on the plot and grinding it out with his shoe. “And that’s inconvenient.”