Hold Me Closer: The Tiny Cooper Story
Page 25
PHIL
(continuing the song, moving closer to Djane):
I’m not promising you
it’ll be a slam dunk,
but, Djane, I’m thinking
we should get a little drunk.
Uncork the bottle and
drown the monk.
We won’t know if it’s sink or swim
’til we’ve swum or sunk.
DJANE (moving even closer):
You know what I have to say to that?
PHIL
(even closer—they both kinda know what’s coming):
What?
An explosive kiss between them. It’s impossible to tell who kissed who first.
They take it offstage.
TINY (to audience):
Now, that’s what I’m talking about. And that’s what Will and I had. Only, we had other things, too. Like fear. And vulnerability. And uncertainty. I tried to shine my way through all these things . . . shine us both through all these things. But sometimes it’s not that easy.
The bed gets wheeled in again, with different sheets on it. We’re in Will’s bedroom now. It’s very much like the inside of his head—part childish, part intense. Although the sheets weren’t actually black, they might as well have been.
Will and Tiny have been dating for a couple of weeks now. Tiny is SO into it, and he feels that Will is, too, even if Will isn’t as open in expressing his enthusiasm. But that’s okay. Tiny has learned to understand that his emotional volume tends to be a little louder than other boys’, and he wants Will to be his complement, not his twin. It’s okay that they’re different, in no small part because Tiny thinks his buoyancy can lift whatever’s weighing Will down. They’ll balance out.
Will enters the bedroom and joins Tiny.
TINY (to audience):
This is the first time I ever got to see Will’s room. You can tell a lot about a guy from his room. In Will’s case, I was searching for signs of life.
Tiny approaches a goldfish bowl next to the bed. You do NOT have to have goldfish in it. This is acting. And no goldfish should have to swim under a spotlight.
TINY:
Goldfish! What are their names?
WILL:
Samson and Delilah.
TINY:
Really?
WILL:
She’s a total slut.
Tiny leans over for a closer look at the fish food and finds a bottle of pills instead.
TINY:
You feed them prescription drugs?
WILL:
Oh, no. Those are mine. (pause) It’s a depression thing.
TINY (lighthearted, not really getting it):
Oh, I feel depressed, too. Sometimes. (pause) Which one’s Samson and which one’s Delilah?
WILL:
Honestly? I forget.
TINY (as if he’s just seen it for the first time):
Look! A bed!
With an almost-shy grin, Tiny sits gingerly on its edge.
TINY:
Comfy!
Will takes one look at Tiny sitting there and laughs happily. It’s a wonderful sound when he laughs happily, especially because it surprises Will whenever it happens.
TINY:
What?
WILL:
There’s a boy! In my bed!
Will joins Tiny in the bed. They share a tender kiss, then Will lies in Tiny’s arms. It’s very sweet. And I wish we could end the scene here. With all my heart, I wish we could end the scene here, and Will could let this be exactly what it seems to be. But Will can’t accept it. He pulls out of Tiny’s embrace, sits up.
TINY:
What? What is it?
WILL:
Look, Tiny—I’m trying to be on my best behavior, but you have to understand—I’m always standing on the edge of something bad. And sometimes someone like you can make me look the other way, so that I don’t know how close I am to falling over. But I always end up turning my head. Always. I always walk off that edge. And it’s what I deal with every day, and it’s not going away anytime soon. It’s really nice to have you here, but do you want to know something? Do you really want me to be honest?
Tiny nods. Of course he wants Will to be honest. When you’re falling in love, you always think honesty is the right answer.
WILL:
It feels like a vacation. I don’t think you know what that’s like. Which is good—you don’t want to. You have no idea how much I hate this. I hate the fact that I’m ruining the night right now, ruining everything—
TINY:
You’re not.
WILL:
I am.
TINY:
Says who?
WILL:
Says me?
TINY:
Don’t I get any say?
WILL:
No. I just ruin it. You don’t get any say.
Tiny touches Will’s ear lightly, tries to lighten the moment.
TINY:
You know, you get all sexy when you turn destructive.
His fingers run down Will’s neck, under his collar.
TINY:
I know I can’t change anything that’s already happened to you. But you know what I can do?
WILL:
What?
TINY:
Something else. That’s what I can give you. Something else.
The next song is a ballad, almost a lullaby, delivered from Tiny to Will as Tiny cuddles him close. Tiny wants so badly for Will to see how much he cares. As happens with love, he cares carefully, and he cares carelessly, and he cares a lot about how much his care is received. He sees Will is hurting. He knows Will is hurting. And he wants to change that. And he believes that the first step to change is letting the other person know that you’re there, and that you want to help as much as he needs help.
(continuing the song, moving closer to Djane):
I’m not promising you
it’ll be a slam dunk,
but, Djane, I’m thinking
we should get a little drunk.
Uncork the bottle and
drown the monk.
We won’t know if it’s sink or swim
’til we’ve swum or sunk.
DJANE (moving even closer):
You know what I have to say to that?
PHIL
(even closer—they both kinda know what’s coming):
What?
An explosive kiss between them. It’s impossible to tell who kissed who first.
They take it offstage.
TINY (to audience):
Now, that’s what I’m talking about. And that’s what Will and I had. Only, we had other things, too. Like fear. And vulnerability. And uncertainty. I tried to shine my way through all these things . . . shine us both through all these things. But sometimes it’s not that easy.
The bed gets wheeled in again, with different sheets on it. We’re in Will’s bedroom now. It’s very much like the inside of his head—part childish, part intense. Although the sheets weren’t actually black, they might as well have been.
Will and Tiny have been dating for a couple of weeks now. Tiny is SO into it, and he feels that Will is, too, even if Will isn’t as open in expressing his enthusiasm. But that’s okay. Tiny has learned to understand that his emotional volume tends to be a little louder than other boys’, and he wants Will to be his complement, not his twin. It’s okay that they’re different, in no small part because Tiny thinks his buoyancy can lift whatever’s weighing Will down. They’ll balance out.
Will enters the bedroom and joins Tiny.
TINY (to audience):
This is the first time I ever got to see Will’s room. You can tell a lot about a guy from his room. In Will’s case, I was searching for signs of life.
Tiny approaches a goldfish bowl next to the bed. You do NOT have to have goldfish in it. This is acting. And no goldfish should have to swim under a spotlight.
TINY:
Goldfish! What are their names?
WILL:
Samson and Delilah.
TINY:
Really?
WILL:
She’s a total slut.
Tiny leans over for a closer look at the fish food and finds a bottle of pills instead.
TINY:
You feed them prescription drugs?
WILL:
Oh, no. Those are mine. (pause) It’s a depression thing.
TINY (lighthearted, not really getting it):
Oh, I feel depressed, too. Sometimes. (pause) Which one’s Samson and which one’s Delilah?
WILL:
Honestly? I forget.
TINY (as if he’s just seen it for the first time):
Look! A bed!
With an almost-shy grin, Tiny sits gingerly on its edge.
TINY:
Comfy!
Will takes one look at Tiny sitting there and laughs happily. It’s a wonderful sound when he laughs happily, especially because it surprises Will whenever it happens.
TINY:
What?
WILL:
There’s a boy! In my bed!
Will joins Tiny in the bed. They share a tender kiss, then Will lies in Tiny’s arms. It’s very sweet. And I wish we could end the scene here. With all my heart, I wish we could end the scene here, and Will could let this be exactly what it seems to be. But Will can’t accept it. He pulls out of Tiny’s embrace, sits up.
TINY:
What? What is it?
WILL:
Look, Tiny—I’m trying to be on my best behavior, but you have to understand—I’m always standing on the edge of something bad. And sometimes someone like you can make me look the other way, so that I don’t know how close I am to falling over. But I always end up turning my head. Always. I always walk off that edge. And it’s what I deal with every day, and it’s not going away anytime soon. It’s really nice to have you here, but do you want to know something? Do you really want me to be honest?
Tiny nods. Of course he wants Will to be honest. When you’re falling in love, you always think honesty is the right answer.
WILL:
It feels like a vacation. I don’t think you know what that’s like. Which is good—you don’t want to. You have no idea how much I hate this. I hate the fact that I’m ruining the night right now, ruining everything—
TINY:
You’re not.
WILL:
I am.
TINY:
Says who?
WILL:
Says me?
TINY:
Don’t I get any say?
WILL:
No. I just ruin it. You don’t get any say.
Tiny touches Will’s ear lightly, tries to lighten the moment.
TINY:
You know, you get all sexy when you turn destructive.
His fingers run down Will’s neck, under his collar.
TINY:
I know I can’t change anything that’s already happened to you. But you know what I can do?
WILL:
What?
TINY:
Something else. That’s what I can give you. Something else.
The next song is a ballad, almost a lullaby, delivered from Tiny to Will as Tiny cuddles him close. Tiny wants so badly for Will to see how much he cares. As happens with love, he cares carefully, and he cares carelessly, and he cares a lot about how much his care is received. He sees Will is hurting. He knows Will is hurting. And he wants to change that. And he believes that the first step to change is letting the other person know that you’re there, and that you want to help as much as he needs help.
