Hold Me
Page 48
“As long as you know he’s not a sensible choice.”
“Sensible is highly overrated. I know that Miles isn’t going to be into anything permanent. I’m open to a fling. Miles and I have talked. He’s going to be faithful while he’s here and when he leaves, we’re done. Normally, I would want more, but there’s something about him. I love it when a man makes me forget myself.”
“Why?”
Shelby laughed. “Because falling for someone should be unpredictable and fun. I work hard every day. I have a steady routine, which is all good, but sometimes I want more. I want to feel the rush of anticipation. I want to be surprised. I love surprises.”
“Only good ones,” Destiny pointed out. “Everyone wants to win the lottery, and no one wants to be in a car accident, yet they’re both surprises.”
“Okay, you’re a great person, but sometimes you’re a little strange.”
“I’ve been told that before.” Destiny rested her brush on the edge of the paint can and stood to stretch her legs. “I’ve seen plenty of emotional drama in my life. I’m looking for calm.”
“You mean boring.”
“I’m a fan of boring. I want to know that tomorrow is going to look a lot like today.” That the person who mattered most would still be there in the morning. How many times had she awakened as a kid to find her parents hadn’t come home? That they’d hopped a flight to New York or Las Vegas. Sometimes they’d remembered to arrange for someone to be around to take care of her. But not always.
She’d been with Grandma Nell over a year before she’d been able to wake up without a knot in her stomach. In her world, surprises were highly overrated.
* * *
THE WORK CREWS finished about two in the afternoon. Destiny passed on going to Jo’s for nachos and margaritas. She wanted to get home to see Starr. They were supposed to hang out that afternoon. The plan was to practice the guitar, then make dinner together. Not exactly earthshaking, but Destiny was looking forward to them spending time together.
As she crossed the street in front of their house, her leg muscles protested. All the squatting and crouching had done a number on her thighs. She really needed to be thinking about working out, she thought. Or maybe just making sure she got a long walk in every day.
She opened the front door and stepped into the house.
“It’s me,” she called.
Starr was in the living room, on her cell phone. As Destiny entered the room, her sister turned away. There was something about the set of her shoulders, the way she held her head, that had Destiny freezing in place.
“Uh-huh,” Starr said. “Sure. No problem. Bye.”
She pushed a button on her cell phone and tossed it onto the sofa.
“What’s wrong?” Destiny asked.
“Nothing.”
Starr’s voice was strangled, and she didn’t turn around.
Destiny crossed to her. “Hey, tell me, please.”
Starr slowly faced her. Tears filled her eyes. “My dad called. Our dad called. He wanted to wish me a happy birthday.”
Destiny’s whole body tensed as horror swept through her. “It’s your birthday? Oh, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” She wanted to slap herself. How could she have not found out it was her sister’s birthday? Talk about thoughtless.
“It’s not,” Starr told her as she wiped away tears. “It’s not my birthday. When I told him, he didn’t think it was a big deal.” More tears fell. “He’s my f-father, and he doesn’t even know when I was born.”
Destiny moved in and reached for her. Starr resisted for about a second, then collapsed against her.
“I’m sorry,” Destiny whispered, knowing the words were stupid and wouldn’t help at all. Not that she could think of anything else to say. “He’s like that sometimes. You know it’s about him, right? Not you?”
“Because he’s the only one who matters?”
“Pretty much.”
Starr began to cry, then. “He’s my dad. Why doesn’t he love me?”
“He does.”
“No. I’ve seen how other dads act. He doesn’t care about me.”
Destiny hung on tight. “Jimmy Don isn’t like other dads. I’m sorry he did that to you.”
She continued to hug Starr until the teen finally straightened and wiped her face.
“Thanks,” Starr told her, her face blotchy and her eyes red. “It sucks, you know.”
“I do.”
“Can we still play guitar together?”
“Sure. Later we’ll make cookies.”
That earned her a slight smile. “I’m not five. You can’t distract me with a cookie.”
“Maybe not, but I can try.”
Starr sniffed. “I need to blow my nose. I’ll be right back.”
Destiny waited until she was out of the room, then she emailed herself a reminder to get in touch with her father’s lawyer. She needed to know a whole lot more about Starr than she did now. Starting with her sister’s birthday. Because when that day actually came, Destiny wanted to make sure it was one to remember...in the best way possible.
* * *
AT NOON ON SUNDAY Starr got a text from Abby, inviting her to an impromptu sleepover. Destiny talked to Liz, Abby’s mom, got confirmation that there would be no boys or unsupervised time and dropped off Starr at four. By six-thirty, Destiny was pacing the floor.
“Sensible is highly overrated. I know that Miles isn’t going to be into anything permanent. I’m open to a fling. Miles and I have talked. He’s going to be faithful while he’s here and when he leaves, we’re done. Normally, I would want more, but there’s something about him. I love it when a man makes me forget myself.”
“Why?”
Shelby laughed. “Because falling for someone should be unpredictable and fun. I work hard every day. I have a steady routine, which is all good, but sometimes I want more. I want to feel the rush of anticipation. I want to be surprised. I love surprises.”
“Only good ones,” Destiny pointed out. “Everyone wants to win the lottery, and no one wants to be in a car accident, yet they’re both surprises.”
“Okay, you’re a great person, but sometimes you’re a little strange.”
“I’ve been told that before.” Destiny rested her brush on the edge of the paint can and stood to stretch her legs. “I’ve seen plenty of emotional drama in my life. I’m looking for calm.”
“You mean boring.”
“I’m a fan of boring. I want to know that tomorrow is going to look a lot like today.” That the person who mattered most would still be there in the morning. How many times had she awakened as a kid to find her parents hadn’t come home? That they’d hopped a flight to New York or Las Vegas. Sometimes they’d remembered to arrange for someone to be around to take care of her. But not always.
She’d been with Grandma Nell over a year before she’d been able to wake up without a knot in her stomach. In her world, surprises were highly overrated.
* * *
THE WORK CREWS finished about two in the afternoon. Destiny passed on going to Jo’s for nachos and margaritas. She wanted to get home to see Starr. They were supposed to hang out that afternoon. The plan was to practice the guitar, then make dinner together. Not exactly earthshaking, but Destiny was looking forward to them spending time together.
As she crossed the street in front of their house, her leg muscles protested. All the squatting and crouching had done a number on her thighs. She really needed to be thinking about working out, she thought. Or maybe just making sure she got a long walk in every day.
She opened the front door and stepped into the house.
“It’s me,” she called.
Starr was in the living room, on her cell phone. As Destiny entered the room, her sister turned away. There was something about the set of her shoulders, the way she held her head, that had Destiny freezing in place.
“Uh-huh,” Starr said. “Sure. No problem. Bye.”
She pushed a button on her cell phone and tossed it onto the sofa.
“What’s wrong?” Destiny asked.
“Nothing.”
Starr’s voice was strangled, and she didn’t turn around.
Destiny crossed to her. “Hey, tell me, please.”
Starr slowly faced her. Tears filled her eyes. “My dad called. Our dad called. He wanted to wish me a happy birthday.”
Destiny’s whole body tensed as horror swept through her. “It’s your birthday? Oh, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” She wanted to slap herself. How could she have not found out it was her sister’s birthday? Talk about thoughtless.
“It’s not,” Starr told her as she wiped away tears. “It’s not my birthday. When I told him, he didn’t think it was a big deal.” More tears fell. “He’s my f-father, and he doesn’t even know when I was born.”
Destiny moved in and reached for her. Starr resisted for about a second, then collapsed against her.
“I’m sorry,” Destiny whispered, knowing the words were stupid and wouldn’t help at all. Not that she could think of anything else to say. “He’s like that sometimes. You know it’s about him, right? Not you?”
“Because he’s the only one who matters?”
“Pretty much.”
Starr began to cry, then. “He’s my dad. Why doesn’t he love me?”
“He does.”
“No. I’ve seen how other dads act. He doesn’t care about me.”
Destiny hung on tight. “Jimmy Don isn’t like other dads. I’m sorry he did that to you.”
She continued to hug Starr until the teen finally straightened and wiped her face.
“Thanks,” Starr told her, her face blotchy and her eyes red. “It sucks, you know.”
“I do.”
“Can we still play guitar together?”
“Sure. Later we’ll make cookies.”
That earned her a slight smile. “I’m not five. You can’t distract me with a cookie.”
“Maybe not, but I can try.”
Starr sniffed. “I need to blow my nose. I’ll be right back.”
Destiny waited until she was out of the room, then she emailed herself a reminder to get in touch with her father’s lawyer. She needed to know a whole lot more about Starr than she did now. Starting with her sister’s birthday. Because when that day actually came, Destiny wanted to make sure it was one to remember...in the best way possible.
* * *
AT NOON ON SUNDAY Starr got a text from Abby, inviting her to an impromptu sleepover. Destiny talked to Liz, Abby’s mom, got confirmation that there would be no boys or unsupervised time and dropped off Starr at four. By six-thirty, Destiny was pacing the floor.
