Hold on Tight
Page 19
“You know Momma, Sienna. She’d have been there if she knew. She would have been there every motherfucking step of the way. Momma loved Dustin, and she loved you. Micah would have been the center of her world.”
Sienna was shaking her head. “No, she wouldn’t, because she wasn’t. I see that she still lives at the same address, Dewayne. She hasn’t moved. I sent her letters. More than I can count. Not once did she respond. Not once.”
This wasn’t right. I just didn’t have an answer other than that my mother didn’t know about Micah. She couldn’t. She would have wanted that baby. She would have made sure Sienna had everything she needed.
“We need to talk to Momma. Something isn’t right. She doesn’t know, Sienna. Hell, my father almost passed out when he figured it out. Momma still doesn’t know who he is, but when I told Dad who Micah’s mother was, he saw Dustin in the boy immediately. He wouldn’t move from his side from that moment on. He asked him questions and he watched him with complete fascination. When we left, he kissed his head. My dad kissed Micah’s head. My dad isn’t affectionate. You know that. So tell me you believe they knew about Micah and ignored him.”
Sienna stood there, and then, instead of arguing, she burst into tears. Shit! Micah was gonna be so damn pissed at me.
SIENNA
They wanted him. His dad had kissed Micah’s head. For years I had longed for Micah to have family. Grandparents who loved him. Someone other than just me and Aunt Cathy. This was all too much. I had sent those letters to Tabby. Was it possible she hadn’t received them? So many of them?
“Fuck, Sienna. Please don’t cry. Micah will blame me,” Dewayne said, sounding panicked. The fact that Dewayne Falco was worried about a five-year-old boy being mad at him made me cry harder. He wanted Micah to like him. He wanted to be a part of Micah’s life too. I hadn’t expected this at all. Returning to Sea Breeze had been something that terrified me.
But this . . . I hadn’t needed to be scared of this. I had been worried about Micah being hurt. But instead Micah got others who love him and want to be a part of his life. The fear of what would happen to him if I died wasn’t as heavy anymore. I had always lived with that constant terror. Micah was going to have a family. One bigger than just me. A group of people who he could trust to be there for him.
“I sent letters . . . pictures,” I said, mostly for my benefit, to remind myself I had tried to tell her . . . to tell them.
Dewayne nodded. “I believe you. I do. I just know my momma didn’t get them.”
That was the Tabby Falco I remembered. The one who Dewayne insisted would have been there if she’d known. The one who wouldn’t have let me live in Fort Worth in a house with an aunt who didn’t approve of me being a pregnant teen but who wasn’t going to force me to give up my baby. She had given me a roof over my head and a ride when I needed it, but she hadn’t been warm and kind.
I wiped at my now-wet face and took a deep breath to calm myself. Dewayne was right. Micah wouldn’t understand my tears, and he’d be upset. He didn’t like seeing me cry. I think it scared him.
“If they want to be a part of Micah’s life, I want that for him. He needs family. He wants it.” I swallowed and concentrated on not breaking down again when I said this to Dewayne. “He has always wondered where his grandparents were. Other kids had them, and he didn’t understand why all he had was a momma, and an aunt who he wasn’t very close to. She was more like a landlord.”
Dewayne looked pained. “They’re gonna adore the kid. He will have the best damn grandparents on earth. Just give them a chance. If you can do that, you may save them both. Micah is what they need. He’ll bring back the joy that Dustin took with him.”
Micah and I needed to talk first. “Give me time to help him understand. And then I’ll call you and let you know we’re ready. But I need to make sure that your mother didn’t get those letters. Because I sent them . . . and if she got them and . . .” I trailed off. I hated saying to her son that she could have known about Micah and hid it from Dewayne and his father. I’d sent those letters. They couldn’t have just vanished.
“She didn’t get them. How did you send them? Did you mail them from your aunt’s?”
I nodded. I had put them in the mailbox in the mornings.
“Would your aunt have taken them?”
No. Why would Aunt Cathy take them? She didn’t want us there with her. She was taking us in because she didn’t want us on the streets. I shook my head. “I can’t imagine she would have.”
Dewayne frowned. He didn’t look convinced. “Momma didn’t get them. Something must have happened to them. It’s possible someone intercepted them.”
I hoped he was right. Because more than anything, I wanted the Falcos to be a part of Micah’s life. I wanted him to know the people who were a part of his father. I wanted him to see pictures of his father growing up. All those things. I wanted them for him.
“You find out if she ever received those letters, and then I’ll talk to Micah. I need to know they want to be a part of his life first.”
Dewayne nodded and shoved his hands in his front pockets. “I’ll talk to Momma and let you know as soon as possible. But can we go ahead and confirm that I’m hanging out with Micah on Saturday mornings while you work? I want that time.”
Micah needed that, and it would save me money. I nodded. “Yes. That’s good. If you can’t one Saturday, just let me know at least a week in advance so I can make other arrangements.”
Sienna was shaking her head. “No, she wouldn’t, because she wasn’t. I see that she still lives at the same address, Dewayne. She hasn’t moved. I sent her letters. More than I can count. Not once did she respond. Not once.”
This wasn’t right. I just didn’t have an answer other than that my mother didn’t know about Micah. She couldn’t. She would have wanted that baby. She would have made sure Sienna had everything she needed.
“We need to talk to Momma. Something isn’t right. She doesn’t know, Sienna. Hell, my father almost passed out when he figured it out. Momma still doesn’t know who he is, but when I told Dad who Micah’s mother was, he saw Dustin in the boy immediately. He wouldn’t move from his side from that moment on. He asked him questions and he watched him with complete fascination. When we left, he kissed his head. My dad kissed Micah’s head. My dad isn’t affectionate. You know that. So tell me you believe they knew about Micah and ignored him.”
Sienna stood there, and then, instead of arguing, she burst into tears. Shit! Micah was gonna be so damn pissed at me.
SIENNA
They wanted him. His dad had kissed Micah’s head. For years I had longed for Micah to have family. Grandparents who loved him. Someone other than just me and Aunt Cathy. This was all too much. I had sent those letters to Tabby. Was it possible she hadn’t received them? So many of them?
“Fuck, Sienna. Please don’t cry. Micah will blame me,” Dewayne said, sounding panicked. The fact that Dewayne Falco was worried about a five-year-old boy being mad at him made me cry harder. He wanted Micah to like him. He wanted to be a part of Micah’s life too. I hadn’t expected this at all. Returning to Sea Breeze had been something that terrified me.
But this . . . I hadn’t needed to be scared of this. I had been worried about Micah being hurt. But instead Micah got others who love him and want to be a part of his life. The fear of what would happen to him if I died wasn’t as heavy anymore. I had always lived with that constant terror. Micah was going to have a family. One bigger than just me. A group of people who he could trust to be there for him.
“I sent letters . . . pictures,” I said, mostly for my benefit, to remind myself I had tried to tell her . . . to tell them.
Dewayne nodded. “I believe you. I do. I just know my momma didn’t get them.”
That was the Tabby Falco I remembered. The one who Dewayne insisted would have been there if she’d known. The one who wouldn’t have let me live in Fort Worth in a house with an aunt who didn’t approve of me being a pregnant teen but who wasn’t going to force me to give up my baby. She had given me a roof over my head and a ride when I needed it, but she hadn’t been warm and kind.
I wiped at my now-wet face and took a deep breath to calm myself. Dewayne was right. Micah wouldn’t understand my tears, and he’d be upset. He didn’t like seeing me cry. I think it scared him.
“If they want to be a part of Micah’s life, I want that for him. He needs family. He wants it.” I swallowed and concentrated on not breaking down again when I said this to Dewayne. “He has always wondered where his grandparents were. Other kids had them, and he didn’t understand why all he had was a momma, and an aunt who he wasn’t very close to. She was more like a landlord.”
Dewayne looked pained. “They’re gonna adore the kid. He will have the best damn grandparents on earth. Just give them a chance. If you can do that, you may save them both. Micah is what they need. He’ll bring back the joy that Dustin took with him.”
Micah and I needed to talk first. “Give me time to help him understand. And then I’ll call you and let you know we’re ready. But I need to make sure that your mother didn’t get those letters. Because I sent them . . . and if she got them and . . .” I trailed off. I hated saying to her son that she could have known about Micah and hid it from Dewayne and his father. I’d sent those letters. They couldn’t have just vanished.
“She didn’t get them. How did you send them? Did you mail them from your aunt’s?”
I nodded. I had put them in the mailbox in the mornings.
“Would your aunt have taken them?”
No. Why would Aunt Cathy take them? She didn’t want us there with her. She was taking us in because she didn’t want us on the streets. I shook my head. “I can’t imagine she would have.”
Dewayne frowned. He didn’t look convinced. “Momma didn’t get them. Something must have happened to them. It’s possible someone intercepted them.”
I hoped he was right. Because more than anything, I wanted the Falcos to be a part of Micah’s life. I wanted him to know the people who were a part of his father. I wanted him to see pictures of his father growing up. All those things. I wanted them for him.
“You find out if she ever received those letters, and then I’ll talk to Micah. I need to know they want to be a part of his life first.”
Dewayne nodded and shoved his hands in his front pockets. “I’ll talk to Momma and let you know as soon as possible. But can we go ahead and confirm that I’m hanging out with Micah on Saturday mornings while you work? I want that time.”
Micah needed that, and it would save me money. I nodded. “Yes. That’s good. If you can’t one Saturday, just let me know at least a week in advance so I can make other arrangements.”
