Holy Smokes
Page 35
Traci nodded. “The mage didn’t want to accept it as a form of challenge, feeling the more traditional fight to the death was in line with the importance of the position, but when I pointed out to her that you had hundreds of thou sands of demons who would avenge you if need be, she decided to withdraw the lethality requirement of the challenge.”
“You’re getting a raise,” I told the steward.
It smiled modestly. “I do my best to serve you in all things, Lord Aisling.”
And so it was that a half hour later, I found myself at a familiar machine, my hands caressing the familiar lines of the sleek black plastic as the jaunty little Dragon’s Lair tune burbled happily around us.
The mage, Jovana, was a serious-looking woman with a pageboy cut and dark power suit that all but reeked professional. I offered her my hand when we met; she just looked at it as if I was still holding the repulsive bit of demon flesh.
“I do not touch others,” she said curtly without the least hint of apology. “It upsets my psyche.”
“Ah. Sorry. So, best two out of three high scores wins?”
She nodded, her mouth a thin slash in her white face. “I wish to formally protest the method of this challenge. It does not represent in the least the importance of the position, a position I understand you have not even undertaken to conduct yourself.”
“There’ve been a few things going on in my life lately,” I said by way of an explanation.
Her expression was frozen. “I suppose you are aware that the members of the L’au-delà have given me their full support.”
“No, but I’m glad to hear it. That bodes well,” I answered with cheerful sangfroid.
She looked disconcerted for all of a second; then her haughty expression returned. “When I take over the position, I intend to amend the laws governing Venediger to ensure that no one like you is ever allowed to take control again.”
“Sounds good,” I said, glancing at my watch. “Would you mind if we hurried things up a bit? There’s something really important I have to do, and I’d like to get cracking on it as soon as possible.”
The three members of the Parisian Otherworld who accompanied her, acting as witnesses to the challenge, gasped in surprise.
“You would so mock this position?” Jovana asked, her dark eyes blazing. “Do you have so little respect for it?”
I crossed my arms. “The last Venediger tried to have me tossed in jail on murder charges. And kill me. You’re going to have to forgive me if I’m not overly enamored with the job.”
Fury lashed out from her as she gripped the machine next to mine. “You will rue the day you ever mocked the title Venediger, Aisling Grey.”
“Whatever,” I said, plopping a coin into my machine.
It didn’t take long for me to lose two games.
“It would have been faster if you hadn’t won the first round,” Jim said in a whisper.
“I lost my head. I forgot for a few minutes what I was doing,” I answered.
“Aisling Grey, you have lost the challenge for the position of Venediger of the L’au-delà!” Jovana said in a loud, piercing voice that echoed through the empty arcade. “It is my right and duty to so proclaim myself Venediger!”
“Congrats. Knock yourself out. Thanks for coming along,” I turned from Jovana to tell the three witnesses, who were huddled together. The two men and one woman had watched me warily the whole time, as if they expected me to burst out in hellfire and brimstone at any moment.
“Kneel before me, Aisling Grey,” Jovana ordered, pointing to the floor in front of her.
“Uh…I think I’ll pass on the groveling bit. You won fair and square. Congratulations and all that, but I really do have to be going.”
“Kneel!” she yelled, pointing.
I slid a glance at Traci. “Do I have to?”
It shrugged. “It is part of the ceremony.”
“Great.” I sighed heavily, then knelt before Jovana, just wanting to get the whole thing over with.
“Swear your fealty to me,” she said, holding out her hand so I could kiss it.
I raised both eyebrows. “Oh, I don’t think so.”
Anger bristled off her. “You must! Since we did not fight to the death, you must swear fealty to me.”
I sighed again. “Traci?”
“My lord, there are precedents. If a defender is not killed by the challenger, it is traditional for the losing party to swear allegiance to the winner so as to avoid any further confrontations in the future.”
“You must swear fealty to me,” Jovana said in a voice that was beginning to strike me as officious and annoying.
“Well, I can’t, OK? I already swore fealty to the green dragons. I can’t swear it to you, too.”
“You must,” she said stubbornly, shaking her hand in front of my face.
“You people really are single-minded,” I said, kneeling. “And Drake used to give me a hard time about seeing everything in black and white. If it will get you off my back and let me get out of here, I will swear my allegiance to you insofar as it doesn’t conflict with my allegiance to the green dragons, the Guardians’ Guild, or anything else I’m involved with that doesn’t have its origins in Abaddon.”
She sputtered a couple of times as I gave the back of her hand a peck and stood up. “That is not a proper oath of fealty!”
“It’s as good a one as you’re going to get,” I said, snapping a leash on Jim’s collar. “Right, Uncle Damian, Traci…let’s go.”
“Go where?” Jim asked as we marched out of the arcade.
“You have not heard the last of me!” Jovana yelled after us.
“To find Drake,” I answered, waving my hand at her to let her know I heard.
“I don’t believe he wants you to follow him,” Uncle Damian started to say, but I stopped him with a look.
“That was before.”
“Before?” he asked.
“Before he sent a dragon, bird, lion, and tiger into my dreams.”
Jim pursed its lips and blew out a whistle as we emerged from the arcade to the cold air of a January morning. “The wind horse.”
“Yup.” I stopped on the sidewalk, admiring for a moment a tiny glimpse of peachy-red sky between buildings. Above the horizon, the sky deepened into darker blue, then finally indigo, a faint scattering of stars still visible. I wondered if Drake had seen that same sunrise, my heart tightening painfully at the thought. “Gentlemen, I hope you have some warm clothing. I understand Tibet in winter is a bit nippy.”
“You’re getting a raise,” I told the steward.
It smiled modestly. “I do my best to serve you in all things, Lord Aisling.”
And so it was that a half hour later, I found myself at a familiar machine, my hands caressing the familiar lines of the sleek black plastic as the jaunty little Dragon’s Lair tune burbled happily around us.
The mage, Jovana, was a serious-looking woman with a pageboy cut and dark power suit that all but reeked professional. I offered her my hand when we met; she just looked at it as if I was still holding the repulsive bit of demon flesh.
“I do not touch others,” she said curtly without the least hint of apology. “It upsets my psyche.”
“Ah. Sorry. So, best two out of three high scores wins?”
She nodded, her mouth a thin slash in her white face. “I wish to formally protest the method of this challenge. It does not represent in the least the importance of the position, a position I understand you have not even undertaken to conduct yourself.”
“There’ve been a few things going on in my life lately,” I said by way of an explanation.
Her expression was frozen. “I suppose you are aware that the members of the L’au-delà have given me their full support.”
“No, but I’m glad to hear it. That bodes well,” I answered with cheerful sangfroid.
She looked disconcerted for all of a second; then her haughty expression returned. “When I take over the position, I intend to amend the laws governing Venediger to ensure that no one like you is ever allowed to take control again.”
“Sounds good,” I said, glancing at my watch. “Would you mind if we hurried things up a bit? There’s something really important I have to do, and I’d like to get cracking on it as soon as possible.”
The three members of the Parisian Otherworld who accompanied her, acting as witnesses to the challenge, gasped in surprise.
“You would so mock this position?” Jovana asked, her dark eyes blazing. “Do you have so little respect for it?”
I crossed my arms. “The last Venediger tried to have me tossed in jail on murder charges. And kill me. You’re going to have to forgive me if I’m not overly enamored with the job.”
Fury lashed out from her as she gripped the machine next to mine. “You will rue the day you ever mocked the title Venediger, Aisling Grey.”
“Whatever,” I said, plopping a coin into my machine.
It didn’t take long for me to lose two games.
“It would have been faster if you hadn’t won the first round,” Jim said in a whisper.
“I lost my head. I forgot for a few minutes what I was doing,” I answered.
“Aisling Grey, you have lost the challenge for the position of Venediger of the L’au-delà!” Jovana said in a loud, piercing voice that echoed through the empty arcade. “It is my right and duty to so proclaim myself Venediger!”
“Congrats. Knock yourself out. Thanks for coming along,” I turned from Jovana to tell the three witnesses, who were huddled together. The two men and one woman had watched me warily the whole time, as if they expected me to burst out in hellfire and brimstone at any moment.
“Kneel before me, Aisling Grey,” Jovana ordered, pointing to the floor in front of her.
“Uh…I think I’ll pass on the groveling bit. You won fair and square. Congratulations and all that, but I really do have to be going.”
“Kneel!” she yelled, pointing.
I slid a glance at Traci. “Do I have to?”
It shrugged. “It is part of the ceremony.”
“Great.” I sighed heavily, then knelt before Jovana, just wanting to get the whole thing over with.
“Swear your fealty to me,” she said, holding out her hand so I could kiss it.
I raised both eyebrows. “Oh, I don’t think so.”
Anger bristled off her. “You must! Since we did not fight to the death, you must swear fealty to me.”
I sighed again. “Traci?”
“My lord, there are precedents. If a defender is not killed by the challenger, it is traditional for the losing party to swear allegiance to the winner so as to avoid any further confrontations in the future.”
“You must swear fealty to me,” Jovana said in a voice that was beginning to strike me as officious and annoying.
“Well, I can’t, OK? I already swore fealty to the green dragons. I can’t swear it to you, too.”
“You must,” she said stubbornly, shaking her hand in front of my face.
“You people really are single-minded,” I said, kneeling. “And Drake used to give me a hard time about seeing everything in black and white. If it will get you off my back and let me get out of here, I will swear my allegiance to you insofar as it doesn’t conflict with my allegiance to the green dragons, the Guardians’ Guild, or anything else I’m involved with that doesn’t have its origins in Abaddon.”
She sputtered a couple of times as I gave the back of her hand a peck and stood up. “That is not a proper oath of fealty!”
“It’s as good a one as you’re going to get,” I said, snapping a leash on Jim’s collar. “Right, Uncle Damian, Traci…let’s go.”
“Go where?” Jim asked as we marched out of the arcade.
“You have not heard the last of me!” Jovana yelled after us.
“To find Drake,” I answered, waving my hand at her to let her know I heard.
“I don’t believe he wants you to follow him,” Uncle Damian started to say, but I stopped him with a look.
“That was before.”
“Before?” he asked.
“Before he sent a dragon, bird, lion, and tiger into my dreams.”
Jim pursed its lips and blew out a whistle as we emerged from the arcade to the cold air of a January morning. “The wind horse.”
“Yup.” I stopped on the sidewalk, admiring for a moment a tiny glimpse of peachy-red sky between buildings. Above the horizon, the sky deepened into darker blue, then finally indigo, a faint scattering of stars still visible. I wondered if Drake had seen that same sunrise, my heart tightening painfully at the thought. “Gentlemen, I hope you have some warm clothing. I understand Tibet in winter is a bit nippy.”
