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Dammit. Vaughn is hiding something from me and it definitely has to do with this party tonight.
I walk out of his office and head straight for the coffee. While it brews, I stew in my own anger. It’s bubbling up around me. Why am I so angry about this? Mostly it’s because I feel left out. I feel like he’s got another life without me. Like when he goes to work, he forgets all about what’s waiting here for him at home.
I sit at the kitchen island bar drinking cup after cup of coffee as I think about this. What should I do? Should I ignore it and let him go to the party and then confront him about it when he gets home? Should I go down to the studio and make sure everything is on the up and up with him and Valencia? Should I use his ticket that Larry sent to go to the Black Bash and figure it out for myself?
My phone rings, startling me out of my introspection, and when I look up at the stove for the time, I realize it’s already past noon. I’ve been sitting here for hours.
The phone rings again, so I reach for it and press accept before looking at the caller. “Hello.”
“Grace,” Kristi says, all out of breath on the other line.
“Kristi! Oh my God, I’m so happy to hear from you! You sound like you’re panting.”
“Well,” she says with a smile—I can totally see that smile—“I’m all out of breath because they just brought me my beautiful baby girl and I’m so excited, I can’t stop my happy cry. And the minute I was able to think, I thought to myself, ‘I need to tell Grace. She’s the best friend I have these days and I need to tell Grace.’”
“Awww.” God, I feel so selfish and awful. I haven’t thought about Kristi in weeks. “I should’ve been there. Do you want me to come now? I can help you out at home if you want.”
The baby makes a little noise and Kristi actually sighs with contentment. I get a stabbing pain of jealousy straight through my heart.
“No, no, no,” she says quickly. “You just stay home and take care of yourself, Kinsella. Or should I call you Asher now?”
Well, that’s the question of the day. “Better stick with Kinsella for now.”
“I’d love for you to visit when you’re ready, but there’s no rush.” The baby starts to cry for real now, and there’s some voices—Johnny and someone else who might be a nurse—telling Kristi she has to hang up. “I gotta go, Grace. But I wanted you to be the first person I called.”
“Wait.” I stop her from hanging up. “What’s her name?”
“Oh, I’m so silly! Of course. Her name is Hope. Hope Blazen.”
“Beautiful,” I sigh.
And then she quickly says goodbye again and ends the call.
Hope.
I think Hope is a very good reason for me to pull myself together and go shopping. So I clean up my mess and go get ready to hand over the credit card.
And an hour later I’m on Rodeo Drive just as I planned, but this time, I’m not shopping out of spite. I’m shopping for Hope.
There are a ton of shops here. And honestly, I’m sure Target would be just as good as these fancy boutiques, but they’ve got a Tiffany’s down here and I want to look around.
I give the car to the valet and that’s where I start my afternoon. I head straight to the rings. I know, I’m just punishing myself. He hasn’t mentioned a ring to me, and he just said last night we’re not getting remarried, so why bother?
But I’m a princess and I have a dream. And maybe a wedding was not a part of that dream originally, but it is now. And weddings come with rings.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Asher. Can I help you find something specific today?”
Jesus Christ. They know me. I just stare at her. I’m shocked. I’m not sure why, I know my face has been on the news a lot this year, but holy fucking shit. A clerk in a Tiffany’s should not recognize me when I’m in shorts and flip flops.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, as I back away and slide my sunglasses down to cover my eyes. “You have the wrong person.”
The clerk’s smile never falters. “I’m so sorry, miss. My mistake. How can I help you?”
But I’m already out of there.
Fuck this.
I walk straight back to the valet and they greet me as Mrs. Asher as well. “I just need my car, thank you.”
A few minutes later they bring it around and the inside is still cool from the air-conditioning, that’s how short my Rodeo Drive shopping trip was.
I plug in a request for the nearest Target and start following the GPS voice and once I get there and find my way into the familiar store with the red carts, everything goes back to normal.
Maybe I’m not cut out for this life? I mean, Vaughn is so public. Everything about us in this town is news. I don’t understand that. I’ve been hiding from the media—from everybody—for so many years, it might not be possible to change that part of me. I don’t want to be famous. I don’t want people to know me. I want to be… invisible.
I love our home. I do feel like I belong there. But when I step outside without Vaughn, I’m overwhelmed with the attention.
I stop pushing my cart and look behind me, at the large glass doors that open and close as people come and go.
That city out there. It scares me.
I turn back to the store, because that’s not scary, and make my way to the baby stuff. I’m sure they have all these basic supplies, so I skip right to the clothes. I bet she’s got a ton of clothes too. So I choose an outfit that will take some time to grow into. It’s leftover from summer, so it’s like five dollars. I smile so hard at that, since Kristi and I are so rich we could afford anything. But cute is cute. Besides, it has a matching sun hat. I’ll send an invitation to come visit us after football season is over. Then Hope can wear it to the pool.
I grab more stuff—not all from the sale rack—and fill up my cart. It’s too much, but I don’t care. I’ll send some of it for Christmas.
I look down the aisle and spot the Christmas stuff and my heart pounds with excitement. I do love me some Christmas. So I wheel my cart out of the baby section and head towards holidays. They still have Halloween candy on sale and I’m wondering when the last time was that I had a Snickers when I see it.
My cart comes to a halt, and then before I know what I’m doing, I’ve got it in my hand.
I walk out of his office and head straight for the coffee. While it brews, I stew in my own anger. It’s bubbling up around me. Why am I so angry about this? Mostly it’s because I feel left out. I feel like he’s got another life without me. Like when he goes to work, he forgets all about what’s waiting here for him at home.
I sit at the kitchen island bar drinking cup after cup of coffee as I think about this. What should I do? Should I ignore it and let him go to the party and then confront him about it when he gets home? Should I go down to the studio and make sure everything is on the up and up with him and Valencia? Should I use his ticket that Larry sent to go to the Black Bash and figure it out for myself?
My phone rings, startling me out of my introspection, and when I look up at the stove for the time, I realize it’s already past noon. I’ve been sitting here for hours.
The phone rings again, so I reach for it and press accept before looking at the caller. “Hello.”
“Grace,” Kristi says, all out of breath on the other line.
“Kristi! Oh my God, I’m so happy to hear from you! You sound like you’re panting.”
“Well,” she says with a smile—I can totally see that smile—“I’m all out of breath because they just brought me my beautiful baby girl and I’m so excited, I can’t stop my happy cry. And the minute I was able to think, I thought to myself, ‘I need to tell Grace. She’s the best friend I have these days and I need to tell Grace.’”
“Awww.” God, I feel so selfish and awful. I haven’t thought about Kristi in weeks. “I should’ve been there. Do you want me to come now? I can help you out at home if you want.”
The baby makes a little noise and Kristi actually sighs with contentment. I get a stabbing pain of jealousy straight through my heart.
“No, no, no,” she says quickly. “You just stay home and take care of yourself, Kinsella. Or should I call you Asher now?”
Well, that’s the question of the day. “Better stick with Kinsella for now.”
“I’d love for you to visit when you’re ready, but there’s no rush.” The baby starts to cry for real now, and there’s some voices—Johnny and someone else who might be a nurse—telling Kristi she has to hang up. “I gotta go, Grace. But I wanted you to be the first person I called.”
“Wait.” I stop her from hanging up. “What’s her name?”
“Oh, I’m so silly! Of course. Her name is Hope. Hope Blazen.”
“Beautiful,” I sigh.
And then she quickly says goodbye again and ends the call.
Hope.
I think Hope is a very good reason for me to pull myself together and go shopping. So I clean up my mess and go get ready to hand over the credit card.
And an hour later I’m on Rodeo Drive just as I planned, but this time, I’m not shopping out of spite. I’m shopping for Hope.
There are a ton of shops here. And honestly, I’m sure Target would be just as good as these fancy boutiques, but they’ve got a Tiffany’s down here and I want to look around.
I give the car to the valet and that’s where I start my afternoon. I head straight to the rings. I know, I’m just punishing myself. He hasn’t mentioned a ring to me, and he just said last night we’re not getting remarried, so why bother?
But I’m a princess and I have a dream. And maybe a wedding was not a part of that dream originally, but it is now. And weddings come with rings.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Asher. Can I help you find something specific today?”
Jesus Christ. They know me. I just stare at her. I’m shocked. I’m not sure why, I know my face has been on the news a lot this year, but holy fucking shit. A clerk in a Tiffany’s should not recognize me when I’m in shorts and flip flops.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, as I back away and slide my sunglasses down to cover my eyes. “You have the wrong person.”
The clerk’s smile never falters. “I’m so sorry, miss. My mistake. How can I help you?”
But I’m already out of there.
Fuck this.
I walk straight back to the valet and they greet me as Mrs. Asher as well. “I just need my car, thank you.”
A few minutes later they bring it around and the inside is still cool from the air-conditioning, that’s how short my Rodeo Drive shopping trip was.
I plug in a request for the nearest Target and start following the GPS voice and once I get there and find my way into the familiar store with the red carts, everything goes back to normal.
Maybe I’m not cut out for this life? I mean, Vaughn is so public. Everything about us in this town is news. I don’t understand that. I’ve been hiding from the media—from everybody—for so many years, it might not be possible to change that part of me. I don’t want to be famous. I don’t want people to know me. I want to be… invisible.
I love our home. I do feel like I belong there. But when I step outside without Vaughn, I’m overwhelmed with the attention.
I stop pushing my cart and look behind me, at the large glass doors that open and close as people come and go.
That city out there. It scares me.
I turn back to the store, because that’s not scary, and make my way to the baby stuff. I’m sure they have all these basic supplies, so I skip right to the clothes. I bet she’s got a ton of clothes too. So I choose an outfit that will take some time to grow into. It’s leftover from summer, so it’s like five dollars. I smile so hard at that, since Kristi and I are so rich we could afford anything. But cute is cute. Besides, it has a matching sun hat. I’ll send an invitation to come visit us after football season is over. Then Hope can wear it to the pool.
I grab more stuff—not all from the sale rack—and fill up my cart. It’s too much, but I don’t care. I’ll send some of it for Christmas.
I look down the aisle and spot the Christmas stuff and my heart pounds with excitement. I do love me some Christmas. So I wheel my cart out of the baby section and head towards holidays. They still have Halloween candy on sale and I’m wondering when the last time was that I had a Snickers when I see it.
My cart comes to a halt, and then before I know what I’m doing, I’ve got it in my hand.
