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“More, and more, and more.”
“Forever. Happily ever after.”
“Baby, don’t tease me. I’ll give you forever if want it.”
“I need forever so bad.”
“Then marry me—”
“Wait.” Grace stops me with a hand on my chest. “That’s it? You asked me post-coital and I just said yes?”
“Shhhh.” I hush her with a finger to her lips. “Just listen.”
“—Grace. I have never felt this sure of something in my whole life. Ever. You, baby. You are the secret to life. You are my reason for being. You are my soulmate. We are tethered by a string. Some mystical string that connects us and has connected us since our inception. And the day I saw your sandaled foot step out of that dingy airport shuttle, I knew. You were my other half. It’s the only explanation for how I feel about you. And I tried to deny it. Tried to prove to myself that this arrangement with you was… ordinary.”
I flip us over one more time so I can be on top again. I prop myself up on my forearms and let my hands fall gently along each of her cheeks. I stroke her softly, my thumb arcing back and forth across her soft skin. I devour her with my eyes. “What we have is so far from ordinary, Grace. It’s not a connection. It’s a reconnection. I need you to understand that and I really don’t have the words to describe what you mean to me right now. But even though my expression is inadequate, please believe me. You’re mine. That’s all there is to it. And if you need me to make that declaration permanent, then marry me.”
She stares up at me and her breath hitches like she might start crying at any moment.
“Just marry me.”
“And that makes it… forever?” Her brows knit together in confusion.
I can see her point. Why would marriage change things? “No, baby. That’s not what makes it forever. The forever between us? It just is.” I lean down and kiss her on the lips. Our tongues tangle for a second and then they do more than that. Her fingers push through my hair and she flattens her palm against my head in her own version of possessiveness. “There’s no paper or vow in this world that can surpass what the universe has declared to be true.”
She swallows hard and that makes me smile, because it proves that she’s taking me seriously. I’m spewing all this metaphysical bullshit about fate and souls and ties that bind.
And she’s in.
“We just are. And that’s the end of it. We don’t need a marriage to make that true. It’s the laws of physics, baby. It’s under God and there’s no death do us part in any of this, Grace. Because we defy—”
“Oh my God,” she laughs. “You did not say all that shit!”
“Shit? I’m offended.”
But we both laugh.
“It’s pretty good though, huh? I mean, most of that is true. I was just a little too drunk that night to gather all those words into the same speech. But that’s what I meant.”
Chapter Three
#NextStep
I HAVE this stupid grin on my face and no matter how hard I try, I can’t make it go away. Vaughn Asher is such a bullshitter. But it’s so fucking adorable I almost die. Fate and souls and ties that tether us through eternity. That’s what he meant. I giggle and he pokes me in the ribs, making me squirm. “Stop,” I laugh. “You’re so full of it.”
“I’m not,” he says. “I really mean all that shit. And even though I didn’t really say it that night, I’m saying it now.”
“OK, whatever. All I want to hear about is the dress. And did I at least eat cake?”
“Sweets, we were invited down to the Bellagio bakery. You got to taste everything. You dipped your newly wedded fingers into frosted cupcakes that were so pretty and perfect they looked fake.”
“Stop. How do I know what’s true if you keep lying?”
He sighs. I know what that means. He’s disappointed that I don’t remember. “You will remember, Grace. I have faith. You had a dress, but I’m not gonna tell you about it because it was so beautiful and perfect you won’t believe me.” He sighs again and then he turns his head so he can gaze at me sidelong. “I can’t do it justice. You need to see it in your own memories.”
“But where is it? I was wearing a little white cotton nightie when I woke up. Did I get married in that?”
“No,” he says sadly.
God, it hurts me that my memory lapse is affecting him so hard.
“No, we picked that out from the lingerie shop. Carl was with us.” He laughs at that and so do I. I’m not sure why. “Poor Carl. I bet he gets a fat raise for putting up with me that night. I made him open the pool—”
“The pool?”
“I’m not saying another word. If you don’t remember, you don’t deserve to hear it from me. But you did demand a hundred underwater candles.”
“What?”
“One hundred. And you wanted to count them.” He laughs a little harder at that one.
“I don’t even know what an underwater candle is.”
“Well”—he kisses me, still laughing into my mouth—“that wish was not granted. But your list was long, baby. So I hope you’re not too disappointed.”
“I had a wish list? That doesn’t sound like me at all.”
“I know. I loved that drunk Grace had grabby hands for so many things.”
“So the dress?”
His fingertips touch my lips and I open my mouth, my tongue darting out automatically. “Nah,” he says under his breath. “Nah. I don’t want to spoil it. I want you to remember all on your own.”
I think I make him sad. And it kills me. I want to remember so bad.
“It’s OK, sweets. It’s OK. I’ll wait. Now close your eyes. Enjoy the sunshine. Enjoy the peace. Let’s just float.”
And we do. We float down River Asher and my whole body just sighs with satisfaction. I think I relax. Really relax, for the first time in… well, ten years.
The masked man is dead. And yeah, I get that I’m fucked up. I understand now. Vaughn was right about that. I need help.
But not today. Today all I need is Vaughn. That’s it. One man who knows me. Who loves me. “I’m glad we’re married, Mr. Asher.”
“Forever. Happily ever after.”
“Baby, don’t tease me. I’ll give you forever if want it.”
“I need forever so bad.”
“Then marry me—”
“Wait.” Grace stops me with a hand on my chest. “That’s it? You asked me post-coital and I just said yes?”
“Shhhh.” I hush her with a finger to her lips. “Just listen.”
“—Grace. I have never felt this sure of something in my whole life. Ever. You, baby. You are the secret to life. You are my reason for being. You are my soulmate. We are tethered by a string. Some mystical string that connects us and has connected us since our inception. And the day I saw your sandaled foot step out of that dingy airport shuttle, I knew. You were my other half. It’s the only explanation for how I feel about you. And I tried to deny it. Tried to prove to myself that this arrangement with you was… ordinary.”
I flip us over one more time so I can be on top again. I prop myself up on my forearms and let my hands fall gently along each of her cheeks. I stroke her softly, my thumb arcing back and forth across her soft skin. I devour her with my eyes. “What we have is so far from ordinary, Grace. It’s not a connection. It’s a reconnection. I need you to understand that and I really don’t have the words to describe what you mean to me right now. But even though my expression is inadequate, please believe me. You’re mine. That’s all there is to it. And if you need me to make that declaration permanent, then marry me.”
She stares up at me and her breath hitches like she might start crying at any moment.
“Just marry me.”
“And that makes it… forever?” Her brows knit together in confusion.
I can see her point. Why would marriage change things? “No, baby. That’s not what makes it forever. The forever between us? It just is.” I lean down and kiss her on the lips. Our tongues tangle for a second and then they do more than that. Her fingers push through my hair and she flattens her palm against my head in her own version of possessiveness. “There’s no paper or vow in this world that can surpass what the universe has declared to be true.”
She swallows hard and that makes me smile, because it proves that she’s taking me seriously. I’m spewing all this metaphysical bullshit about fate and souls and ties that bind.
And she’s in.
“We just are. And that’s the end of it. We don’t need a marriage to make that true. It’s the laws of physics, baby. It’s under God and there’s no death do us part in any of this, Grace. Because we defy—”
“Oh my God,” she laughs. “You did not say all that shit!”
“Shit? I’m offended.”
But we both laugh.
“It’s pretty good though, huh? I mean, most of that is true. I was just a little too drunk that night to gather all those words into the same speech. But that’s what I meant.”
Chapter Three
#NextStep
I HAVE this stupid grin on my face and no matter how hard I try, I can’t make it go away. Vaughn Asher is such a bullshitter. But it’s so fucking adorable I almost die. Fate and souls and ties that tether us through eternity. That’s what he meant. I giggle and he pokes me in the ribs, making me squirm. “Stop,” I laugh. “You’re so full of it.”
“I’m not,” he says. “I really mean all that shit. And even though I didn’t really say it that night, I’m saying it now.”
“OK, whatever. All I want to hear about is the dress. And did I at least eat cake?”
“Sweets, we were invited down to the Bellagio bakery. You got to taste everything. You dipped your newly wedded fingers into frosted cupcakes that were so pretty and perfect they looked fake.”
“Stop. How do I know what’s true if you keep lying?”
He sighs. I know what that means. He’s disappointed that I don’t remember. “You will remember, Grace. I have faith. You had a dress, but I’m not gonna tell you about it because it was so beautiful and perfect you won’t believe me.” He sighs again and then he turns his head so he can gaze at me sidelong. “I can’t do it justice. You need to see it in your own memories.”
“But where is it? I was wearing a little white cotton nightie when I woke up. Did I get married in that?”
“No,” he says sadly.
God, it hurts me that my memory lapse is affecting him so hard.
“No, we picked that out from the lingerie shop. Carl was with us.” He laughs at that and so do I. I’m not sure why. “Poor Carl. I bet he gets a fat raise for putting up with me that night. I made him open the pool—”
“The pool?”
“I’m not saying another word. If you don’t remember, you don’t deserve to hear it from me. But you did demand a hundred underwater candles.”
“What?”
“One hundred. And you wanted to count them.” He laughs a little harder at that one.
“I don’t even know what an underwater candle is.”
“Well”—he kisses me, still laughing into my mouth—“that wish was not granted. But your list was long, baby. So I hope you’re not too disappointed.”
“I had a wish list? That doesn’t sound like me at all.”
“I know. I loved that drunk Grace had grabby hands for so many things.”
“So the dress?”
His fingertips touch my lips and I open my mouth, my tongue darting out automatically. “Nah,” he says under his breath. “Nah. I don’t want to spoil it. I want you to remember all on your own.”
I think I make him sad. And it kills me. I want to remember so bad.
“It’s OK, sweets. It’s OK. I’ll wait. Now close your eyes. Enjoy the sunshine. Enjoy the peace. Let’s just float.”
And we do. We float down River Asher and my whole body just sighs with satisfaction. I think I relax. Really relax, for the first time in… well, ten years.
The masked man is dead. And yeah, I get that I’m fucked up. I understand now. Vaughn was right about that. I need help.
But not today. Today all I need is Vaughn. That’s it. One man who knows me. Who loves me. “I’m glad we’re married, Mr. Asher.”
